Well, it's over. I didn't give anybody a heart attack and was on my best behavior. Oh, no, wait, I think I made some nice lady cry. But it wasn't intentional. She's just had a baby and she's all weepy already, so it's not like it took much to just plunk her right over the edge. SO, aside from making hormonal women cry, I didn't make any cracks about church history, and I was very, erm, upfront on the rest of the stuff.
One of the things the Session guys asked for was my "Testimony". Now, I'll be honest, that word makes me twitchy. For 20 years, my "testimony" was static: "I asked the Lord into my heart in Mrs. Herashap's K-5 class." Short, sweet, and theologically WAYYYYY off base. But who knew?
Fast forward to a few years back and the dawning understanding that our testimony is fluid. It changes as we change, it gets added to and made more intricate (or at least more interesting) with every passing year. I realized that Jesus has been with me this whole time. Yes, when my sister died; when my father(s) died (pick one, there were several, all passed away); when tragedy has struck us and when we've run headlong into tragedy of our own making. God was with me when we lost this baby, and yes, even twelve years ago when I wasn't walking anywhere near God's path (you just can't get a good tequila there, ya know) and the days I spent walking the earth (you know, like Cain, only I hadn't killed anybody and didn't have a tattoo).
Those experiences, from the ones of my youth over which I had no say, to the ones of my boy-I-wish-I-could-claim-that-was-my-youth, have all been used to allow me to serve God in later days, current days, and probably (hopefully) will continue to do so for the future. There was no one specific time that Christ suddenly started "looking out for me as one of His flock". There has been a flowing, continuous relationship there, beginning with when I was formed, increasing in depth and awareness of, or willingness to admit to, His reign over my life, and my (swallow hard, now) submission to His will. (Does anyone remember when I realized I had to stop praying, "God send us to Idaho!" and start praying, "God, send us where you need us to be... and make me OK with it!").
But not at any one point can I say I had it together enough to look around me and say, "Oh, no, this is far too decadent and pleasurable. Let's try for a more stoic approach to living." Nah. Didn't happen. Wouldn't happen on my own, and yet here we are- not only doing what we're called to do, but finding joy in it! Praise the Lord!! (and, ya know, I just can't say that w/o singing in a small, wee voice, "hallelujah!", but that's probably just me...)
But what kind of a testimony is that? As I opened my mouth to speak, I could just see the music guy passing out and the associate pastor slipping under the table out of embarrassment. But surprisingly, no. Nobody even got the vapors or needed a glass of water. *whew* I'm still not 100% certain what a certified "Testimony" is, and I won't ever have a "The Day I Got Saved" card in my wallet, but evidently I didn't completely blow it. Nobody yelled, "She's an armenianist spy! Get her!"
So, uh, well, we're members now. We're accountable, and we're pretty happy. Although John was mad that I hadn't taken him with me and said that he "would have enjoyed the long, boring meeting. Honest."
Kiss those babies!
~Dy
4 comments:
Wow, and I thought that months of RCIA classes were tough. I'll take those any time! Glad you made it in without upsetting more than one person. :-0
Wow! So glad I read your blog! Todd & I are thinking of becoming members of a new church, very different from the one I grew up in. Part of the membership process is at least one member of the family has to give their testimony. Since Todd is fairly new to Christianity the "burden" naturally falls on me. I have the exact same feelings about "testimonies" and was not quite sure what to say in front of this church, full of new faces. I feel much more at ease now. Todd & I still have to take the "classes" and go through the "process" but when my day comes to stand and speak you can bet I will have re-read this blog the night before!! :) And on an aside, bring your boys back to Fredericksburg sometime so Quentin & Walker can play with them!!Cheers, Emily
I can't tell you how much it meant to me to come to a fluid understanding of "testimony" and "conversion". I spent a lot of my life worrying because I couldn't name the date and time that ****I**** chose Christ. From my childhood, Christ had always been with me, and I with him. This wasn't good enough for a lot of people, though, and the issue was often "forced".
As I grew older though, I came to understand the "fluidity" of this conversion, and in a conversation with at Roman Catholic friend, found that the RC definition is actual about "process", and the more I have read about Reformed theology, this is the way it is presented.
It has been interesting to me now to have conversations with people who love my son very much but are of the "point in time" conversion understanding. "Is he saved? Has he prayed The Prayer?" I don't yet have my "smooth" answer in this situation, but I know that it is going to be different than the one I had to think up for myself at his age.
You are one funny lady, do you know that?
I guess I'm walking closer to the tequila path myself ;-) Congrats on getting through the Inquisition (I shared your red robes comment on the previous post with Jeff) and finding a church home.
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