If You Pour the Pine-Sol IN the Coffee...

Is that a sign that you need more coffee, less coffee, or just a break from cleaning?

The sad thing is, I didn't realize what I'd done until I looked and realized the coffee was the wrong color! I just thought, "Wow, the house is smelling so nice and clean!"

Today the weather is gorgeous, windows are open, doors flung wide. The coffee is brewing, dishes washing, laundry spinning, boys playing (in the laundry) and it feels so very good to be home.

I've been thinking today about marriages, particularly in today's climate, and how very fortunate I am for the friends we have in our life. When we married, we included the "third vow" in our ceremony. Marriage can be difficult enough to navigate, and it was important to us that the people in our life knew that we needed and expected their support through the ups and downs. We wanted those in our life to support our union. This is something we've kept in mind as the years have passed, and while many of the people in our life today may not have been present to take the third vow with the guests at the wedding, they're the kind of folks who would have taken it -- and meant it.

Over the years, I have learned from these friends to be a better wife; more supportive, more understanding. That's helped me to be a happier wife, and person in general, as well. What a wonderful gift! I'm still far (far, far, faaarrrrrr) from perfect, and it's an ongoing process. The process isn't always easy. Sometimes it's hard to take a deep breath and say, "Let's do what you need to do," when what Zorak needs to do isn't necessarily what I wanted to do. But I'm learning, and it's getting easier.

Sometimes we make decisions that are truly terrifying and I'm scared to pieces, but we do it together and it works out well, and I'm learning to remember that the next time a scary decision comes upon us.

Some days it's difficult to smile when Zorak walks in the door at the end of a long day (for both of us) and the first thing out of my mouth is some request (er, demand) like, "Did you get creamer?" Gee, he may have spoken with other people and done other things since that small email in the wee hours of the morning...

Yes, I am learning to remember those things. I don't always get it right, but I want to, and I strive to. And when I forget, I have beautiful friends to give me a gentle reminder that he might have had a busy day, too, out slaying dragons so that I can stay home...

with the boys...

caring for our family...

being the Mama and doing the Mama stuff...

and he brings me creamer, not because he has to...

but because he loves me.

Ask any parent who has uttered a word in traffic that they'd rather not have their children repeat -- your children are listening and watching. They will see that we aren't perfect- there's no getting around that- but will they also see that we love and strive and work together? Is that what we're showing them? It is. Moreso each day. We hope they will be able to say, when they are grown and discussing their ideas about marriage, that they've seen how well it can work when you work together, stick together, and surround yourselves with people who value your union and the strength of marriage, and that they've seen it through us.

Thank you so much, my friends, and my Zorak. What an education we're all getting!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Get Comfy- I have creamer!

Yes, I'm back to my 1200 calorie per day addiction. I'm good with it and Zorak doesn't seem to care. I suppose it's better than bon bons, right?

*****
First things first:
I've noticed some new faces here on the front porch, and wanted to give you all a proper welcome! I'm glad you've come to visit. The coffee's always hot (and a kettle is always on for tea), and you're welcome to come and visit. I look forward to getting to know y'all more. As you've probably noticed, we're terribly informal here: kick your shoes off, grab a cup, and curl up on the porch swing. Share your favorite stories and join right in!

*****
Friends:
Our Wonderful Neighbor offered a lift to the market tonight if we needed to pick up anything. After thinking it over (hmmm, cleaned out the fridge completely before leaving for vacation, made one run to the market for eggs and milk when we pulled in, yup we're out of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g...), I took her up on the offer.

We had so much fun, just she, the Smidge and I! It's been a long time since grocery shopping wasn't an orchestrated event, timed for optimal blood sugar levels and nominal sleep deprivation in the wee ones. We laughed and joked. We perused! Man, I haven't perused in the market in years! I got out of there with twelve bags of groceries for $40, and it didn't feel like it took very long at all!

The boys will be thrilled to have fresh fruit with breakfast tomorrow, too.

*****
Hobbies:
Zorak has rediscovered an old hobby this week: he's carving. Earlier in the week, he carved a ball inside a hanging cage. He saw a picture once and figured it out from there. (I'm tellin' ya, I am RCA puppy! I have no clue how he can do that!) Tonight he's making a camel. It's beautiful.

He can also weld a truly beautiful bead and decorate the most delicate, ornate wedding cakes. He swears the two skills are connected and are linked directly to manual dexterity.

Whatever it is, I don't have it- I'm pretty much stuck with the blunt force hobbies such as cooking (ok, cooking the way *I* do it, but then I'm not known for my cooking), basic use of power tools, and the occasional (poorly played) round of racquetball.

*****
School:
Tomorrow is our Friday, as we use a four-day school week. It's been a great first week back, and we're having a lot of fun. We have a little tweaking to do. I need to encourage more activity in our routine. Not that I mind having children who sit still for lessons, but to be honest, I think they are just humoring me for some of it and I'd like to draw them into the lessons a bit. There's nothing etched in stone that says we can't compromise and find a blend that truly works well for all of us. Quite the opposite, actually. We're doing this our way so we can, well, do it our way! I just love that.

*****
That's about all for now. The guys at Aamco (which I cannot spell without saying the commercial in my head) have the tranny apart, but they don't know what they're going to do with it. I am praying we have it back by Friday, as we have an appointment with a lender on Friday. We'd kinda like to make that... I hope they figure it out soon!

I'm going to tidy up a bit and prepare for tomorrow. It's supposed to be a gorgeous day and around here, we nab 'em when they come! So we're schooling in the yard and taking some nature walks! Maybe we'll spend some time sketching, too, if the weather holds.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

The Daily Stuff

The Suburban is at the mechanics' now. They checked it out and sure enough, second gear is g-o-n-e. It's in pretty bad shape, and we were only a few days out from having a "drive in reverse only" vehicle. Again. So, fourth transmission coming up! I am SO thankful this one is under warranty! That $450 on the extended warranty was money well spent. Talk about opportunity cost!

This does, however, leave us with only The Mistress for getting around. Technically, only the Big People are now even remotely mobile. Zorak is the only driver in the house, since The Mistress and I haven't gotten to know one another yet. The boys aren't big enough that either of us would dare to plunk them on the back and trust that they'd hold on. *cringe* *shudder* Just the mere thought of what could happen makes me queasy.

I need creamer, and since it's cold out, I'm guessin' tonight's not the night.

Therefore, I'm drinking the coffee black, and while it does keep the headaches at bay, it does nothing for the mindset or the muse.

We had a great supper tonight. The boys helped make the split pea soup, then watched a video on the Humbolt Squid while the soup simmered. Something triggered The Giggles when we prayed, and from there it just built up and flowed right over. We joked and were just plain silly. Zorak made up his usual word-play riddles. The boys made up some of their own. They absolutely butchered their Latin and that made them explode in another fit of hysterical giggles.

Zorak and I couldn't have kept straight faces if we'd tried. The boys were laughing so hard. I thought John would asphyxiate and James had tears streaming down his face.

By bedtime, we were all exhausted. The boys passed right out during story time. Zorak took the Smidge upstairs over an hour ago and hasn't resurfaced, so I'm guessing he's out cold, too.

That leaves me, humming "So long, farewell..." to myself here in the living room. Eh, the children are tucked in, safe and warm. The house is recovering bit by bit. My muse is ignoring me. I believe I'll turn in, too.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

The Feel of Success

Today during Latin, the boys practiced their derivatives, sang Adeste Fidelis, and recited their prayers (The Sanctus and The Doxology). James usually hangs up on the fifth line of the Sanctus, and needs the quiet prodding of me whispering, "Benedictus" to get him going again.

Not today. Today he recited the whole thing without a stumble, without a hitch. It was beautifully done. I was so proud of him for sticking it out over the months, not giving up, not letting his attiude go sour. He did so well, and I thought I would burst.

But I didn't have the chance to congratulate him immediately. No sooner did he say the last "excelsis" than he leapt from his chair and spun around and around, leaping, jumping, mouth wide open, eyes sparkly but hidden behind high, happy cheeks.

"I did it! I did it and I didn't need any help! I did it all by myself!"

Way to go, Kiddo!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Slipping in just one quick blog!

Well, the rest of the day turned out so nicely. The boys opted to recreate the story of Theseus and the Minotaur before we moved on to the re-civilization of Greece. Smidge thought it was hilarious. I narrowly escaped being made to play the Minotaur. It was good stuff.

The evening brought a chill to the air, so clam chowder and homemade wheat-free hush puppies were the order of the day for supper. That hit the spot all around.

While Zorak and I fixed supper, the boys played upstairs. At one point, Zorak went up to check on them (playing happily, engrossed in pirate ships and gears). He asked John if his pirates are the ones that don't do anything. John said, "No, these are the pirates that do anything."

From around the corner, James piped up, "You mean they just go around randomly doing things?"

Zorak just about fell over laughing.

Life is good, isn't it?

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

The Weather Makes a Great Motivator!

For me, anyway. After a week of nothing but cold, cold, cold, today is simply, gloriously beautiful!

So, it's one o'clock in the afternoon and we're done. Considering we did not wake up until after nine (that was James and he was first -- we've all been battling some crud since leaving Prescott), we've cruised through school this morning and are now heading outside to ride bikes and clean the Suburban. I tried to talk the boys into letting me ride one of their bikes, but that was a no-go. Ah, well, had to try.

What does our Spring term look like, you ask? (Or not, but I'm telling you anyway.)

John-
Math: Math-U-See Primer, starting with Lesson 12. He's shooting for mastery, although I'm not. Primer is designed for introduction and familiarity. He's loving it, though, so who am I to say, "No, you're doing too well. We must speed up!"
Reading: Writing Road to Reading, reviewed all the first phonograms, introduced the first four two-letter phonograms. Then he read the first three lessons in McGuffay's Primer. Major Gummy Bears for that one!

James-Math: Math-U-See Gamma, starting with reviewing Lesson 5. We've pretty much wandered about and created our own problems, focusing on word problem solving. He's not intimidated by them one bit, and that's what I've been hoping for!
Reading: Two chapters of Burgess' Old Granny Fox, four-letter phoneme review, spelling

Both-Latin: Review, review, review. We're somewhere near Lesson 7-ish. (They're young, we're informal, it's all good.) James does the workbook pages from Prima Latina. John does what he's up for, which is surprisingly quite a bit.
Bible: "I am fearfully and wonderfully made!"
History: We'll do history this afternoon, during snack. This week we're picking up with Chapter 22: The Greeks Get Civilized Again. I am hoping to make Eklek this week!

I've requested a catalog for education from the National Gallery, and am so thrilled about doing more experiential, hands-on Art learning!

OK, well, the natives are restless! I'm out of here. Just wanted to touch base today, as I plan to go to bed at a Decent Hour, and a Decent Hour falls long before the truly good Blogging Hour.

Kiss those babies! And don't forget, if you like what you see here, vote (link in the Best of Blog icon at the top). You can vote daily (which I didn't know until last night.)

~Dy

Back to School Days

I reminded the boys that lessons begin again tomorrow. John said, "Can we do math?" James said, "Oh, good!" Jacob slipped off silently, presumably to start hiding potential read-alouds.

The boys are excited about going back, discovering new things, and having new field trips. I am, too. The Fall was a good term for all of us. It was the first term we've schooled both boys and had a baby around. We had to find new footing, and although we've lost quite a bit of our normal reading to the screaming Babyzilla attacks, we've discovered new ways of integrating lessons into our everyday lives. I asked the boys what they, specifically, looked forward to. Some of their thoughts:

They missed doing Latin games.
They are excited about doing memory work again. (??? Well, ok...)
They've both missed doing math.
Oh, and they've really missed gummy worms and M&M's. (Which are an invaluable part of our daily lessons, of course.)

Those sales in August always sneak up on me, which is a strange sensation. As a child, I had an internal clock that told me they were coming. Or perhaps it was just that my shoes began getting tight and I knew we'd be buying "school clothes" right about then. January back-to-school always came with little fanfare, other than from parents. The children were stripped bare of their mental faculties by too much sugar and no actual structure. Going back to school wasn't quite the "fresh new experience" it had seemed in August.

Either way, the boys' "back to school" experiences are different, both by the nature of being spaced so many years after mine, as well as by the nature of homeschooling. I am glad for that. Yet some things are the same, and as I sat tonight, gathering materials and finishing the odds and ends of the Spring Term plans, I realized I am quite glad for that, too.

Our big project for this term will be art appreciation, to culminate with a fun-filled adventure to the Museum of Art in DC! I must get either a new ink cartridge or a new printer before I can pull this off properly!

Kiss those babies and share with us what your plans are for the Spring. What are you looking forward to?

~Dy

Mama's 2004 Reading List

This is what my year looked like, although I've left out the titles I began and didn't finish. I think of those as a headstart on this year's list. *grin* They're sorted into semi-categories, but Dee and I came up with them at some unholy hour of the night and so they aren't what you'd call up to Dewey standards by any means... And I know there are a couple I read, but didn't blog about, and so those are just destined to remain a mystery until I stumble upon them later. Sorry 'bout that.

Historical/Biographical
* The Dead Sea Scrolls
* Anastasia, the Lost Princess
* The Man Who Would be King: The First American in Afghanistan
* Reformation and Society in Eighteenth Century Europe
* Treason


Fiction
* Catcher in the Rye
* Middlemarch
* The Screwtape Letters
* Cat’s Cradle
* The Hobbit (also as a read-aloud w/ the boys)
* Lord of the Rings (trilogy)
* Waterloo Station
* The Dark Tower Series
-The Gunslinger
-The Drawing of the Three
-The Wastelands
-Wizard and Glass
-Wolves of the Calla
-Song of Susannah
-The Dark Tower
* Diary of a Mad Bride
* The Great Fire
* Redwall
* Cryptonomicon
* A Painted House
* several patricia cornwell books- they all start to blend together after a while
* Aubrey-Maturin Novels
-Master and Commander
-Post Captain
-H.M.S. Surprise
-The Mauritius Command
-Desolation Island
-The Fortune of War


Practical (AKA- clueless as to where to put these)
* Building Your Dream House
* Electrician’s Exam Preparation Guide
* The Owner-Builder Book
* Foundations & Concrete Work
* Builder’s Guide to Foundations and Floor Framing
* Cooperative Sports & Game Book
* Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
* I, John, Take Thee, Mary
* Who Killed Homer?
* On Writing
* Simple Food for Good Life
* Gluten-Free Cookbook
* Dependent on D.C.
* More Guns, Less Crime: Understanding Crime and Gun Control Laws

Hamlet, Darnit, She Was In Hamlet!

Zorak loves me unconditionally and wholeheartedly. I know this, and that is why I am not insecure when he gives me pitying, head-shaking looks while we discuss mathematics. Or, more accurately, while he postulates, expounds and monologues about mathematics.

I just sit there like the RCA puppy; attentive, but clueless.

The tables turn, however, when we discuss, say, Shakespeare. Tonight I was trying to explain to him who Helena Bonham Carter is, and all I could say was, "Ophelia! You know, she was Ophelia in Mel Gibson's Hamlet! You know..."

No. He didn't know. Not that he didn't know who Helena Bonham Carter is (he did remember her from Fight Club). He doesn't know who Ophelia is.

This is where we switch roles. I don the didactic robes and he dons the puppy spots. He starts sniffing about the couch, roams into the kitchen looking for food and eventually wanders off completely, leaving me to mumble to myself, "I really do like Kenneth Branagh, but I just felt the way Gibson set Rosencrantz' arrival at the castle fit what I saw when I read it..."

So there you have it, hidden beneath the weirdness of discussions in our home, two very clear academic goals we have for the boys. Zorak wants them to know mathematics on a deep and personal level. OK, I wouldn't put it that flowery. From his perspective, he wants them to own it, make it their slave, use it hard and fling it around like a used tissue, baby! (Mmm, yeah, been a while since I had to talk like a guy, so let's just consider that a wholeheartedly paraphrased sentiment there. Hopefully, however, you get the idea.)

I want them to read and explore the world around them, to grasp words and understand what it means to truly savor stories, books, histories. I want them to understand my food-related book review guide on a nearly cellular level: taste what you are reading, feel the texture. If you are steeped in language and your taste buds are primed, then when you hit on a masterpiece, you'll never forget that full sensation for the rest of your life. I want them to get obscure references - they're like extra smiles you wouldn't get otherwise. Who would voluntarily pass up on extra smiles?

We do have to accept the fact that out of three children, odds are good that one (or more) may never really revere Fourier the way Zorak does. And one (or more... *sniff, sniff*) may not feel a from-the-belly laugh at Shakespeare's comedies.

It could happen.

But at least, if we do our jobs well and expose them to things like this, show them what's been laid out before them, they'll at least be able to roll their eyes at me and groan when I make silly references. They'll see another Laplace diatribe coming on from Zorak and head for the kitchen in search of food.

And they will know who Ophelia is!!!!!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Goals Again- Setting them, Keeping them

I had planned to sit down with the boys and get a vague overview of what they might like to learn this year. Of course, when you're six and four, you want to learn all sorts of things and there doesn't need to be any cohesion to it. That's where parenting comes in, and somehow we can pull it all together, put in what they'd like to learn more about, and wrap it in the things they need to learn, as well.

Hee hee. I feel like I'm roaming about the hospital ward in a doctor's coat with a clipboard, hoping nobody realizes I'm not the doctor!

However, since a good leader won't ask of his troops what he isn't willing or capable of doing himself, well, there ya have it- I need to figure out what I'd like to do this year before asking the boys what they might like to accomplish.

I've been setting goals the past few years; broad and defined, long and short term. It's been amazing to see the difference that's come about in response to these goals. Not only is my mindset a little more focused (yeah, completely subjective terms on that one!) but in going over our goals from the past year, I've been pleasantly surprised to find that we accomplished nearly all of them! The only goal we did not accomplish was buying a house, and that simply was not within our means, but not due to anything we dropped the ball on, or failed to do.

My favorite, just-for-me goal is an ongoing goal. This is year three, I think. I realized one day that while I was quite well-read for a five year old, I was sorely lacking for a 30-something woman. Ahem. Yes. So began my quest to increase the quality of my reading, as well as the quantity in general of my reading. I had an inkling it was working when Zorak commented one quiet afternoon, "You read much more interesting stuff than you did when we were dating." I figure this goal pays off in more ways than I can list off the top of my head, but here are a few quickies that come to mind:

* It keeps the world unfolding before me, for my exploration.
* It sets an example for the boys that I wouldn't mind them following.
* It makes me more interesting, specifically to Zorak and the boys, but probably in general (or not, again, subjectivity is a beautiful thing).
* It affords us the luxury of enjoying worlds, places, people we might not otherwise enjoy.
* It keeps me focused (as I said, we're sticking with the subjective, just smile and move on, please).
* It gives me a jump start on great reading lists for the boys in future years!
* It's just FUN!
* It makes me question new things, old things, other things.
* You have no idea (or maybe you do) how much fun standing in line can be when someone else comments on the book poking out of your bag!
* Books are far more enjoyable when you catch references to and quotes from other books because you've actually read them.

There are more, I know there are. But it's time to go play with the boys. The gears have been put away, and it looks like we're going to build a train yard in the living room. Mmm, I do love this life.

Kiss those babies and have a wonderful afternoon!
~Dy

Best of Blog Awards

Well, this all kicked in while we were on vacation, but blogmechanics is running it's "Best of Blog" awards right now. I sure miss cable modem because there are some great new blogs in the different categories that I hadn't seen before! What a great place to find more ways to spend quality internet time. *grin*

Anyhow, I first learned about it when I received a congratulatory note for being nominated. So I checked it out. How sweet. Thank you to whoever nominated Classic Adventures.

