No Productivity Whatsoever

Yeah, yeah, I know. Well, you see, we've been... napping. And then there was that time we spent eating. That was good. Not productive, per se, and didn't get us anywhere on the projects or the project blogging (sorry!) but well *stretch* it was *yawn* really, really good.

And then, there was more napping.

The funny thing about napping. I hate it. I love my afternoon quiet time. But I don't so much love the whole-family-nap-a-thon thing. During the week, we have lunch, we put EmBaby down for a nap. Everybody goes away and spends an hour not touching each other, not asking for candy, not. making. noise. That's what I'm after. I don't care if they sleep or not. And since I'm usually too stoked to be not being touched, or whined at, or called in to intervene (and since I know it's only going to last an hour before the bell dings and we're all back in the padded ring together), I don't usually sleep. I may rest, but I don't sleep. And since I'm awake, I can get things done before the hour is up. It's a beautiful thing, that afternoon quiet time.

But when Zorak is home, it's a different story. He's so warm and torch-like. (This is far more appealing mid-January than, say, late-August!) He's wonderfully affectionate. And he does love a good nap. Somehow, that combination creates this hideous vortex that sucks me in like a ship to a whirlpool. I snuggle in, "just for a minute".

Then everything goes black.

I wake up two hours later to the sound of Snow White torturing birds on the TV, the children climbing over my head like they're foraging for mites, and the unmistakable realization that I've lost valuable laundry time. Project time. Food preparation time! And they're UP! They're moving about. EmBaby's done napping! Noooo...

So I drag myself from the vortex, find a sweater, and wipe the tears from my eyes as I stumble toward the bathroom (because yeah, I'm that pregnant now). At least the children know not to try to beat me to the bathroom door anymore. You get stepped on enough times by a sleepy pregnant woman with an angry bladder and you learn to steer clear of that situation.

But I never can seem to get back on top of things after that. So the rest of the day is usually pretty tough. I mentioned this yesterday, and how I felt so robbed of the productivity I'd planned in my head, and how pouty I was feeling that I'd been gypped of that precious work-time.

Zorak looked at me like I'd grown three heads. All in rather awkward places. "Wow. I was just going to say that this was the most relaxing, enjoyable day I've had in my entire life."

Gah.

Now I have guilt.

How can the same, exact day look and feel so completely different to two people? Two people who were both *there* for the entire day? I know the answer: I am notoriously bad at letting go of the "To Do List" in my head. Even when the "Got It" list is nicer, better, snugglier, and probably a whole lot healthier, it's hard to let go of the internal That Which Must Be Done.

I've gotta work on that, and then work on not kicking myself afterword. Or, you know, unintentionally kicking someone I love. *cringe*

So, we all had a wonderful day spent doing a few things that needed doing, eating food that needed eating, and getting rest and time together that we all needed to get. It was good. It just took me a while to realize that. I'm glad I've got Zorak to recalibrate me on what's important to put at the top of the list.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy