Why not? (House stuff)

Well, remember that I wrote yesterday that we were approved for a loan on the Forever Home? Yeah. Strike that. I mean, we're still approved. We're good-to-go. But not on that property. Or, rather, not that much property. They won't do a mortgage at X-amount for the full acreage, but might do it for the same money on a third of the acreage... I'm not sure where the hold up is or what is to be done about it. To be honest, I don't see the logic in this process and neither do any of the loan officers I've spoken with today.

My morning began with this phone call:

Mtg. Guy 2: Hi, Mrs. E. I need to get more information from you about this property. I don't know why, but it seems we can't do 84 acres. We can do 30, if the owners will gift you the remaining acreage...

Me: What?

Mtg. Guy 2: Well, it seems we just can't do a mortgage for a house with that much land on it.

Me: Not even for a farm loan?

Mtg. Guy 2: No. It's too much land. I really don't know what the problem is.

Me: Well, that's ok. I appreciate your call, but Mtg. Guy 1 at Company A said we can do it, so we'll go with them.

Mtg. Guy 2: Um, that's who told me we can't.

Me: Guy 1?!?

Mtg. Guy 2: No, some other guy, from the Birmingham office of Company A. He's in charge of what we can do, and he's the one who said that 30 acres is the best we can do on this.

Me: Um... let me call Mtg. Guy 1 and see if he knows anything about this. I'll get back with you.

The next five hours are a series of phone calls to Company A, Companies C through Q, realtor, Jess, the pastor, and Zorak. There was a half hour hyperventilation break in there somewhere.

I finally tracked Mtg. Guy 1 down somewhere in Tennessee, on his cell phone. He's baffled. He has no clue why they wouldn't do it, either. They didn't tell him it can't be done when he submitted it yesterday.

As of four thirty, Mtg. Guy 1 was going to make some phone calls and get back with me. (Still waiting on that, but the business day is over.) Mtg. Guy 2 is waiting to hear back from me what happens with this. Mtg. Guy 3 has three messages on his voice mail. Mtg. Guy 4 has two messages.

Meanwhile, the realtor is supposed to call us tonight with the reply from the heirs about our offer. WEEEEEEEE!!!

As a business decision, this is a no-brainer. Consider the following:
* The property appraises at approximately 12% over the asking loan value. So, there's equity right off the bat, just for carrying the note.
* There's no money in the loan for capital improvements; all improvements are to be paid by the buyer, cash out of our pocket (which has been verified to actually exist). Again, capital improvements with no investment by the bank. Another bonus.
* In three months, that house will appraise at approximately 2/3 more than its current value. (We believe we can double the value, but we can actually guarantee 2/3 increase from the work we will put into it.)
* our credit rating is strong
* Zorak's income more than qualifies to cover the payments. (And on a morbid note, if he dies, he's insured.)
* This is a long-term investment by people who have a 20 year plan; people who have already achieved a seven-year plan in six years. We aren't talking slackers, here.

This is a win-win business deal for the bank. So where is the bank that will take this money-maker and run with it? Anyone? Anyone?

Ugh. So I guess my job now is to find The Guy Who Makes These Decisions and talk with him. In person.

Kiss those babies, and pass the Rescue Remedy.
Dy