So, the boys are in Cub Scouts. They love it. They love the kids, the handbooks, the projects. They love the outings and the ceremonies. They love that they get a night out with Zorak. Smidge is DYING to be able to join, too. (Last week, he asked Zorak, "Can I go to Scouts?" Before Zorak could answer, he put his hands out in a negotiating type gesture and added, "I just want to watch." How could Zorak resist that much cuteness?) In general, I've been pleasantly surprised with the experience so far.
HowEVer...
These leaders are going to be the reason I arrive at the Pearly Gates two or three years earlier than I'd originally been scheduled.
I can sign off in John's handbook, since he's just a Bear. But he has to bring his projects in to show the Scoutmaster. OK, that's fine. We put them by the front door, and he remembers to take them. Every week. And not once has there been any time set aside for the Scoutmaster to take a look at them and okay the whateveritis. Tried going early. Tried staying late. No dice. His Alabama state flag poster has been loitering and hitching rides for a month and a half now, and it's lookin' just a tad less impressive than it did when it was flat. And clean. *snarl* John missed out on getting his Wolf badge, not because he didn't complete the work, but because there was never a point at which the Scoutmaster was available to do whatever he needed to do to get it recorded by the deadline. I don't think John has realized this, yet, but he's going to be quite disappointed. And to be honest, I'm a little torqued. The kid knew he'd come into Scouting late in the year, and he chose to work his wee tail off, all on his own, in order to do double time and get caught up. How is this workin' for him?
And then, there's James. Webelos have to have their Den Master sign off on their things because they are growing up, preparing to be Boy Scouts, and they need to rely less on their parents and more on themselves. Sounds fantastic. In theory. The reality is that there is no time for his Den Master to keep up with a child like James. He's had all the requirements for his engineering badge completed for two months, now. But he doesn't have the badge because the Den Master wants to see the bridges and the pulleys before he'll sign off on them... and, you guessed it, he never gets around to doing it before or after meetings. I've got to give James credit - he does try. But he's not going to get in an adult's face and demand attention when he has already requested the adult's attention and the adult is busy doing something (like, oh, say, rein in a disruptive child, or talk with another adult, or... oh, wait, HE LEFT, AGAIN.) But the guy has no problem sending out a mass email "reminding" parents that they are not to sign off on their Webelos' projects anymore!
And... that was when my blood pressure started to eke up a bit. I have to let Zorak handle this. I really have to, because this is simply maddening. If you're going to insist on guidelines like this, then you simply must also accomodate the meeting of said guidelines. I don't see any way around it, and this current method is making. me. nuts. I'm already post-partum. They SO don't want to see me go all PPD on them at a meeting over this. Yeah. So, I am trying to stay out of it. But I'm such a control freak, particularly when it pertains to my children. I guess it would be more accurate to say that I'm working behind the scenes to find a way to allow the boys to succeed without having to drag my hormonal, irritated, pimply/yet dry (what's up with that, anyway?) self down there for a hashing out session. So, here is The Plan:
1. Stay calm. Stay rational. (Mostly, this involves discussing it with Zorak after the boys have gone to bed. At least this way, they think I'm calm and rational, since I am in the morning after
2. I've asked Zorak to email (with cc to me) the Pubah's and ask for clarification and protocol dileantion, as well as what our role in supporting them might be, so that this does not continue to happen. (In other words - we get that you're busy, but this isn't working. How can we help make it better?)
3. Photographs! From now on, I will be photographing the projects that the boys complete on their own. They can type up the documentation. I'll put it together in a nifty two-to-four page spread, print it out, and they can just hand it over. Voila! Project, proof, and woudja-sign-here, please! Also, much easier than transporting blocks and tackles and poster collages that won't make it to the Pubah at any point, anyway.
4. Rum. We're almost out. Not a huge investment, seeing as this last bottle lasted six+ years. No bets on how long the new one will hold out, though.
5. Tally this whole process up under "Life Lessons". This is good training for serving in the military. You have to keep your own copies of your records, or you'll end up getting vaccinated for Measles and Yellow Fever three or four times. Not to mention, you'll never get a bene-sug for the contributions you've made unless you provide thorough documentation.
So, we're good to go. But it's still a bit irritating. Thanks for letting me let off a little steam. If you've been there and have some tips that will help facilitate making this situation better without alienating the boys from their Scout/Den Masters, and without making their jobs harder (I do get that they are volunteers, and they are busy - totally get that, which is why I want to help and not just harrass), I'd love to hear it. Thanks! :-)
Kiss those babies!
~Dy
9 comments:
Oh my. How very irksome. Your boys are so well behaved that in a way it's a disadvantage. I hate it when that happens. Maybe if they both had a well-timed tantrum....
Dry and pimply at same time? Extra Vitamin E might help, and a high quality moisturizer.
That's about all I can offer.
Have a great day!
mere
Hmmm, I don't remember leader approval being necessary for anything under Webelos. You should be able to just bring the signed book in and have the Cubmaster or whoever is keeping records write it all down so that your boys can get their awards on time. BUT I was always a leader, so maybe I'm not remembering correctly?
#2 is a very good idea. They need to be told, very nicely and with offers to help in any way you can, that they are letting the boys down and they need to get their butts in gear. Being a Scout leader is tiring and even with a homeschool troop which often has MUCH more parent involvement, there often aren't enough people offering to help. Sometimes that's because the leaders don't know how to delegate responsibilities or don't want to, but often it's because no one offers to help. If you state your concerns nicely with an offer to help out, the Scout leaders should LOVE you.
You could offer to keep the records for awards and pick them up if you feel up to that. That job is a huge pain and there is always some kid whose mom calls at the last minute after you've already picked up awards to say, "Oh, I forgot" or "Johnny just completed two more belt loops." (It does NOT matter how many times you remind everyone to get their books checked by such and such date or how long before and after meetings you're there. Some parents are irresponsible and/or don't give a dang about your time. That's not you, though.)
#3 is pure genius! This should make it easier on you and the Cubmaster. Maybe you could even just upload the photos and attach them to an email explaining what was done to fulfill the requirement. Then he could just quickly sign the book at the meeting. It sounds like you'll have to stay on him about actually signing, though.
It should not be too late for John to get his Wolf badge. It may be too late for the ceremony, but if he did the work, he should be rewarded. They can buy the badge and give it to him at the next meeting or even put it in the mail. That boy should get his badge!
It really sounds like this Pack is seriously understaffed or leaders are not delegating responsibility enough. Do you have a Pack Committee? Do you feel up to joining it? They usually don't meet that often, but the Pack Committee should make sure things are running smoothly within the Pack and that the leaders are doing what they need to.
That does sound frustrating. I think I'd be feeling just about like you do if they were my kids! You're probably wise to let Zorak handle it, although it sure is difficult not to just take over and do it yourself, isn't it? Your idea of photos and documentation is fantastic. I do hope that works out as a good compromise with the leaders!
Wow, you guys have much more strict guidelines than we do! For us, it is just an Akela saying they did it and they get credit. Our boys really don't have to show them anything either, unless it specifically states that you must show it to your den. Wow. I guess that we've got a pretty sweet deal here.
Btw, Dy, I have been volunteering all week long this week so that I can afford for the boys to go to scout day camp! You know what the best is? I got to try out archery today! I love it!
Hang in there!
I have a good idea. You could create another blog with all of the pictures then let the person who needs to see it, look it up at their leisure. :-D
~sdWTMer
Dear Dy,
Let me teach you a lesson I have learned. It is the mother lion lesson.
This Scoutmaster has a telephone number. When you are at your wits end, you dial that number and with great effort you attempt to graciously talk to him, but because you are at your wits end, your voice shakes with a noticeable bit of anger or frustration (that is why you do this in private, not at the meeting). You tell him that your child has worked SO HARD to do this and that he now has not gotten his Wolf Badge which he work on because he is not important enough in the system to "count". That a child's efforts need to count for something because he has WORKED SO HARD and gotten no recognition for it. Children need to be rewarded for hard work! We are trying to teach them this, and if they get ignored, what message are we sending them? And why on earth is he required to do this if no one cares enough to look at his work? Is this the message they want to send to children and parents?
I believe that we not only protect our children from "bad" guys. We also protect our children from people in organizations who are not giving what they are suppose to give. I've done it several times with AWANA verses--they don't listen to their verses one week, and then the child has to keep those 6 verses in his head while memorizing another 6...and it is WRONG! These children's programs are meant to teach good standards to children, so the adults need to MODEL it.
So, in my opinion, you need to put on your lion's costume and with padded paws discuss this with the Scoutmaster. Sooner than later.
Okay. If you don't want to take my advice, you don't have to. It's just my opinion. LOL! But with each added gray hair on my head, a little more orneriness comes out in me. I'm not the angry woman yelling at the other person, I'm the protective mama who wants justice for her child.
Usually it works very, very nicely, thank you. They get all apologetic and treat you with so much more respect the next time they see you...
Good luck.
Jean
Feeling your pain! We had very similar problems with Q's pack. We tried to be patient, we tried to "help out" in getting stuff done, but as it turned out our pack was run by very disorganized control freaks and we had to switch.
The switch was the best thing we've done in Scouts, much less rigid and much more fun for the boys!
Good luck!
Jean is right. Go to the Cubmaster, and GET that boy his badge! He earned it!!
Jeff was a Cubmaster this year, and I was a leader. For Wolf and Bear, you don't have to show the leader any projects. Your word is all he needs. Your signoff in the book. If the work has been done, and you've signed it off, anything after that is the leader's failure. The leader's failure should NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER keep a boy from advancing. No, no, no, no, NO.
The Leader *does* have to sign everything off in Webelos, but if your leader is not doing his or her job, and talking with him or her gets you nowhere, go to the Cubmaster.
Frankly, since this is happening to you in more than one den, I'd meet with the Cubmaster in person, and then seriously consider another pack.
I am angry for you! Those leaders are not doing right by the kids.
Stephanie (Not in TX)
Oh, AND if you don't get satisfaction from your Cubmaster, go to your Council Rep. They'll be happy to help you.
FYI, there is no actual deadline for earning the rank badge. Not really. Packs impose them for convenience, but it's not something that comes down from Council or anything.
Stephanie again
To Stephanie: At the National level, every boy goes up to the new handbook on June 1. A pack has some leeway to extend the time, but during that extension, he should not also be working out of the next handbook as well. (If wrapping up Wolf, don't take credit for Bear stuff yet.)
Mainly, if a boy joins at the Bear level, he cannot go back and earn Tiger and/or Wolf badges.
To Dy: You have fine advice from other leaders and parents here.
I will point out that in a "perfect" Pack (yet to be seen), the Cubmaster runs the Pack Meetings. A separate Committee Chair runs the pack planning, the pack parent/leader meetings, and oversees the awards chair, den leaders and such. So seek your Committee Chair.
Also in a perfect Pack, there will be a Unit Commissioner. The UC is a knowledgeable, trained Scouter from outside of your Pack who is a neutral guide, resource, fairy godmother, and a more, if you get a solid one.
For you own sanity, you may try what I did. I was a den leader and used Trax for my whole den, but I also use Trax for my daughter's Girl Scout activities because I am way more into Scouting than her leaders are.
http://trax.boy-scouts.net/cubtrax.htm
These are Excel or Open Office spreadsheets already set up with formulas to help leaders or parents track their child's accomplishments and progress.
You could enter everything you know your son has done away from the den, print a copy, then send it to the den leader.
And as a den leader myself, time does run out. I tried to have a time where parents could take over an activity and I could sign handbooks. What was very helpful to me was when parents put Post-It note markers for each place that needed a signature.
Best of luck. Scouting is run by people and that will always make it a more difficult. ;)
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