A long talk, a busy day, a wonderful family

The boys and I didn't start out quite on the right foot this morning. When things finally erupted into a Picasso-Mensch like combo snapshot of screaming and crying and one-eyed creatures with no ears... it was time for a talk.

I brought the boys downstairs, set them to lunch at the table. Then I tended to the bumps and bruises which had precipitated the screaming and crying. (John had managed to mangle himself quite nicely by jumping on my bed after I'd come downstairs to prepare lunch... after I'd ushered him out of my room on the way.) So, no sympathy because you got hurt while disobeying me, but I will check for actual damage or injuries that need tending to, and remind you that I love you, yes, even when you've made bad choices.

Then I took a d-e-e-p breath.

I exhaled.

The boys stared at me, obviously disquieted.

And we talked in depth about tomato staking (well, deep when you're six and four). We talked about how Mommy's job is to guide them and prepare and look after them, always, with the hope that one day they'll be big tomatoes themselves and capable of looking after their own garden. (We had a slight swerve off course as they asked questions about gardens, greenhouses, and whether we can get a tomato worm. I've gotta back off the analogies a little.)

Back on track (mostly, but they really would like a tomato worm), I apologized for having not done it as consistently as I ought to. I explained that I'll be more diligent about that now, because I love them and they deserve that. They are my precious little ones (NOT going into baby plants at this point- I have a brief window for focus, and it's closing fast by now), and I want to help them learn to have a safe and wonderful home.

They still looked a bit skeptical about where this was all heading.

We talked about staying together in one room at all times for a while, within eyesight of Mommy, much as we do when we are out and about. We talked about the importance of obedience and that Mommy is simply not going to ask them to do something that is against what is Right. Nor, for the record, is she purposfully going to bring a tomato worm into the house (have you seen those things? *gag!*) but we can plant tomatoes this year and if they find one, they can have it. Outside.

The rest of the day went quite well, including a trek to the County Courthouse (where you cannot take a cell phone or a camera, although that's not posted on the building, and you will be asked to trek back the two blocks to the car to unload them before they will let you in, yes, even if it's below freezing, and no, they won't watch them for you, but yes, they will answer your curious children's gazillion questions about how all this stuff works- so, eh, I'm good with that), back to the S-s-s-suburban, back to the C-c-c-courthouse (where another security guard gave the first two a hard time for making us go back out in the cold for a phone), to the market, and finally home again to snuggle and read a bit.

I actually used the "outlast them" philosophy today, as described on the now-famous Tomato Staking website while we were at the market. The boys are generally outstanding in public, but at the end of an already long day, it's easy to lose focus. I was amazed at how much impact there is in simply saying, "Wow. Well, you know how to walk down an aisle with the basket, and that wasn't it. Let's back up and do it again, please." At first, you think you accidentally said it in Pig Latin, based on the blank looks you get. Then you smile and head back the way you just came, and they realize, wow, she's serious. So they re-do it. Properly. Cool.

It IS that easy. No yelling. No screaming. Simply convey the message that you know they know what's expected and y'all both know that wasn't what was expected. Pfft. How stinkin' simple is that? I, for one, was surprised. There was not another incident at the market.

Zorak had to work late. Then he didn't. Then he might. But he didn't. We weren't expecting him home until after bedtime, and it was a wonderful surprise to have him pop in the door at five! Doubly wonderful was that supper was simmering, the children were clean and happy, and he came home to a welcoming environment and fresh coffee. Sometimes fate is kind, no?

Enjoy your home on this cold night, and your family. Tuck them a little more tightly when they're sleeping, but when they're wide wake give them tons of lovin's and kiss those babies!
~Dy

PS- I'll post the house hunt posts separately so if you don't want to bother with them, they'll be easy to spot. Today's Realtor Rant is below. :-)