Wednesday, July 30

Let the Games Begin!

"Family Game Night" That sounds so idyllic, doesn't it? Conjures images of contented adults gathered around a table, gleeful children perched upon their parents' laps. Maybe there's hot cocoa, or a plate of cookies. Perry Como croons in the background...

Some things, (right up there with read-alouds and "quiet time") don't work out quite that way, though. The whole Family Game Night thing has gone a little differently for us...

It started off when we had the lack of foresight to have our children more than 9.5 months apart. This pretty much ensures that they will not be able to play the same standard games, simultaneously. Ever.

And on the odd, totally freak opportunity that their skills come within a level of magnitude that might allow something like CandyLand or Chutes and Ladders to be a possibility for play, it'll then be a sure bet that their tastes will vary so wildly we'll never manage to get a consensus on which game to play. Ever. (Which doesn't really hurt our feelings, as we're not big board game players, Zorak and I.)

Cards? Did someone mention cards? Kill us now. Zorak and I are not card players. We both come from families of card players. They can do that for hours, speaking their foreign language of tricks and passes and liquor and internal organs*. We don't get it. Didn't get the gene. Don't have it in us to cultivate the desire. The boys got it. They got it, bad. So, in order not to be completely awful parents, we've taught the boys one card game: solitaire. (But hey, we have enough decks of cards that they can all play at the same time! That counts, doesn't it?) Random family members who felt the need to "share" the joy of other card games, games that require we play, too, have been written out of the will. (Such that it is, I know, not a big slap on the wrist. But it could be, okay? It could be.)

Still, the Rockwell-esque imagery of Family Game Night haunts us. We get caught up in the oily, painted goodness of Americana, rapidly forgetting that somebody ate the cheese pieces to Mousetrap, that Scrabble's no fun if you can't spell or read yet, that Jenga *will* drive the eldest insane and the smallest to tears, and that at some point, someone's gonna take it personally. When the call gets too strong to ignore, much like it does with my twice-annual attempt to keep my toenails painted, and Zorak's occasional wild foray into follicular maintenance (he grows a beard once every couple of years), we fire up the jukebox, break out the cookie plate, and try for game night.

It's not all lost, really. Some of our experiments have been a bit self-defeating. Some have left scars that the boys will have to dip into their college/therapy accounts to deal with. But not too deeply. In all, I think, we've found some workable, enjoyable things. Mostly, what we've realized over the years is that the block is the build-up, the planning, the need to make Family Game Night something that might need to be capitalized. Sometimes, it's just the fun of doing it together.

So while we don't have official game nights, we do, on occasion, get a wild hair and decide to go for it after supper. It's not always neat and tidy. It's not really even a big deal, as deals go. But the kids love it. We love seeing them love it. I think, second only to spur-of-the-moment desserts, a quick game after supper is one of the best bang-for-the-buck family activities we can offer. It really is a nice way to end the day, and we never regret doing it.

Some of the games we've found particularly adaptable to various ages and temperaments:

Charades - we really like to play charades with the boys. Actually, we like to sit there and laugh until the tears soak our shirts while the boys try to figure out the answer. As the boys get older, they've begun to catch on that repeating the same exact motion none of us could identify the first time, varying only your facial expression as your frustration over our idiocy mounts, isn't really going to work. That has both improved the game for everyone, and cut back on the inner dialogue Zorak and I keep going in our heads - the one that makes us laugh until we cry. Probably a good thing, all around.

Pictionary - or, for us cheap folks, pictures-drawn-on-a-dry-erase-board and random-made-up-words (we do have the game, with the box and the little pencils and all, but the dry erase is so stinkin' handy for this). This one isn't so much fun for the literalist in the family, but the rest of the brood has a really good sense of humor about it all. We can usually play this one for an hour before anybody overloads.

Mumbly Peg - because you know it just can't be all Victorian, all the time, right?

(I'm KIDDING! But that is an interesting link. I had no idea there was so much to the game. And I'm not telling the boys, either.)

Boggle - yes, Boggle. You'd think, since Scrabble can be such a joy-sucking excursion with two kids who can't spell and one who is just now getting the hang of it, that Boggle would be on the Nix-it List, but no. The kids love it. We play House Rules, and everybody joins in. Adults can't use words of less than four letters. Kids can use any words they can find. We cut some slack on spelling for new readers, but not much, and they get up to speed pretty quickly.

Smidge loves to play along with us. He mostly copies letters from the box and presents his paper to Zorak at the end of each round for a point tally. Zorak gets into doing this, and gives Smidge enthusiastic feedback and various points for his efforts. 9/16 of a point, or 3/8 of a point. Smidge made a most impressive string of letters tonight, for which he was rewarded with a score of "one point three repitend". Oh, the giddy, giddy joy of getting such a score!

EmBaby loves to shake the box, turn the timer (sometimes she runs off with the timer, but we're usually thankful for the extra few minutes to find more words, so nobody complains terribly), and help me write. It's important to keep spare pencils on hand if you're going to play with Em, because nobody feels bad for you when you try to claim that you got spanked on that round for lack of a writing utensil.

We don't have to do it like everybody else does. We've just got to get in there and find a way that works for us. Then do it. And enjoy it. (Life, not necessarily games. But it could be games, too.) Sometimes, it really is that simple. I cling to that knowledge.

And in the meantime, the boys are counting down the days until somebody will come play cards with them. Anybody? Any takers?

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

*gin and hearts

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Dy, just send them out to me here in San Diego. I'd love to play cards with them, so would my boys!

I'm such a game person. Loved, loved, loved playing 42 with my grandparents (very fond memories!).

~sdWTMer

Fe said...

If you're interested in other games, I'd recommend trying some of the Ravensburger stable... (for games that meet the 'playable by kids and _still fun for adults' criteria). We really like Make'n'Break... we just play with some house rules, and Puggle has been happily joining in since 2 (when we got it).

If you're looking for a bit of variety with Pictionary, try Pen and Paper Charades—a bit more noisy and chaotic... but I suspect that wouldn't be a problem for you guys:-) Split into two teams and send them to opposite ends of the house. Someone makes up a list of words, and stays in the middle of the house. Team members run to get the word, race back to their team and draw it... when someone gets it, they go back to the listmaker, tell the word and get the new word. _Loads_ of fun:-)

Anonymous said...

We have the same problem in our family with age difference/ability and have found that the game "Blokus" is perfect. No reading required - just strategy and the little ones can help put the pieces on the board. You can only play four at once - so sometimes we team up! It's a blast.

Regi said...

Blokus... awesome game! *thumbs up* Fits the whole crowd... from my 5 yr old nephew to the 18 yr old to the mom and dad and grandparents. Everyone seems to enjoy it!

~Regi

Heidicrafts said...

Throwing a few of your good games together, I'll suggest Clay Charades. Our homeschool group has a box set (which my daughter loves), but all you need is clay or flour-salt dough and ideas. You shape the clay in 3-D, rather than drawing in 2-D like Pictionary.

Our set of cards is super easy with the items. Every letter and digit is a card. Make a letter J out of clay - sure. I can handle that.

Then they have basic to a bit harder ideas. Tree, hamburger, wagon, snake, mountain, snail, chair.

Very kinesthetic.


We also love Apples to Apples, but that requires some reading. There is a junior version.

We also like Cranium. It has a variety of clay, draw, act out in the same game.

And of course, we like the games for the cards and make up our own family-suited, mood-of-the-day suited rules to go with the cards.

And if you really want to go nuts. Have family Olympics, where each kids is in charge of choosing an event. Games, races, hunts, sports. One each night, not necessarily in a row, just like the Olympics.

Just tossing out ideas. I'm better at ideas than follow-through, but ideas spark more ideas and some will work your your crew.

Anonymous said...

Oh me, me! Pick me!
I love to play card games.
We could play a totally wicked game of Old Maid, or Rummy, or Go-Fish, or... um, you get the idea.

Oh, I second the Blokus idea. We LOVE Blokus! So much fun, and teaches kids great spatial skills.

Emily (Laundry and Lullabies) said...

I liked family game nights when I was growing up, but we had some of the same troubles deciding on games that you describe. Still, it is something I want to do with my kids, and your description makes it sound like so much fun! So far we're sticking with candyland - Jonathan likes it (for about 10 minutes!) and Thomas is happy to play with the little gingerbread men. :)

Anonymous said...

LOL - I'll play cards with your boys. for the next b-day, I recomment Uno Attack. The little machine spits random cards out at you - the boys still love it.

