Boring Technical Blog For Hillary

I have to laugh, here, because Hillary is like the loving, worry-wart sister that I never had. I feel like I've been adopted. :-) However, knowing that we've hashed all that stuff out on our end doesn't help much, considering I haven't blogged about it. So, I thank you for the hugs and care, Hillary, and will try to answer your questions the best I can. Let me know if I miss anything pertinent, though.

Where to start? Well, thanks to the bureaucracy that is our federal government, the presence of the mold was an issue that had to be dealt with before anything else (in this case, the causes of the mold) could be dealt with. Think of it as the medical model of home care: we don't care what the problem is, but we'll treat the symptoms, spend a ton of your money doing it, and then that rash will clear right up and you can be on your way! Oh, sure you'll still be sick as a dog, but you'll look and feel better (and we'll have your money).

The two thousand dollars spent (thankfully, not by us) to do the mold abatement was stoopid. Worse, it was a travesty of common sense perpetrated by Jackasses of the highest FHA Executive level. There is *no* mold on the surfaces of the inside of the home now. None. There were less than two spores per square inch, and the expected level is much higher than that. For that, sure I'm thankful. It makes the upcoming task a little less gruesome, visually. But not only was that not the cause of the problem, 98% of those surfaces are going to be ripped out this weekend, so that was an awful lot of money for nothing. I'll get the appraisal pictures and show ya. It was "ew", and now it's "not so ew", but the actual cause of the mold hasn't been touched.

Now, this bothers me, not because I feel we'd be better off living with small children in a mold-infested home. Rather, because I feel we are capable, intelligent individuals who take our role as parental units quite seriously and to be honest, our standards are actually higher than the G-man Standards. The difference is in the approach. We would much rather to have closed on this place before it was a Ch-ch-ch-chia house, thus saving our money on rent and utilities here, letting the other involved parties save their money, as well... and we would still have taken the same path I'll outline below.

Why? Because it's our home. It's also our blood, sweat, tears, and finances that are going into this place. So, we signed sixteen pages of mold disclosure papers two months ago. We received the Federal Mold Statement in three different forms (one including pictures, just to make sure we get it). We were informed by both the Mortgage Co. and Wonderful Realtor of all available exits and how to use our oxygen masks in case of cabin decompression. We were informed consumers who were willing to address the issue in the best manner possible, but you know, the holistic approach is just voodoo for the ignorant masses and gee-isn't-it-wonderful-to-have-a-gov't-looking-out-for-us-ignorant-plebes. That's where this whole hurdle sticks in my craw just a wee bit.

The boys will be exiled to the outside until the property is farther along its path and ready to go. In preparation for that, we're having the entire thing bush hogged tomorrow, and putting up a play area at the top of the hill. This will be their sanctuary, where the boys can play, picnic, and frolic in the relative safety of the out-of-doors. We'll BBQ and make sandwiches, and they'll learn that the cooler is a great portable fridge (and yes, you still need to shut the door when you're done!)

So, now that all the current mold is dead (and that's the stuff that was floating about in the house when Mr. Mold Inspector did his air test - he is confident that consistent airing and the corrective measures we propose will eradicate the issue), we'll have to work fast in order to stop the water infiltration (ie., cause of the mold) before the mold can regroup and launch another attack. We have, fortunately, had plenty of time to process our action plan and come up with some nifty ideas that range from decorative (ohhhh, what if we just don't put in upper cabinets?) to structural (that kitchen wall is comin' out, baby!), and on to health and safety (look, leaking pipes! probably oughta do something about that, eh?). It's been good. Before we move into the house, the actual problems that have brought mold into our abode will be addressed.

The problems as we have been able to identify so far are as follows, with corrective measures in red. First, we will turn off the water to the place. That, alone, will do tremendous strategic damage to the march of the mold. Then, it's on to corrective action:
1) Water heater leaks - replace water heater (also upgrade to propane at the same time)
2) Pipes leak - replace leaking pipes (also, switching to a PEX manifold system, swanky!)
3) There is an unfinished, vile, scary, SCARY dank crawl space sort of torture cellar thing behind the basement. It makes the landscape of LUD look well-ventilated and healthy - this room needs to be cleaned, dried, tarred, and then closed for all eternity. This room is also on the uphill side of the house, which leads us to the next problem...
4) The gutters dump ALL the water from the back two quadrants of the house right there into that uppermost corner, where the water seeps into the scary Koontz family photo studio - reroute gutters to improve drainage.
5) Every outside water faucet leaks constantly, leaving a mire of sludge to seep into the basement - we're capping these and will decide what to do with them later.
6) The house is on a hill and the drainage on the uphill side isn't an engineer's crowning achievement - we'll regrade the top of the hill (it's small) and put in a French Drain.
7) The doors to the basement don't shut properly - we will change that, then, won't we?

Truthfully, these are all minor issues that a little forethought and regular maintenance could have avoided. Once they're taken in hand, it will be easy, and these projects will be among our daily activities for the next three weeks. (Note: don't expect spectacular blogging.) They'll run somewhat parallel with removing all the interior walls, cabinetry, appliances, insulation, flooring and subflooring, checking/upgrading the wiring, and then laying all new materials from top to bottom. The two rooms which must be completely finished before we can move into it are the main bath and the kitchen. Two bedrooms do need to have drywall back up, but not necessarily taken to their soon-to-be exquisite state. That will come.

However, the short version is that yes, the boys will be safe. No, we wouldn't knowingly put them in a position that would harm them or cause their precious lives to be lessened. Honestly, we've seen worse conditions in fully approved rental properties (not sure if that's encouraging or not, but there it is). We do feel this is a good investment that is 100% do-able, as long as we're a team. I wouldn't touch this place with a 50' pole if I was alone in the world, but then, I wouldn't need a Forever Home for my wonderful family, then, either.

Tomorrow's going to be a busy day, so I'm signing off. Kiss those babies!
~Dy