Um... something is wrong!

John wanted to talk to his Granny today (since we so callously refused to drive him to New Mexico last night), so on the way home from our outing, I gave her a ring.

She sounded AWFUL when she answered the phone. I was stunned. Her speech was slurred, and she didn't seem to recognize me. Was she drinking? No. She doesn't drink like that. She sounded like my mom when the hospital upped her morphine doses, but I know she doesn't take medication like that...

"Hi, ______?" I asked.

"Ooo, Boff."

(Boff? What?)

"This is Dy. Is this _____?"

"Boff. Bum nod elink oo well ooday." She mumbled.

What?! Then my translator miraculously kicked in. She'd said, "Yes. I'm not feeling too well today,"

Huh. This is awkward. I'm thinking maybe in the future I'll just let Zorak call her. But, hey, I was already on the phone and she has call waiting, so it's not like I can just hang up and pretend that wasn't me.

"Hi _____, this is Dy! John wanted to talk to his Granny, so I thought we'd give you a call."
"Oh, I'm not feeling well today. I had another one of those attacks yesterday."

Alright, this is going from weird to worrisome.

"Attacks? What attacks?"

"Heart attacks."

"HEART attacks?! What? When did you start having heart attacks!?"

She's starting to get impatient with me, so she yells, "YES, heart attacks. Just like I've been having the past few months!"

What in the world?!?!?! I'm thinkin' Zorak's brother is SOOOOO in deep trouble for not mentioning that anything at all is wrong. And I'm really worried. When did she start having heart problems at all, let alone full-out heart attacks?

"And then I had another one of them things yesterday."

OK, whoa. There has to be something I'm not catching. Granny doesn't use dialect like that.

"This is _____ _____, isn't it?"

Suddenly, she can't understand a word I say. "What? I'm not feeling well."

"I am trying to reach ______'s home, and I have a suspicion I have the wrong number..."

"Well, I talked to my doctor, but I'm not going to the hospital. I won't do it."

"Yes. Well. Of course." (Awkward pause.) "Ma'am, I am very sorry to have disturbed you, but I'm trying to reach my mother-in-law, and I have the wrong number. I apologize."

Suddenly, her speech cleared up and she sounded just fine.

BUT, it wasn't my mother-in-law. And yes, it was a wrong number. I said my good-byes and hung up, breathing a huge sigh of relief.

And that's when I noticed Zorak, eyeballing me furiously while trying to navigate the Interstate, veins popping from his neck, eyebrows not only touching but actually overlapping. His head seemed to be leaning much farther from his body than physically possible.

And I looked back at him with that, "What? What are you doing?" expression... then it hit me - he'd only heard half that conversation. If I thought it was weird on my end, I can only imagine what ran through his mind! He didn't hear the last few bits about being a wrong number. Oops.

In the end, we did get through to Granny. She is fine. She got a chuckle out of the story, talked with John, and can't wait to see the boys soon.

*whew* And then I put her number in my speed dial, just to be on the safe side.

Will fill you in on John's adventures tomorrow. For now, however, I am one tired Mama.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy