Monday, October 10

The Remodel, Day 3

Tired of this, yet? Well, tomorrow you get a reprieve. Since I don't scrapbook and don't keep a journal, the blog gets it all - the great stuff and the tedious stuff. Today was not *quite* tedious, but it was not one of our more stellar days.

The boys explored the freshly mown meadows and pastures. They found a "hidden path" and are dying to show it to me, so we'll have to check that out Friday when we head back out for a full day. Or perhaps the boys and I will head out solo during the week and just spend some time enjoying the place without me yelling, "Look out below!" as the bulk of our conversation.

A neighbor dog showed up during lunch. I leaned over the balcony and gave it my best nasal, from-the-diaphragm, "Gidonouttaheah!" It wagged its tail and came up the steps. Ok, so it's friendly. Stupid, but friendly. The dog shadowed the boys the rest of the day and they had a great, great time. The dog has a rabies vaccine tag, but no ID tag of any kind. It left in a bit of a huff when I blocked the balcony come supper time, but I'm sure it'll be back - boys, food, sticks, and belly rubs, what dog wouldn't enjoy the occasional visit to that place, right?

The boys are faring well. They're chatty and helpful. They get off-kilter and need to snuggle. They needed a lot of redirection this morning, and I think they're ready for a break. It's okay. Zorak and I remember being these ages (well, except for Smidge - we're clueless about being two, other than that it seems to be a very exciting era in one's life), and so we try to remember to take breaks, have snacks, hold hands, tell jokes, and look at neat bugs. It does cut back on the productivity of the demolition aspect of the house, but it aids tremendously on the creation-of-a-home aspect of the project.

James burned his thumb on a piece of wood today. He told me about it and showed it to me. On the inside, I dove right into a huge lecture about knowing better and following directions and blah, blah, blah. Then I smacked myself upside the head and realized a) he probably won't do that again, b) he told me of his own volition - and how often do we have the opportunity to reinforce the trust we want to build in such an obvious, no-brainer way, and c) that really looked like it hurt. So we treated it and looked at it (you know, 'cuz that's a really cool science lesson!) We snuggled and I empathized. What could have been a camel-kicking session turned into an exploratory hike. That was very cool. I hope to catch more of those, more consistently.

Thinking back on my Living Intentionally post, I want to point out that this isn't a "look at what a great job I'm doing" segue, but this is one of the direct side effects of Living Intentionally. I can vouch for the effort, as just in the past week or so, we've felt a difference in our little corner of the world. Don't get discouraged, just keep going at it. Life will never be calm or cozy or predictable 100% of the time, but it can be good. Very, very good, indeed.

Zorak and I... um... are finding our groove. How's that? That sound okay? We are each motivated by very different things, and approach things in different ways. It's good. The house needs both methods of attack. The boys need both styles of parenting. The life we have would be horribly dull without these complementary perspectives. The meshing process may kill one or both of us, but still, even with the grinding gears and occasional stalled engines (figuratively speaking! Thankfully, the Suburban is healthy and sound), today was a productive day.

Zorak Smidge-proofed the balcony (the rails on it are spaced just wide enough apart for a large-headed two year-old to fly clean through with nothing to slow his acceleration. This nifty new feature is worth its weight in gold. We both breathe easier now, and the boys can eat on the balcony, where only the bees have found them so far but the ants have yet to venture.

He built a two-shelf workbench using some of the many interior doors we ripped out. It's nice to have a work surface now, and that thing will probably get much use before it's broken down for the fire. He also inspected the chimney on the scary-wall and cleaned out the gutters (ew), where he uprooted a couple of trees (yes, trees growing IN the gutters) and dumped out many cubic feet of what looks like the richest mulch I've ever seen! Wow. We'll probably need to replace the gutters, but can wait until Spring, at least. He also managed to get the debris pile down to a manageable level, which was not only encouraging for he and I, but tons of fun for the kids!

I worked on the living room and did manage to get all the paneling off in there. A quarter of it was pretty tough because the popcorn ceiling (a pox on the evil sob who invented that crap) is sagging under the weight of the now-collapsed blown newspaper insulation in the attic (more pox! Come to think of it, pestilence all around!). So while the paneling would come off the wall, it then stayed tightly wedged between the sagging ceiling and the six-inch deep, damp shag carpet (ok, not quite six inches, but the living room is 26x18 and by the time I hit the last wall I swear it felt like the carpet was that deep or deeper!)

Once the living room was comfortably bare, I tried to finish the bathroom, but the tile wall stalled me in there - I got one wall of that stuff off and almost doubled the cubic space in that bathroom! *grin* I'm too wobbly to be able to get a good stance to do the back wall of the tub, though, so Zorak had to step in at the end of the day and handle the tiles. It's almost done now, just need to haul out the broken tiles from the tub before it falls through the floor into the basement. We have a dumpster coming on Friday and I suppose it'll wait until then.

Then on to the kitchen remnants, where I did get the rest of the kitchen paneling out. Ew. Zorak wants the built-in bookshelves for the basement (they currently face the living room on that kitchen wall that's marked for destruction to open the two spaces). I simply don't get things out in one piece, so that's waiting on him, and I did not get to view my new kitchen/living room layout in all its nekkid glory today. That was a bit of a bummer for me, as I was really looking forward to that. But that's okay, it'll all come together this week.

And on that note, my dryer just buzzed (I have three days worth of maternity clothes and haven't done wash in four days - ew - so yes, I'm up when I ought to be in bed). I'm going to switch out a load and go tuck the boys in, then hit the hay myself. Have a lovely Tuesday!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Sunday, October 9

The Remodel, Day 2

Well, that was interesting!

We got out there earlier than yesterday, pulled into the drive and put on our game faces. We handed out tasks, pry bars, and water bottles to the boys and they quickly disappeared into the grass. Zorak started in on the last bit of the kitchen (where, yesterday, I had unearthed an alien rodent lair and immediately ran like a scalded cat, with the same look on my face as those women in horror flicks who find the bodies). I skirted the kitchen and began chipping trim off the living room, talking to myself, making silly faces, slipping off the scaffolding, and in general having a grand old morning. The trim off, I prepared to do the paneling (eyes wide, hands trembling with anticipation, here - this is exciting stuff). I pulled off the first piece of paneling and set it aside. Pulled off the second piece of paneling and inhaled sharply. Then I realized I'd just inhaled sharply, and did it again. Then I did the bolting cat thing again, trying very hard to sound calm as I mumbled (I had my hand over my mouth and mask), "HMY!! HMY Mew nob ooo cub n eeer ud lrk a' thid!" Fortunately, Zorak is fluent in most of the female languages, so he came in here to look at this.

After Zorak pulled down the black insulation and peeled back (or rather touched and then watched as they cascaded onto the floor) the crumbling chunks of drywall and pine needles, our home appeared to have nothing between the studs and the old external brick fascade but a thin, damp wall of sheetrock. *hiccough-y breathing and v-e-r-y s-l-o-w speech was about all we could manage* Where's the plywood? Where's the chicken wire? Where's the Tyvek (or a comparable brand name that would've been around when the house was built)? Heck, where are the black plastic trash bags? Work with us, here!!! Give us something! At one point, as we wallowed in the shock, Zorak actually said, "Well, I hear sheathing is nice in the fall, and looks good on the exterior..." *deep breath, but it's still that stuttery breath* Ok. I love you. I love you, too. This will be ok. Well, *&%#. *sigh* Yeah. But it will be okay. We'll just... have... to... adjust. NO! Wait, rip out that wall over there!

We scampered across the room like vagabond children demolishing a home in search of treasure. (Who knew Captain Kidd's treasure was actually just vapor barier?) We ripped off that paneling. The insulation is only partly black... the studs are dry... but CRAP, what is that stuff behind the studs?? *whine* It looks just like damp sheetrock, although on that side of the house it's in good shape - you know, for damp sheetrock.

Zorak mentioned that this may well be, as The Big Lebowski would say, "S*** we're not privvy to." However, he figured he might know someone who IS privvy. So, he called His Buddy Who Knows Stuff (BWKS) and asked him about it. Turns out BWKS has a house in Georgia that has the same thing. No, it's not sheetrock. It's some kind of gypsum vapor barrier. Look for tabs to create an air space. *Zorak looks* Yep. Sure enough.

Now, something did go horribly wrong on that other wall, but no, our Forever Home is not three short weeks from caving in on itself. It is not constructed of poorly laid thin brick stacked against drywall for an exterior finish. We are not going to have to pimp out cute cousins in order to pay for repairs. Life is still good, and we're making headway.

We handled it well, but I'm still not right after a scare like that, and that was at nine thirty this morning!

The rest of the day was busy, busy, busy. Zorak cut the water lines under the house and got water running to the back commode and sink. He rescued the kitchen from the alien colony, and then rescued me from the other dead body in the living room. When he decided to yank the toilet out of the bath, he broke out the reciprocating saw. High point! It is so much more impressive (and a whole lot less work) to just zip through those nasty nuts that bond your toilet to the floor (and seep rust, they do that, too). ZOOM, Ch'kunk, and up it comes! Same thing with the supply lines for the sink, and the ungainly vanity counter.

I pulled off 80% of the paneling in the living room and demolished the hall bathroom vanity. The trim, baseboards (and inadvertenly, most of the linoleum, which has bonded molecularly to the baseboards) are all off in there now, too. Tomorrow the rest of the paneling will come out of the living room and bathroom, as well as all the linoleum. Hopefully the tub will come out, too. And then the carpet comes up. That stuff is still damp a week and a half after it was shampooed! EW!

We were there a little over ten hours today, working for all but a brief lunch break and some time to enjoy the Fire Ring (we're burning much of the debris at this point - one of the perks of living in the boonies). Bush Hog Guy came today and did a great job - the difference is amazing, and the boys are ready to go explore The Meadow (now that they can tell there is one). The barn seems to have sprouted legs and grown. It looked more like a Hobbit Hole than a barn before the Bush Hog Guy came.

The boys had a wonderful day again today, and once again all were out before seven thirty tonight. They dragged hoses about, demolished baseboards, and even had a special outing across the recently uncovered meadow, with Daddy and the bbgun late in the afternoon. They swept the balcony of leaves and tossed old wood into piles. They enjoyed watching the bush hog in action (from the safety of the front porch). I had some great insights on them, and some cute quotes, but I'm really too tired to think of them.

In all, though, today was a good day. I'm not sure we made as much leeway as we'd hoped, but considering the two major surprises and the general logistics of little ones and their needs, we made a good road. Tomorrow we have one more big push, and then we get a day off on Tuesday for our ultrasound and midwife's appointment. It'll be difficult not to be working on the place, but that's a good excuse. ;-)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

The Remodel, Day 1

Wow. Wait, we've already said that. Well, ok. I'll try for something more descriptive, then.

We got there this morning, completely overwhelmed and ready to go. The boys immediately got into everything they weren't supposed to get into, so we had several false starts. We learned a lot about our children today, and it was good.

John makes a good hand. He wants to help and makes no bones about it. He looks for things to help with, and if we don't have anything for him to do, he'll make suggestions. He will do anything, anything at all, if only we will let him. If we leave him alone to do it, he will probably improve upon it. He has the ability to take the abstract and find a practical application for it. He is undaunted by size, scope, or outcome of the job, and he'll ask for help when he needs it - but don't do it for him (he can spot that!) He is only five and still needs our affirmation that he's made a good call. His smile is the best indicator of how well he thinks he's doing. Our smiles are the best indicator of just how well we "get it". There were a lot of smiles today, all around.

James wants desperately to be involved and to be helpful. He has a temperament, however, that causes him to stand back and wait to be invited into that Great Mysterious Realm. He waits patiently, with his heart on his sleeve. If we are not careful, we can glide right past him and break his heart by not offering that invitation to help out. Grown ups forget what that feels like. Grown ups sometimes misinterpret this hesitance as disinterest, or a lack of desire to work. That's not it. He wants to do the right thing, and in his mind, pestering the adults is not the right thing. He is eager to do any task we ask of him, and the radiance of his face could direct ships as far away as the Bering Strait when we've given him a job to do. That radiance pales only in comparison to the one that comes when his efforts and creative energies are praised. He also looks to find the better, safer, more efficient route to accomplishing his tasks. He's seven, and while not as vocal in seeking approval, he still flourishes under it.

Smidge will sing. to. anything. Juice boxes. Walls. Pine trees. Himself. You name it, there's a song (and possibly a dance) to go with it. He can go for nine hours straight without a single whimper. He loves to swing, loves to climb, and loves to dance in circles. He'll also keep us in stitches with his deeply inflected snippets on the condition of the process. Ew. Blech. Ooooo. Ow. Hey!! He's going to be fine, I think.

Zorak is 'Da Man, I swear. He may not know this, but I think he can do anything. Anything. At all. He's my hero. Would you believe he filled five (5!) 55 gallon trash bags today?!? All out of the scary spot, and it's not even close to being done. He got the water turned off, the pipes drained, some of them crimped and soldered. He helped me with the kitchen sink pullout, set up the Fire Ring for the boys to work with. He examined and made "a plan" for the balcony, installed lighting in the scary spot, got the place well on its way to drying out. And he still had time for hugs and kissing boo-boos and run-by smoochings.

I ripped out all the kitchen cabinets, dishwasher and stove. That was my goal, and I did it. I have to confess, it's really quite fun to throw out cabinetry! I mean, how often can you get away with lobbing furnishings out a window?! If you ever have the chance to do it, without getting arrested or referred for counseling, go for it! I, um, also took out the internal doors and, um, well, that was about it. But it kept me busy for nine hours! (Tip: if you hire me for contract work, pay by the job, not the hour.)

We've pretty well decided not to post before pictures until we have after pictures to go along with them. One: it would scare off any potential visitors. Trust me. Two: it's so much more fun to say, "it was like this, but NOW LOOK!" So until we have the "now look" bit, yeah, we're not telling you just how truly disgusting this is. I will say, however, that if I ever buy another home, the cabinets are coming out - no matter how nice they look. O-U-T. I don't trust them, and incidentally, I don't think you should, either. Ew.

Day One was pretty productive! We had a good time, accomplished most of our goals for the day, and are feeling so very thankful that we have a home to work on. The setting is exquisite, and it feels good there - even with the house in its current condition. This is, definitely, a Good Home. And this is a great experience, for all of us. The boys, in particular, were out beyond recall by seven thirty tonight. Except for James, who stayed up until almost eight to read, but as soon as he flipped off his light, he was done for. They played hard, worked hard, and fell into bed with the exhausted satisfaction of a day well spent. May we all be so fortunate.

However, I do need to take an anti-inflammatory and go to bed before I swell up and fall over. So, on that note, as always, kiss those babies!
~Dy

Friday, October 7

Oh, Happy Day

We have a home. Not just any home, but our Forever Home. Tonight we walked in without having to scrounge a key from someone. Tonight we unloaded the swingset onto the porch and stared at the wall between the kitchen and the living room (imagining it was already gone, and it looks beautiful like that!)

We gave the boys their own little pry bars and talked about some of the pitfalls of having a Very Responsible Position (splinters, nails, the temptation to beat one another about the head with the trim pieces... you know, the basics). Their little eyes were simply huge, and they're anxious to begin. But first, they get to gather up all the twigs and put them in The Fire Ring (ooooooohhh), which is also a Very Responsible Position. No, they don't get actual fire for it, but that's not really the point when you're five and seven. And two.

I think they *get* that we're doing big things to the house. It has begun to sink in that, somehow, it's not going to look as it does now, once we're finished. They don't quite grasp the magnitude of the change, though, and I'm so excited to watch as that awareness dawns and they make the connections. Oh, this is fun stuff!

Zorak and I have used the word "wow", as a sentence all its own, more in the past seven hours than we have in both our lives, combined. It's a stunned, euphoric, slightly panicked sensation that slips out involuntarily. Sometimes it's a whispered "wow", and sometimes it's a firm "Wow". The other one nods in understanding and we hold hands for a bit. Third party observers may speculate that we've been toking it up a bit, but no. This is just the blissful realization of a dream and a goal. It's... wow.

The boys are sound asleep - John didn't make it home awake. Smidge was in his jammies and half-asleep before I could get my shoes off. James tried very hard to pretend he was asleep (or at least too sleepy to walk) so Zorak carried him in. (We both remember as children how good it felt to be carried inside after a long car trip - that's one of the perks of childhood. How could we not indulge that warm, safe, loved feeling?) Zorak is on a Wal-Mart run for a few essentials and we'll be out at the house First Thing in the Morning (sure hope I can find that setting on the alarm clock!) Time to get to work.

Have a lovely Saturday, and as always kiss those babies!
~Dy

Thursday, October 6

Boring Technical Blog For Hillary

I have to laugh, here, because Hillary is like the loving, worry-wart sister that I never had. I feel like I've been adopted. :-) However, knowing that we've hashed all that stuff out on our end doesn't help much, considering I haven't blogged about it. So, I thank you for the hugs and care, Hillary, and will try to answer your questions the best I can. Let me know if I miss anything pertinent, though.

Where to start? Well, thanks to the bureaucracy that is our federal government, the presence of the mold was an issue that had to be dealt with before anything else (in this case, the causes of the mold) could be dealt with. Think of it as the medical model of home care: we don't care what the problem is, but we'll treat the symptoms, spend a ton of your money doing it, and then that rash will clear right up and you can be on your way! Oh, sure you'll still be sick as a dog, but you'll look and feel better (and we'll have your money).

The two thousand dollars spent (thankfully, not by us) to do the mold abatement was stoopid. Worse, it was a travesty of common sense perpetrated by Jackasses of the highest FHA Executive level. There is *no* mold on the surfaces of the inside of the home now. None. There were less than two spores per square inch, and the expected level is much higher than that. For that, sure I'm thankful. It makes the upcoming task a little less gruesome, visually. But not only was that not the cause of the problem, 98% of those surfaces are going to be ripped out this weekend, so that was an awful lot of money for nothing. I'll get the appraisal pictures and show ya. It was "ew", and now it's "not so ew", but the actual cause of the mold hasn't been touched.

Now, this bothers me, not because I feel we'd be better off living with small children in a mold-infested home. Rather, because I feel we are capable, intelligent individuals who take our role as parental units quite seriously and to be honest, our standards are actually higher than the G-man Standards. The difference is in the approach. We would much rather to have closed on this place before it was a Ch-ch-ch-chia house, thus saving our money on rent and utilities here, letting the other involved parties save their money, as well... and we would still have taken the same path I'll outline below.

Why? Because it's our home. It's also our blood, sweat, tears, and finances that are going into this place. So, we signed sixteen pages of mold disclosure papers two months ago. We received the Federal Mold Statement in three different forms (one including pictures, just to make sure we get it). We were informed by both the Mortgage Co. and Wonderful Realtor of all available exits and how to use our oxygen masks in case of cabin decompression. We were informed consumers who were willing to address the issue in the best manner possible, but you know, the holistic approach is just voodoo for the ignorant masses and gee-isn't-it-wonderful-to-have-a-gov't-looking-out-for-us-ignorant-plebes. That's where this whole hurdle sticks in my craw just a wee bit.

The boys will be exiled to the outside until the property is farther along its path and ready to go. In preparation for that, we're having the entire thing bush hogged tomorrow, and putting up a play area at the top of the hill. This will be their sanctuary, where the boys can play, picnic, and frolic in the relative safety of the out-of-doors. We'll BBQ and make sandwiches, and they'll learn that the cooler is a great portable fridge (and yes, you still need to shut the door when you're done!)

So, now that all the current mold is dead (and that's the stuff that was floating about in the house when Mr. Mold Inspector did his air test - he is confident that consistent airing and the corrective measures we propose will eradicate the issue), we'll have to work fast in order to stop the water infiltration (ie., cause of the mold) before the mold can regroup and launch another attack. We have, fortunately, had plenty of time to process our action plan and come up with some nifty ideas that range from decorative (ohhhh, what if we just don't put in upper cabinets?) to structural (that kitchen wall is comin' out, baby!), and on to health and safety (look, leaking pipes! probably oughta do something about that, eh?). It's been good. Before we move into the house, the actual problems that have brought mold into our abode will be addressed.

The problems as we have been able to identify so far are as follows, with corrective measures in red. First, we will turn off the water to the place. That, alone, will do tremendous strategic damage to the march of the mold. Then, it's on to corrective action:
1) Water heater leaks - replace water heater (also upgrade to propane at the same time)
2) Pipes leak - replace leaking pipes (also, switching to a PEX manifold system, swanky!)
3) There is an unfinished, vile, scary, SCARY dank crawl space sort of torture cellar thing behind the basement. It makes the landscape of LUD look well-ventilated and healthy - this room needs to be cleaned, dried, tarred, and then closed for all eternity. This room is also on the uphill side of the house, which leads us to the next problem...
4) The gutters dump ALL the water from the back two quadrants of the house right there into that uppermost corner, where the water seeps into the scary Koontz family photo studio - reroute gutters to improve drainage.
5) Every outside water faucet leaks constantly, leaving a mire of sludge to seep into the basement - we're capping these and will decide what to do with them later.
6) The house is on a hill and the drainage on the uphill side isn't an engineer's crowning achievement - we'll regrade the top of the hill (it's small) and put in a French Drain.
7) The doors to the basement don't shut properly - we will change that, then, won't we?

Truthfully, these are all minor issues that a little forethought and regular maintenance could have avoided. Once they're taken in hand, it will be easy, and these projects will be among our daily activities for the next three weeks. (Note: don't expect spectacular blogging.) They'll run somewhat parallel with removing all the interior walls, cabinetry, appliances, insulation, flooring and subflooring, checking/upgrading the wiring, and then laying all new materials from top to bottom. The two rooms which must be completely finished before we can move into it are the main bath and the kitchen. Two bedrooms do need to have drywall back up, but not necessarily taken to their soon-to-be exquisite state. That will come.

However, the short version is that yes, the boys will be safe. No, we wouldn't knowingly put them in a position that would harm them or cause their precious lives to be lessened. Honestly, we've seen worse conditions in fully approved rental properties (not sure if that's encouraging or not, but there it is). We do feel this is a good investment that is 100% do-able, as long as we're a team. I wouldn't touch this place with a 50' pole if I was alone in the world, but then, I wouldn't need a Forever Home for my wonderful family, then, either.

Tomorrow's going to be a busy day, so I'm signing off. Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Drat and Double Drat (Updated 11:09am, & 12:30pm)

The house air quality test failed.

It failed by so slight a margin that the mold inspection guy isn't even recommending another test. He just says to run the air scrubbers for a piddly 24 hours and it should be good to go. But that stoopid test...

So, he is on the phone with the Hounds to try to convince them to let it close.

Our Wonderful Realtor is going to be on the phone with them, trying to convince them to let it close.

I am considering firing up the brisket and calling in KathyJo's Boys to do a little housecleaning.

Maybe we should move to Argentina and raise some of that delicious Argentinian beef?

You know, in my life before children, this would be where I started seriously considering submission of my application as a mercenary for the Rhodesian Militia, er, "Army". I guess one of the many (seemingly uncountable) reasons God gave me these children could be to keep me from getting sniped in a remote location because I had to go and throw an old-fashioned tantrum. Funny how He works with those of us less pliable souls...

And now we get to go to the outing and smile. When what I really want to do is go to Barnes & Noble and hide. But that's not an option.

I'll let you know more when we know more.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

***********************************************************
11:09AM-

OK, Wonderful Realtor called and said the lady at the Hound Pound said she can't see why it wouldn't close tomorrow!!! (said with cautious optimism, or optimistic caution, take your pick) She has to double check with her supervisor, who isn't in the office right now, and will get back with us with a definite answer.

Today.

We will know.

And the answer just might not be "no".

I don't know what to do with all these hormones!
Dy

*************************************************************
12:30PM -

Jo (Wonderful Realtor) just called.

It's a Go.

We close tomorrow.

When she told me the news, my knees buckled and I had to finish the phone call on the floor. I was torn between crying with happiness and laughing at the absurdity of being there on my knees, unable to get up.

Zorak said it well when he said, "This is it. Forever begins tomorrow." Yes, technically, Forever has been going for quite a while. But in our little microcosm, this is what we have worked toward, fought for, saved our funds and ideas to attain. It has been seven years in coming, and it feels ever so good.

