Thursday, December 21

John's Eyes

I love John's eyes. They are beautiful, and they remind me of Zorak's. Deep, rich worlds echo through time in them.
They make me feel centered. They make me want to take off in flight. They are magical.

And they are the source of a lot of my motherly fears.

When John was about seven months old, he was sitting happily in his bouncy seat while I cleaned our little apartment. James had a rag and was helping me "dust". He was only two at the time. We were singing and having a fine time of it.

The dryer stopped. I took the load of clothes out of the dryer and into our room. No sooner had the clothes hit the bed, then I heard John crying. I ran out (it was a very small apartment - maybe 600'sq. - so none of this took much time at all). He was sitting there, his head was wet, and James was trying to comfort him. I smelled him.

Oh. My. God. Chemicals.

I'm ashamed to admit it now, but I freaked. James showed me what he'd used (Formula 409 - it was on the breakfast bar. I had no idea he could reach things on the breakfast bar.) He thought it would be nice to clean the baby. I snatched up John Baby, grabbed the phone, and ran into the bathroom, where, if he could remember the incident, he'd swear I proceeded to try to drown him under the sink faucet. (I was actually trying to rinse his eyes, but things were a bit hairy.)

Called poison control. They said, "Keep rinsing, but call an ambulance NOW." I kept rinsing. I called 911. They came right away. Looked at him, checked the bottle. They recommended he go to the hospital for a thorough eye wash. They called Poison Control, who also recommended a trip to the ER for a thorough eye wash. The ambulance couldn't take me and James, and I had nobody to watch James. The EMT's said they would call it in, and we could drive him ourselves. They called from the house.

We took off. When we got to the ER, they wouldn't see us. They wouldn't even take him into triage for an hour. He wasn't crying, so the nurses wouldn't listen to me. They called Poison Control, who once again recommended an eye wash. They triaged us, and told me to take him home. Said they wouldn't see him. I refused to leave. I asked for a supervisor or the charge nurse. She came out. She'd been briefed. She told me to go home and let him get some rest.

A waitress came in from work. She had a cold. They took her back. They told me again to go home.

Finally, after three hours of waiting, I started yelling. I threatened to call the police, the DA, the newspaper. They put us in the back. We waited another hour.

When the doctor on the floor finally arrived, he got on me about nursing a seven month old. He refused to do an eye wash. He called Poison Control, who stuck by its recommendation for an eye wash. He offered to write a prescription for something (I don't even remember what now, but it had no bearing on John's eyes), and told me to start feeding that child solids. I refused to leave. I told him I would not leave until he either did an eye wash or proved to me that it wasn't needed.

Fine. He agreed to do a litmus test.

pH in this baby's eyes was 11.5.

The doctor ordered an eye wash - immediately - "The large bag."

He sent me a nursing student who'd never done an eye wash before. She panicked and said she didn't know how to do it.

I hooked it up.

I rinsed his eyes.

I cleaned him up.

If we'd listened to the staff, my son's eyes would have liquefied during the night and he would be blind today. As it is, there's no telling what kind of damage was done in the four hours they made us wait, and refused to listen. We've been told the damage could come over the years. He has until four years after his 18th birthday to attempt any recourse, but of course the hospital has covered their collective butts rather well.

They never apologized.

Their records show that treatment was received. End of story.

Aren't they the heroes?

They turned us over to collections for my refusal to pay for this dog and pony show.

We had to pay them off when we bought our Forever Home.

I hate them to this day. Yavapai Regional Medical Center in Prescott, Arizona has killed - outright, through sheer incompetence and arrogance - more people than I could name in one post, and although the damage they did that day is nominal compared to the end result of many of their actions, it's the one that's lodged in my memory as one of the worst days of my life.

And it's the one that makes John's eyes so very precious to me, and makes me so very scared when something, even something small, happens to them.



Kiss those babies.
~Dy

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

This brought tears to my eyes, Dy. How precious that dear boy is. Hold him close, whisper sweet I love you's in his ear, and no that no one on earth has the instincts of a mother. Good for you for demanding care.
Hope you guys have a very Merry Christmas.
love, dawn

Bob and Claire said...

That is such a scary story. Unbelievable. I am so glad you stood your ground. Wow, I'm in shock, and I can't believe the place hasn't been closed down by now with such incompetance. Well, I guess I can believe it's still open--but it shouldn't be!!!

G. said...

That is a horrible, horrible story. I'm sorry this happened to you guys and I hope nothing serious every comes of this.

Anonymous said...

I also felt like I could cry after reading this. What a horrible experience! I hate that doctors and nurses sometimes think they are smarter than the rest of us and treat us as such. What a brave soul for not letting them intimidate you!!

I love those brown eyes. My Jeremy has them too- amidst a sea of blue-eyed siblings. Someone once said he has "eyes that could melt butter". SO true! Funny thing is- Derick and I both have green eyes so Jeremy is like a little burst in the genetic theory bubble. ;)

Anonymous said...

