The alternator on the Suburban gave up as we topped out the Big Scary-Ass Bridge. (We knew it was coming, but were hoping to ignore it until payday.) So when we met with her, we explained that we were running only on battery power and would not be able to view all three homes she had lined up for us to see.
Her: (biting her lower lip and furrowing her brow) Hmmm... Welllll, hmmmm, let's see.
I braced myself.
Zorak started to chuckle.
I slapped his knee.
He slapped my knee.
We engaged in a silly knee-slapping war while she sat there, contemplating.
Her: (perking up visibly) OK, well, if we can only see two, *exhale* then we need to see the best two on the list.
Can you see it all from where you're sitting? It's not in slow-motion, but in full-out 1980's John Cusack self-deprication mode...
*bang, bang, bang*, my head against the dashboard.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh, the HUMANITY!!!
There, feel better? That's what I did- in my head. But on the outside, I turned to Zorak for moral support, for him to take the lead.
He ignored me and pretended to tap the gauges, still chuckling. (He saw that coming, didn't he?)
ONCE MORE, from the top. Everybody, on the count of three, say it with me!
the. one. we. requested. is. the. one. for. us. to. see.
First.
If necessary, it is the only one for us to see.
But do not, I repeat, DO NOT leave it off the list in favor of smaller, re-carpeted, more expensive boxes on the list.
She sighed. She grimaced. She compared the three printouts and grimaced some more. (I'm starting to think this is physically hurting her.) She acquiesced.
(Boy, was I ever glad, as we didn't have the juice left in the Suburban for my next plan of attack: chase her all over the County, screaming out the windows, "We want a shack! We want a shack!")
So, we looked at it.
It's infested with mice- they've eaten the bottom two inches off the cabinets.
Window seals are broken so the view, as seen through them, is a hazy dew-coated mirage.
The carpet looks like gypsies camped there over the winter.
One of the skylights leaks ferociously and seems to be fostering the always-fun-and-educational Chia-
Something very bad took place in the living room. As long as the police have been notified, I'm good with that.
The list goes on.
Except for being a little far from Zorak's work (which is so not an issue at this point!) it is, in a word, perfect!
Now, though, the key is to figure out how much Dude*, and others of his persuasion, are going to bid for it. We are hoping to find that sweet spot: below full-market fixed-up value, but more than it'd be worth for Dude to dump into it and hope to get a profit after he fixes it up. Anybody want to take a stab at the profit margin for something like this? We're open for suggestions!
After the first hour of us poking around the house and taking notes, the clouds parted and the angels sang. Our realtor actually said, "Yeah, you know, this wouldn't be bad." She stopped trying to usher us out the door to the next box. She quit trying to play down the ugliness (and beauty) of the structure's condition. For the first time, she seemed to be able to look at this house through our eyes and see what we've been trying to explain. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I'd give two thousand words for one good walk-through. I don't think she'll be trying to show us any more 900 square foot trailers in the "200K and up range" anymore.
HALLELUJAH!
So, yeah, that's it for now. Will have an update on Tuesday about a few things. Kinda nervous. Kinda happy. Quite thrilled to know we won't have to sell this realtor to the gypsies. It's all good.
Kiss those babies!
~Dy
*Dude*- pet name for the rude guy who walked in on the showing, wearing the orange down vest and $300 work boots with the toothpick protruding from the corner of his mouth, an "investor," who supposedly has an "in" with another realtor and knows the lingo, but didn't bother to admit to a breech of ettiquette until after he'd seen the entire structure. May his level leak and his angles be off by just enough to not be able to fudge them anymore.
8 comments:
Yay! Yay! Yay!
Now get Realtor-Girl (you can make her a cape from the carpet) to pull comps on the house -- have her pull similar repos and similar "turnkey" houses -- that will give you your endpoints for your bid.
Then, try that thing where the kids write the lenders letters praising your construction skills and saying how great it's going to be to give that house a new life as a good family home.
Lenders have kids, too.
AK (minus four days to house-hunting lift off)
OK, so when we moved from Colorado to WA in 1988 (and you are going to hate this part of the story) we looked at one house, bought it within 15 minutes of walking in the door. OK. Pick yourself off the floor. But here is where your question comes in.
The sellers had bought the house in April for $80K. They put $20K into it--re-finished the wood floors, painted, new curtains, french-doors on a deck, and I think new carpet in the basement. Not a lot of time or work, really. We bought it in July for $145K. We would NOT have bought the $80K version--we needed to have move-in condition. And it was a real-estate feeding frenzy at the time.
But here is where it gets wicked. Before we left the house that day, 1-2 hours, with all the papers signed, the seller had two back-up offers: one for $155K and one for $165K. And then our earnest check bounced. But the people honored the contract with us (ANYWAY) and we got it all squared away and closed within 4 weeks.
THAT is what happened with us...it was a feeding frenzy at the time, though. This was a FSBO, and we were there 30 minutes before the first open house started. The funny part was that we felt like idiots paying that much for a house because even in the overpriced world of Boulder, CO, a house like that would have been $90K max. SO, it depends on a lot of factors what you can expect to accomplish.
AK- thanks for the comps suggestion- I'll do that.
Patty- yes, our market is similar to that. The thing is, we know what the house will sell for when it's fixed up. And we've got a great guestimate of what the clean-up/repairs will cost. So NOW, the million dollar question is- how little is an "investor" willing to pocket from a project like that? If we can figure that out, then we will have a good chance at making our bid the best one they get w/o killing ourselves to do it.
So, basically- the house *will* sell for Z when it's finished, it will cost Y to get it to that point and the only true unknown is X, what to pay for the house.
Is it worth the effort for a 20K profit? For 10K? At what point ($$) does the potential investor say it's not worth his time/effort/energy? Does that make sense?
Well, I'll say a prayer tonight that God will bless you with a rodent-infested crime scene. Hey, what are friends for?
And I'll request confusion for all your bidding enemies, including Dude. You know, like in the Old Testament when the Israelites had like three guys left in their army and God would confuse the other team so the Israelites won anyway. Well, I'll pray for him to do that to the other bidders. Not so they get in a car wreck or anything horrible, but just so they forget a zero when they're writing their offers or something along those lines.
I hope that helps!
Hmmmmm
Mice infested? Stains in the living room? Bad ceilings?
Are you sure you didn't look at *my* house??? Of course, we are too lazy to fix it up, just trying to get the darn mice out...lol
I'm so happy for you Dy! You not only found a great house but broadened the horizon for a narrowly focused person! ;-)
Hugs,
Jess
Hey Dy,
I asked my husband, the general contractor, and he gave me this long convoluted answer. I'm going to try and put it down into a coherent email...
I'm guessing that those other two higher priced houses were the realtor's own listings. They like to push their own so that they don't have to share a commission on another realtor's listing. Vultures.
I'm not sure exactly how it's done, but I believe you can write your offer with a clause in it that says you'll pay $2000 more than any offer that beats yours (or whatever $$ more), up to a hard cap. This could be tricky, though -- who exactly does your realtor have fiduciary duty to and whatnot, and how to make sure that the sellers don't just get your highest possible bid. But I know that this kind of stuff was used in the hot hot San Francisco housing market. Might be a useful technique to beat Dude.
Great News...
How I wish I could see it all!
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