When we returned from vacation, I received another note that Classic Adventures made it to the list of finalists. Wow, what a surprise. I feel pretty honored to be in such good company, and it's a little strange to think of having come that far. Again, thank you, all.

If you haven't voted (or didn't know about it, like yours truly!) and would like to, go check out the finalists. You can find them here for the Best of Education/Homeschooling category, but browse around and vote for your favorites all around. I'm not posting this in the hopes of garnering votes, but rather just because I think this is a neat opportunity to learn more about the great bloggers out there- seriously, go check it out.

And on that note, since it's finally not raining we are having a cookout with friends- burgers on the grill, toasted marshmallows, and wonderful company. The boys are so excited they can't sit still... and that's making it a bit difficult to blog. I'll be back when they're in bed. :-)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Accountability and Perspective

Have you ever noticed that some people hold children accountable to an unattainable standard? I'm not talking about expecting them to learn to tell the truth or to look both ways before crossing the street. Those are things they need to be taught and held accountable for. The question isn't whether the child gets it right every time, but where is his heart? What does he or she want to do?

What I'm talking about specifically is holding something against a child that the child did not understand was wrong, or was simply too young to even remember doing. Would you tell a child who is ten that he cannot be trusted to ride a bicycle because he knocked one over when he was four? How about refusing to let a 14 year-old child babysit because once, when she was seven, she pushed her baby brother down the stairs?

The Original Case in Point: It has been lorded over me most of my life that I am a dangerous, evil person because I "intentionally and maliciously" threw a knife at my brother-in-law. I still don't remember doing it, but boy have I apologized time and again for it. When I was in my early twenties, I learned from outlying adults, that the occasion took place when I was two. It was a butter knife and was, evidently the only thing near my high chair. He was trying to force something into my mouth and wouldn't take "no" for an answer. Hence, my two-year old brain thought, "Grab something and chunk it at him. Maybe he'll go away!" Hmmm.

So it is ok to throw butter knives at adults? (Well, or children, for that matter.) No. Did my mother explain it to me, reprimand me for throwing a fit? I'm sure she did, she was good about that stuff. Did I ever lob cutlery at him (or anyone) ever again? Nope. To most people, that was a simple learning experience set upon by many children in many scenarios over the eons. Kids figure this stuff out bit by bit. Don't throw hard things at people. Don't bite people or pets. There's so much to learn! Yet to this day, that's a black mark on my record, according to some people.

I hadn't thought about this until we were in Prescott, visiting with a friend of Zorak's. This guy is a good guy. He's one of Zorak's dearest friends. He and I don't usually see eye-to-eye, but our run-ins are mostly of the perspective kind, and I'm guessing this was just another one of those things. He does not have children, nor is he around them much at all, and he's rather set in his ways, which is perfectly normal. Meanwhile, we have three, and haven't had our own way much of the time for the past six years. Rather, we've changed "our way" to accomodate having a family. Again, perfectly normal.

We were sitting at a restaurant, waiting for our meal, making chit-chat and praying the boys didn't bop passers-by with their ballons. Everything was going well. The boys were being good. Jacob was only mildly neurotic (two new teeth coming in that day). Zorak was happy to see his dear friend, and I was thankful we didn't have to go to their house to visit. All good!

Out of nowhere, he asks me, "So, has James gotten over his mean streak?" *pause* HUH? What mean streak, I ask. "Oh, come on, he had a mean streak." Um, he was two the last time you were really around him at all... I just said that no, he was fine, and moved on to give Jacob some unwanted attention to prevent me from pushing the point further.

Later, I discussed it with Zorak and the only incident we could think of was once James threw rocks at one of their many dogs. Friend's Wife just about had a stroke (those are their babies, which I can appreciate), and I took James aside to talk with him. My discussion with the two-year old went like this:

Me: Honey, what are you doing?
J: Playing catch.
Me: Oh. Um, well, with dogs it's "fetch".
J: Playing fetch.
Me: Yeah, well, with dogs, you use balls, not rocks. And you throw it away from the dog, not to the dog.
J: Oh. OK.
Me: *glancing up at our hosts who have retreated to their kitchen window to seethe between the blinds* Got it?
J: Got it.

He never hit the dog with rocks again.

How sad to be held accountable for something that happened so relatively long ago, when he was so very little and just learning. I would hate to be labled as to who I am now based on something I did when I was ten (which is the same ratio). Can you imagine?

James is now six. He's a neat kid, a little uncomfortable under scrutiny and can be rather flighty, but he is pure joy for us. His laugh comes from the depths of his toes and spreads to his eyebrows. Sometimes his eyes actually disappear when he laughs. He's funny and sweet, cries if I squish a lady bug in the door, is hypersensitive and gets frustrated quite easily. He will share his candy with his brothers without being asked to do so. He attends to tasks with a good attitude, and when he forgets what he's doing, he's cheerful in getting back on track. He treats his baby brother like a special gift from God, and he treats his other brother like, well, another brother. He opens doors for ladies and says, "Yes, please," and "No, thank you." He makes up excellent riddles!

And someone is missing out on all that neat stuff because of an innocent child's mistake from long ago.

Sadly, that's not all that uncommon. As my friend put it, some people "think kids walk out of the womb with a complete understanding of culture". How true! We accept that they don't pop out speaking an intelligable language, knowing how to dress themselves or tie their shoes, but somehow it's pretty common for folks to expect little ones to fully grasp the intricacies of human interaction and the norms and taboos of their culture.

Wow, that's just creepy. I know full-fledged adults who don't grasp 80% of it.

So, just for the sake of a child's heart, and our own, let's be sure to check ourselves before making comments about a child we haven't seen in a while. Or stop and ask whether perspective may have played a role in how we felt toward something. The feelings you save could be your own, your friend's, or a child's.

Kiss those babies!

Will Wonders Never Cease

Wow. I checked our answering machine today and among the other miscellaneous calls about Sunday School and KinderChoir and Holiday wishes, there were two strange messages. Both from the same lady, wanting to talk to me. (Or some version of me- she couldn't pronounce my name to save her life- but bless her, she sure tried.) I had a strange feeling that she was calling about my diaper bag (remember, it was stolen the day after Thanksgiving), so I talked with Zorak about it, then called her back.

Well, I had to leave a message and wait for her to return my returned phone call, all the while wondering what in the world she would have to say...

She called just a little bit ago. She has my bag. Says she found it in the bushes in the Wal-Mart parking lot on Christmas Eve and tried to call then. It's all in there except the camera.

Wow.

How great!

Of course, I am a tad bit cynical and not entirely sure she's innocent. Zorak just picked it up and phoned to say it's spotless and hasn't weathered so much as a day in the out of doors. He also said all the stuff is in the one pocket of the bag I never use.

I don't know what it was, and will probably never know the full story. But I'm really thankful that she called. I have been the one to call and return items I've found, so I know how awkward it is to phone someone up and say, "Hey, I, um, have your things here," all the while praying the recipient of the call doesn't lunge at your throat. So I treated her the way I would want to be treated- whatever happened before doesn't matter. She called and returned our things. I'm glad to have the things back that I could not replace- the pictures, the sentiment behind that particular sling, and even the bag itself (a reminder of the four years we spent slogging our way through while Zorak was in college).

I'm sure surprised and thankful for those wonders you just don't see coming.

Oh, hey, speaking of unexpected wonders, anybody want to come help me with this laundry?

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Great Gifts

This year the boys received some truly fabulous gifts- not only thoughtfully picked out, but gifts that they will enjoy year-round for many years to come. (That's part of the reason I'm blogging again today- they're entirely engulfed in play!)

The Magnetix (from Wal-Mart) were a huge hit. Both boys have built and played and conspired almost non-stop with these things. The only thing I would change is to have purchased more than the one 70-piece box.

The pirate ship, oh, I wish there was some way to convey the response! We have a standing rule that no hard toys can be bedtime toys, but occasionally, for very special things, that rule can be bent. John slept with two pirates and tucked one into our bed, too. Granny made the comment one day to John, "Wow, you must be part squirrel." He said, "No. I'm part Indian, part pirate, and part good guy." It's good to know who you are, isn't it?

If you've wondered about the Gears, Gears, Gears toys- they're a riot! Particularly if there's a motor in the set. This box came out at nearly every stop we made, and we've still got all 120 pieces. The boys are nuts for building things they can make go.

Uncle Lyndel, who has no children, but he will- oh yes, he will, and we will be there with batteries and toys with many small pieces- brought a K'nex set for the boys. That one is a "during Jacob's nap time only" toy, but I think they'll have a blast with it once we get things stashed and find a safe spot for it to live.

And, as always, books, wonderful books! Three different I Spy books for the boys, some precious board books for Jacob, and Merlin and the Dragons for John. (He's checked it out from the library repeatedly over the last year- it's a love affair that seems to be sticking. The illustrations are fun, and the story is neat. Can't beat the combination!)

And what did I get? I got a big batch of my mother-in-law's phenomenal caramel pecan logs! They are delicious, and a lot of work, so I'm thoroughly appreciating them. She and Zorak keep insisting that you aren't supposed to eat them like a candy bar, but I say, if the shape fits... Hey, I'm willing to forego new jeans just to enjoy these decadent things the way I want! (Although Zorak hid them deep in the back of the Suburban, which is the only reason there are any left for me to be eating now...) Merry Christmas!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

2300 miles in two and a half days!

WOW, that's a lotta driving! However, we are home, and boy does it feel good!

The return trip started around four o'clock Sunday afternoon. We left from Las Cruces and drove straight through to Nashville, where we slept hard for 10 hours Monday night, then hit the road again Tuesday. We pulled into town early this morning.

The transmission started giving us trouble just outside Knoxville, so that last leg of the journey took a while as we nursed the little thing home with a cranky 2nd to 3rd transition and no passing gear. (This week's science lesson, boys and girls, How Chevy Should Never Have Made Their Electronic Transmission. Thankfully, we bought the extended warranty nine months ago when we had this transmission put in. And just so you don't believe everything you read, this Suburban isn't from the Carter administration. Our last Suburban was from the early, early Reagan era, but that one died a relatively peaceful death a couple years ago. This one is just a wee pup, a three-legged pup, evidently, but still not even ten yet. It does have heat, though, oh yes, it has wonderful, working heat!

Let's see, only two boys threw up on the return trip, so that's not a bad average.

The amount of laundry waiting for me is beyond intimidating, particularly since we didn't have the energy to take it farther than the foyer when we unloaded last night. The dining room looks like a convention for chronic runaways, with all the plastic bags filled with mismatched clothing and dirty socks.

It's now eleven thirty, Jacob and John are painfully perky and awake up in our room, James may be forced out of bed by hunger at some point, but that's not likely to be this morning. I'm going to feed the Wee Ones and get some wash going. Will be back later today to play around and bore you with our lesson ideas for the Spring '05 school term. Then off to read blog buddies and check the overflowing email. (I had no idea how frustrating it would be to be without internet access for days on end! Hah! Who needs cable when you have an ISP? Hee hee!)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

A Balm for the Heart

My goodness, what a wonderful world! Not only did we spend this week completely captivated by the majestic cliffs of the Northern New Mexico Pueblos, by wide rainbows braced above roaring arroyos, and by the from-the-toes laughter of the boys, but then we came to my "Happy Spot" (here with Aunt Pat and Uncle Ed) to spend the night and most of this morning. Ah, what a salve.

I am thankful we've been in the Southwest this week- the sweet smells of mesquite and cedar, the deep and honest laughter of folks who've known me for most of my life and still love me unconditionally, along with so many other things that act as touchstones, reminders of who I am and what makes us who we are, combine to create a soothing balm for the heart, for the soul. (Remind me to blog about that when we get home- they deserve more time than I can give them this morning.) There is no substitute for seeing your children loved simply because they are children. There is no greater strength than that which is shared by those who understand the importance of unconditional love. Phenomenal. Simply phenomenal.

Then I checked my email and just about fell out of my chair to see so many kindhearted and warm comments regarding the loss of our Wee One. If anyone ever doubts the power of one kind word, they have never been on the receiving end of several. Thank you.

We are heading to Prescott today. Aunt Bette has been caring for Uncle Stan as his health has steadily deteriorated. He hasn't eaten in several days now, and to be honest, I don't know what we will find when we arrive. She sounds so afraid and lost when we talk with her over the phone. She is sometimes angry, which is a normal reaction to being afraid and not knowing what to do, or what will come next. She needs us there, to listen, to hold hands, to help if we can. So, thankful for our time of rejuvanation here with Aunt Pat and Uncle Ed, it is now our turn to offer rejuvenation and unconditional love to others.

That's how life works. It's not always joyous and uplifting at first glance, but it is always good. Sometimes the richness is found in the darkest corners, when someone else brings a torch to warm you and light the walls. I'm thankful for those who have brought them to us, and for the opportunity to take them to others.

We're off to brave the flooding Arizona highways!
Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Sad News to Share Today

On Christmas Day, amidst the excitement that accompanies every Christmas when you are six and four (and even one), intertwined with the joy of seeing my brother-in-law engaged to his wonderful girlfriend, we received some most unwelcome news. This pregnancy has come to an end. I hope soon that the process will be finished and the healing may begin. We have not yet told the boys, but please say a prayer that we will have the words to tell them and then to be there for them.

I wrote this from Corona the other night, not sure what I had to say, only that I needed to write. I am sharing it here, unedited...

The thoughts are there, certainly, formed and powerful, undulating like waves in a swelling sea. Emotions, rising in temperature and intensity, come frothing at the break of the larger waves, where swells can no longer contain the power or urgency of the sea.

I am weak-kneed and awe-struck. Suddenly I am small, perhaps six, standing for the first time at the edge of a swaying pier, terrifyingly aware of how large, how unknown (unknowable?) the world is.

Yet I am old, and comforted by life; the same writhing, changing life that once haunted the child. In the rhythms of this sea there is a constancy, even among the changes.

While my mind gropes for control, for understanding, my heart knows that I cannot steer the passage. I have not seen the whole of the ocean, nor viewed the depths to which it opens. Like that small child, I see the beach or the cliffs and I want to go there, climb them. I see the squall approaching and I want to avoid that. The old woman dries the tears of the child and explains that there are things we may not know, cannot know. There are jagged reefs we do not see, dangerous currents we cannot maneuver ourselves.

"Sit quietly, child. This ship can weather the squall. It is strong and dry. It is captained by one far wiser than we, one who has plumbed the depths and has seen the whole of the sea.

I would not stop your grief, and I cannot stop you from seeking explanation. It is good to feel with your whole being and to seek understanding. But, my child, do not be angry if you cannot comprehend. We are very small, and for all the wonders we have seen and held, there are myriad others we will never touch."

My journey continues into farther waters, guided well, accompanied by the finest souls to set foot on this earth. Though I will, from time to time, glance longingly over my shoulder, please do not mistake my sadness for ingratitude toward the course set for me. For though I did not set foot upon that beach or climb those soaring cliffs, I saw them and dreamed them. And they were magnificent.

That experience is forever added to my chest, a bittersweet jewel among the most resplendent of treasures I already hold dear. It cannot dull the brilliant blues I have beheld, nor hollow the deep, rich browns in which I have wrapped myself.

No, I am most certainly not adrift and the journey is no less incredible, the experience no less humbling, for these rough and looming seas through which we must pass.

As always, kiss those babies.
~Dy

Pictures

Ah, a fresh cup of coffee and some new pictures always helps, doesn't it? The boys and I snuggled in for some stories (something I haven't done much with them while we're traveling, and have missed terribly), then I wrapped presents while Zorak and his mom made pecan log candy (YUM!) Stockings have been filled, and in the quiet of the night, I can feel the boys' excitement in my own heart again. I'm thankful for that.

One thing that helped tremendously was turning off that infernal television. I didn't realize until I blogged earlier just how much that constant background noise was affecting me. It's funny, because Zorak and I used to use the TV for background noise all the time. Get home from work, turn on the tube and head to the kitchen- that was the normal routine. No wonder Zorak's poor mother looked askance at me when I kept asking if we could turn off the TV, you know, since we're all in the kitchen... I'm amazed at the difference not having cable has made in our lives. Not to mention that absolutely base, disgusting stuff that's on TV these days! Oy! But that's another blog. This one is for pictures. :-)

Here's one of Jess and I and our herds... that's a lotta kids, but doesn't it look like fun? (I don't have editing features while on the road, so you're getting the raw images for now.) From l-r, front row: Jacob, Belle, Alyssa; middle row: John, me, James, Jess, Craig; way up high in the back- Ry. You have no idea how many pictures it took to get one with all nine of us looking the same direction!



Here's a shot of me and the boys as we ventured into the snow. (ignore the scarf on the head thing, I forgot to bring a hat.)



Here are the boys decorating a gingerbread house with Granny...




Jacob has already beheaded one of the gingerbread men.

And here's the Smidge, getting his first recognizable experience in the snow! Wee!



Merry Christmas to you! I hope tomorrow dawns with many joys and laughter for each of you.

Give those babies extra special Christmas kisses tonight!
Dy

Santa Has Been Sighted In London

Mmmm. Great. That's why I'm here, blogging. (Warning, I'm about to be rather ungracious. I apologize in advance.) I am trying very hard not to dampen my son's enthusiasm. He is so excited and is bouncing off the walls, recounting Santa's estimated speed and checking the weather. He's been looking for a globe for the last half hour (I don't think Zorak's Mom has one, though.)

*sigh*

I'm not trying to be a Grinch, here, honest. In fact, it's just the opposite. Christmas is my favorite holiday, and I love to celebrate it and enjoy it. But, you see, I had no intention of doing Santa with our kids. I didn't want it to be part of the push and rush and gimme-gimme-gimme that sucks the joy of the season right out the back window. Let's be intellectually honest, here, Santa isn't exactly upheld as an example we should follow. Families don't generally go around being Santa. Perhaps if we did that, I could be more enthusiastic. But we don't. And I'm not.

So, no, I'm not exactly Santa's biggest fan. And I know the arguments ~ the magic of childhood, the spirit of giving, yada yada yada, yeah, yeah, I know. I don't buy it. Sorry. Not to mention that horrible deer-in-the-headlights look I know crosses my face when the boys start asking questions about Santa. Um, you know, I'm the Jesus-question person. Daddy's the Santa-question person. Let's not stray outside those boundaries right now, shall we?

I tried not to do Santa, and for two years managed to get away with it. That third year, though, Zorak brought in reinforcements and I lost that battle in a big way. We do Santa now because Zorak wants to do Santa (although I wasn't aware of how badly he wanted to have Santa until that Santa Battle of Year Three). Considering his dearth of celebratory acknowledgements on any level this time of year, it's probably a good thing for him to have and to do. Generally, I am okay with our differences, as well as with how we go about handling certain differences. But this Santa thing just chafes me to the core.

So while I would love to be sitting by the tree with the boys, reading the story of Christmas... they're bouncing around in front of the television, waiting for another Santa update, salivating over what he'll bring them, and I'm trying to figure out when I can convince the rest of the adults that the TV needs to be turned OFF (please, for the love of God, I wish that thing would blow a fuse, anyway) and perhaps we could focus on something a little more "here", a bit more "present" (as in NOW, not GIMME).

Yeah. This is the one chink in the armor that usually rears its ugly head every year. I haven't learned how to handle it just yet, but at least I can come blog- get it off my chest- and then go rally the troops for something fun! Thanks for letting me get it out. I sure do appreciate it, and to be honest, I feel better already. Nobody here is a victim, per se, and I do hope I didn't sound horribly whiney. A little whiney, I rather expected, but hopefully not too much. *grin*

I put pictures on disk last night, so I'll come back later to post some of them. That'll be a much better Christmas Eve blog, anyway. :-)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Where We Are

Y'all would get such a kick out of this place. If you're familiar with New Mexico at all, then you probably know of Lea County (that's where Hobbs is, which is how most folks know the counties in New Mexico, by largest city. Bernalillo County? Oh, that's Albuquerque. Dona Ana County? Las Cruces! McKinley County? Gallup. Somehow, that makes it all make sense. It's weird, I know, but it works.)

If you aren't familiar with New Mexico, fear not, Lea County is easy to find on a map: go to the far bottom right hand corner of the state, slowly work your way North- no, that's Carlsbad, too big, keep going... see Jal? Yeah, that's the southern end of Lea County.

Lea County is a giant landmass of flat stuff that Texas didn't want any more of, and New Mexico was still just a territory, so, well, there ya go. Turned out to be a good deal for New Mexicans, though, as it's a stunningly wealthy county. It's also configured by small towns set approximately 20 miles apart. There are only five towns. Well, maybe eight, if you count the post offices, but I didn't count the ones that close by noon, or the ones that are actually only open two days a week. Anyhow, the biggest one is Hobbs, which is like saying the biggest vehicle Kia makes is the Sephia... If you call any major appliance company, watch repair company, or furniture store and tell them you are calling from Hobbs, they will ask, "What's the largest city near you? Albuquerque?" You'll snicker, because Hobbs is the largest city near you and Albuquerque is five hours away, over empty caliche roads and through valleys of lava beds, in another world, entirely.

SO, moving farther North from the Metropolis of Hobbs, you'll see Lovington, then (if you have a particularly good map) Macdonald (we lived there- Zorak and I nearly doubled the population that year) and finally, at the crossroads of 380 and some other road, you will find Tatum. Population, eh, around 350. Have you heard the John Pryne song, "In a Town This Size"? That was playing on the CD player today as we ran errands; Zorak and I had to give a nod to the accuracy. I'll post the lyrics for ya at the end of this blog.

Tatum is where Zorak spent his formative years, split with Corona (which is another entry altogether). Tatum has one blinking light at the corner of 380 and the Lovington Hwy. He had fun here, but not necessarily the type of fun we want the boys to have. Little things pop up, such as tonight's discussion while driving back to Granny's place.

Me: Is this road part of Lovington?
Zorak: Um... Oh! Look! No, if you're in that house in the middle of the night and the police come, it's the County Sheriff. So, no, this isn't city, it's county.
Me: *making that Marge Simpson groan*

It has an Allsup's (which can't compete with Circle K's coffee, but makes one mean burrito!), two competing cafes (on opposite ends of the town, which seems to highlight the rivalry)- Dorado's Steakhouse and Lil's 380. I have to say, the folks at Lil's have always been pretty nice to a newbie like me... but then, Zorak's mother has lived here for over twenty-five years and she's still known as "----'s ex-wife". Talk about clannish, eh? They know her and love her from one end of the county to the next, but here in Tatum, this is how she's known.

Heaven help you if you ever do anything in public for which you might be branded for life, because here, it is for life, or pretty near that. There is no outgrowing, getting over, or going beyond. When the wheels of change do turn, they move ever so slowly. Ten years later, I think I'm still Zorak's "new woman". And when Zorak ran into his old high school principal, I think the guy was, while definitely thrilled to see Zorak, also genuinely shocked to find Zorak has grey hair and children. (Don't tell Zorak about the grey hair, though.)

HOWEVER, those are quirks. They aren't the character of the town so much as the color. The character of the town is found in every nook and cranny they can pack into this tiny stretch of land. There's Cogburn's Supply, owned by Dan Cogburn, who will come open his store for you when it's freezing out and your pipes burst. The same folks will call you when you first move into a place and suggest checking this or that before a freeze comes since they know you'll probably need to replace it!

There's Rex, who'll gas you up with diesel from his spare tank when you've underestimated just how far it is to town... again. He won't laugh at you because he can't go hunting without getting lost- desperately, phenomenally lost. He understands.

Marco, who is actually from Lovington, but comes to Tatum to service the Xerox machines, and went to the trouble of learning to play Fraulein for our wedding, just because Zorak loves that song. (By the way, if you need a band, the Liquid Gypsies are fantastic! They also travel fairly inexpensively, and did I mention they rock?)

The character of Tatum is in the way folks wave as they pass, the way the men wait at the tire store on the corner and brag about their kids, the Fourth of July all-community celebration, and the fact that anyone will stop and help you if you're pulled off to the side of the road.

It's in the Tatum Cash, which is a grocery store that still works on the Cash 'N Carry principle. You get your groceries and pay for them on payday. You know the gals at the checkout and the kids stocking the shelves. You know who's daughter has passed her babysitting course and is available on Friday nights. You know who needs help, and who to contact to put your help into the pot.

Zorak's Mom and her sister both drive for the local school district, and on one of their routes there's a family who doesn't have much. They make darned sure the kids are clean and well-groomed, but that pretty much sucks it from the coffers. Without prompting, ZMom and her Sister said they'd like to do something for this family and *bam* help came rolling in all over the place- trees, gifts, books, food.

Color and Character, it makes for a wonderful combination (just keep your nose clean!)

Anyhow, that's sort of it in a nutshell. Not a big nut, nor shell, but a good basic gist. We're having fun, that's for sure! (Oh, and we ran into Rex today, picking up a tire- sure 'nuff, he was lost for two days on his last hunting trip!)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

SNOW!!!!!!!!!!

We wore short sleeves yesterday afternoon, laughed about the weather at Christmastime, and snickered over the "dry heat".

This morning, we awoke to two inches of snow and still coming! There are drifts over six inches deep and the boys are torn between wanting to play in the snow or make gingerbread houses....

snow, or help Granny make cactus jelly (we have been out for quite a while...)

snow, or hot chocolate...

Decisions, decisions!

So, Mom's required course of action- snow, hot chocolate, gingerbread houses, jelly. More snow, decorate the tree (which is currently buried in the snow).

One of Zorak's cousins will be over this afternoon. She and her husband have three boys- almost all of them are the same ages as our boys. James and their oldest are only a few weeks apart. John and their middle boy have a couple of months difference. Then the Smidge and their youngest are just a few days apart. We haven't seen them since the oldest babies were three months old!!! I am so excited, and sure hoping the boys have a blast playing together.

Alrighty, we're off to play in the SNOW!!!

I'll have to tell you tonight all about Tatum, where we're staying. It's a spot on most maps, but like the Pleiades, you'll miss it if you don't know where to look (or if you look right at it). Such a neat little town.

Kiss those babies and snuggle them tight!
~Dy

Howdy From New Mexico

Oh, guys, this trip has been so much fun! We're at Granny's now. The boys are off scouting for a Christmas tree with Zorak and Granny. The Smidge and I are hanging out, doing wash and, erm, well, checking email. OK, he's napping, I'm checking email! How fun to find comments- hi guys! Thanks for leaving notes- I don't feel like we're "gone" now. Thanks. :-)

Diane- I would love to meet up with y'all in Phoenix! That would be such fun. If my phone ever arrives, I'll email you the number (yeah, paid for two day shipping and as of Saturday it still hadn't arrived at home- grrrr) and we'll make plans.

Linda- Beef Jerky and peanut butter count for protein, right? ;-)

Stephanie- so, no chance you'll be going west, through New Mexico, first- then on to Arkansas???

Staci- I thought of you as we drove through MO! Well, we more just sort of clipped MO. It's so pretty down that way. I think we stopped at one of the bait, tackle 'n steak places. It's nice to be able to eat and buy ammo in one fell swoop, isn't it? We bought fireworks, too. (Somehow, men never outgrow their fondness for fireworks, do they? I think Zorak had more fun than the boys did!)

I don't know if it's hormones or if I'm just being all girly right now, but I nearly cried several times when we hit West Texas- all the familiarity, the things we know, things that make us smile seemed to bombard my senses. Ian Tyson's lilting voice over the radio, crazy in love, enamorado, alone out on The Llano Estacado; the Dairy Queen, as the place to be, in each small town; population signs with only three digits; valley sprinklers (which we first saw in Alabama, and I teared up then, too). It just felt very good not to feel quite so foreign for a bit, to know where we were by feel and smell, then to see it all laid out as we topped the Caprock.

Our foray up into Oklahoma put us into New Mexico late last night, but it was oh, so worth it! The children (all seven of them!) had a great time at Jess'. They took us out for Mexican food- real Mexican food. With green chile! WeeHa! That was heavenly. The expressions on the staff at the restaurant were priceless when we traipsed in and asked for seating for eleven. However, it's easy when you get the hang of it- four adults, so that's one at each corner; littlest ones by Moms; everyone else in the middle. Not bad. We got a great shot of everyone at the table- I'll post it when we get home. Charles wanted to tuck Belle into his coat pocket and bring her home. Alyssa said we couldn't take Belle, but she'd come with us. They have the sweetest children.

Then we headed on to Aunt Bonnie and Uncle John's. I was going to blog from there, but truthfully, I couldn't pull myself away from the kitchen table. The coffee was hot and plentiful, the company was wonderful, the conversation was enjoyable. No offense, but the computer just can't compete with that. I wish y'all could meet Aunt Bonnie- she is so very much like Mom in all the wonderful ways that make me smile. I felt like we were back in one of the houses I'd grown up in, and that was a very warm, fuzzy feeling. The boys fell in love with Holly, Aunt Bonnie and Uncle John's wee chihuahua. Once she realized they weren't going to squish her, I think she kinda warmed up to them, too. Now they want to move to Oklahoma and have horses and visit Holly! (That's all the important criteria for a move when you're four and six!)

We'll be busy the next few days with visiting cousins and aunts and uncles in the area, catching up with old friends of Zorak's, and preparing for Christmas. My mother-in-law said this morning, "We can just buy the pies and we'll make the candy!" Oh, JOY! (Picture me, doing the Snoopy Happy Dance.) This lady makes the most decadent candies! As a matter of fact, two years ago, we didn't realize I was pregnant with Jacob because I'd eaten so many of her pecan logs that I honestly thought I was just getting fat. *grin* I hope she'll make me a few for the trip back, too.

Anyway, that's all the news that's fit to print today. Will blog again soon.

Kiss those babies!
Dy

Hey, check that out-

I remembered my login information! WOOHOO!

Howdy from Arkansas! We've covered a little over 1100 miles so far, and the trip is going incredibly well. The boys are great little travellers. James has chain stitches about half the skein of yarn (it's now difficult to get him in and out of the Suburban and takes a while to divest him of all the random strings), John is enjoying the scenery and all the birds (birds! who'd a guessed that's what would catch his eye?), and Jacob seems to be quite tickled that we haven't turned him backwards again. It's as if he relishes each trip facing forward, just in case.

They're looking forward to the destination, but with no whining or fuss. I'm so proud of them.

We left Thursday night and drove straight through the night. Zorak drove until three, then I drove while he slept. We breakfasted in... in... hmm... I can't remember where we ate. It was, of course, a Waffle House, but in the south that doesn't exactly narrow it down to any one town, does it? Then we popped in to Huntsville and stayed Friday night there. Lovely little area! Wow, it's just gorgeous, and the folks are so friendly. And the mountains.... ahhhhhh.

We drove on yesterday, stopping only when we lost power steering and coolant. Yikes! Initial diagnosis: "Something seized up and threw the belt. Please, please don't let it be the water pump." Zorak set to work doing the things he does so well while I sat in the Suburban, knitting furitively, envisioning our weekend in the little hotel behind the "Grab 'em Grub Shack" (bait or steak? I have no idea!) while we had to order the imagined part that nobody in a 3000 mile radius keeps in stock. (Hey, it's happened before!) Turned out that, no, it's not a weird part, it was in stock and half an hour later we were back on the road with a nifty new idler wheel and serpentine belt. (Zorak wanted me to point out that he even asked for directions to the nearest auto parts place! hee hee He was feelin' mighty good.)

Today we get to spend the day with Jess in OK and her wonderful, wonderful family! I'm so excited!!! Then it's off to see Aunt Bonnie and Uncle John, two folks who are sort of like a gift from Mom. They are both so great, and were such good friends with Mom that it makes me smile. I'll tell you more all about them when I have more time to do them justice.

Anyhow, I haven't checked new email or done any blog running, but I'd better head out and get back on the road. (Wouldn't want to wait until Jess is dressed or anything! hee hee!)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Weekly Roundup

I think it is so interesting how most families have the same tasks to do each week, yet among 20 families, it's very likely we would hear 25 different descriptions of how they go about their tasks, how they live their weeks.

Sometimes the descriptions are fascinating, like those women who seem to have it all together, and we all gape at them like the first visitors through the door at a live UFO exhibit. Sometimes it's endearing, and you can hear the universal "awwwww" reverberate around the globe. There are descriptions which tug at our heartstrings, and ones which leave us nodding in recognition. And then, occasionally, we hear the ones that give us a good, healthy, all-out belly laugh. The kind that wakes the baby and makes the neighbors glance up from their own evening routines.

What is ultimately fascinating, at least for me, is that there is a little of each of those descriptions (and many more, left unlisted here) sprinkled throughout our own weeks. There is a little bit of each of those women tucked into (or, in some of our cases, stapled onto) our own aprons.

Just neat to see. You're an amazing group of women!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

WOW!

Oh my goodness. I'm... wow. Speechless. You folks know how to make a gal feel warm and fuzzy! Thank you, all, for your kind words and warm thoughts. The prayers mean a lot. The humor is always a plus! (Tips on making the transition, as well as donations for college funds, are also always appreciated!) I can't express, not even in my wretched grasp of three languages all mushed together, how much good it does my heart to be in contact with folks who don't look at me like I'm an alien when we announce our excitement over having a fourth child. Y'all may look at me like I'm an alien for other reasons altogether, but I'm good with that...

Eh, well, so much for speechless.

Today was a splendid day all around. I remembered not to do Latin in conjunction with anything involving food. What a difference that makes! Not only in the boys' articulation, but in the mess afterward.

The boys and I made salt dough ornaments. They made some truly hilarious concoctions, very few of which a mere branch on a Christmas tree (even a stout one) will be able to support. We have a hulking dinosaur nest, complete with twenty-some-odd eggs; a gigantic self portrait of John as a baby; a truly Calvin-esque (as in, "& Hobbes", not the theological leader) snowman, down to the limbs akimbo and a wide-eyed look of sheer terror. Tomorrow we will paint them and hope they dry before we head out on our voyage.

Voyage, yes, we are embarking on yet another adventure. This time it's a visit to see the family in New Mexico and Arizona. We're so excited that the mere details of the trip have yet to sink in. Packing? Pfft. We can do that tomorrow night. Plan the route? Eh, it's mostly, well, "West". We can pull a Chief Dan George on that one. The one thing that is ready to go is a full tank of gas and a ton of enthusiasm.

OH! And you will get *ta-da* Pictures! Yes, our new camera came in yesterday. We've played with it a bit, and will have to install the software. Then I just hope y'all aren't stuck on dial up like we are, because it's gonna be a photographic extravaganza! (We still can't get James to make a normal face for the camera, and John has taken to assuming an "I didn't see who did it" expression, so don't expect too much in the way of "adorable". I'm thinking more along the lines of, "these children are en route to either a frat house or an asylum.")

Zorak's new coat came in yesterday. He is a warm and happy daddy! I know he's a big boy, but I feel better now, too.

And ya know, just when I think I had no genetic input on our children, one of them does something so entirely ungraceful that I am convinced that at least that one's mine...

Jacob was dancing in the kitchen this morning. Gravity shifted, a stray atom caught him broadside and down he went. He caught himself with his hands but then, erm, changed his mind? Gave up? Not sure why, but his hands went out from under him and he caught his head right on the inside corner of the decorative molding on the cabinet doors. Shaved off the top few layers of skin. (Who knew those things were so dangerous?) He's now sporting a lovely Clive Barker-style pulsing sore on his head. I've daubed him up with arnica and some Motrin, which seem to have worked. It looks, well, it just looks wrong to see him scampering about, so happy and in love with the world, sporting that flaming red thing on his head. Poor Smidge.

The boys are clean and snuggled and tucked into bed. The kitchen is cleaned and ready for tomorrow. The house is almost vacation-ready. It's cold out and I need to go see what Jack and Stephen are up to (Desolation Island). These books are truly engrossing! If I don't read now, I'll just have to read while I cook tomorrow so I can get the next book for our trip... So, novel concept, I'll stop talking now! :-)

Thank you, again, for coming onto the porch and joining us in our celebration! All of you I consider friends, and the new names I've heard today, as well. Thanks. :-)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Yup, the shirt is mine. :-)

I had to make some adjustments to Zorak's Twelve Days of Christmas gifts. He was going to get "two tins of altoids", but you know, gosh, the timing on this was just too good to pass up. Instead, he got "two pink lines". We had a sneaking suspicion this weekend, but confirmed it this morning. Actually, I had a sneaking suspicion; he *knew*. He trusts that intuition far more than I do, so the moment I mentioned that it might be a possibility, he was convinced. *grin*

We don't know when we're due, and since we'll be on vacation, we likely won't find out until after the New Year. My guess is early September (again). We'll stop in at our family doctor's in Prescott while we're there to pick up a fresh bottle of prenatals. We have feelers out for a good prenatal care partner, and other than that we're just quite thankful we held on to Jacob's things so far! *whew* We won't have to start from square one like we did with Jacob! Now, if this one is a boy, we're set for clothes! WOOHOO! If this one's a girl, well, she's gonna have to learn to like denim. he he.

I'm not panic-stricken like I was when we learned of Jacob's pending arrival. This little one doesn't come as a total surprise, at least. We're pretty excited. Although, oh dear, the house may not hold six whole people! LOL!

Anyhow, I'll see if we can get those shirts printed up and shipped out for y'all. I'm sure they wouldn't mind making a few changes on the boy/girl line. Thanks for the congratulations! It's a joyous thing to celebrate, and I'm glad to be able to share it with y'all. Oh, and hey, anybody have any maternity clothes they'd like to sell?

Kiss those babies (all of 'em! AHhhhh, they're everywhere!!)
~Dy

A Riddle For You...

What would you think if you saw a pregnant woman with three children wearing a t-shirt that says:

"YES, they're all ours.
NO, my hands are not full.
YES, we know what causes it.
NO, we weren't "trying for a girl."


I'm just asking...

Christmas Shopping

We're done shopping for the boys!

This is an epochal statement for us. I generally consider Christmas Eve to be the only reasonable time to begin shopping. Zorak generally considers whenever I get around to it to be a perfectly reasonable time to do it. It's not perfect, by any means, but it seems to work.

This year, however, we had our trade day with the Wonderful Neighbors, so Zorak and I didn't have to split up for shopping. We also weren't wondering this year whether to float the electric bill or the rent for the month in order to buy gifts. It's nice not being a college family anymore.

We managed to find everything we needed, enjoy a stop at The Outback for an appetizer (their aussie fries with cheese are really quite good!) and still get back in under four hours. Oh yeah, that's the way to do it.

Have you ever been out shopping, wondering what to get for someone when suddenly your eyes light upon IT? THE gift for that person. There's no questioning, no pondering, no weighing: this is it. That happened to us today, and boy does it feel great! (Although if you aren't done shopping for others, you'll find yourself wandering around staring at anything that's for sale, trying to get that same feeling again. It doesn't always come and you find yourself staring at some mighty strange things in the attempt.) We turned a corner and there, in all its plastic, brightly-colored glory, was the biggest pirate ship ensemble I have ever seen. It is gigantic. It has three pirates, all of whom are missing at least one body part each! It has a cannon that actually shots big pewter-colored plastic cannon balls!

How cool is that when you're four years old and think the most influential person in the world is a toss up between Captain Nemo and Sinbad? Yeah, that was definitely the best pick we made this year. I cannot wait to see John's face when he opens it on Christmas morning.

We found wonderful gifts for James and John, too. We didn't hit on the "Oh-My-Gosh, that's PERFECT" item for either of them, but I know they'll be tickled pink. Jacob is getting his first bike-like thingy. No pedals, low to the ground. He loves the one the Wonderful Neighbors have, and now that he doesn't tip over quite so easily, we think he'll have fun with it. Good stuff when you're a short-legged smidget. He'll be thrilled.

For James, we found a set of magnetic building things. (They're in the car and Zorak is in search of a plunger, so I can't give you the name.) It's whatever Wal-Mart carries that's comparable to GeoMags. If he likes them, we'd like to expand the set. If they aren't strong enough, but he really enjoys them otherwise, then we'll buy the GeoMags from Rainbow Resource Center. He really wanted something to do with circuits, but we couldn't find anything locally and just aren't ready to deal with shipping this close to the holiday. I think he'll enjoy them, though. Although we can't decide if we want to just wrap the box, or if we want to build something with them Christmas Eve and then cover it for him to discover Christmas morning. What do you think?

Ah, and it's the first day of Christmas! I'm off to corner Zorak and subject him to my whimsical ideas regarding the holidays. ;-)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Friday's Enjoyable Outing

This weekend, aside from the mind-numbing exhaustion that kicked in last night, was truly enjoyable all around. That's a warm fuzzy.

Solomon's Island, which is one of our favorite haunts in this area, hosted their annual Christmas Walk this weekend. We attended Friday evening, along with Kath and her two wee ones. We had supper at a little restaurant on the water. Fed and armed with small plastic drink swords, we then headed to the Calvert Marine Museum, where we listened to a trio perform Christmas and wintery songs, and visited with Santa. James, who thinks the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" is hilarious nonsense because he's pretty sure adults, as well as children, must be asleep for Santa to come, had the chance to confirm that with Santa (who had a difficult time keeping a straight face, but bless him, he did well!) John made sure Santa knew we'd be in New Mexico and to bring presents to Granny's on Christmas. Jacob tried to gnaw his way through the candy cane wrapper. Good times.

We made it to the craft area at seven (crafts scheduled from 6-9) and they had just run out of materials. We think they planned this year based on last year's turn out, not taking into account that last year was bitterly, painfully, dreadfully cold, whereas this year it was almost balmy out. Thus, a much higher turnout this year. Ah, well, there was plenty more to do.

The hospital hosted an ornament painting craft. The boys painted sleds. They painted hair. They painted themselves. That was great fun!

By then we'd had quite an evening and we could feel bedtime approaching. We made one last stop, at Annmarie Gardens for their spectacular Christmas Light drive through the park. Wow. That's a spectacular display. We drove around three times, pulled off to the side, played I Spy, everyone pointing and laughing, oooh-ing and ahhh-ing. I am certain we still missed things. We came home sleepy and happy.

Too Pooped To Blog

The stars converged on me today. It began last night. We had a lovely time at Solomon's Island (I'll fill y'all in on that tomorrow). We came home a little after ten and everyone promptly fell into a deep, almost coma-like sleep. My thinking was along the lines of,

"I'll get to sleep early and be so well-rested for tomorrow!"

My body reacted along the lines of,

"Alrighty then, you've had a whopping five hours of sleep. Wakey-wakey!"

*groan* 3:49AM and I was w-i-d-e a-w-a-k-e.

We had a nice day, lounging about, reading stories. Actually, the boys and I fell asleep when we got home. Zorak assembled the toy rack and left it as a surprise for us in the hallway. It was a wonderful treat this morning!

The boys went to Wal-Mart to pick up enough bins to fill the rack properly while I tidied the house. The Wonderful Neighbors brought the girls over to play while they attended a company Christmas Party. Five children can be very loud. Thankfully, five wonderful children who all play well together can also be very enjoyable. We enjoyed having a housefull, and Zorak even said, "Wow, if we had five children, our house would always be this full." Full. Yes. That's a beautiful word, isn't it? Not riotous, not chaotic, but full. Beautifully filled with happy voices, small giggles, voices echoing in a rising wave, but a good wave. Needless to say, everybody had a great time.

The boys begged to finish Oliver Twist before lights out. We had only one chapter, so... well, I'm a sucker. It was a good story, too, and the soft sighs were well worth the extra few minutes before lights out.

And now, it's past my bedtime. So I bid you kiss those sleeping babies and snuggle in. Enjoy the night!

~Dy

Today, From Jacob's Perspective

My day started out so nicely! I awoke in Mommy and Daddy's bed, all snuggly and warm under the flannel and down. The sun lit the room just enough for me to look around, but not so bright I wanted to get up.

I hear John running down the hall. Oh, I love John! *FWOMPF* John landed on me. Wow. He's heavy. That hurt. I smack him, but he doesn't move. So I smack him again. And again. He yells at me, and that makes me cry. Mommy rolls over on both of us and gives us raspberries. I don't mind raspberries, but does she have to sit on me to do it? She sweeps us up and carries us downstairs. Daddy made coffee. Mommy smiles.

We have sweet cheese bread and fresh fruit for breakfast. YUM! James comes downstairs. He giggles and jumps around a lot in the mornings. I want to be like that when I'm big. I also want to jump on John's head while he's sleeping. I try it today on the couch, but learn that he really needs to be sleeping or it doesn't turn out well. Not for me, anyway.

The timer on the black box in the kitchen beeps and everyone sits down. Creepy. James reads a book while I climb on his head. He likes that. Then I notice Mommy has a book and is heading for the couch with John! That is bad, very bad. I cannot let her read aloud. I cannot let her read quietly. So I scream. I climb on the couch and try to jump on Mommy's head, too, but she's pretty quick for being so large. This happens every day. They call it "Reading Lessons". Well, I haven't learned how to stop the reading yet, but I will. Oh yes, I will...

I'm sleepy. I doze off on the couch, snuggled against Mommy, half-heartedly shoving at the book hovering over my head...

Daddy comes home. He smiles at me and picks me up. He laughs and hugs all of us. Then he feeds me bits of his lunch. He loves us.

As I am basking in the glow of happiness, Mommy sneaks up behind me and shoves my head into a dark, scary tunnel! Out of nowhere, such an assault! I have no chance for escape, and I start to scream for help. Suddenly I come out the other side. Oh. It's that shirt thing again. Well, alright, since it's already around my neck... Then come the shoes. Shoes, I can handle. They don't make my head disappear, and it's such fun to watch Mommy try to catch my feet with the shoes.

Daddy loads me into the car. I help with the buckles. We are off on a trip! Wee!

It doesn't turn out to be much fun. The first place we stop had the most beautiful sparkly things in a corner! I try to tell them about this amazing thing. I'm grunting and squealing for all I'm worth! At one point, I get so wobbly that I literally tip over. Nothing. Well, the boys seem to get it, but the adults just ignore it. Like they see this all the time? I'm over a year old and I don't remember ever seeing anything this exciting! There are shining dangly things, too. I'm in heaven! Mommy keeps saying, "Look with your eyes, not with your hands," and "No-no, Baby."

Oh for Pete's sake, Woman! Just how do you learn anything about your world when you put almost none of it in your mouth? I persist. So does she. The whole ordeal is quite the exercize in frustration. I am glad when we leave.

Our next stop is this wonderful place with cups of bubbly drinks and cartons of rubbery, plastic-like things that smell so good. The best part is that they let me put them in my mouth! We eat. Well, they eat, I explore, making up for the lack of exploration at the first place. (I am still pretty peeved about that.)

Just when I think we will go home for some quality screaming at Mommy while she tries to read a book to the boys time and then a nap, things take a turn for the worse. (You know, the boys are far too quiet when Mommy messes with those books. I think they've forgotten how much fun it is to do that.) Instead of heading home, we pull into the book place. Well, rats.

We walk in, and what do you know, but here are more lovely corners just filled with sparklies and danglies and crinklies. And still no touching. No eating. No licking. No throwing. I don't know where they get these ideas, but I suspect they're wrong. These things are just made for eating and licking and throwing. Why else would so many of them be round if not for rolling along the floor?

Mommy and the boys wander the rows, picking out more infernal books. I try to wander the rows, too, but Mommy (I'm starting to doubt her benevolence) keeps retrieving me. Fine, I think, I'll climb. Again with the "no-no" (as if it's one word? Does she not know she's repeating herself?) and the "come here" and the "shh shh shh, it's ok".

It is NOT OKAY! The boys have plenty of opportunity to bolt while I have her distracted. I don't know why they don't. They could have stripped the green thing in the corner twice over. If they weren't going to take advantage of the chance, the least they could have done is distract her for me. I did manage to cut the trip short, but not short enough.

That place is infinitely interesting if they would just leave me alone and let me explore! I found cords sticking out of boxes! I found another pile of sparklies. I found these great flat, rectangular plastic boxes that just sail across the floor with very little effort. Yup, you guessed it: no-no, don't touch, come here. Oh, I give up. Let's go home.

We pick up Daddy and come home. I like it here, and to show my appreciation, I quit crying. We run and play. Mommy sings. I scream some more. She stops. The boys play at the computer while Mommy makes the kitchen smell yummy. I throw legos into the kitchen. Mommy likes that. She shoves them back my way so I can throw them again.

We hurray the moose and eat. I love to bury my face in a warm, buttery pile of mashed potatoes. It feels so good. You have to try it some time. Everyone uses their happy voices at dinner. Everyone talks. It's noisy, but it's good noise. There are warm smells and soft smiles. James says it's a magical place, where we eat. I think he's right.

We play a bit after supper. I help the boys tidy our bedroom, and then we play in the tub. I pee in it, but don't tell them. They get weird about that. Pfft. Like they've never peed in the tub before. Right.

Then we wrestle and jump. We put on warm jammies fresh from the dryer and curl up in big, soft blankets.

