Sunday, June 10

Oh, my.

The Very Cool Older Cousin mentioned in the previous post (we'll call her T) brought her boyfriend (we'll call him P) up to the City of Rocks with us. The kids loved him. The adults loved him. In fact, we jokingly told T that even if she didn't keep him, we would. She (jokingly, we hope) said that now that he'd been introduced to the Libertarian Hillbilly contingent of the family, we'll just have to see if he takes off running.

She mentioned that he's said that he'd like ten (I think it was ten) children, but would be happy with six, so, of course, never one to let a potentially awkward moment go by, we lined them up with five of the six cousins in attendance (we thought there were all six, but I can't find that last one in the photograph) and got a group photo. Sort of a time-lapse "this could be your life".

Two children...

five children...

He didn't flinch.

As a matter of fact, take a look at how he's looking at her there in the photo on the bottom left -- the one with all the children.

 


So really, is it any surprise that this weekend, when he brought her supper from Nopalito's (a sign of true affection and care in our clan), he also brought her a ring?

And that she accepted?

And we are so very glad at this news.

It's a big world out there, and they're about to embark on an incredible journey together. Is there anything you'd love to have known when you started out? Would you all help us celebrate by sharing the wisdom about marriage and life together that you've garnered over the years? Either leave your thoughts in the comments section, or blog about it and leave us a link. If you'll be so kind to do this, I'd love to print it out and share it with them: a guidebook for the scenic route, if you will.

Personally, I hope they have many babies for us to be kissing for years to come! ;-)

But tonight, let's kiss those spouses, and the babies, and take a moment to savor this wonderful life we have, and all it's taken to get here.
~Dy
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12 comments:

LS said...

Congratulations!! What I think about the most when I think about who we were when we got married and who we are now . . . I thought I loved him then (and I did), but what I've been amazed at is how much that love actually grows. My love is so much deeper and more meaningful now and only continues to grow.

When we were engaged he sent me a card that said, "I love you more and more each day. Today already feels like the day after tomorrow."

Best wishes!

Laura

Kathy Jo DeVore said...

Congrats!

Anonymous said...

The hardest part to overcome isn't the money fights, the kid fights, the niggling little annoying habbits, or even the knock-down drag-out fights-over-in-laws. No, the thing you really have to worry about is the boredom. It's hard to imagine when you're all giddy and goose-pimpled that you'll ever get bored, but trust me, you will. Really, really bored.

So bored that you will eventually so not be impressed with his eyes or his hands anymore. So bored that those cute sounds he used to make in the morning will become more of a niggling annoying little habit. So bored that you won't *care* how bad he wanted that computer game, you just wish he hadn't spent the money! So bored that you're no longer willing to put up with his *#%$*! parents (your oh-so-beloved in-laws) just to make him happy. Boredom is the root of all political fights. He used to be fascinatingly free-thinking. Now his thoughts are just dull and uninspired (and wrong).

So be on your guard against boredome. Do fun things. Your kids will not bore you, so do not allow your world to revolve around them. Focus on the person who has the power to bore you, and do enough interesting things with them that boredom will find your hearts rather inhospitable. Read books on how to keep your marriage bed fun. Go to marriage conferences geared towards reducing boredom and rediscovering unboring things about each other. And most of all, read the bible together, because it's the most un-boring thing there is, and it's full of anti-boredom advice for marriage.

Patty in WA or Rover said...

Stay married. It just gets better with time. And you will never regret the children you have...you might miss the ones you don't. Usually you start to miss them when it is past time to have them. And go to church. Love God.

Bridget said...

Always put God first and anything worth having is worth fighting for. Never throw in the towel, God brings us together for a reason. Always say "I love you" before you go to bed, even if you're mad. Make your spouse your best friend. Rusty is my best friend and we do almost everything together. He so gets on my nerves sometimes but I don't know what I would do without him. Just love each other.

Needleroozer said...

Yup. Stick it out. THere will be times when you don't feel the love, and that is ok, and is par for the couse. Don't make it mean you have to leave.
Also- give up being right. It is so not worth it to be right and alone!

And finally: Accept your mate for what they are and what they aren't. No one is perfect, and that just makes life more interesting!

my5wolfcubs said...

Amor est vitae essentia -- Love is the essence of life! Having been married almost 14 years, I think this sums it up! Houses, cars, clothes, jobs, tvs, collections, computers -- at the end of the day, it is all just stuff. The essence of your life will be your love. Keep it strong, keep it bright, keep it first.
Richest blessings!
Lee

Melora said...

Best wishes to the lovely couple! His expression seems to me to say "I like the way this girl looks with all these kids," and that is a very good sign.

You've collected lots of good advice! I particularly like the ones about having lots of kids because you will probably only really regret the ones you don't have (I wish we had a couple more!), about not always needing to be right (even when you really Are right!), and about remembering that there are no perfect people (anyone you pick will be irritating sometimes). Finding ways to laugh together is a biggie. And regularly expressing appreciation for the kind things your spouse does (like setting your coffee cup out in the morning, with just the right amount of milk and equal in it).

I think there is a lot to be said for sheer pigheaded perserverence. I've heard that some marriages are pretty idyllic, but I think most go through some patches where the only thing keeping the couple together is the Determination that they will make it work. And then they get through the patches and get to celebrate those big number anniversaries!

Also, never tell your spouse (or future spouse) that you really like doing something that you really Don't like doing. Unless you plan to maintain the pretense for a long time.

Staci Eastin said...

Stay in church.

And a couple of things I wish I had known then:

Just because the bank will LEND you all that money, does not mean you can really afford that mortgage.

If the wife works when you get married, live on the husbands income and save all the wife's income. I so wish we had done that way back when.

Jules said...

These are good! I especially like Melora's comment about sometimes the only thing keeping the marriage going is the determination from both sides to keep it going.

I posted my own "advice" on my blog.
I hope it is helpful! ;)

Emily (Laundry and Lullabies) said...

Oh congratulations! They look like happy people, and how cute to have a picture with all the kids!

My advice: have children. But don't forget, in all the overload of parenting the children, that you married EACH OTHER. Because you fell in love. And you're still the people you fell in love with, only hopefully more holy as life goes on! So act like you're married to each other, and kiss your husband at least as much as you kiss the babies.

Also, find a good church and put down roots there. A church family is a blessing that gives, and gives, and gives (and part of the giving is that it gives YOU a place to give, too.)

Blessings to the happy couple! May they have a wonderful, joyful, full marriage!

J-Lynn said...

Wow, congratulations to them both!!!!

I don't have time to read the other comments but the best piece of advice I can dole out is a quote:

"Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…" ~ Charles Swindoll

I thought love was princesses and horses and happily ever after fairy tales. It fades, it grows stronger, sometimes I want to run away and other times I want to freeze the moments I'm in his arms forever. Love is not just a feeling, it's a choice. If you both remember that and honor it you will have a very full life together. Looking back there is this beautiful tapestry of our lives...

Hugs and congrats to you both again!