Tuesday, April 15

Encounters with the Outside World.

Found another great online book site via the WTM boards yesterday. Printed off a short story by P.G. Wodehouse, and enjoyed a lovely evening curled up in bed to read. After the day I had yesterday, this was just what the doctor ordered. Enjoy!
Classic Reader

Yesterday at the ball field was miserable. It was only 43 degrees when we got there, with winds 12-16mph. Zorak is TDY this week, so it's just me and the little guys. Otherwise, I'd have stayed home with the three smallest! I tried to stay in the snack shack with the littles, but got tired of being the only adult in a room full of unwatched children. You know, parents might want to touch base with their little girls, and keep an idea of what's going on. Too much unsupervised down-time with other kids is one time-honored way for good kids to find the wrong path, and boy are those paths abundant and appealing when you're 12 years old, no matter how bright, sweet, and smart you are. They're still just kids, and they're pretty susceptible to visits from the Bad Idea Fairy. *sigh*

One little boy in particular, though, just about found himself yanked up by the nape of his neck and hung from the coat rack. He walked in and immediately began interrupting our conversations to interject ugly things about random children, kicked his sister repeatedly (and I mean *kicked* - he wasn't playing, he was out to hurt her, and when she tried to walk away, he'd follow her and trip her), and rounded the whole performance off by swearing at anyone who would listen, complaining about his horrible mother and how, "The woman won't give me another freakin' dollar!" He started there, and ramped up to the Big Words in no time. James' game had already begun, but John and Smidge were with me, and they were just floored by the way this kid behaved.

I'll admit it, I stepped in. The interrupting, I could handle. He's five. Kids interrupt and need gentle reminders that it's not okay. So, I gently reminded. It didn't do much good, but I kept reminding and he did eventually wait for me to stop talking before he mouthed off. It was the kicking that put me over the edge, though, and I told him in no uncertain terms that it was not okay, that I have a serious problem with it, and that he had to stop. right. now. or get out. He left for a little, then came back in and began the swearing session. At least he kept his feet to himself. After only two minutes of the swearing, though, I had to say something, again. And again, when he sassed back. "The swearing isn't going to help you get what you want, you're smart enough to think of other ways to express your displeasure, and the rest of us do not need to be held captive by this venom. Period. Come on, kiddo, you can do better. I believe in you. Give it a try." He did finally realize a few things: I'm serious, I'm not backing down, I won't be cowed by a five-year-old child, and I'm right. He stopped! Glory, hallelujah! His sister's eyes were enormous, and her mouth hung open as she stood there, watching the exchange. Gah, does nobody tell this child "no"? He's still little. He doesn't have to be a bully or a demon-kid. There's a sweet little boy under all that ugly crust. But you know, by that point I was just raw around the edges and it was clear that I wouldn't be able to keep an eye on Smidge and Em and keep Jason comforted, while trying to prevent the inmates from setting the asylum on fire. So we went out into the cold. Yuck. When James' game ended, I told John's coach that I couldn't hang with the big dogs anymore and had to leave early. He was good about it.

We came home, had banana bread and hot chocolate, and the kids were very helpful in getting everybody rounded up and into bed. John helped Smidge with his toothbrushing. Smidge let him. WOOHOO! James read bedtime stories to Emily. He fell for the "one more story" fillibuster several times, then bolted down the hallway, panting, "I had to run before she could ask for one more!" They make me laugh. Jason, bless him, went to sleep at ten and stayed asleep until four, and I took full advantage of that little reprieve to get some rest, myself!

We have to be there again today. This time, I'm taking the sleeping bag, a thermos of hot chocolate, a big batch of these awesome turnovers from Chris' blog, and plenty of things for the kids to do. We'll take Set and Quiddler, some crayons and activity books, some stories, and some drawing pads. It'll be okay. And it'll be available to anyone who wants to join us. It's all good. I was just caught off-guard yesterday. But that's okay. We all learn as we go, right?

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

10 comments:

mere said...

First of all, you are awesome. I would not have had such patience. That poor kid. I hope his parents get a clue some day.

Secondly, isn't it nice to be able to come home to a haven of comfort and nice children? That is just what home should be.

I'm gonna go hug my babies.

mere

Mom2legomaniacs said...

You are an amazing woman and an awesome momma. What an example you set for the rest of us. Thanks for being such a blessing! I just *have* to meet you in person! Perhaps after soccer season is over we can try again.
Say hi to your kids from my boys.
melissa

Anonymous said...

Dy, this anecdote confirms what I've understood since I began reading your blog: I think you're an awesome mom and any kid who has you in his life is very lucky, indeed. I keep re-reading what you told the 5-year old, and it's chock full of positive parenting and a healthy belief that kids are basically good who need a little push to do the right thing. Love it!
Josh

Meliss said...

Sounds like James and John are wonderful big brothers!

Staci Eastin said...

Did I mention that I watched a soccer game in the SLEET on Sunday. I feel your pain.

Hopefully it will be warmer today. That will certainly help.

Good for you for helping that little boy see a better way to be. Hopefully some of it stuck. You handled him much better than I handled the kids throwing rocks and calling my youngest and I "Weiner Heads." I just glared. Not constructive.

Emily (Laundry and Lullabies) said...

I'm so impressed with how you handled that five year old. Way to step in and do the right thing! It makes me so sad, though, that children like that even exist. I mean, what are their parents thinking? And if they can't control their five year old, what happens when he's thirteen? I guess that's why we have gangs in LA. So sad.

Dy said...

Wow, thanks, guys. I have to say that with the whole hanging-by-the-nape-of-his-neck image running rampant in my head, I didn't feel like a particularly good parent at the moment. I wanted to scream and cry and probably throw a big ol' fit all over his parents, to be honest. So, thanks for the encouragement to do the right thing. I appreciate that.

Staci, ok, now the phrase "Weiner Heads" is going to make me chuckle to myself at random points during practice tonight. There goes my hope that they won't stage an AA intervention for me at the end of the season, eh? ;-)

Dy

J-Lynn said...

Hey, tell James I fell for the "one more story..." fillibuster when he was a baby! Until I called you up and said, "Do you *really* read to him 5 times before bed?" LOLOL He is a smart one that kid. ;-)

I'm sorry about your "Lord of the Flies" experience, we run into those occassionally too, kudus for you handing it so well. Maybe you've planted a seed in that little boy.

Hugs

Anonymous said...

Wow, that is hard to believe that a 5 year old could behave some horribly. Unsupervised down time is, unfortunately, something a lot of today's parents covet. Gives them time to do "their own thing" while assuring themselves that their kids will be fine. Even my 14 year old isn't allowed to just "hang out" for long, especially with kids I don't know.

I've been reading, but I haven't commnted lately. Congratulations on your newest little bundle. He's adorable. :)
-Gretchen

Jenni said...

Good for you, Dy! Maybe that little boy will remember some of what you told him and be better for it. Five! Wow.