The day ends in Mommy's arms, her voice calling out from behind one of those ~~~~ books. But it feels so good to be here, like this. I'm warm and fed and happy. I don't want to move, so I snuggle in a little deeper and listen to the sounds of my home.

Goodnight!
~Jacob

Whooo Boy

So yesterday, John ate pretzels. That's cool. He likes pretzels. Except these were Rolled Gold, not, as I thought, the Glutino wf ones. *whine* We paid for it today. He spent the day on the verge of tears or in tears. Poor little guy.

Jacob has picked up on James' "owie gatherings" and when somebody cries, Jacob gets up and goes running to them. Granted, once he gets there, he squats down with his hands on his knees and stares at them like a mechanic looking at a blown tranny, but he's getting the feel of it, and that's a wonderful thing to see.

News on Zorak! *the hallelujah chorus sings, drum roll ensues, cue lights, camera...* He bought a coat! The same one he wanted to buy last winter. The same one he didn't buy last winter. I think he's excited, though, and is happy about the purchase. I know I am. He has a motorcycle jacket, but it's not quite what he needs to fend off this moist, blustery cold that comes off the water. I'm excited. My honey will be warm. And he saved the $10 he didn't want to spend on it last year! *Oh, that's funny!*

I think we're getting closer to knowing what to get the boys. I've been trying so hard not to buy all the wonderful things in the Rainbow Resources Gift Catalog!!! (Have you guys SEEN this thing? WOW. It's our dream book. Almost everything in there would be great!) James is always game for puzzles and mindbenders, for anything to do with magnets or circuits. John's up for dinosaurs! Preferably meat-eating ones, but any prehistoric beast will do in a pinch. And trains. Loves those trains. Jacob? Eh, he's easy. He doesn't know he doesn't have anything that's just his. Anyhow, we may get them gears or lincoln logs. I don't know. We tend to do one joint gift and then one or two individual gifts. They receive a few gifts from relatives, as well, and are able to enjoy them so much more. They have so much fun with what they have, and they don't get overwhelmed. But we really try to make those few gifts "just right"- things they will truly love.

On that note, the toy rack is nearly done. Stain is drying on it now. It looks incredibly rico!! Oh, I am SO excited!! There was relatively little Greek this time (some, but it wouldn't be a family project without it). I'll tell ya, I am a Muse! Zorak has the talent, skills, and ability, though. He is phenomenal. He's now working on stilts for the boys. What fun!

K, I'm off. Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Awwww!

Zorak bought my Christmas present and gave it to me early. He bought a camera to replace the one that was stolen! He didn't want to make the holidays without one.

What a total dear.

I appreciate him so much.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Twelve Panic-Stricken Days of Christmas

So. Zorak, you need to stop reading now, please. I love you.






(Is he gone? He never listens to me, but I hope he did this time- I have no other forum for this.)




Y'all know how well I handle Halloween! Expand that competence add tinsel and scotch tape - you now have my Christmas abilities. Oh yeah. It's never a dull moment around here.

A few years ago, I did a "Twelve Days of Christmas" for my true love. I just haven't the stamina or creativity to do it yearly and swore that he was going to have to find a girlfriend for the following year. Thankfully, he knew I was joking. And now I'm nearly stocked up on neat ideas (and starting a whole week- a full week- before the twelfth day! WOOHOO!) But I don't have a full twelve ideas...

Can you all help me? I need ideas that can be done in the multiple of the day itself- starting with one, working to twelve, etc. etc.

If you have my email, drop me a note. If you don't have it, but know someone who does, ask them for it. If you need it, let me know. ;-) You know, just in case he didn't stop reading, it won't spoil the *whole* thing.

If you're some pathetic troll with no other life, just know I will be administering deleting powers at will for anything not nice or appropriate.

(And Honey, if you read all the way through, don't you feel a tad bit sheepish now? I love you dot dot dot)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Not A Creative Thought In My Head

Well, Zorak returned from his trip, dropped his bags by the stairs and promptly succumbed to a cold-like illness. He was mostly unconscious Sunday and Monday. Poor guy. He's been ill more this past year than he was in the entire eight years preceeding. I'm starting to get a little worried about him. This isn't malingering, this is flat-out sick! It seems to get him right after a trip out of town, but even before they put him on the frequent flyer work schedule, he was getting sick more frequently. *sigh*

At any rate, creativity is currently shot. I'm running on two weeks without a mommy-break to clean the house or do any of those things I usually plan to do while Zorak has the boys. It's all good, and I'm functioning... just not on full throttle.

Boys are great! School is a lot of fun right now. They're making good progress and we're happy with it, but more than that, they are enjoying the process. They're having a good time working together on projects and mastering new skills. Forget lighting a candle, I'll set the whole altar on fire if it'll help them stay like that!

Weather is great! I finally hung a clothesline in our back yard. (Wonderful Neighbor swears you can line dry clothing year-round out here.) I hung a load. It dried. Oooooooo, neato! I hung a second load. It started to rain. I brought the load back in. It stopped raining, but threatened me with rain all day. Hey! That's not right! Either rain or move along, there! We'll see if I can bring our electric bill down any this winter or if I'll just get ample exercize bringing in and hanging out loads based on the cloud activity!

I've received several emails from folks saying they couldn't leave a comment. Looks like Blogger has bugs again. Some other bloggers have already gone back to HaloScan because of it. I'll look into alternatives and see what we can do. Sorry for the inconvenience, and please don't give up trying- I love reading your comments and enjoy the stories y'all share!

Well, we're off to do something productive. We'll break from school for vacation next week and I'd like to make some headway before we do. Hope you're all having a productive, enjoyable Tuesday!

Dy

Project Purgatory -or- When Worlds Collide

This is how our projects usually go:

Dy: You know, we need a _____.
Zorak: Yeah? We can make one. (It's now out of his mind. We can make one. Doesn't mean we will, just that we could. Problem addressed.)
Dy: Yeah. That would be nice. (It's now embedded in my mind, and oh, how the ideas flow!)

I have to add an aside here that Zorak's Spider Sense has improved dramatically. I used to be able to slip under his radar and move on with my structurally diabolic plans. Occasionally, I could get home with materials in hand and begin digging for power tools before he became aware that something was afoot. Alas, this is no longer possible. A few days later, however, I approach him on the subject...

Dy: OK. Can we built it this weekend?
Zorak: (Thoroughly lost.) Build what?
Dy: That thing you said we could make.
Zorak: (Unsettling feelings begin to form in his gut...) Well, we'll have to figure out how we want to do it: make a design, recon at Lowe's, figure out the details.
Dy: (Desperately hoping to avoid anything that involves a recon mission.) Nah, it'll be easy. See? (I produce stunningly drawn sketches! They're even slanted to show perspective. OK, I just wrote sideways on the paper, but still...
Zorak: (groans, but quietly.)
Dy: We just need a sheet of plywood and some *insert miscellaneous accessories here- tile, dowels, shadecloth, whatever*. Then we put it up like this (sketch 1) and this (sketch 2, which looks astoundingly like sketch 1, turned sideways) and there ya go! All done.

This is where the transfer of enthusiasm begins.

Zorak: Okay... so how does this attach here at the corner?
Dy: With thingies. *pause* I don't know. Clamps? (no response) C-clamps? (blank stare from Zorak) Spring clamps?? (More low groaning.) Staples! (?)
Zorak: Mm-hmm. Ok, we'll see what they have at Lowe's. (This time it's my turn to groan.) What about the supports across this middle section?
Dy: (dead silence)
Zorak: Yeah. So are we going to route the edges here? And what angle do you want for these over here? And what's the purpose for this part here?
Dy: (fidgeting slightly) I, uh. Did you see the sketches I made? *pause* Is there coffee?
Zorak: (pretending his prey isn't struggling to escape) Instead of using these here we can probably rig something on the edges and φέρτε τις άκρες μαζί με την κόλλα και το στερεώστε έπειτα με τη λήξη των καρφιών. Θα χρειαστούμε τα μικρά καρφιά. Θα μπορούσαμε να προσθέσουμε τα comparments στις πλευρές....

I wander off. Get coffee. Avoid making eye contact. The transfer is complete and the project is now wholly his for this phase. It is alien to me now.

I still get called in for input which I'm not qualified to offer. I make more coffee.

This portion of the proccess wearies me. It involves nuances I don't bother to understand (you mean you shouldn't use twist-ties on a permanent structure?), demands that we work with characteristics of wood and cuts of grain (I dunno- can't we just paint it?) It involves the mathematical relation of stress and counterstress (did you notice my dead silence when he asked about the supports? I left those out on purpose. I just didn't want to mess with them.)

I see a vision and am awed by it's potential (and ease).

He sees the parts and revels in the whole (but particularly in combining just the right parts for the whole).

Together, we make some darned fine projects, but there is this space in the transfer of leadership where it's just terribly uncomfortable.

Eventually, we get the details nailed down. We make the dreaded recon trip to Lowe's. We emerge with materials. They are never "just the right thing," according to Zorak (they're always "more than we needed" according to me), and there are always revisions and adjustments upon returning home, but we're almost done.

Then comes the easy part: letting the boys help build the project. We have a wonderful, unspoken understanding that *this* is the good stuff. This is what it's all about, right here, the boys and us, working together, doing this Thing together. They learn the safety rules for using power tools, that the baby should not eat the nails, and why sanding wood is an important step. That's the part we love. The boys love it. It's a family project, and they understand that. We received many hours of pleasure under our lovely awning. The coffee table is a central focal point for our living room, and we all feel warm and fuzzy about it. The shelf we are currently building will one day obtain that status. When it's done.

If it weren't for Charles, I'd have created a patio shade that engulfed people in any wind over 2 miles per hour, a coffee table that ate children at random, and a toy bin which would have been this generation's version of the 800 pound TV on a wobbly aluminum TV tray.

But if it weren't for me, he'd still be searching for just the right materials...

Yep, we're pretty good together.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy