Sunday, January 29

Tell Me More!

Em and I trekked to the market today. It took twice as long as I'd anticipated, because the second any woman passing by realized my sling held, not a pocketbook and notepads, but *shriek* a BABY, said woman felt compelled to talk to me. Today we spoke with three women who'd raised five children each, and they just beamed as they recounted some special event or memory. We heard from one lady who reared eight children, one with four girls and a little boy, and one who also raised three boys and a girl. We heard great-grandma stories and adoring aunt stories. A lady behind me in the checkout line even glowed about her neighbor's children!

I love that. We are so fortunate, and we know it. We cherish it. And we're doing well in our transition period, yet it was so refreshing and encouraging to walk this uplifting path through the market. Just imagine what those encounters would have done to boost my spirits if I was an overwhelmed first-time mom, or having a truly rough day, or questioning my sanity in having had a *gasp* fourth child! What a difference kind words can make.

Then, on the flip side, are those who feel the need to be nasty and snotty about *their own children* when you try to compliment them. ARGH! What is WRONG with these people? Do you really believe your child will somehow behave better if she overhears you lambasting her character to total strangers? One woman ahead of me in line had two little girls. They were not misbehaving or mouthy. They were quite well-behaved, actually, even with the long wait in line. I just had to comment on them. The mother immediately ripped off a few complaints and then offered to give me her two. In jest, of course, but the look on her four year old daughter's face showed that she didn't find it humorous. It just broke my heart. What a difference thoughtless words can make.

So when you're out and about, and you see a mom - of many, of one, it doesn't matter - share a warm story, give a little smile, find something to compliment about her child. You could turn her day around. She may turn out to be one of those who simply cannot hear something positive about her child without having some quip to snap back with, but odds are very good that you will leave someone feeling refreshed and encouraged. It's a good thing to do, and it's worth the effort.

On to other news, we had official Company today. The house wasn't too scary (I hope), and Zorak did all the cooking (which may have looked strange, but Zorak was making his specialties, and I had baby duty). It was one of Zorak's co-workers who'd come over to visit, help in the boys' room, and stay for supper. It was nice to meet him, and we enjoyed having him over. He's a nice guy. He's also a single guy, and he handled the boys' excitement quite well. (They pulled out all the stops on their stash of Stoopid Human Tricks! Wiggling various body parts, crossing only one eye, making odd concoctions, asking odd questions... *sigh* I've got to start getting them out more. Thankfully, they did draw the line before getting to True Guy Humor and Bodily Functions. *whew*) But Co-Worker Man was gracious about it and took it all in stride. For that, I am truly appreciative.

Loved all the responses to the foods, but man, I've got to ask on a non-weekend post sometime! And now I have to find a really great Chinese food restaurant, too! That's one drawback to living in a town with a whopping population of 353 - nobody delivers, but everyone knows where you live, anyway!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

7 comments:

J-Lynn said...

We had a similiar experience at the grocery store after I hung up with you Dy. I was in a rush because the baby was a bit fussy but I heard quick comments

"what a beautiful baby"

"I see you have a little helper"

"My oh my he's so alert"

"I bet you just can't ever lay him down can you? He's precious"

It really is like fuel to the fire, in a good way. I left that store in higher spirits then I went in. And I was beaming ear to ear with pride.

BTW, thanks for the reminder to compliment others. I truly don't do that enough being so preoccupied with my own. I used to go to great lengths to do so. You are so good!

HUGS

Needleroozer said...

That is a good reminder.
So does having had a helper over last night mean you are going to be texturing walls today? Hope you have a wonderful day today.
LB, who is going to try to be in the basement for at least some of hers.

Bob and Claire said...

Mmmm, I love those comments too. We have a LONG trip to go to the commissary, but it never fails that several sweet old retired couples say absolutely wonderful things about the boys there, so it is always an encouragement! I always think to myself to remember to be that kind of woman when I am older--one who notices and enjoys the children of others!

On a side note, my aunt posted on her blog (http://pilotmom.blogspot.com/) a list of "Soutnernisms" from one of my great-aunts, and they made me think of you--one of them had to do with making close friends while standing in lines, since you talk with everyone in stores! : )

Melora said...

I'm glad you met so many friendly people. I think babies tend to bring out niceness (and Emily is particularly cute!).

My ds is another who Has to show all of his toys and describe all their many wonders to guests in our home. It is kind of rough, but I figure it's a good test of whether the guests are Our Sort of People.
Cordially,
Melora

Delaina said...

Dy,

I'm so glad you posted this. It's kinda funny at the same time, as this has been on my mind lately. I do not live in a small town, but when I do venture out to the masses, I rarely see smiles. It's kind of sad. Makes a person like me want to walk around with a huge smile on my face for all to see. Maybe they'll even smile back. Or, maybe they'll just wonder what I'm up to ;-)

Anyway, once again, you've been both enlightening and encouraging. Kind words and a smile are simple things to do and they really can go a long way.

Amber said...

Gregory and I have been out to the store a couple times on our own too, and it is amazing all the comments we get. (We also get a lot when Emma is around too of course!) I always have Gregory in a sling (well, a fleece pouch, but pretty much the same thing) My favorite was when we were in line at the grocery store the other day and the woman behind me asked how old my baby is. The woman in front of me who had been sneaking looks behind her spun around with an expression of astonishment on her face and exclaimed, "oh, that's what you have in there!" I really wanted to ask her what she thought I had in there! I also had a woman ask me when I was due. LOL

Delaina said...

Dy,

I hope that you are really checking these. LOL

I tried e-mailing you today and the e-mail address was returned back to me. Would you mind sending me your e-mail at hsingmommyto3@bellsouth.net?

Other than IM, this is the only way I know to get in touch with you.