Today is a day of great import to the Zorak clan. Today falls among other such great days in my mothering career: the first day I ran errands with just me and the baby (and didn't leave him anywhere, which was my biggest fear! He was such a quiet baby); the first time I got out of the house, with two children, *squeaky voice* before nine thirty AM (John was six months old...); the first time I managed to sit in any office with all three children without losing my place in line because somebody had to pee (I still beam with joy at that one).
Today, *drum roll, please* I took all three children to the pool BY MYSELF!
I've been such a coward with this issue. Not one of the three is a proficient swimmer. I have only two arms, and being a land-based predator, my eyes are not designed for 360' vision. I had fears embedded in my head that I just can't articulate. I've tried to wait for Zorak to go with us in the evenings, and he agrees to go, but poor Zorak really isn't up for heading to the pool after a long day's work. He just wants to wrestle with the boys, enjoy a hot meal, and curl up for a quiet evening. I don't blame him. Heck, I don't even want to swim at the end of a long day. The few folks we know who we could invite to swim with us have more children than we do, so that wouldn't improve the adult/child ratio one bit.
I dig around looking for things to read to them while the boys are growing heavier and less inclined to be active with every day. The extent of their outside activity has been to stand inside and try to gauge the humidity by breathing on the glass. Meanwhile, summer's wasting, and these boys need to learn to swim! So I quit whining. I sucked it up. I also made three false starts getting out of the house (making each child try the bathroom again after each, just to be on the safe side), and we *gulp* did it.
It wasn't so bad. James just needs to be submerged daily for a while and he'll be a regular fishboy. He's overcome his fear of the water, and spent the majority of the time today under water. His enthusiasm is wonderful to see, but I need to do some brain/body connection exercizes with him. That boy just did not inherit his father's coordination (I'm not saying where he got what we're loosely referring to as coordination, mind you.) He'll dive under water and convulse there for 30 seconds, then pop up and shout, "How far did I go?" We definitely need the help of a professional, but the situation isn't hopeless.
Jacob actually swam today with the floaties on - kicked his legs, moved his arms and made forward progress! He just blew me away. Last time we went swimming, he was wound tight as a screw and we could not PRY him off my neck. This time he leapt into the water (to me), begged to swim around off the step, and cried when it was time to go.
John, however, needs serious sedation. Or shock therapy. Two out of three - that's not bad! Do y'all think Rescue Remedy might help his anxiety any?And since the other two aren't palpating my neck for good veins, I can give the extra attention to the one partially-paralyzed child with the Vulcan Death Grip. I am. So. Happy.
After much screaming and wailing on John's part, and a short stint sitting poolside, he did manage to float with the noodle for a millionth of a second before lunging at my head like a flaming lemur. Evidently, the feeling of success was intoxicating (or we've caused some kind of mental trauma and he can now block bad memories within seconds of their occurrence...) As we toweled off and loaded the trusty red wagon, he said, "I was so scared, but I did my best and it worked. I will try that again tomorrow." I raised an eyebrow and thought carefully before opening my mouth (I'm so not good at taking a moment and running with it sometimes). "Oh?" (Eloquent, huh?) "Yeah," he said. "We should come every day." I'm so very proud of him and his attitude toward trying again.
I think we can do this. It was so much easier than I had convinced myself it would be.
Kiss those babies!
~Dy
8 comments:
Dy, I know it seems impossible to imagine right now, but I just want to encourage you with this:
One day you shall know Pool Freedom.
One day you shall shout, "Let's go to the pool!" And your minions will each run off to put on bathing suits and dig out towels. They shall buckle themselves into the car with their own two hands. And you... you, my dear, will TAKE A BOOK WITH YOU. (No, it will not be Pride and Prejudice, because you will still want to keep one eye on the outside world, so it'll have to be something not quite so absorbing.) You will sit on the lounge chair with your book and your children will laugh and splash and dunk each other and play Marco Polo. All without requiring you to set even one toe in the water.
