Tuesday, August 7

This is a rush, man. Just wild.

This is why God gives me one child at a time. I don't do exponential increases well. I mean, we had a great day, but it was =fast (see the streaks? See how fast that was?) And it was loud. And it started with an earth shattering ka-boom. They all emerged in one large, hungry, talkative group this morning, wanting food and teaching and conversation. (I'll shoot you straight, camp cooks and counselors are now among my most revered heroes. Those people can face larger hoardes at six in the morning, and do it with a smile! Wow. Truly. Wow. Because it's scary when they all start moving toward you like that...)

So, we did Latin, math, and a little reading. Then, being out of fruit (all of it), milk (why don't we have a cow yet?), and creamer (seriously, how did I let *that* happen?), we called it good and headed to the store. Stores. Fruit, milk, creamer, yogurt. Man we really do need a cow. And then, oy vey, where was Charles when it was time to buy the football stuff? (Oh. Yeah. Heh. At work. That probably has a lot to do with why we could buy the football stuff.)

You know you didn't get the brightest employee in the store - the locally owned sporting goods store that caters to the local teams, and the very one everybody shops at - when the clerk asks what you need, you list four standard items... and she completely crumbles. Fell apart and looked at me like I wasn't even speaking English. Like we weren't the hundredth family to come in asking for exactly the same things: padded chin strap, good mouth guard, practice jersey, and socks? Seriously, I could see a path worn in the carpet that followed our exact journey from the mouth guards to the checkout. Evidently, it was worn there by the other employees. The ones who didn't look lost when their customers asked, "Are these the good mouth guards, or is there really a difference?" Or torqued when their customers paid with a debit card, causing the employee to get off the phone to dial the transaction in. *sigh* But we made it, and DangerGirl managed to not crack anybody in the head with the bat display. Yay us.

Then, Zorak vetoed most of the things we bought. I've been informed that James was the only kid on the field tonight in "a white jersey and black socks". This, it seems, is a huge factor. A huge factor for a group of boys running about in fishnet crop tops. Riiiight.

Well, I was told to get black socks. Coach said so. (My new excuse for anything I botch, for the record. I'll let ya know how long I can milk that one.) And they were out of black practice jerseys in James' size. The entire rest of the team, I guess, had purchased them all, with the help of the other clerks in the store. Oddly enough, he loves the practice shirt -- the one item I nearly didn't get. (You know, on that point, could NOBODY have warned me that they are holey and see-through, and... look like that? Seriously, I thought she was joking when she held that thing up. Like some kind of newbie hazing thing.)

We got the super whomperdine padded chin strap with small guard dogs, a proximity alarm system, and a GPS receiver. Zorak said it's something-something too something-or-other.

There also was some issue or concern with the mouth guard, but it eventually passed muster. For now. (Although I have been informed they have mint scented guards. You know, just FYI.) I did get snapped at during the molding process. If you haven't done it before, evidently you simply haven't got the right amount of empathetic encouragement to offer. Yes, that's right, I'm an unsympathetic meanie, and was told to GO. NOW. But it's molded, and Zorak and James have created a shared, (evidently rather painful) experience between them.

Then, James practiced. First practice in pads. One of the hottest days of the year, so far. It was pretty harsh. He told Zorak after practice, "You know, I'm just not sure I'm seeing a return on expending so much energy." (Ah, the beauty of genetics - that boy is all ours!) This is going to be a very interesting season, indeed.

Kiss those hot, sweaty babies!
~Dy

4 comments:

Melora said...

I love reading about shopping for sporting equipment, Dy, when you are doing the writing and am not faced with the immediate prospect of having to do any similar shopping myself! I would buy the wrong stuff too. Fortunately for me, T. declined our offer to sign up for football (and it was only Flag football), saying that it didn't sound like fun, and he might get Hurt.
I hope James enjoys football (practice in the summer sounds horrible to me, but I guess if you can stand that, you can stand just about anything!) now that you've bought all the stuff. I like his insight about the energy expended vs the gain. Smart boy.

melissa said...

Um. Our first practice starts tomorrow.I SO did NOT need to read this. I will be at the athletic store tomorrow...for the practice jersey. The new athletic cup that I picked up was hugely successful in bringing about howling laughter and jokes. Let's hope I got the right size and it does equally well protecting the boy's stuff. You KNOW that Race went to college on a FULL RIDE football scholarship, right? You KNOW he's not here right?? (sigh)

Rebel said...

LOL at "You know, I'm just not sure I'm seeing a return on expending so much energy." What a kid!

Emily said...

ROFL @ fishnet crop tops!!!