Tuesday, October 23

Well, this is just weird

Zorak came into the room this morning to kiss me good-bye and exclaimed, "Why, you're holding a coffee cup!" I looked over, and yes, yes I was holding a coffee cup. In bed. While I slept. I didn't know what was going on, but it was clear that either my addiction has now gone way beyond humorous anecdotal self-degradation, or something else happened...

It took me a minute to clear the fog, but a foot to the kidney quickly brought it all into focus: Embaby was in our bed. Ahhh, okay. I think I remember something. It was dark, she was crying, I brought her to bed with us. After that, it all goes black. I went back to sleep. Zorak slept. However, from piecing together the evidence, it seems she didn't go back to sleep (like ALL the other children did in similar situations - I thought it was safe!) I've been up a little over an hour, now, and I'm finding evidence at every turn that she went foraging, exploring, one might say rampaging, finally collapsing back in our bed after a night of toddler partying that would have made John Belushi cringe.

Pistachio shells, sucked clean, lay along the couch. Garlic, lemon-lime, green chile, and red chile. It's all there.

An old-fashioned candy stick (the kind you get at Cracker Barrel) was stuck to the floor in the hallway, half-gnawed and still in the wrapper. We haven't been to Cracker Barrel in a while...

There were several naked dolls and various hard, poky things piled atop my pillow. Gifts, or threats? It's hard to tell, really.

There's a damp washrag on the floor behind my chair. I'm not even going to ask.

She keeps this up, though, and I'm getting ear plugs for me and a lid for her crib. I just hope this isn't indicative of how the rest of the day will go.

Kiss those strange little babies!
~Dy

13 comments:

mere said...

Oh my. Oh. My. My. My.

No, I wouldn't want to know where the damp wash cloth came from either, given S.J.'s afinity lately for playing in the toilet.

She is seriously going to earn her nick name of danger girl isn't she!? And give you a few more grey hairs in the process.

Wow. Just wow.

Have a good day!

mere

Rebel said...

So did SHE put the coffee cup in your hand? Maybe she was trying to wake you up?

Dy said...

Actually, I don't think it was empty when I went to bed last night. So, I suspect she was asking for more by bringing me her cup. :-S

ROFL Mere! Em's found the toilet, too. There was a rubber duck in it the other day. Took me hours to quit shuddering.

Emily (Laundry and Lullabies) said...

My word, that girl is certainly earning her nickname! Maybe a reversed lock on her door would be in order. :)

Needleroozer said...

Danger Girl strikes again! Too funny!
LB

Laura said...

That's hilarious! I think this little baby is going to keep you busy!

Jennie C. said...

You must sleep like the dead to have missed all this!

momanna98 said...

Too Funny! She sounds adorably evil.. hehehheh... (I can say that cause I have four of em) ;-) It sure makes me feel better about falling asleep on the couch and waking up to artwork on my walls, only to do the same thing over, and over.... :-)

Meliss said...

Thanks for the laugh! It is great reading entertainment, but I'm sorry for you. :)

Kathy Jo DeVore said...

LMAO This is why we have a baby gate at our bedroom door at night. :}

Staci Eastin said...

Oh, too funny.

Jenni said...

I just love EmBaby stories. She always makes me smile:o)

And I love my coffee cup, too, but I've never snuggled with it, LOL.

Melora said...

Wow! So, she's roaming the house at night, eating wierd foods & drinking coffee? Yikes! I'm sure I remember seeing crib lids back in the days when I got baby stuff catalogs, but somehow I don't believe that one would keep Em in.