Zorak knew, on a subconscious level, that this week wouldn't go well. He mentioned on the way back (long before the tranny sputtered out) that in the movies, when the main characters escape, but have to go back over the wall - for papers, or to rescue someone else, or to finish the job - it never goes well. Never.
Don't run. Don't panic. Try to look nonchalant. That's our only hope. If they see you running for the bridge, they'll loose the dogs on you. So just. act. normal. Smile at the guard and keep going...
But something went horribly wrong. Somehow, I think *whisper* They know.
The Suburban is back. It has all the necessary gears, and a shimmy! And when you brake, it shutters. And the alignment is off quite badly (it pulls a hard left when you try to brake). Is there some kind of odd cosmic conspiracy going on? I'm serious... read on.
Our U-haul reservation had to be changed b/c there is a dearth of vans in Maryland. The one we were supposed to get never arrived. They said we could get one from Virginia, so we made arrangements to do that as a backup. The Virginia folks called us and said, "Oh, we are so strapped for vehicles. There isn't one anywhere in Northern Virginia. It may be 48 hours after your pick-up date before a truck is ready." There is no truck.
Zorak's good-bye luncheon is today, but it's at an Italian food restaurant and so we cannot go along. There's nothing wheat-free on the menu. I even called to see if they had desserts, thinking I could feed the boys before hand and then join them for dessert. But no. So I'm a little bummed that we won't be there, but not bummed enough to drag John over to a pizza joint and spend an hour telling him he can't have any. Ah, well. Gotta pick your hills to die on, right?
Carpet cleaning? No. Been calling places for two weeks and it seems that professional carpet cleaners here are doing so well that they no longer need to answer their phones or return phone calls. The Lease says we must have it "professionally cleaned" and provide a receipt. I wonder if I can get Wonderful Neighbor to do it with my machine - I'll pay her and get a receipt...
I'm just wondering how they could tell. Did I panic? Was there something in the way we walked that tipped them off? I know we'll get out, eventually, even if we have to swim the river, but I'm not Alcatraz-Tough, if you know what I mean. That water is cold!
Well, kiss those babies, and whatever you do, act cool!
~Dy
6 comments:
Where have all the U-Hauls gone? They're not down here, even though everyone and their mother is moving to Florida. It's not even National Moving Month yet; that's May.
You need to create a commotion, distract the guards. They'll discover your ruse just as the last of you is scaling the wall. It will be a narrow but victorious escape. Cue the soaring soundtrack music and watch the credits roll.
My strategy (and not one that AK endorses): Yelp your wall-crossing intentions with authority to all who would dare impede you! Charge the wall with a determination and vindication that borders insanity. Those who can't understand you will fear you and either way you're going to win.
I am so feeling your pain on the move. Thank you for reminding me why I should be happy we're where we are and not where we were. Just when I was getting a bad attitude.
U-Haul: They are the Yugo of moving companies, and as you've learned, no one wants your money for a one-way rental. Each little gas station and scrap yard "owns" their trucks for local rentals. U-Haul Corportate (read: NO ONE) owns the one-way trucks. They are not cared for or maintained and the little local guys don't get much $$ so they want nothing to do with them. Pay a little more and go Budget or Penske to save future pain & suffering when your 1973 tractor-motored U-Haul get's the Burban's tranny disease.
Who is Mistress? A BMW bike? I know those inside out. What are the symptoms?
What year 'Burban? I know a Honda guy who know's a GM guy. Maybe we can offer insight.
I worked with Service Managers for years as a Honda Service Rep. Chain Auto Repair places (Sears, AAMCO, Midas, etc. . .) have the worst Better Business Bureau records. Whenever 60 Minutes does expose's on auto mechanics, they know they'll get good footage at the local AAMCO. If you must, and it sounds like you must deal with this salesman, you have the right strategy: figure his MO and short-wire it. I know salespeople and specifically the type you've got there. Here's my prescription: YOU show up in person. Work yourself up on the way there, so you get that crazed Moving Mom one-straw-from-going-postal look in your eye. Clarify his most recent promises and demand they be kept, outlining the promises he didn't keep. Tell him you don't want mechanical excuses because you are not paying the mechanic or the widget company who is late shipping the hoopedoop -- you are paying HIM and expect HIM to not make promises he can't keep. I would also request that his supervisor be around for this to witness his promise, he can BS you but not his boss.
I'm sorry for going on. I just want to help and have some experience on both sides of your fences. Tell me to can it if necessary, really. I see that look in your eye and will heed your words :)
Nothing too insightful to add this a.m.- I am bleary-eyed and still dealing with crazy fever dreams from last night.
But I will tell you, that I tried the do-it-yourself and-then-pass-it-off-as-a -professional-job carpet cleaning thing, and it didn't work. I just could not get it as clean- even with 4 passes over the worst areas.
A clean freak friend and I also spent days cleaning and scrubbing, all in vain. We had sticklers for landlords, and got an itemized 3 page list that detailed exactly why we didn't get any of our deposit back. Hmmmph.
I feel for you, it will be over soon, I know you can make it.
Hugs and good thoughts all day,
LB
Dear, dear Dy,
After following the Puppdaddy/Alaska move and the Dy/Zorak escape attempt, I am so happy with my little house on the hill. I am so happy that we will never need to move. ever. again. EVER. It sounds so tiring, and I stand in awe of all the humor and energy and stamina.
Someday this will be funny. It will be what a friend and I call a "Campfire" story. The kind that you share as your kids snore in the tent, you are having a nice glass of wine, and everything sounds funny again. You'll make it. You may not be Alcatraz-tough, but you are some-kinda-tough.
For now, you have my prayers.
Take care,
Diane
Dy...DY!!
You don't sneak, you put on a hot pink 'Alias' style wig, thigh-high black go-go boots, and stomp back through the gate, snapping your gum, and nodding your head.
(The boots are to kick with if they *do* get ahold of you.)
I'm so sorry. Geez, if the moving vans are ALL tied up, do ya think that says something, LOL?!
Jill
I hope you have a good weekend, Dy! You sound tired out.
{{hugs}}
Post a Comment