Monday, November 15

Big Cities, Little Towns

Perspective is a funny thing. I was talking with a friend this morning about stop lights and how the small town next to the small town I grew up in (I mean, there's small, and then there's s-m-all...) now has eight stoplights. She laughed and said they have more than her town does. Hers has four. Of course, her four stoplights are in a one-mile stretch of road, completely ensconced on all sides by structures and people and cars... the town I was talking about has its eight lights spread out over twelve miles of highway, with mostly dirt roads and horses at each intersection, and there are more spots of prairie land than buildings in between. Perspective. It's a funny thing.

Sort of like the emotional backlash from this election. I've tried my best to avoid it, and now it's just reached a ridiculous point. So, some thoughts on this:

Based on the behavior that's been exhibited recently, I don't think Canada particularly wants the blue states! Seriously, the crime rate alone in the blue states would be enough to make Canada rethink their position on immigration. Canadians, or at least the ones I've come across, are a kindhearted, helpful lot. They aren't big on being nasty just because they have free speech. Really. They don't riot and tear up their own communities when things don't go their way. (They don't riot and tear up their own cities when things do go their way.) They aren't big on divisiveness, and don't pack around cardboard and magic markers just in case there's something to throw a fit about while they're out 'n about. I think y'all might want to rethink that whole portion of the tirade. On an individual basis, sure, you're welcome here and there. But as a whole, I'm pretty certain Canada is glad they don't have to live with any of us, the way we've been behaving lately.

Then, Staci stole my blog topic for last night, too! Go here and read her thoughts.

Back?

My favorite quote (among many) is this bit:
I once made my home in one of these scattered dots of blue. I lived in the city, in the heart of a major medical complex. For seven years I lived and worked in this multicultural, multiracial area of the city, surrounded by the museums and centers of research and learning. People there worried about paying the bills and how their kids were doing in school. They discussed Monday Night Football on Tuesday mornings and what was on Seinfeld on Friday mornings. They were, in short, no different from the people I live amongst now.


Yeah, what she said. I'm truly amazed at the level of propaganda-like demonizing that has taken root in America. Have we forgotten that there are actual individuals on both sides of the political spectrum? Come on, folks. Enough. I've read such overblown things as folks being "afraid of" those who voted for Bush... mmhmm, really? That is the saddest thing I've heard in a while. And I loved, (I mean really loved) the F*** Iowa sign I saw the other day. What in the WORLD is that all about?

Truly, with the possible exception of a few on the fringe of the fringe (the hard-core Communists, the hard-core anarchists, and, well, almost everyone who marched in the "How Berkeley Can You Be" parade, but perhaps even some of them), we want the same things. We want to live our lives, pay our bills, raise our families, enjoy the life and love that we have been given, be involved citizens, and not be killed by our own government (or another government). Really. We do. On all sides. Left, Right, Middle, even those who use a different scale entirely. We disagree on how best to do that, and that's ok. That's why we have elections and it's a matter-of-course that when there are two sides in an election, someone is always going to be "disenfranchised" (which, to me, ought to be a term reserved for folks who get their Waffle House licensing pulled, but maybe that's just me.) Had the election gone the other way, these same groups would not be as gracious about winning (based on the outcome of two Clinton victories) and if the "red staters" behaved this way, there would be an almost deafening cry to quit whining (again, based on two Clinton victories).

I'm actually quite amazed at the amount of graciousness that's been shown, for the most part, on behalf of those who supported Bush. I didn't expect it, but am glad to have seen it. At least in the circles we run in, which contain both Lefties, Righties and Just-Stay-The-Heck-Out-Of-My-Life-ies, there has been no gloating and bossy in-your-face nastiness from the conservative end of the group. But there's been plenty of wailing and gnashing of teeth and ad hominem attacks from the more liberal ones. Please just stop. Listen to yourselves. Is this the inclusiveness and diversity you support? Is this the respect and "live and let live" that you preach? It doesn't sound like it.

You know, 90% of Zorak's family probably voted for "the other guy", and yet I am willing to say with a certain amount of confidence that when we visit with them, there will be no tarring and feathering. There will be no burning in effigy or berating and abusing. I'm also pretty sure we won't have to sleep in the back yard or the driveway. There may be some good-natured jesting. (Uncle Fred loves to play devil's advocate- for either side- and he's intelligent enough to do it well.) There will be food. There will be card games. There will be hugs and laughter and happiness. Jesusland meets the United States of Canada, if you will. And I can't wait! We love these folks, and they love us. We certainly don't see eye to eye on, well, on just about anything when it comes to politics, but that doesn't mean we can't love one another and dote on each other's children. It doesn't make one side or the other awful human beings. How sad to think what we would lose if we drew lines of civility based on agreement with our philosophies...

Finally, please, please tell me that in spite of what the media has said, some of you out there do understand that many people who voted for Bush did so because on a very basic level, we just do not agree with the majority of the Democratic platform. We just don't agree with you, not socially or fiscally or philosophically. For many (more than I think you imagine), it wasn't about God or fundamentalism or even showing support for the so-called "Marriage Protection Act". Zorak summed it up well when he suggested we get two bumper stickers for the Suburban:

Follow me to Jesusland!

and

Smoke Pot and Worship Satan!

"Just to keep 'em guessing," he said with a smile. He said it in jest, but I think it reflects the importance of being able to keep your head, keep your sense of humor, and think for yourself, no matter what's going on around you.

Our kitchen table has room for everyone, and my ideal dinner party guest list would be beautifully diverse in many regards, but not-so-diverse in one aspect: it would be filled with great people I adore and admire. That may be the only thing many of them have in common, too. Enough with the bashing and the fearmongering- from everyone. Here, have a cup of coffee and some chocolate. We have children to raise and communities to improve.

~Dy

6 comments:

Tenniel said...

Great post Dy! I agree with you, just last night Serona and I were having a long discussion about this. As you know we campaigned for Bush and we had a NYT reporter follow us on election day. I watched her try to paint us into a box - right wing, conservative christian homeschooler. She was frustrated she could not and guess what - after spending hours with us, taking many photos and talking to me for another hour on the phone we did not make her story - but people she talked to quite breifly did. Why? Because I was not the example she was looking for so she choose to eliminate us from the story all togther rather than show that there are many different kinds of people who voted for Bush and even are Republicans. She was really interested in the fact that we campaigned for Nader in 2000 and still voted for Bush (populist at heart we are) then and that we were so actively campaigning for him now.

Our bumper stickers "Dismantle the Nukes", "Live Simply so Others May Simply Live", "Protect the Earth" and "Bush/Cheney 2004" just did not make sense to her or to many others. We are environmentalists, vegetarians, Chrisitans, homeschoolers, social justice activists and very active Republicans. We live in a "blue state" but our area went overwhelmingly "red" as did many around us. We voted for many reasons but are being painted into this "right wing evangelical" box. When the reporter was not getting the answers she wanted she kept trying a different way to get me to say what she wanted, finally she gave up and our family's story did not make it to the New York Times.

Am I surprised? No. Am I frustrated? No. We need to just keep getting along and not let the media control and form our perceptions about one another. The media is unhappy that he got elected and I honestly believe many of them simply do not get it. That is why we have blogs, radio shows and our local editorial pages. I am from a strong democratic family as well and we still love one another and we move on.

Peace,
Tenn

Anonymous said...

I was raised by Democrats, too. :o) One of my recent, 'Gosh, that's love!' moments came when my hippie, Democrat mom taped the night of the Republican convention for me that had Arnold Schwarzenegger's speech. She did it with no (okay, very mild) eye rolling, and yes, made sure that I knew she left the room and closed the door...but she did it. Because she loves me. :o) Yes, I debrief my kids after 'PawPaw' or whoever gives them the same ol' 'Republicans don't like poor people' speech that I got as a kid, but we listen to each other, and it all works out in the end.

My best friend from high school is a Democrat, single, and a public schoolteacher. Our saying is, 'The cattleman and the farmer *CAN* be friends'. We don't sugar coat our beliefs, we're just respectful when we air them. Okay, sometimes we're witty or borderline sarcastic, but for us, that's about as good as it gets, lol.

Jill in OK

Kim said...

What a great post, Dy! Thank you for saying nice things about Canada. A lot of fellow-Canadians don't think there is a patriotic bone in our collective body, but I am a patriotic Canadian. And no, we would prefer it if your country remained united and kept your "blue states" although there are definitely places that would welcome them. Although, the crime rate of those states which you spoke of might just get Canada to re-think its Young Offenders Act, so maybe we would take a few!

Here in Canada, we understand divisiveness. Heck, our country seems to be built on it. When I was 10yo, I moved from the west to Ontario, and I was a "redneck." When I moved from Ontario to Alberta, I was an "eastern snob." When I moved back to Ontario from Alberta, I was a "western separatist." I have not been a Quebec separatist as of yet, but give me time :-) Quebec has had two referendums to vote on having sovereignty (well, something along those lines; no one is ever sure) and I know of friends from Quebec who have been given the cold shoulder when they have moved to other parts of Canada. It isn't nice.

Bec said...

Nicely stated, Dy.

Teribear68 said...

Applauding wildly. Yes Dy! Thank you!

Staci Eastin said...

I suppose great minds think alike!

My hometown now has three stoplights, but in my growing up years there was just one. I feel like I'm in the big city now, because the town we live in now has a mall.

Great thoughts, also. I always love to read what you've written.