Amy - thefoilhat.com

Anonymous said...

Di, look for the game "Frank's Zoo" (and yes, it's a card game). It has a wide range of appeal in our family that ranges from 11 years to 7 months. A great website for games is www.funagaingames.com. Oh, and check out "Ticket to Ride" sometimes. I can even stand to play that one!

Korrie in UT (RedHen6)

Amber said...

Solitaire - LOL!! I grew up compulsively playing Hearts, Uno, Skip-Bo and Yatzee. We did a lot of camping in the summer and we played these while travelling (in a motorhome) and in the evenings. They worked remarkably well even though I'm 4 & 5 yrs older than my siblings.

We've tried Yatzee and Uno with Emma with some success. Two other ones that have worked surprisingly well are Ticket to Ride and Carcasonne. (sp?) Emma, of course, has no idea on strategy, but the random element she adds to the game makes it quite interesting for the adults.

We haven't played games as a family for over a year though, because everything is in storage. *sigh*

Jenni said...

If they can play Solitaire, they can play Ducky! Someday they may be ready for Scrabble and Scattegories and Taboo and Fictionary and even Trivial Pursuit. Our poor Trivial Pursuit game has sat neglected for years and years because no one will play with me. They don't see how many answers I get wrong, they just see how many I get right and that I'm happy playing so I must not be getting any wrong. They don't believe me that I'm just as happy to learn a new fact as spit out an old one. Someone actually hauled that game out and begged me to play it the other week though. And Joshua won! They'll get older and games will be more fun. You're doing the right thing by keeping the focus on the general experience and the family time for now. Ooh! And someday maybe they'll be able to play name that 80s tune with you. Our boys can kick our butts with any music trivia game we make up, but it's great entertainment for long car rides. The girls are lost, but they're good sports.

Laura said...

When we had/have family game nights, we tend to try and have everyone play the same game together. But some friends of ours do it differently - they pull out several games, and break up into groups. One group might play dominoes, another Apples to Apples, and a third a board game or cards. It's still fun, everyone is still together, and there's conversation between groups.

(Would you like a box of Billy & Blaze books and books of children's poems? I'll ship them out to you if you but say the word.)

Kathy Jo DeVore said...

You're calling it the wrong thing. Around here, it's Forced Family Fun. With the proper name, it's much easier to meet the expectations that the name brings to mind. :)

Our brood likes Settlers of Catan and Carcassonne. Joshua needs help still; sometimes, he's on a team with Daddy. But he still likes it, and Eli enjoys watching for a little while.

Anonymous said...

This post seriously made me crack up. Our kids are just shy of 4 years apart and there really were never many games they could play together, so one of us would get "stuck" being the playmate of the other.

We tried to teach ours fun (depending on how you look at it) games like backgammon, Othello, and chess, thinking that if we had an interest, so we wouldn't mind teaching them the strategies and skills required to beat their friends. (hee, I have a bit of a competitive streak)

The only card game we like is gin and my kids never got that one at all.

Have you tried Uno? You could probably fiddle around with the rules a bit in order to include all of the bigger kids and still have some fun.

The boys and I had a little tradition of a marathon Scrabble game when school was closed and we were snowed in.

I asked my husband if he ever played Mumbly Peg and he said, "oh yeah, you throw a knife into the ground..etc.. (my mind then started wandering at that point,with visions of boys stabbing themselves in the foot) Sounds totally dangerous and just like something the boys would like. Glad mine never played that one.
-Gretchen

Konkadoo said...

I just realized that boggle might just be a fun early reader game.

Michael and I used to play cards for hours with friends back before and shortly after kids. He loves it and so do the big girls. I enjoy it in smaller doses but I admit, growing up a TV kid with parents who were setting that groundwork for TV viewing, long card games were just never something I was accustomed to.

Heidicrafts said...

Upwords is fun to have around, if even it is never player "properly." It is like Scabble, but the tiles are larger and hollow to grab the bumpy board - tiles don't slide off with a slight touch.

Then the point of the game is that words can be changed by other players. POT can become PAT, READ can become READER.

And always with kids, we allow proper names, foreign words, family words (snorker). If it has meaning within the group, it is a word.

And with *your* crew, with the bigger lads, try playing in Latin.