We left the house this morning at nine thirty and didn't see it again until three. The entire time was spent viewing homes. The boys are connoisseurs of back yards, that's for sure. Forget the house, what's out back?
We looked at four houses today. Two are do-able. One is exactly what I've had wild dreams about, but we won't know until next week what the owner wants for it (he's waiting on a recent appraisal). The fourth was not just no, but, yeah, you get the picture.
I'd like to share a few observations from today's adventure:
If you have to burn that much incense and that many cheap scented candles to try to cover the smell of pot... I don't want your house.
If you cannot see the water heater for all the clothes you have piled in there, it's time to declutter. (And you lose extra points if there's a measurable layer of dust on the clothing thrown in there!)
Yes, we can tell that you added that part on yourself. Lovely.
Black tar is not an aestethically pleasing means of patching holes in cream colored vinyl siding. It looks like a gastronomically deranged pterodactyl has straifed the side of your home. Don't do that.
"New Carpet" is not a selling point. We know you're charging a whole lot of extra money for the cheap carpet that we're just going to have to pull up anyway. $2.80 per square foot, installed, does not justify tacking on an additional $15 per square foot to the price of your 800 square foot home.
Um, that's not a "rambler", it's a trailer. There is a difference. If you dig, you will find wheels down there somewhere. Not that we mind, but let's just all be honest, shall we?
Numerous non-functioning vehicles: they don't add to curb appeal. At least let us know if you'll be removing them or if they're part of the landscaping.
When you're six and four and one, it's all about the yard, Baby!
So, on that note, I'm installing a new printer, praying for a pessimistic appraiser, and trying to figure out how a woman is supposed to look for a home without getting "emotionally involved".... (??)
Kiss those babies!
~Dy
10 comments:
I remember house hunting 8 years ago. I looked at flyers for more than 700 houses, and actually looked AT more than 200 houses. My son was 1. It was a real drill--we would go into the house and the real estate agent would take my boy and they would go "count the potties". This left me free to tear through the house and check it for what I wanted. I loved that agent. When we moved into this house, my son had turned 2. He walked around the house and found the potties, and came up to me and said, "We have THREE potties!! How can that BE?" We still quote that one.
I have 2 observations I still remember:
If I will feel no guilt leaving this fully loaded diaper behind in your empty house, you have a bigger problem than the one I am leaving behind.
"New carpet" that is electric blue does not count as anything in your favor. And the 45 shades of bright red fingernail polish on the bathroom counter are ... mighty impressive.
Good luck. The first house we bought out here we were in for 15 minutes and it was the only house we looked at when we signed the papers. The second one was this one--and a lot more work. But worth it.
I love your funny house hunting blogs!
We went in a house once and they had just finished cooking some gross smelling meat and I could not look at the house with any objectivity...besides the fact that the carpet was dirty.
Icky.
My fingers are crossed :o)
Once, when house hunting, we were on our way upstairs to the bedrooms with our agent, when the owner came bounding up the stairs behind us. He seemed anxious to get into the master bedroom before we did. I thought it was because the walk-in closet had a three foot deep pile of laundry in it. But, no. The owner went and positioned himself against the wall in order to block the view of snap shots of HE AND HIS NAKED WIFE which were affixed on the wall with thumb tacks. Our realtor said that in 25 years he'd never seen that happen
It's impossible not to get attached, but I have to confess that even into adulthood, I'm still all about the yard.
*wiping tears from eyes* You rock! And so appropriate, with us just having shown our house for 3 months, and AK will be looking about 15 houses a day in PA next week.
Yeah, Patty. What IS it with blue carpet? Fully 50% of the houses in PA have blue carpet. We've seen the avacado appliances. We've seen the red, black and white-lace Guns 'n Roses motif. But never blue carpet.
According to 206_ Ways to Not Lose Your Shirt (and Pants) to Your Dream Home_ you can get as emotionally involved as you want PROVIDED that you leave yourself a plan B. If you have no plan B, then you have no way out and you will back yourself into a mental corner impossible to negotiate your way out of. You might as well hand the seller your wallet.
AND you can get as emotionally involved as you want, with your plan B in place, but NEVER EVER let your agent know when you have found your dream house. Always make it clear when making an offer that you have three other houses you want to see just in case. Go home and throw yourself prostrate on the floor and pray to God that they accept the offer -- but never let on to your agent that you HAVE to have THAT house. Even if you have a buyer's agent contract -- the agent is never fully working for you. Without a buyer's agent contract, the agent has a LEGAL responsibility to the SELLER and pretty much has to tell the seller's agent everything he knows about you including what you're pre-approved for, what s/he thinks you're willing to spend, and just exactly how much you want that house.
Now. Remind me of all this the last weekend of this month.
Alaska
Not really anonymous just can't figure this out unlike PuppDaddy who did figure it out. This is Nerni. Yeah....this house we are in is slowly becoming our dream house. 2 and 1/2 acres in a nice area of Southern California was a dream for us and well it did finaly happen. But not without a cost. Oh...no..not money cost, though we did choke when on the first day it was on the market there were 5, yes 5, over the asking price offers. No the price we understood, it was the erm...ummm...nursing baby poop mustard color of the walls and the ever so lovely cat pee ordor throughout the carpeted areas. "Come in a have a cup of dirt with that please." The place was in need of some...LUV! We have been busy and are slowly making it our home for forever.
Oh...how did we get the house with that many offers? Well, a little bit of manipulation never hurt anybody. (She says with a snarky grin.) We had the boys, age 5 and 7 at the time, write letters to the seller. The seller had raised her boys here for 17 years. They told her all about how wonderful it would be to grow up here. Yep.... a tear or two gets them every time. The boys meant it of course, but hey every little bit helped, we certainly had no more actual money to throw into the pot. Puleeez!
Sleep tight!
Nerni
"If you have to burn that much incense and that many cheap scented candles to try to cover the smell of pot... I don't want your house."
This is the best comment of all. SO funny!! I sure hope you find your dream home and there are not wheels buried underneath it!
:-)
Kate
Last year in the New Yorker's Spring Comedy Issue, David Sedaris had a wickedly funny piece called "Possession," about his desperate search for the perfect apartment.
About touring the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam Sedaris writes, "...on seeing the crowd gathered at the front door I did not think Ticket Line but Open House!Later after entering the secret annex he comments that, "In plays and movies, it always appears drab and old-ladyish, but open the curtains and the first words that come to mind are not, 'I still believe all people are good at heart' but 'Who do I have to knock off in order to get this apartment?'"
Virtually holding my breath for you...
Wow! All these comments really bring back memories of last year's house-hunting adventure. We, like Patty, looked at hundreds of houses (online) and visited over 200 homes personally. All y'all talking about blue carpet reminds me of the blue bath fixtures we saw. I had never in my life seen a bath tub, sink or toilet in any other color but white before this. One house we made an offer on had blue shag carpet, and a blue tub and sink. Another one had a blue toilet. I thought they were really kind of pretty (I really love blue), but dh said they made him feel barfy. Our current dream house (1943 Cape Cod farmhouse) has a *PINK* sink, tub, and toilet. Pink- who ever heard of a PINK toilet!!! I have decided to embrace it, and amongst all the paint chips we are searching through right now for spring painting projects, is a lovely light shade of pink, that I think will do our bathroom fixtures real proud. Dh feels even barfier about pink paint and pink tubs than he did about blue ones, lol.
And for the record, we bought this house because of the back yard- this 1/2 acre was the biggest lot we could find- when we were looking, I told the real estate agent to think of my son as a pony- he needed as much acreage as possible- it *is* all about the back yard!!
Best of luck, I hope you find your dream house soon, cuz everyone should love their house as much as I love this one- pink potty and all. ;-)
LB
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