Well, I can't say it was from lack of trying. We prepared the oatmeal pancake batter from the Hillbilly Housewife on Saturday night. Laid out clothes for everyone. Got to bed at a decent hour, and set the alarm. We were all up, dressed, fed, and out the door bright and early. So far, so good! Zorak stayed home to battle the wiring he'd had to lay aside on Saturday to do brickwork.
Smidge fell asleep on the drive to church. (It was nine in the morning! Noooo!) And Emily screamed the last half hour of the drive. We got there in time for Sunday School, and the older boys were off and running! Yay. Emily was just coming off the indignation that comes from having to wait to eat. Smidge wanted nothing to do with the nursery, so I sat in the adult class with both of the little ones on my lap. (In hindsight, this should have been my clue to leave as soon as class ended, but I'm not too bright sometimes.)
Class let out and we enjoyed visiting during the break. Emily got passed around. One of our wonderful Titus2 ladies helped me get everybody herded to one table and kept the boys' cups filled. Alrighty, not bad... not bad... we're doing okay. As long as nobody has to pee, I think we'll be okay.
We headed into the sanctuary, me and my little trail of ducklings. The boys shot straight to the front of the church. I did have sense enough to sit on the side by the wall aisle so I could slip out if need be. And boy, did need be! After two hours of being awake and chipper, Emily came slowly, yet vociferously, unhinged. I tried nursing, but that wasn't it - this was gas, baby, and there was no stopping it. She's still at the "yell the gas out" stage (I'm so glad this disappears - could you imagine how awkward life would be if everyone did that?) So I gave the boys instructions to sit. quietly. and for the love of God, do not squirrel around. Took Smidge and Em to the nursery to change diapers and see if I could settle her down a bit.
Well, it's dawned on Smidge lately that he's not getting the Lap Time he's accustomed to having. And while he doesn't blame Em for that, he is certainly determined to get it back. So there was nothing doing on the nursery for him. Emily seemed quieter (and I had visions of the boys swinging from the banners in the sanctuary) so we headed back in. No sooner did I sit down that she starts squawking again! And now Smidge is talking - to the chairs, to his brothers, to Emily, to the pastor. Oy! And I'm smiling as I try to get everyone settled, but it's one of those tense, thin-lipped smiles that just screams, "Kill me now!"
Finally, Emily lets out the gas, along with a Braveheart-type war whoop and Smidge starts yelling, "Fart! Fart! HA HA HA HA!! You fart, Mama!" (This is genetically coded in him, blaming others for passing gas, and laughing heartily about it. It should serve him well in college, but for now, not so funny.)
That was it. The end of my fortitude. I'd like to say we quietly grabbed our things and slipped out, but you know it didn't go like that. Oh no. Poor James picked up my Bible by the case, which was open, and out fell the Bible and three year's worth of notes and bulletins. You could see the, 'oh, man' look on his face. Smidge started yelling, "Mess! Mess! OH NO!" Emily's croaking like a frog by this point because I'm stooped down picking up papers, and she's slipped into a hold that vaguely resembles the way Penny from The Rescuers carried Mr. Rufus, the orphanage cat. And John, who had somehow migrated three seats away from us, was completely absorbed in whatever pastor was saying. We couldn't get his attention to tell him we're leaving. Thankfully James hopped over and tapped him on the shoulder before I had to start throwing small pencils at his head.
We did get out. In one piece. And I hugged each of the boys as I hoisted them into the Suburban. I let them know that they were awesome and sweet and wonderful and that I appreciated them tremendously. (Well, the big ones, anyway - Smidge, I just loved on and snuggled. He needed it.) It wasn't their fault. I'm just horribly outnumbered and not up to speed. But boy, did I feel like a total failure.
So. Next week, we'll try again. With a new plan of attack. We'll sit in the far back, which isn't great for the boys, but then I can get up and walk Emily if she gets fussy. It won't disturb the others, and will also allow me to be near the boys. (She was sound asleep not two miles down the road, by the way.) I've got to get a new printer so I can print out some things to distract Smidge, and do up the little activity booklets I used to do for the boys. Um... can you all think of anything else that might help? The lady who works in the nursery on Sunday mornings is awesome, and I'd feel comfortable leaving Smidge in her care, but right now he doesn't remember her (it's been about six months since we've been to a Sunday service) and he feels pretty abandoned. We'll have to work into that.
This has to be doable. It just has to. But I haven't the foggiest idea how to pull it off. Anybody out there keep several small children in church with them, on their own? Zorak may come with us once in a while, when the house is finished, but right now it's just lil' ol' me and the kids.
And in the meantime, we have a wonderful week spread out ahead of us!
Kiss those babies!
~Dy
16 comments:
Wow! Ouch! I remember Sunday mornings that felt kind of like yours, but I only have two, so it wasn't really in the same league. Neither of mine ever wanted to stay in the nursery without a parent, so Ed and I alternated Sundays for several years. I would prefer to have my kids sit with me, but our church does Sunday School at the same time as the regular service, and Travis likes Sunday School (although it doesn't always like him!), and now Katie has decided she likes it too. Anyway, back to you! Any chance you have a child-loving friend who would like to sit with you during the service to help entertain the kids and watch the boys when you need to take Emily out? Other than that, my kids have enjoyed (briefly) coloring, and small gummy candies can help keep them quiet (again, briefly).
I know that some moms have posted on the WTM board about attending services with large families and having no problem extracting perfect behavior from their children, but I've always had the feeling that those were moms who were generally much stricter in expecting unquestioning obedience than is my style.
Cordially,
Melora
Oh Dy! I've been there! We have a bigger age spread than you, so we've had easy going for awhile. But now...Miss Eleanor is no longer a little mostly still lump in the lap and then there's Leo the Unstill.
So, it's been a workout lately. I am so grateful for my big girls, though; I always have someone to take Ellie if I have to tend to Leo.
He is allowed a couple religious books, sometimes I give him a stapled together book of pictures and a pencil. (No cway-dons in CHUCH, Mommy!) At least not since the coloring the missal while silly Mommy closed her eyes to pray incident ;) Too much "stuff" for him to do seems to make him more restless, though, so I don't bring too much. Now that he's a bit bigger, I'm emphasizing paying attention and participation a bit more than just being quiet and still. Slowly but surely he's getting it.
No new ideas for you, really, just empathy! You'll get back in the groove and the kids will, too.
Ohhhh brother, DO I KNOW HOW THIS IS!!!! I know what you're asking, but seriously, you should feel really good about getting everyone there by yourself! It's good, don't worry about it. You're doing the right thing here. Just don't be discouraged, and grab hold of the Sundays that DO go well, and trust that God will bless you and the boys for the others as well. You're doing GREAT!!!
Hilarious!!! Been there, sister!!
Lisa at
http://www.bloglines.com/blog/HopewellMomSchool
Dy, I agree with Melora, on finding someone to sit with you, perhaps a young lady in the church or a grandmotherly type. If I had to go to church by myself this is what I would do. If I then had to go to the nursery I would take my youngest boy (2 1/2) and leave my older two with instructions to count the number of times they heard God or Jesus during the sermon and report back to me with the total after the service (you could even make a tally sheet for them)...This forces them to listen. We tend to be pretty strict about church manners and they know what to expect if they act up.
Good for you for trying, and may God bless your efforts!
mere
For one year, our church had a service Bingo card. Make up a 5 x 5 grid with words likely to be heard during the service, like pray or Father of hymnal.
It keeps some kids attentive and other kids may not care at all. You know your kids better than I do.
Oh, I love you guys! Great ideas. I'll see who I can lure into the trap of sitting with us next week. And I really like the idea of counting words, or a word-find sort of thing. Thank you.
The older two are really wonderful. They were perfectly behaved even sitting alone in the pew for 10 minutes. BUT, they are seven and five, and without Jimminy Cricket (aka - me) there, it's easy to forget what you're supposed to be doing. :-S
mere, as I read your comment, my brain raced ahead of my eyes and I thought for a second you were suggesting I leave the adults in charge instructions to count the number of times (and this is where my brain took off and left my eyes behind) they had to thump the boys to get them to behave. Ah. It's a good thing I read all the way through!
Heidi, I wonder if we could (should?) teach the boys to say "Amen" rather than "Bingo" when they filled in their bingo cards?
Thank you - and keep 'em coming! I sure appreciate it.
Dy
Oh, I don't know, Dy, I think hearing someone yell, "Bingo!" during a particularly moving sermon might be perfect!
I think you're fine! It sounds normal for littles of that age! If it were me,I'd probably get out while the tiny people are still happy-that's my tip!Once they're three in my mind a bit more endurance is feasible for them. Marcella
Deja vu -- I had to scroll up to check the date on your post. I was SURE I have read this post before. It must have been another blog, more than a year ago. (Jess, maybe???) Identical details, though, right down to the dropped Bible with all the bulletins and the child who is in rapt attention and can't be distracted. At least, Dy, you know you're not alone!
I used to a "jigsaw" puzzle in my Bible for my little guy to do. I had him draw lines with all colors of markers across a sheet of paper, then he got to practice cutting the paper in the opposite direction from the lines. I put those strips in my Bible and when he'd get antsy, I'd pull them out for him to reassemble the "puzzle."
I absolutely LOVE that Bingo card idea! My son (same kid, now grown) did that exact thing for a particularly boring college prof! Dr. T's Mannerisms Bingo! It is STILL being whispered about in the hallways of that school, a year after he graduated!
You are such a good sport to even try taking all of the children by yourself!
I love the Bingo idea!
And the back row idea ;o)
I think I stayed home a lot during the baby years...
Next time has got to be better :o)
OK, now I'm laughing. Carolyn, this does sound like something that would have happened to Jess. I actually tried to call her on the way home from church because I just knew she'd understand and make me laugh. :-)
Lynne, the thought of the boys yelling out in the sermon reminds me of a comedian I heard a long time ago, talking about how one young man's grandma kept nudging him in the ribs when he fell asleep. The young man would get quite irate and yell every time, interrupting the preacher. He said, "Have you ever tried to find a reference for, 'And Jesus said... Old Lady! Stop touching me!' "
Gretchen, {{hugs}}. When they get as big as yours, I think it's easy to forget that they're still pretty fragile under their tough and semi-manly exterior. I know we forget that James is still little, and he's only 7! Don't be too hard on yourself, and try again today. It'll be okay. Really. {{hugs}}
Dy
I confess, it didn't work for me to have another person help with the twins when they were little. They would never, ever, ever go to anyone else. Max wasn't going to go anywhere either. So we tried to make it through Sacrament and every moment after that was a bonus. The sermon was piped in to the hallway, so we could listen there.
As time passed, I became dependent on sippy cups and food. Although we don't usually let the kids have grocery-store cereal because of the sugar load, I didn't have a problem with a half-cup of fruit loops in a bag for each kid if it meant I got to hear half the talks in Sacrament meeting. We cleaned up after ourselves when we left--every crumb. Although many church members DON'T let their kids eat in Sacrament meeting, noone ever gave the lady by herself with the three young boys one word of grief or one evil eye. If they thought anything it was that I was selfish for not "training" the boys to be more independent so that they could hold one of them.
What is it about Sundays that makes little ones go bonkers? Walker still refuses to go to his SS class which pretty much consists of play-dough and snack!
Now, this would not have worked for Q, but for Walker we feed him candy. LOTS.OF.CANDY. This keeps him happy and quiet. True, we may be paying for dental bills in the future but we pick and choose our battles, right?
And Melissa is right. Keep plugging away on Sundays. Every member of our church has seen Walker bang his head on the floor and sream "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!" when we try to soothe him. And hey, they still let us through the doors every Sunday :)
~Em
For the entire first year with one of my kids, I had to walk around with him behind the back row, or walk him around. Maybe you could do that right behind your other kids in the back row.
Any Christian woman who sees a sister with 4 children in tow and no husband along for the day (and has 2 or fewer children) should sit alongside that woman and help out -- not just for coffee time, but for the service as well! We have children's church for our kids, so if I saw you come sliding into a pew with yours, I would gladly slide right into the other side to help out! I hope someone was shamed just a little to watch you leave and will step up next week!!!
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