Hmmm. Not sure what to post tonight. Anything that comes to mind seems a bit anti-climactic. Come to think of it, that's rather nice! Doesn't make for a stunning blog entry, but it's a very good feeling.
The boys did not go to swim class on Thursday. Zorak was sick. I was still sick. The boys are not enjoying this class at all. While their skills at the pool during the day are improving, their anxiety at class has continued to increase. There have been a few incidents with the instructor thus far that have raised our Spider Sense - nothing we can specifically put our fingers on, so we have noted it, but have not pursued it. However, when Zorak got home Thursday afternoon and the boys danced around him in the living room singing, "We're not going to swiiiiim class! We're not going to swiiiiiim class!" Um, I didn't feel too bad about skipping it. Honestly, they're doing fine without it. The daily swim has done more than the lessons have, and in some ways has undone some of the damage we've seen from the lessons. Tonight, we took them to the pool and they had a wonderful time. James swam in the five foot end of the pool. He was so proud of himself, and the first thing he said when his head popped above the water? "Wow! That's really fun!" John is swimming under water now for 10-15 feet at a time, and he's so proud of himself. He is still terrified to jump into the water, and the mere mention of "the four foot part" makes him tremble, but that's not bad. I'm glad we'll have another month here to take advantage of the pool access before we head "Home".
Zorak's health has improved drastically since his Tuesday coma. He still has a bit of crud, but he's up and mobile; quite functional in all. I am still a basket case, and am hoping to garner a few hours' extra rest this weekend. If I can keep down three consecutive meals, I'm going to consider it a great weekend.
Tonight I felt the first quickening of the baby. What a grounding, focusing sensation amidst all the chaos! I'm so thankful.
Most of all, I am anxious to get our groove. We want to have lessons daily and attend services regularly. We look forward to focusing on the real details of the day (the boys) rather than the peripheral details of the incidental projects (home). Until the last two months, we had done so well at keeping the focus. Four years at the University, doing the Student Family Thing; three months in utter limbo after graduation; four months in our little cinder block shack on campus while Zorak started grad school that fall; a year and a half in limbo in Maryland; through it all we managed to make the time and memories permanent for the boys, to keep them in focus. The past two months, however, I've lost my grip on that. The boys have felt it, and they don't like the Alice-falling-down-the-rabbit-hole sensation it's produced in our home. Zorak hasn't said anything, but I'm sure the added instability brought on by my lack of coping skills hasn't helped him make the adjustments he's had to make since we've been here. It's time to stop making excuses, take a deep breath, and get a better grip. Things probably will never be "calm". They will hopefully never be terribly predictable, and our "normal" may never be what others consider "normal". But they will be good. They are good. And that is the place to grab on and hold on tight. Time to re-grip and get back in the groove.
Kiss those babies!
~Dy
5 comments:
Dy,
I so often felt this way in my first half of pregnancy - and you've had moving/house hunting/etc etc added. It's good to regroup to those big priorities as soon as possible, but grace is YOURS!!! Don't forget.
May your icky sicky-ness be over NOW. Go away Bad Crud.
Take care, and happy focusing on the good stuff.
~Diane
Hey. Listen? Do ya hear that? That's probably the sound of a long, deep breath. Or maybe the sound of wagon wheels creaking forward? Feels good doesn't it? Forward motion!!! Woo-Hoo!!!! Congratulations! You my friend, have now begun the "next chapter".It'll be great. And we can't wait to come and visit the happiest house in the whole state of Alabama!!!
Hey Dy - so glad you're able to focus and have things calm a bit. :-)
The reason I won't pay for swimming lessons for mine is the very thing you stated. THey learn MORE just swimming more often. Kind of like me painfully trying to teach them how to "pump" on the swings and when we got our own swingset they were doing it within a week, with no instruction. ;-)
Lessons will be good for fine tuning things and getting more specific later (ie: diving). But I think they are doing GREAT on their own. :-)
Hugs - have a wonderful day today - you guys are going to have a GREAT year...
So nice to feel the baby!! I so remember the feeling of "Hey there really IS something in there!" What a wonderful sensation!! We are so happy for you!
Yesterday was W's birthday and I thought more than once, I wish Dy's boys could be here.
Have fun with your exciting new chapter in life! What wonderful things He must have in store for you! You have ALL earned it :)
~Em
We went thru a progression with swimming lessons with our kids -- one week of private lessons in a private pool, 4 weeks of public lessons in a school pool, or a family season pass to the public pool -- all for the same price! One year we did the private lesson thing, the next year we did the public lessons -- including my daughter rescuing her brother when the instructor didn't see him jump into the deep end! After that, we decided we could keep a better watch over them ourselves (even though I don't swim!) and my husband taught them swimming and diving just by taking them to the public pool after work at night. It's the steady practice that succeeds, not the little bits of instruction in a large peer group.
(Congrats on the house!!! Now that we've moved our son to college, I can back up and read your last few posts to catch up!)
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