We're off to the Official Thingy and then to Lowe's for some lime and long-handled shovels! Thank you, all, for your funny stories, prayers and positive thoughts, encouragement and mostly, just for your presence. Thank you for not telling us we are insane, even when you thought we were. I appreciate it. I appreciate that we haven't gone through this alone - both In Real Life and through our online friendships. Y'all have helped me keep my sanity. Thank you.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy, whose babies are afraid if she kisses them any more they'll bruise.

Wednesday, October 5

What a funny day.

Both ha-ha funny and weird funny. But, oh so good.

We waited on the maintenance man to come this morning, but finally gave up and left at eleven thirty. The morning was truly lovely. Intentional, as I originally meant it. When there was discord, it felt good to stop, listen, and then pick an intentional response. At one point, all that was called for was some snuggle time and some "kind words" for John to help him get his footing after a particularly sad outburst. I will not dwell on how many of those I have missed, but rather focus on how many of those are to come.

We finally made it to Mecca, er, um, the Library. It was heavenly. We hauled our milk crate into the entry way in three-foot spurts. I had Smidge asleep in the sling and the crate was too heavy for the boys to carry, or for me to nudge along with my foot. We had just stopped for the fiftieth time when the mailman came up, and evidently taking pity on us he, without a word, hoisted the crate from between the boys. The looks on their faces said that was better than spotting Santa Claus mid-way down the chimney. He laughed aloud when both of the boys burst forward to open the doors for him, shouting out in rounds of, "Oh! Thank you! Thank you SO much!" He deposited the crate on the counter and disappeared into the sunset while the theme song from The Magnificent Seven played softly in the background...

We had a fantastic three hours scampering like puppies in a field, rolling our heads in all the flowers, chasing metaphorical butterflies.

By the time we headed to the Mommy Section of the library, the crate was already too heavy to carry, what with the belly and the sling and the sheer weight of that many books. I inquired at the desk as to whether there was any twine to be found (thinking I could rig up a sled-dog style apparatus to which I could harness my two eldest...) No twine, but they let us use one of the Official-Looking Carts. Oooo. That was niiice!

Smidge awoke while I was digging up Cervantes (yes, don't laugh, I'm trying again) and he was so thrilled to see the boys had picked up a few Thomas books for him that he completely forgot his Library Voice. *cringe* They all quickly settled in on a low, tiled wall to read and giggle, though, and left me to wander the stacks and pick up some good 'uns. This trip was all fiction for me, simply because the non-fiction is on the second floor and no matter how well the day was going, I was not going to attempt that maneuver. I cut my losses, counted my blessings and herded the kittens over to the checkout.

We took our obligatory detour around the Local Artists' Display, where we were treated to a beautiful and interesting display of oil on canvas. The space is small, but we were able to lose another half hour just talking about the paintings. (Must remember to let the library staff know how very much we enjoy those displays!)

We stopped at Publix for some non-moldy bread and more fruit. The boys were mortified when Jacob began to eat his apple before we beeped it, but calmed a bit when I explained that yes, I know, but no, he's fine and they survived the same thing when they were two. They were tickled to pieces to see a "real soldier", in full BDUs, and even more happy when he smiled at their enthusiasm and said hello to them. (Thank you, sir. You have no idea what that meant to two little boys.) We spent a good fifteen minutes at the seafood display, discussing crabs and crawdads (crayfish, some would say - but I'm telling you, those were crawdads!) John said, "Now, those (pointing at the snow crab legs) look kind of normal, but those (pointing to the King Crab legs, with all their black-tipped pointy bits) are a little creepy!"

In line at the checkout, James asked if the lady behind us could go first since she only had a few things. (She had more than we did, but we try to make it a point of letting people go ahead of us just because we know we're slow and it's a good all-purpose exercise in chilvary.) I said sure, but she refused. Kindly, and with a huge smile, but she wouldn't budge. I think she was having fun watching the boys interact with each other, to be truthful.

We came home, ate, watched the maintenance guy (who was almost done by the time we arrived), then snuggled in with books all over the place and read together. John could not get enough (growth spurt? or have I been starving his poor little brain? Whatever it was, he was in heaven today!) Smidge stretched out next to James the way a kitten sprawls in a sunlit window and enjoyed poking James lovingly in the head while James read aloud to him. It was idyllic, but after a while I had to get up and MOVE or I was going to fall asleep and we'd miss Pioneer Club.

So. We had supper when Zorak got home, catapulted everyone into the car and made it to Pioneer Club on time. The boys had a great evening. I stayed with Smidge in the nursery (I need to blog about that - but that's an entry all its own...) We came home and now that I've stopped moving, everything hurts. It hurts bad!

But it was just a great day, and a lot of that was exactly what I was talking about the other day: it's going to happen, whether I'm ready for it or not. It's just so much nicer to be prepared. We laughed more. We talked more. We hugged more. We read more. How can that be less-than-ideal, no matter the peripherals of the day, right?

And on the peripherals, no word on the mold results. Either they came back and were bad and Jo hasn't mustered the strength to call yet, or he hasn't gotten her the results. Perhaps tomorrow? Hopefully it will be good news, and that would be a true blessing on top of many others.

Tomorrow is Organization Day at the Arsenal and Zorak wants us to go meet everyone, so I am going to collapse right now and see if I can recover before sunrise. (And yes, I am putting wheels on my little milk crate *this weekend*!)

Kiss those babies, and enjoy them. Remember, they will never again be as little as they are today.
~Dy

Tuesday, October 4

Define "Intentional"

Well, today happened. It came. Everything that ought to have support today, had it. That counts, right?

Actually, it was a good, productive, intentional day. We had a truly horrible concoction for breakfast, but I had all this fruit we needed to use up... The boys ate two bowls of it, though, so it couldn't have been that bad. Right? Then we read, did some wash, and everyone took twenty minutes to play. Yippee!

Zorak returned to the abode for lunch, arriving to find three boys with their upside down bicycles strewn about on the grass (they have been forbidden to so much as eyeball the dirt beyond the grass for as long as we continue to live here). They were "fixing things". (No, nothing's broken on the bikes, but it's such fun to tinker!)

I was able to provide Zorak with a lovely lunch, except for the mold I didn't see on one edge of the crust. Ugh. I'm not trying to kill him, honest. I looked, even. Ah, well, he still seems to love me. I also had a list of things we had accomplished this morning: we found a dentist and have appointments next week; I spent some time getting the boys psyched about having "our very own dentist," and other propagandizing necessary to ensure that they do not have the same idiosyncrasies I had as a child, if you know what I mean; I spoke with the Bush Hog Guy and was to meet him this afternoon at the house; the boys and I began studying James 1:19-wherever-we-end-up-stopping; we'd rounded up library books (again) and would swing by there on our way back from the house; found an HVAC guy to check out; called on insurance; and played. It felt so good. So useful.

Then Zorak asks, "So, what's our 'intentional plan' for this evening?"

I froze. "I don't know!" I squeaked, "I'm new at this!"

The afternoon deteriorated a bit, I admit. My stamina has waned since I've given up living this life properly, so I imagine it'll take some time to get back into the swing of things. The two-hour delay getting the Suburban back sort of started the mental stuttering. Then, Smidge didn't nap quite well in the car, so I had to haul a cranky (HEAVY) child up and down the hills on the property with the Bush Hog Guy (ow, that hurt muscles that shouldn't hurt from just walking!) The Bush Hog Guy thought we were to meet at 2:45, not 1:45, so after walking around the property for an hour, I'd just left him a message that we'd try again some other time and was pulling out of the drive when he arrived. Through all that, I was maintaining pretty well, though. A good, deep breath can make a two-hour delay feel not-so-bad and remind you that it's not a plot to make you insane. Candy corn in the pocket can alleviate the Grumps in a two year old. Extra water bottles can rejuvenate two hot and tired boys. A smile and an understanding tone can make an awkward first encounter downright pleasant in the end.

Then we got to the library. And the book. The one book. I needed to return. Wasn't in the bag. I'd asked James to put it in the bag this morning. He hadn't said he didn't do it, but his actions had indicated he did. When I asked him where in the bag he'd put it, he said sheepishly, "I never found it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that." Oh. That's where I fumbled. I didn't yell (thankfully), but I wasn't pleased. As Jill would say, I slipped into Lecture Land. I buckled back up and we left the library without so much as setting foot inside. *sigh* Not one of my more esteemed moments, I assure you. Here's where I could use some input - How do you dig down and find that extra back support for your camel when that last straw gets dropped on it? It's not like the Wee Straw Bearer came and thumped it onto my poor camel just to watch it suffer. It's more like the debris that flies off the back of a contractor's truck. He's got a lot of little straws, and since I'm in the back, herding the cats, the occasional straw is bound to fly off and hit my camel. I know that, and yet at three in the afternoon I could not have formulated that thought to save my life.

We were back on track by the time we arrived home. The boys helped fix a significantly less questionable supper than that breakfast I'd served, and we had a lovely evening talking, laughing, sharing, playing.

Smidge is speaking more and more each day, which is a huge source of hilarity to the boys. They encourage him and rejoice with him, high-fives all around. It's beautiful. Zorak and I bragged to the boys about themselves and enjoyed watching them beam. We snuggled, and then they enjoyed ice cream and play time after supper.

The boys helped polish the metal on the muzzleloader they're refurbishing. It's a huge Daddy 'n Boys Project. My home smells like gun oil. Personally, I was thinking something along the lines of cinnamon-apple, or perhaps a nice light vanilla. But this is a happy smell, and it's accompanied by the thrill of learning, the joy of success, and the pride of craftsmanship. I can handle that. We're blessed.

And now, the Wee Ones are tucked in and quiet. The maintenance men will be here in the morning to fix our faucet and ice maker. The house is in a condition that won't cause me to panic. I am going to curl up with the scarf and the hubby and give both some attention.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Monday, October 3

Living Intentionally

(Have I used that title before? I think I've officially run out of things to say!)

Right, like that's going to stop me.

Anyhow, tonight, after an excruciating arsenic hour involving a red clay mudfight, greasy grout, and poop, I collapsed on the porch, my quivering hands around a scalding hot cup of coffee, and sighed. Quite loudly, might I add. (It could have been a stifled scream from the heat, but I'm pretty sure it was just a rigorous sigh.)

This is one of those nights I am absolutely exhausted, pummeled by the day and all that it presented. Yet the day is now done. The boys are in bed (well, most of them are in bed, Smidge seems to have gone Nomadic tonight). It's over. There are no more do-overs for today - for them, or for me. Whether I was prepared for today or not, it happened. It is now part of their lives, their memories, and their heritages. Did I blow it? Possibly. Could I have handled today differently? Certainly. Does any of that change the fact that these days come, and we know they'll come? No. So what do we do about it?

I think we need to live intentionally. That's the best thing we can do about it. We know (*know*) that each day will begin, whether we're prepared for it or not. We know that there will be meals to cook, disagreements to mediate, spills to mop, tasks to accomplish, and brows to kiss. The question is whether we are going to let the day propel us from one incident to another with nary a breath in between, or if we are going to accept that the day will come, embrace it, prepare for it, and do it on purpose, making sure that the direction of the day is guided by some force other than Chaos. (OK, that goal may be a bit lofty - let's shoot for "more days than not", shall we?)

Have you ever been to a beach that had waves? I'm talking surfing-style waves, here. If you don't know the waters, and haven't any idea which end is up on a surfboard, you don't want to just flail into the surf and hope for the best. There's stuff under that water that will rip. you. apart. And the waves don't stop coming, either. Whether you're on your feet or upside down with a chunk of coral jammed up your nose, here comes another wave. Once you're caught in the cycle unaware, it goes from awkward to painful to downright terrifying in just a few good washes over your tumbled head. Yet if you stand on the beach and watch the surfers get out there (or happen to be a surfer yourself), it's a whole different ballgame. They head out, intentionally, aware of what they're up against and familiar with the terrain. They know they could get knocked on their hind ends. They expect to, once in a while. But that's not the point: they've chosen to wade in and make the most of it. And they have a blast! I don't know about y'all, but I could learn a thing or two about that application.

I've fallen prey to one of the things I detest the most: the victim mentality. Ugh. It's disgusting. It's counterproductive. It does nothing to improve the situation, and still the days come, one after another. I know this. Yet I caved, anyway, and now we're all paying the price.

So here's my proposal: live intentionally. I will wake up accepting that whatever comes, I will need to don some form of support garment at some point in the day, so I'll just do it straight away and get that bit of tedium over with. I will go to bed the night before prepared to do that in the most pleasant way possible, rather than slumping into bed praying the alarm doesn't wake the boys in the morning. As a matter of fact, I think I'll lay out a clean cup by the coffee pot just as a little "good morning" treat.

I will set aside stories tonight that I would like to share with the boys tomorrow. I will think ahead of at least one thing they would enjoy doing that doesn't fall into the "taskmaster" category. I will talk with them over breakfast about our day, its plans and aims, and see if they have anything they'd like to add. Children can be wonderfully insightful, when we give them the chance.

I will provide the time to do the things that need to be done, but not in the sense that we often think of things that "need to be done". Not the wash. Not the scrubbing of the grout. Not that thing growing in the back of the fridge. The things that need, truly need, to be done: sharing the kitchen with the boys, making our reading together time a serious priority (possibly over meals, if necessary - we can always eat after the next chapter, or snack during an extra chapter), leaving early enough to stop at the park after our trip to the library.

If it's important, you make time for it. Time will continue its plodding pace with no regard for what we think we need to do, so we need to be intentional and precise about what we are going to do - and then do it.

These are things I know. I've known them for years. I've believed in them for years. I've lived them for years. What happened? I guess I didn't see one of those waves. And I forgot to pay attention, so it got more difficult to get my footing in the shifting sands. I probably stubbed my shin on some coral, too. None of this is irreparable, and none of it is drastic or traumatic. But you wouldn't guess that to look at me lately. And that, my friends, was not intentional. ;-)

So here is to tomorrow morning and a day that I cannot control, but one I can prepare for and welcome as it arrives. I might still end up screaming on my keister by suppertime tomorrow, but it won't have been a day-long fall to get there if I do. And the next day, it will be easier as we all remember what it's like to live intentionally.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

BIG knot - right in the middle of my stomach

Today the Mold Inspector goes out to test the air quality of the Forever Home. Please say a prayer that it passes. Since the results take 48 hours, we won't know until Wednesday, and if it doesn't pass, there won't be time to re-test in time for a closing on Friday.

Did I mention that knot is HUGE?

Thanks,
Dy

Friday, September 30

Not Every Day is Exciting, but There Are Always Books

The problem with great stories - the stories that get listeners or readers howling with laughter, swearing with empathy, or nodding (in agreement or dissent) - is that they are parenthetical to the day-to-day living that makes up "life". As we know it. Live it. And, hopefully, love it. They punctuate the landscape, but do not generally make up the bulk of it. They don't offer the structures that shelter us from the elements so much as the view out the window, or the decoration at the ends of the bookshelves rather than the books themselves. I think that's is why stand-up comedy routines are seldom longer than four or five minutes. It's takes a lot of "life" to build up a one-hour act.

This reality makes it difficult to keep up the pace when one comes in contact with others through writing or story-telling. Particularly on a daily basis. You look back at the day and think,
"Well, breakfast was nice. Nobody puked, nobody stuck their fingers in hot bacon grease, and I used the leftover baked potatoes from last night's supper to make hash browns."
Technically, breakfast was a success. Practically speaking, it would make much better blogfodder if someone had thrown up in the grits, or if some other bodily malfunction had come into play. Thankfully, those stories don't come along every day.

Some days are just quiet. Most days, I hope, will be quiet days. They don't make for riotous laughter from the peanut gallery, but I'm okay with that. In spite of the large, gaping blank spot they provide for me at day's end. (Must the cursor blink? As if I don't know it's still sitting in the upper left-hand corner of my screen!) This is when it's nice to turn to the other things that make up who we are and what gets us from one great story to another: the meat of daily living.

I had hoped to write some of the wonderful quotes from Freedom & Necessity as I came across them. I do not, howver, have a reading journal on hand (and have no desire to begin one in the middle of this-particular-spot-in-life), so they never made it here. I'm sorry. You must get the book, though, and read it yourself if you get the chance. I abhor (and I use that word in its weightiest sense) Victorian-era stories, as a general rule, but the characters in this story were so well-written, so well-developed, so deliciously human that I found myself in love with them.

The scarf is coming along nicely. The directions insist that when it is washed (and blocked - they make assumptions, here...) that it will "look like crushed velvet". I will be happy if it shrinks enough to hide the few holes that seem to crop up as I progress. One particular quote in this little booklet, though, brought me a smile. These folks seem to "get it":
A yarn over is the basis for most lace patterns and is very simple to make. In fact, many new knitters make yarn overs by accident (but in those cases it's called a hole, not lace).


The boys shared three wishes tonight at supper. (I took this idea from Melissa, whose family plays "High and Low" at dinner - each person shares his or her high point and low point of the day. We modified it to just playing any type of round robin game: Thanks, where you thank each person at the table for something he did today; Three Wishes, where each person gets to think up three, well, wishes; Joys, listing the things that make you feel joyful that day; Dreams, each sharing something they would like to do in the next month... the ideas are endless, and the boys enjoy it.)

Smidge pretty much wished we'd just leave him alone and let him sleep, so we let him pass on coming up with two more.

John wished:
1) To be a grown man, like Daddy
2) To be married to a woman
3) The woman he marries must "have a golden star on her forehead"

(This contingency seems to have come from Lang's "The Twelve Brothers" story from The Red Fairy Book, in which a very loyal pricess is described thus: She was kind-hearted and of a fair countenance, and she had a gold star right in the middle of her forehead. It's an amazing story, and my heart just burst at the idea that he claimed this girl as a model of womanhood. I'm quite stunned, as we haven't read that story in months.)

James' wishes were:
1) To be able to be a grown up or a child as he chose.
2) To live forever and travel between Heaven and earth at will.
3) Unlimited wishes for the future.

Wow. Good call, although I don't know that he'd want to come back once he got there. The idea of time travel hit him about 45 seconds after the discussion ended, and when we told him "nope, just three wishes", he replied giddily, "but my last wish was for unlimited wishes, so I can add time travel."

We might have a home next week, but we have each other tonight. What more could I honestly wish for? (OK, and to be completely upfront, Zorak and I have both read The Monkey's Paw, so we refrained from joining in the game tonight. Some suspicions are just too hard to break. *grin*) And people think what we read doesn't affect us? P'shaw!

Read something uplifting, encouraging, bolstering, thought-provoking, and great!
And kiss those babies!
~Dy

Thursday, September 29

*smile*

This day was truly delicious. I have laughed at the boys. Laughed with the boys. The boys have laughed at me, with me, and at one another. We've adjusted bikes and prepped a pumpkin for baking tomorrow. We've read and read and read. I've laughed myself silly over this incredibly addicting book I'm reading (and it's *gasp* fiction!) We came inside only to eat, and it was heavenly.

Zorak came home this afternoon as we were on our way to the park to meet friends. (The wind pushed them -?- and they made much better time than they'd anticipated. OK, this is like telling me you just did 110 on the Interstate and "made good time"... don't tell me these things! Don't tell me you flew the plane. Don't tell me it took half the time to get home as it did to get there. Don't tell me you did not stop for gas!! Do. Not. Share. This. With. Me. Thankyou.) So, anyway, being home and in one piece, he joined us. That was quite nice. (May I just point out here that a daddy playing patiently on the playground with a child, particularly the daddy of your child, is SUCH a sight for sore eyes! Ok, so back to the blogging...)

The park play area is huge and wonderful for children, but it's a visual-contact nightmare for parents. If your child is more than five feet from you, he is hidden. It was a community project park, and while it's definitely gorgeous, egads, people! Even the folks at Circle K (convenience stores) know not to put visual blocks in front of the people who need to see what's going on. SO. Between the three of us (Zorak, myself, and our friend), we were able to keep an eye on the three smallest ones and make occasional radio contact with the four oldest ones. They ran about like recently freed cave children. All the children there today were flying around at MACH3, having a blast, and managing not to incinerate themselves upon impact with upright piers. It was great!

Ahhh, and now, Zorak is home. Supper has been inhaled. Stories have been read. And I have a ton of laundry to get done. So I'm cutting it short.

As always, kiss those babies, but give those Daddies a little peck and a "thank you", too.

~Dy

Morning Stories

The reading groove is back. The boys and I have enjoyed a week of reading for longer periods, reading more diverse books, and they've been requesting more stories! The boys are thoroughly enjoying The Story of Numbers, as well as the other general reading we're doing. Last night James let me know he'd read all the current library books at least twice and asked if we can go back. Ahhh, yes. That's what I was looking for. This morning, he read to me for over an hour. We had a wonderful time together.

I am thoroughly enjoying the boys. They've been out-of-doors voluntarily, and that's been oh-so-nice! Our time indoors together has been more enjoyable - whether we're wrestling (which, might I point out, is a very handy "Daddy Thing", not so easy on the "Preggo Mommy"), or baking or reading or just being silly. They are getting a much better balance of life these days, and the improvements are wonderful.

I don't know how they can just home in on this stuff, but they found some yarn at the store the other day. They loved on it. They oohhh'd and ahhh'd over it. They cradled it like a baby doll. It was just too stinkin' cute to say no. That's what precipitated the knitting agrression session. I have to get started when they're asleep because things get stabbed. Mistakes are made. Things are said. It's actually good practice for me to gain control over my tongue. But by yesterday afternoon, I'd ripped out a scarf only nine times and things were relatively benign. The boys played with yarn on the bed while I sat among them and knitted (my ball of yarn safely ensconsed under my shirt). It was like curling up with happy, declawed kittens.

Zorak should return to us this evening. It will be wonderful to have him back. The high today is supposed to be in the low 70's - what a wonderful reprieve! The boys are already outside, roming in the air. They didn't even take toys or balls out - just bolted and spun in circles, exclaiming how pretty it is outside! I think I'm going to go join them. If anyone knows of a place where it never gets above 65', please let me know. :-)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Tuesday, September 27

Why I Love My Husband, #1,877,935,101

Tonight, as I relayed to Zorak my appreciation for him and his presence in my life, I shared the thought that without his positive influence I would probably be a bitter, alcoholic barmaid in a border town right now. His reply?
That's ok. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably be looking for a bitter, alcoholic barmaid in a border town, today, too.
I love that man! He knows when to tell me it'll be okay, and he knows when to ask if I need to hear it'll be okay, or if I need to just be Chicken Little for a while. And through it all, he really always *knows* (in his heart) that it will be okay. How could I not cherish him?

The latest on the Forever Home is that the sellers (remember, this is a foreclosure co. that owns the property and is selling it - they just listed it through a real estate office rather than doing the auction/bid thing) Anyway, they have now asked us to sign an adendum to extend the closing date to October 7th... you know, because they just didn't get on it quickly enough to close this Thursday. It seems they're the only ones who are surprised by this news, though, which is funny. They have, however, actually requested (and received) the Mold Photos, and have begun to grind those little hamster wheels to get the place treated. So, we'll sign. I didn't load up the boys and high-tail it to Decatur to sign the new form, though. They can wait til Zorak gets back and we'll sign it then. But who knows? Maybe next week will be our lucky week!

This evening, Aunt B talked me down, let me know I'm not technically insane (not in this aspect, anyway), and encouraged me greatly. I really appreciate all the humor and good faith she extends to us, but 'specially to me. It's helped a lot, and she's put up with us while we outgrew our 20's and while we have worked to find our footing in our 30's. (Yes, we're slow learners.) By the time we hung up, I could laugh at the situation and be glad that we've come this far. That's quite a perspective check, huh?

The boys and I have been on the go, go, go (dog, go!) all day long. It was good. It was fun. It was really quite exhausting. They are such helpful little guys, though, and the day went smoothly. Tomorrow we have Poineer Club, so we'll see if we can swing the TeamWorkThang heartily enough to make it on time (or at least not be terribly late...)

And tonight, I am going to curl up with a good book and a skein of yarn and get all my aggressions out by trying to knit something. (The book is in case I start yelling too loudly and need to calm down a bit.) I don't know what it'll be yet, but it's possible we'll have some idea what it is in a year or two! In the meantime, the boys are asleep, so the therapy will be helpful.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Drat! Foiled again!

I spoke with Wonderful Realtor this morning. She is so angry she is nearly incapable of speaking clearly. The sellers are refusing to speak to her because they can "only speak to the listing broker". WELL, the listing broker handed the phone to the Wonderful Realtor, because (a) they work together and (b) W-R is the one who has done all the work, has all the details, and is the most useful in this situation. But no.

And now the broker is out. of. town. for the next few days (this is the second vacation she's taken while we've been trying to get this deal through, *sigh*, must be nice).

Sellers still have not given authorization for anyone to go treat the property. They left their office Friday and have not answered the phone, replied to email, or bothered to make contact since then. We don't know how they think this will close on Thursday (which was their pick - they said the 29th!!)

To quote Sarah,
"I am a glacier. I am cool. I am calm. I am chilled. I am freakin' enormous and I will wear down anything in my path. I am cool. I am calm."


I meant to share that with Wonderful Realtor this morning, but she sounded so worn down herself, I wasn't sure it would've been appropriate. I want to make her smile, not cry.

So, another week, month, or whatever without our forever home. It'll be ok. The weather is cooler today. There is a *ooooooo* slight breeze. We have groceries to buy and the money with which to buy them. The boys are covered in mud... I'm not sure where that came from, but just peeked out the window and noticed... hmmm.

Yep, it'll be alright. Really, it will.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Monday, September 26

Come Monday, It'll Be Alright

No, we're not going to a Jimmy Buffett concert. (Wouldn't that be fun, though?) The title of this post is actually for Zorak, who is on travel this week. He headed out this morning, all decked out in his "traveling engineer" garb. The boys and I are doing our Mommy-Doesn't-Have-The-Stamina-For-Boundary-Defining-This-Week Routine. It works quite well, and the older two know (almost instinctively...) that if they walk in the general direction that I point, we're good. If they turn into rabid rock squirrels, however, I will break out the slingshot and clip their little tails with a deeply irreverent glee. (OK, it's not *quite* that bad, but the imagery is pretty good.)

We did have a truly splendid time on Saturday evening. The boys napped in the late afternoon and were truly, absolutely wonderful the entire evening. They had a spectacular time, danced themselves dizzy, ate tons of fair-type food, and when we left the concert around eleven-thirty, they were just winding down. (And yet, they were still up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Sunday morning! HOOOOWWWWW do they do that?) John sure wanted to shake Don Williams' hand, but by the time we could get anywhere near the backstage area, he was long gone. John asked if he could write him a letter to thank him for coming to H'ville. (Happy mommy moment! He wants to write!) It was a good weekend before Daddy headed out.

Zorak's Team Lead is a pilot. He has his own little plane.
"Hey! Let's take my plane to Iowa!"
*groan* Guess who needed a few tranquilizers for this trip? Yep, me. It's not that I don't trust the guy, or his plane, but if Zorak dies, I am on my own. I don't want to be on my own!! Fortunately, while not terribly intuitive, Zorak is understanding, so when I said, "PleasefortheloveofGod, be careful. Andcallme." He got it. He called. From Illinois for a gas stop, from the hangar in Iowa. And he let me know ahead of time that he won't be calling again until morning, but that he is on solid ground and is fine. He didn't have to let me know Team Lead let him fly the plane for a while, though. I could've slept very soundly without that information.

Y'all cracked me up on the henchmen post. I hadn't even thought of hiring henchmen for the house. Although, now that you mention it... As of today, I haven't heard anything more. I don't see how it can close on Thursday. In order to have everything cleared for Thursday's closing, the sellers had to have hired a Mold Man to do the work over the weekend so that the test could be run by tomorrow, at the latest. (The test takes 48 hours to culture, and then probably another day to write up the letter and tie it to the turtle that walks it to the mortgage co.) . As of Friday afternoon, the sellers didn't quite "get" that this process needed to go quickly - not quickly according to their planet's time frame - but quickly. Period. They still hadn't even picked a Mold Man yet. Wonderful Realtor worked her day off to help the process along. She said she would contact us this week with an update. If they can't get it done, then at least it's on their heads since they picked this last closing date. In the meantime, it's rained here the past couple of days. I don't envy the Mold Man who gets picked, that's for sure!

I sent Zorak into a tailspin of discomfort this week with my reading selection: Hutterite Society by John A. Hostetler. Last night he broke down and asked, "You're not going to decide this is the way to go and drag us to a colony for a *uses quotes in the air* visit, are you?" Once I mopped up the coffee I'd spewed over the couch and quit chuckling, I was tempted to play devil's advocate on the issue... but refrained and let him off the hook.

The boys asked about the book today, though, and we had such a neat discussion about communal societies and their histories - who the Hutterites are and their history, as well as their faith. James had a really good point when he said, "Wow, since they're doing what they believe in their hearts is right, I'll bet God is very happy with them." Yeah, buddy, you're getting it, aren't you? It's not what we believe, or what we do, but he gets that it's what's in your heart. He also gets that we strive to serve the way we believe best, and that's good, too. I thought that was pretty good for a little guy to comprehend.

We're reading Howliday Inn by James Howe (the sequel to Bunnicula) and the boys are loving it. We're also revisiting our favorite fairy tales (Red Fairy Book), and reading through the Bible together in the mornings.

The boys new fishing rods from Zebco came in last week (excellent customer service, and they sent replacements that were identical to the originals! Thank you, Zebco!!), so they spent time today practicing their casting techniques out in the grass.

We made muffins with a new recipe, but now we need to buy pumpkins for the next batch. We decided they'd be much better with pumpkin. Mmmmm.

And, I spent time today working on my Big Project - ten minutes a day with the Magic Eraser undoing Smidge's EKG mural on the hallway wall and bedroom door. (Can't complain. He's two. He had the marker. I wasn't paying attention. It was bound to happen eventually.) It's good exercise and I should have it all off by the end of the week. (And you should see my triceps!)

Oh. Wow. It just dawned on me that the CD player has made the rounds and I'm now sitting here, at ten o'clock, listening to Prima Latina... I've got to remedy that. So I'm off. Have a wonderful day with your families tomorrow. Enjoy your gifts and your little ones.

Kiss those babies!
Dy

Sunday, September 25

On Hiring Henchmen

A good henchman is hard to come by. And so, in the hope of helping malevolent landowners and corrupt sheriffs across the Wild Wild West find competent, caring henchmen, we have outlined the basics to cover in the application/interview process. Enjoy.

Name? (If it's an alias, don't tell me that, just say as little as possible)_____
Former Occupation______________________________________
Reason for becoming a Henchman _____________________________
How's that workin' for ya? ____________________________
Years Henching? ________________
Are you aware that, even if we offer you a "retirement plan", we do not expect you to live long enough to collect on it, and if you do, we'll just kill you if you try? yes___ no ___ (If you checked no, stop now, shred this paper and leave.)
Please explain briefly a situation in which you were involved in a successful Henching Operation that required teamwork and cooperation:
___________________________________________

Where do you see yourself in five years? (Or if you don't plan to live that long, let's say, two years? By Christmas?) _________________________________________

Do you have any identifying marks readily visible to onlookers? (please explain)
____________________________________
Do you have an eye patch? (if yes, please mark the top of your application for preference points) _____
Have you, or anyone working with you, ever actually heard the foreboding music that accompanies your entrance to a drinking or entertainment establishment? __________
Just between you and me, how creepy was that?_____________________________________
Do you have any brothers who will follow you blindly into this employment? _______

How familiar are you with the (rather unspoken) Henchman Code of Ethics? (mark yes or no)
*Can you shoot an elderly, unarmed, blind man in the back? yes__ no__
*Can you leave an unescorted pregnant woman without a horse in the wilderness? yes__ no__
*Can you ever, under any circumstances, attack a perfectly healthy, sound, armed opponent at the same time as a fellow Henchman attacks him? yes__ no__

Literacy, cultural awareness:
You are expected to stampede the ____________ and pillage the _________. (Don't laugh. You'd be surprised how many get this wrong. Answer carefully.)

Yup. Mocking bad westerns is what we do on Sunday evenings... it's good.
Have a good evening!
Dy

Saturday, September 24

Wow, that was weird.

I fell asleep at a really early hour last night. Unfortunately, I fell asleep sitting upright, reading a book. Ow. It must have been good rest, though, because I was up bright 'n early this morning, before the sky grew light. How wonderful to sit on the porch, sipping coffee, reading a book (different book), and listening to the birds.

Oh, a PSA for this morning: JANET!! Calling JANET!! Can you email me? I saw your note to me on Donna's blog, but I can't find your email.

Let's see. Well, tonight we're going to see *squeal* *giggle* *jump up and down* Don Williams perform at the Big Spring Jam downtown. I'm not big on "seeing celebrities", and generally concerts aren't something I enjoy, but oh! This is Don Williams! This man sang in the background (8-track and cassette tape!) for almost every family gathering I can remember. In the Lefty Frizell/Kenny Rogers/Hank Williams Sr./Dolly Parton mix, Don Williams made appearances at a ratio of 3:1 for each other performer. I don't know who was the fan in the family was, but he was heavily represented in the soundtrack of my childhood. And he's playing here!!! *swoon*

If Zorak were the squealing, giggling, swooning type (which, of course, he's not, and I'm sure he'd like me to make that implicitly clear), he'd be right here with me, because after Don Williams plays, Dwight Yokam takes the stage. I'm pretty sure that although Zorak isn't visibly reacting, he's doing it on the inside...

So, yes, we are keeping our children out until the wee hours of the night to see these men play. To dance on the grass. To sing out of key along with the masters. To laugh as James shrieks, "I LOVE THIS SONG!" for the hundredth time in one evening. To watch Smidge smile and spin in circles with his arms outstretched. To sit with John on my lap, swaying to the ballads and hear his happy humming along with the tune. (The only thing that would make this event perfect would be a set by Freddy Fender as a nightcap. Like Zorak said, "Our children have impeccable taste in music.") To smile at each other and maybe slip in a waltz or two on the lawn.

I finished the biography of Ayn Rand, and the last chapter touched on her critics and followers. That was, perhaps, the best chapter of the entire book. It included quotes and reasoning both for and against. It highlighted the actual issues her critics took, both against her as a person and against her philosophy and fiction. I'm glad I finished the book.

And now, I'm going to go kiss my babies and enjoy a lovely Saturday morning. Hopefully our last one for a while without any work to be done!

~Dy

Thursday, September 22

Rather Anti-Climactic Week, Here

Hey.

Quiet tonight.

Boys are in bed. House is looking gorgeous. Caught up on laundry and seriously considering some kind of clothing moratorium for fall. You can change (must change, actually) skivvies daily, but everything else gets three days' wear or you go nekkid until the three days is up. We produce too much laundry. It's amazing. Then I think of Mel Gibson's poor mother and feel pretty footloose about our piles. Still, there's probably room for improvement in here somewhere.

I'm reading a biography of Ayn Rand (and why didn't anyone tell me it rhymes with mine not payne?!? Thanks, y'all! Sheesh. At least I can pronounce Goethe, even if I can't do the little doppleganger doohickies on top of my vowels when I type. What are those, again?) Anyway. Wow. It must be time for an early night. The words are flowing, but not in any one direction.

SO. *ahem* *sips coffee* Yes. I'm reading this biography, in which the author claims to be "neither a disciple nor a critic" of Rand's. He comes across as just a wee bit schizophrenic, to be honest. I'm toolin' along, reading pretty basic discourse and then out of nowhere he throws out, at the end of a paragraph, "Obviously, she missed the point of the complexity of the issue." Then he moves on, and the reader is left thinking, "What the hell is he talking about?" (Pardon the swearing, but that is EXACTLY the word that comes to mind 98 pages into this book, after he pulls that weird segue for the umpteenth time.) He makes a number of random judgement calls out of nowhere, but does nothing to back them up or expound on them, leaving the reader going back time and again in a futile attempt to figure out what she missed. (Futile because you did not miss anything. His comments are just There. Alone. With nothing to hold them up or tell you where they came from. They're like mental orphans.) At this point, I'm finishing the book because I'd like to see if this continues, and if I ever grow accustomed to it. Still better than Huxley, but man I miss O'Brian, and as far as non-fiction goes, this guy has nothing on Forrester. *smile*

Let's see... what else? It's only mid-August. Or that's what you'd think if you woke from a coma and wandered outside today. Hot. Too hot for late September. It's hot. Yuck.

Oh! And did I TELL YOU that our library is going to be adding the ability to put books on hold?!?!? This is better than Christmas for me. Well, it might be Christmas before it kicks in, so that's probably not a good description. Anyway, I made a pathetic attempt to hit the library sans children one night after supper, before they closed. (Have you seen those shopping game shows, where contestants fly down the aisles, indiscriminately throwing items into their carts, careening around corners to beat the clock to the checkout stand? There's your image. I still have no idea what I checked out.) I asked at the counter if they had *pant, pant* considered adding that *wheeze, pant* feature. You know, since iBistro was *gassssspp* developed here... it would make sense to *pant* use the features incorporated into it... and... I had to stop talking or risk passing out from hyperventilation. It's hard to run down stairs carrying a basket of books when you're out-to-here pregnant! The nice man waited for my gasping to subside so I could hear him over the sound of my own inhalations and said yes, they've actually been trying to get it up and running for a while and it's just taken a lot longer than anyone anticipated. He does expect it to kick in soon, though. WOOHOO!!! I'm so psyched!! HOLD! HOLD! A beautiful word. It is the blessing of mothers in libraries everywhere to be able to pick up preselected titles and then spend the library time snuggling, teaching and guiding their children through the Library Experience. Yay for the Madison County Library System!!

Ah, and on that note, I'd better get some rest. I promise not to be so random with tomorrow's blog.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Tags and Parodies

We heard a song on the radio this weekend that was just priceless. It's a parody by Cletus T. Judd of the romantic song "You Have the Right to Remain Silent", by Perfect Stranger. The parody is funny on its own, but if you haven't heard the original, go listen to it first. Cletus T. Judd's voice is intentionally nasal and difficult to understand, and this isn't exactly date-night music (well, for us it would be, but I know that's not everybody's cuppa tea.)

You Have No Right To Remain Violent
New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd and Chris Clark, La-Po Music (BMI)/Chris Clark Publishing Designee

Well, I asked you to dance
Now my nose is broken
Must've said somethin' wrong
Gosh, I was just jokin'
But it's hard not to cry
With a gussied up eye
My face sprayed with mace

If ya didn't wanna dance
You could've just said so
And if I'd only ducked fast
Then I wouldn't have bled so
Do you think there's a chance
You could call an ambulance?
Oh God, I'm in pain

*chorus*
You have no right to remain violent
That kick to my crotch
Uh, that was very uncalled for
You continued to beat and beat me
'Till I was black and blue
I've been wantin' you
But not any longer
'Cause it's brutally clear
That you're so much stronger
I'm madder than fire
My jaws are both wired
One hell of a date

I didn't know my bladder had failed me
Until I looked down at my pants
I think I'm in desperate need of hospitalization
But I ain't got no danged insurance

***chorus***

I bought a camcorder
Got a restrainin' order
Now lay you're hands on me

I guess that's what you get when you ask a perfect stranger to dance.

KathyJo tagged me with this meme. I haven't blogged anything "just for fun" lately, so here it is. For the last part, I don't know who has done it or who would be interested in doing it. So if you'd like to, take it and run, run with the meme!

5 things I plan (Lord willing) to do before I die:
1. Hunt moose in Alaska.
2. Travel into Mexico with the boys.
3. Hike the AT from Maine to Georgia.
4. See my boys grown into fine men.
5. Buy a stinkin' house.

5 things I can do:
1. Make a beeeyuuutiful recurve bow.
2. Basic mechanic work and rebuilding.
3. Knit (not well, but that wasn't the question).
4. Swim.
5. Make boo-boos all better.

5 things I cannot do (yet):
1. Drive an 18-wheeler.
2. Ballroom dance.
3. String spaghetti up my nose and out my throat in one piece.
4. Zorak says, "ride a motorcycle", but I think of that as something I can do, just haven't tried yet. I', sticking with that.
5. Sit through "Beth Moore" bible studies.

5 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Intelligence (and a willingness to abandon it for #2 on occasion).
2. Humor.
3. Integrity.
4. Roots - knows who he is.
5. Boots. Not girly boots, and not decorative boots. I mean BOOTS.

5 things I say most often:
1. Jackass.
2. Who loves that boy? (or "those boys")
3. WHAT are those idiots thinking?!?!
4. We should close next week.
5. Goat.

5 celebrity crushes:
1. Patrick Stewart
2. Tom Selleck
3. Sam Elliott
4. Bruce Willis
5. Kurt Russell

:-) Kiss those babies!
~Dy