Your story is making me cry. I'm so glad that John has you for his mom and that you didn't back down even when the "experts" had spoken.

I will pray about John's eyes.

Amber said...

Wow, just wow. It is amazing how horrid people can be when they decide they are right and know it all, no matter what. What a story!

He does have beautiful eyes - seeing that last picture after reading your story brought tears to my eyes! I hope he's feeling better soon.

Anonymous said...

Oh. My. Gosh. My stomach is all over knots after reading this. How completely horrible. I'm so impressed with you for standing your ground and insisting on it, even with everyone's refusals to listen. Holy cow.

mere said...

Oh, how awful. I am so glad that were his advocate, and would not back down. Stupid hospital. I would say I hope they close down, but I am sure that would leave a lot of people with out SOME kind of care, so I'll just say I hope they clean up their act. Wow.

Anonymous said...

I am so, so sorry that happened to you guys. I'm not surprised, but I'm sorry. And very, very glad you didn't leave, that you stood your ground, and that you did what none of those "professionals" would.

Thank you for sharing.

Marla said...

Dy,

Thank God you didn't leave that hospital until his eyes were washed. How terrible that YOU had to do it! I cannot imagine.
I'm glad you wrote about this though, because having a baby in the house again means I have to be very vigilant. Clara chewed her way through a dishwasher tablet (which is toxic and I didn't know it till afterwards). She only had a taste of it, not enough to hurt her, but oh, how scary it is when these things happen. Thank you for reminding all of us as mothers to take charge of our own health care and to insist that we be given the care that we need. Especially when it concerns our children!

Anonymous said...

Oh Dy, what a horror story. I would never have guessed that 409 could have such terrible effects. You were amazing to stand up so firmly to the hospital staff -- thank goodness!! No wonder you worry so much about his poor, beautiful eyes.
Doctor after doctor told Ed that he was crazy and "had a low pain threshhold" while a big tumor was growing in his spinal cord, and then, when a doctor condescended to read one of the MRI reports, they finally said, "Oh, yeah, this tumor has grown so much that the damage is irreparable. But it isn't anyone's fault." Legally, I guess doctors are never wrong, but God help anyone who really believes that.
Thank you for telling us about this. I really didn't know how dangerous that stuff was!

Dy said...

You know, I have been accused of being "anti-doctor" on so many occasions. Usually by physicians, or their wives. People are angered that I insist I'm the one ultimately accountable, when it's the physician who could be hauled into court. People are offended that I view the doctor-patient relationship as a business arrangement, a contract, rather than a personal relationship.

I'm not anti-doctor, but I am the one who has to look these people, my children, my husband, in the eye and give them accountability for the decisions and actions I've allowed that directly affected them. And where I don't have the time or resources to attend medical school (or law school, or cooking school *grin*) I seek out those who have that knowledge to be a part of the consulting team. I hire them for their KSA's, not for their personal time.

But I still look back on this situation, and think that I should have stayed home and continued to rinse his eyes myself. I should have insisted that the ER staff bring in the EMT right away to bear witness that they, employed by the hospital, gave the order for the eye rinse. I look back and tear myself up that I wasn't MORE pro-active, didn't take a harder approach. And I'll tell ya, if, one day, he does develop problems from this, it's going to break my heart all over again because I didn't stop it from happening.

And I will never again relinquish my children's well-being to someone who doesn't have a vested interest in their care. Ever.

Anonymous said...

I hope and pray his eyes will be okay. You did a great job standin g your ground at that hospital. I probably would have trusted them, believed them and ruined my own child's eyesight. Unfortunately we all are not perfect and do make mistakes. I am so sorry your sweet John had to go through this. It is a shame that the hospital is so bad and irresponsible in its care of people. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/abiga51Blessings.

H said...

As George Carlin has said, "Somewhere in the world is the worst doctor." It appears, Dy, that you have found him.

I read this post and was so angry on your (and John's) behalf, that I couldn't even think of what to say. I still can't, really, except to let you know that we'll be praying for John's eyes.

I am impressed with what you *did* do, sonsidering the circumstances. Everyone in "authority" telling you one thing, and you fighting for another. That Dr. could have easily reported you to CPS, deeming you mentally unstable, or whatever, and yet you stood your ground and fought for John's eyes. I know it seems like you didn't do enough, but I'm so proud of what you *did* do.

Just a side note: When I was 6, my 4 year old brother and I were playing hide-and-seek. I hid in my parents' walk-in closet. When he entered the dark closet I sprayed him (and sprayed him GOOD) with Sure aerosol deodorant spray. Directly in the eyes. What followed sounds a lot lot what you endured (without the idiot doctor): eye rinses, poison control, ER visit, etc. 30 years later my brother is fine. He doesn't even wear glasses.

Blessings,
Hillary