Thursday, September 7

Laughing Lessons

We haven't been laughing much lately. We've wanted to, but we've allowed other things to get in the way. Some of it needs to be addressed: obedience, respect, kindness, honesty. Some of it doesn't need the attention it's been getting, but rather just needs the gentle consistency that I completely lack. (I'm consistent, but far from gentle - that whole meek, quiet, gentle thing somehow got caught in the genetic filter of my parentage. Science has yet to come up with anything to remedy that, shy of a partial lobotomy. So, I'll keep working on it, but let's not push it.) And some of it is that we forget why we're doing what we're doing.

Today, I learned more than was jotted down in my planner. I hope to hold on to these lessons and use them before they slip away and I'm left wondering if I actually thought it, or just dreamed it, or if I'm plagarizing someone and going to lose my shirt over it.

Lesson I: Signs of encouragement:
* High-fives are a great way to say, "Good Job!"

* But a hug is even better for fostering smiles.

* Doing both will never hurt you, nor sap your day of precious time. Instead, the time spent : benefits received ratio is pretty darned high. It is guaranteed to benefit at least one, if not both parties involved.

* Encouragement is contagious, and the best way to spread it around is to just start in with it.

* If what you're doing isn't working, it's not necessarily the child.

* It's not necessarily you.

* It could actually be what you're doing.

Lesson II: Signs your child is bored and that it wouldn't hurt to change things around a bit:
* He's doing his math problems upside-down AND backward, and still getting the right answers.
* He's writing his answers in made up languages that only he can translate.
* With his non-dominant hand.
* In cursive.

Lesson III: Reminders that This Is Why We Homeschool:
* Wonderful friends who point out that you don't have to do every page, you know. If they don't get, try a new approach. But if they've got it, move on. (Residual Saxon guilt, I suppose. Thank you, LB!)
* Mastery vs. grades. I'm not assigning a grade until it's an "A". This does not mean they're going to coast and get straight "A" grades just because. It means the content they cover, they will know, and they will know it well. That is delightfully freeing.
* There is nothing wrong with asking a child how it's going, and then giving credence to what he/she has to say. Rather, that's the point, isn't it? How can we know if we don't ask, and how will they learn to articulate if we don't offer them the opportunity to do it in a safe and nourishing environment?

So today, there were Lessons for Mom tucked in among the worksheets and chants and stories. It was a good day for me, and tonight, for the first time in a long time, we gigled and laughed. We made sound effects and jokes and silliness. There were smiles and giggles and snorty guffaws. We needed that. We all did.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

5 comments:

Needleroozer said...

Yup. I remember when the Boy was about that age, and would write his answers in "foreign" languages. It's funny now, but I wish I had had you to talk to back then.
I need to high five my kids a heck of a lot more often- not to mention giggling a little bit.
Thanks for the reminder- maybe I need to get the puppets out again, hmm?
Hugs,
LB

Anonymous said...

You, not gentle? I truly cannot imagine that. Really! Gimme an example of not gentle, please?

If you're not gentle, I must be a complete brute. :(

Dy said...

Oh, Andie, the examples are too numerous to include in a comment box, and too embarrassing to blog out there on the front page.

Our excuse lately (for both Zorak and I) is that my mother is trying to channel through us to get to the kids. We catch her once in a while, and eyeball each other with Very Suspicious Looks until she gets uncomfortable and goes away. But it's tough, I'll tell ya.

It's something I work on daily. Sometimes hourly. On the bright side, I'm much better now than I was five years ago. And scads less Fordesque (new word alert!) than I was ten years ago. So. That's not much, but it's something.

Dy

Becca said...

Yup, I definitely need to do more laughing and hugging and a bit less of the stern disciplinarian. I'm constantly amazed at the changes in their behavior when I change mine. I wish it would sink in sometime soon!

Anonymous said...

I always love that bit at the end of your blog "kiss those babies". It always reminds me that the boys will soon be men. So like you I am committed to laughing, giggling, high fives and lots of silliness with them whilst there is still time :)