I don't know whether that thought makes you happy or wistful or even downright sad. But I offer it to you as one who has been down the path before you. The day is coming. Pool Freedom shall be yours. You will have earned it.
I hear you Dy! I haven't blogged about it but I took my 4 to a friends pool the other day (public pools are way too scary for me right now lol). Just to give you an idea of how it went, here are a few highlights:
- Ryan swims beautifully but doesn't know how to be careful to watch for people before he jumps.
- Alyssa is petrified even though she *can* touch and is in fact one of the lemurs you mentioned, accompanied with screams of panic whenever she's away from me or the edge.
- Craig promptly jumped in without me realizing it. I stared blankly at his drowning body from outside the pool, pondering how to save him with Isabelle in my arms. All this while he looked on calmly, submerged up to his eyeballs, confident I *will* save him...eventually
- And Isabelle, ahhh Isabelle. The baby that cried last year at the sight of any pool. She decided this year that she could swim. So, I finally let her go to show her that she would indeed sink and she thought it was funny. Apparantly she learned from her waterbirth how to not inhale water while under...lol
It was a nightmare to hold a baby that didn't want to be held while watching a child that didn't care if he drowned, while fighting off a child that didn't need to be held, and trying to supervise a houdini child with no regard to others.
*sigh* are we having fun yet?
Pool freedom sounds so nice...LOL
I'm glad things went well for you today. And I'm also glad you posted this. I get so freaked out sometimes about taking all three boys somewhere by myself, and it never dawned on me that perhaps I was normal in this. :D
It will get easier!
We were raised in the water, as a boating and camping family, it was essential. My mother loves to tell the story of how I learned to swim. I was three years old and I fell in my grandparents pool. (The whole family was there and my dad was in the pool) My mother and grandmother began to hyperventilate because my grandfather said, let her alone, she'll get it. And I did! Seriously that is a true story. Legend has it, I did not want to get out of the pool for the whole rest of the summer.
You are doing them a tremendous service, introducing them to water so young. They will be swimming like Ian Thorpe in no time. (Maybe with a few gold medals to boot!)
Laney
p.s. Lest you think my family is a bunch of sadists, (letting a little girl fall in a pool and not rescuing her will lend that kind of thinking) my grandfather was my hero and would not have let me drown.
We had a very rough time with our middle child for a couple of years. My in-laws have a pool and we had spent a lot of time with him, but for a while he was just totally terrified. We had to actually bribe him with candy to get him to put his head under. Now, he's fine.
I felt really important when I took all three kids to a movie by myself....um.... that was just last summer.
I thought I was the only meany in the world. MB asks me daily to take her to the neighbors pool (we have an agreement with them and can swim whenever we want). MB is the only one that can swim at this point. I can sit and watch her, but managing the other two scare me.
Keeping EM happy and out of the sun, when she does not want to sit in her car seat.
K totally scares me at the pool. She is so excited when she sees a pool she can barely contaon herself and runs right up to the edge. But as soon as her body is in the water she becomes a cat, body arching, ear piercing squeals and sharp nails embedded beneath my skin.
All while, MB is bobbing next to me, "Play with me. Watch me do this."
Yep, that is a relaxing trip.
Pools are my husband's business, so I let him take control on that one here at home too.
Amy in Apex
That is truly an accomplishment! One woman, two arms, three kids!
My three are spaced out a bit more at the end, so it's only the littlest maniac I must keep an eye on. She's a good swimmer, along with her sisters, but she also likes to perform backflips and high dives.
Hurray for John!
LOL!! Good for you! Another notch in your mama belt!
I also have irrational (or rational, whichever you prefer) fears about the pool by myself with the kids. This year was the first time for me by myself and they are 4, 6 and 7! We went to the beach- I stationed myself halfway between the beach and the rope, where the water was about 4 feet deep. My daughter swam on the rope side, my boys swam on the beach side and I kept watch like a hawk. Luckily, I don't have any that are clingy in the water anymore so that helps.
All I can say is that I can totally relate and good for you!! ;)
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