Monday, September 11

This time, it's personal

There's mold, and this time, it's taken things a bit too far. It can no longer infest our mildew-resistant walls. It cannot fight the power of climate controlled air and tight plumbing. It cannot stand up to gutter control.

So it went after my books.

It must die. Oh, yes.

I won't complain if I have to redo a house or something, but you don't mess with da books! Grrrr.

From what we can gather, the seemingly dry basement walls were just damp enough to wick moisture into the boxes that touched the wall. Cardboard then goes from being "handy storage" to "mold feeding water capacitor" and Voila! There goes an entire weekend hauling all the books up out of the basement for a little fresh air and your standard pre-incarceration delousing. Damn, that makes me mad.

Work progressed on the school room, between creepy loads up from the basement. More plans for major renovation - this time involving new roof trusses and a vaulted ceiling. The hurrier we go, the behinder we get. (Was that Winnie the Pooh?) Anyhow, I believe now that keeping our eyes on future projects prevents us from becoming mired in the despair that is the current project. Eh. Okay. Everyone has their drug of choice. Denial is ours, and we'll take it straight up, thanks.

Thanks for the birthday wishes for Smidge. He had a fantastic birthday. I'll post pictures when we get the thing with the card thing hooked back up. (My IT brain is gone for the day, so that's the best I've got.)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Saturday, September 9

Keep Them Guessing

Tonight, we held the kickoff supper for the women's ministries. It was a nice evening in which four women spoke on seasons of life. That's a language we use often in homeschooling and general childrearing circles, and it's a beautiful way to describe the phases of chaos in which one lives. They divided the speakers into four seasons - for brevity as well as not having to make up new seasons, since we only decorations for the basic four, into "Youth", "Young Mother", "Empty Nester", and my personal favorite, "Perfectly Seasoned".

One way to capture your audience immediately is to begin your speech with, "Although I love my husband, and he is a wonderful man...*" Yup, that'll quiet a room pretty quickly. I did mean to say that, but I hadn't thought out the effect such an opening would have on those assembled until I looked up to see the Deer-In-The-Headlights reflections on three dozen stunned faces. Well, now the cat's out of the bag, I guess. We'll see on Sunday how well my words were received, eh?

I think two of the other women who spoke did so quite eloquently, expressing not only the challenges they face in their particular seasons, but how we (those of us in other seasons of life) can best support and encourage them. That was good. When you are a mother of small children, your field of vision is restricted to the five feet and under area, and anything that moves erratically. We don't mean to be anti-supportive or lack encouragement for others. Really, we don't. It's just that if we take our eyes off the target for a few moments, said target will sense an opening and get into something potentially dangerous, messy, or embarrassing. It was nice to hear, specifically, what will help others.

My little targets had a great day. Our Revised Attitude Toward Working Together went well today. We accomplished much. We were late for everything (we're only working on the attitudes, not the actual execution). We had a fantastic time. When I announced that we had, in fact, left the house without any yelling, we all erupted in a big Hurrah!

I've been good about doing my Latin (three days in a row now, woohoo). The math, not so much, but that's okay. Pretty soon the boys will be caught up and we can all hire a tutor for a group rate. The boys asked to do their lessons "the new way", so we did. We did not get a cake baked or a birthday present purchased, but that's okay. Smidge did tell us something funny today, at breakfast, though.

"OK, guys. I have a plan." It was so clear that all three of us turned to look at him. Yeah, what's your plan? "Tomorrow, *pause* when it's my birthday, *another pause* I'll turn three."

That's it. That's the plan. I like the way he thinks. So, that's the plan for tomorrow.

Zorak is home, now. He came bearing green chiles. Twenty-five pounds of green chiles. I think I'll forgive him for calling me from various restaurants in Las Cruces to tell me what he ordered and how good it was. For the next month, we will be adorning everything with green chile: eggs, sausage, steaks, stew, corn flakes, you name it.

(*) The end of that precarious opening line is, "I don't deserve him. But I have been given this marriage and this home and this family, and that's quite humbling. That is Grace in action, and that is my testimony." (Didn't want to leave anybody worried, you know.)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Thursday, September 7

Laughing Lessons

We haven't been laughing much lately. We've wanted to, but we've allowed other things to get in the way. Some of it needs to be addressed: obedience, respect, kindness, honesty. Some of it doesn't need the attention it's been getting, but rather just needs the gentle consistency that I completely lack. (I'm consistent, but far from gentle - that whole meek, quiet, gentle thing somehow got caught in the genetic filter of my parentage. Science has yet to come up with anything to remedy that, shy of a partial lobotomy. So, I'll keep working on it, but let's not push it.) And some of it is that we forget why we're doing what we're doing.

Today, I learned more than was jotted down in my planner. I hope to hold on to these lessons and use them before they slip away and I'm left wondering if I actually thought it, or just dreamed it, or if I'm plagarizing someone and going to lose my shirt over it.

Lesson I: Signs of encouragement:
* High-fives are a great way to say, "Good Job!"

* But a hug is even better for fostering smiles.

* Doing both will never hurt you, nor sap your day of precious time. Instead, the time spent : benefits received ratio is pretty darned high. It is guaranteed to benefit at least one, if not both parties involved.

* Encouragement is contagious, and the best way to spread it around is to just start in with it.

* If what you're doing isn't working, it's not necessarily the child.

* It's not necessarily you.

* It could actually be what you're doing.

Lesson II: Signs your child is bored and that it wouldn't hurt to change things around a bit:
* He's doing his math problems upside-down AND backward, and still getting the right answers.
* He's writing his answers in made up languages that only he can translate.
* With his non-dominant hand.
* In cursive.

Lesson III: Reminders that This Is Why We Homeschool:
* Wonderful friends who point out that you don't have to do every page, you know. If they don't get, try a new approach. But if they've got it, move on. (Residual Saxon guilt, I suppose. Thank you, LB!)
* Mastery vs. grades. I'm not assigning a grade until it's an "A". This does not mean they're going to coast and get straight "A" grades just because. It means the content they cover, they will know, and they will know it well. That is delightfully freeing.
* There is nothing wrong with asking a child how it's going, and then giving credence to what he/she has to say. Rather, that's the point, isn't it? How can we know if we don't ask, and how will they learn to articulate if we don't offer them the opportunity to do it in a safe and nourishing environment?

So today, there were Lessons for Mom tucked in among the worksheets and chants and stories. It was a good day for me, and tonight, for the first time in a long time, we gigled and laughed. We made sound effects and jokes and silliness. There were smiles and giggles and snorty guffaws. We needed that. We all did.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Some things we take for granted

And I'm not talking about things like indoor plumbing and diaper rash cream. Those, we've learned to appreciate. Every waking hour. It's the little things, such as items we run out of so seldom that we forget that it takes a modicum of effort on our part to keep things running smoothly.

Coffee filters, for instance. You buy 10,000 and forget about it for six months. Then one morning you stumble into the kitchen to find your spouse surreptitiously stuffing coffee grounds into one of your knee-hi stockings.

Dish Detergent is another thing. I do not take our three-legged dishwasher for granted. It may hobble about, but I know what awaits me if that thing dies, and so I treat it very, very well. But the detergent? Not something I really notice until I run out and don't have an outing on the schedule for two days. MAN, we do a lot of dishes! And no, I'm not washing them by hand. I could, yes, but that might anger the Dishwasher Spirit into leaving it's ugly little shrine under the counter, and then I would cry.

Naps. No, I don't take those for granted. They rate up there with chocolate, foot rubs, and the bliss that is waking before my children. So, no, naps don't go on the taken for granted list. But they are nice, and therefore, worthy of mention whenever possible.

The presence of another adult in the house, though, now that one, I take for granted. Except, you know, when there isn't another adult in the house. And I'm "it". I don't have enough apendages to be "it"! Somehow, I managed to feed and dress the children (cake and whatever was clean, it's all good), tidy the house a bit (restacking the dirty dishes multiple times), triple check the shopping list to make absolutely certain we had dish detergent on the list (it was, twice, even), and scootch out the door in time to run almost half the errands we needed to get done yesterday. Of course, none of that is new. Zorak's usually gone by the time we are up and in need of sustenance, anyway. But at the end of the day, he's usually there to pat me on the head like you would a good coon dog, and mutter promises that tomorrow will go more smoothly.

Which brings me to: Getting Out the Door. HUGE thing I used to take for granted, once upon a time. It takes longer to get out the door these days. Thankfully, the days of grabbing my keys and wallet as I head for the door a mere five minutes after I've decided to go somewhere have faded into the mist of memory - right along with the intensity of childbirth, the deep pang of dry heaves on tequila, and grocery shopping trips with just a quaint little bag for all my supplies. I have to think really hard to remember that there was such a time, and even then, I'm so steeped in today that I cannot call up the sensation, or even a good visual anymore. It's probably a good thing, because the comparision might make me cry (harder than losing the dishwasher).

It seems we spend more time preparing to go somewhere than we do actually going anywhere. There's the inevitable missing shoe (are those things allergic to each other, that they cannot stay in the closet together?), the ever-important whatchamacallit that we need new batteries for (and somehow, we need to find and take with us in order to remember this?), the one-armed loading process (because Miss Emily evidently thinks I need a handicap for this event), the dog (who will not get in the car when he needs to, but keeps trying to get in any other time), the blank stare in response to my complicated demands (climb in, buckle up, let's go!), and the always fun hunt for the carseat carrier after those occasions we'd naively carried a sleeping Miss Emily, carrier and all, into the house, thinking she'd stay asleep. If our pastor's wife hadn't said the same thing last night, I'd probably be worried about this.

But some things I don't take for granted: the comfort of a head count five miles down the road (at least, when it comes back that all are present or at least accounted for); a chance to swing a child up and around as I lift him out of the car, just to hear his squeals and giggles; warm, chubby hands in mine as we walk along; the excitement of new batteries (although why nobody recommended we buy stock in Duracell before we had children, I will never understand); hearing "HOME! YAY!" as we pull back into the drive after a Very Long Day. And those things, among many others, make it all worth it.

So I'm learning not to take so much for granted these days.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Tuesday, September 5

Stuff

Learning never stops, does it? On my fourth child now, and I still forget things and learn new things. When we were at Dinosaur Adventure Land, they did some electricity demonstrations for the kids. The tour guide was great and kept the whole thing very hands on. Miss Emily sat happily, or at least patiently, in her sling, and I was completely tuned into the boys and their adventure. The guide turned off the lights, advised us to keep our eyes on the overhead fluorescents, turned on the Tesla coil, and
"HOLY MOTHER OF-- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? WE'RE GOING TO DIE! If I could walk, I'd run! Why aren't YOU running woman? Go!Go!Go! I'm going to die! HELLLLLPPPPP! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"


Ohhh, yeah. I didn't stop to think what a shock that display would be to someone who, (a) couldn't understand a word that was said, (b) had no idea what was going on, when suddenly there's a leaping blue flame setting the ceiling aglow in the dark, joined by a loud crackling, surging, faintly terrifying sound... and the mass intake of breath from all the little observers. Right. Freaking. There. In front of me. Once it was turned off, she quit screaming instantly, but she was pretty torqued for about an hour after that. So, I was quite appreciative when the guide took the boys so they could enjoy the rest of the demonstration while Miss Emily and I watched from the relative safety of the outdoors.

Today was a great day, as mail goes. The boys new Copybooks and my Henle arrived. Part of the boys' Latin for Children arrived. I've been eyeballing the Henle all day, and wondering if I could bribe Steph Not in Texas to hold my hand for just a few more steps. It only took me two years to order it - so I figure I should get through lesson 1 in three or four months, right?

I find it ironic that I am now, in my mid-ish 30's, taking up Latin. It was offered at one of my high schools, but we were required to take a foreign language in 9th grade, which was still at the jr. high - and Latin was not offered at the jr. high. Graduation requirements stated that the two years of foreign language had to be two years in the same language, and we had to take a foreign language our Freshman year. Sooo... guess who refused to take Latin? Because that extra year of high school Spanish has served me so well, right? This is why we are not living on our own at the ripe old age of 14. We're idiots, and what's worse, we're myopic idiots. I'm not saying I'd have taken Latin if someone had explained the virtue and importance of pursuing Latin studies. But it'd be nice to know. More importantly, it's important to have our eyes on the years after that seemingly all-important ceremony. Learning doesn't end there. God willing, learning won't end at all, as long as we've breath to take. But it's the rare child who gets that at 14. I learned more Spanish working in various industries over the years after I graduated than I did in those two long years in high school. I've learned more math along the way, as well as slowly and painfully working on that slightly myopic view of the future. I'm also learning to be a better mother with every day. Thankfully.

Off to figure out which end is up!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Photos!

I spent the last part of this evening uploading photos, which has left me sans mental reserves to think up something creative. Or even mildly interesting. So, while these aren't Home Renovation Photos, they are Photos. I hope that counts. :-)

This is what the bigger two boys looked like during most of our time in Florida:


I'm not sure what was being said, but it doesn't look like she thought it was as funny as he did...


Once you can sit up on your own, the world is yours to enjoy!


John wasn't so sure about the zip line...


Neither was James...


But they went for it!


Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Monday, September 4

We've been busy!

The bathroom door is now painted with two non-dripping coats of mildew resistant paint, in a lovely shade of... well, white. But it is a nice white. And it's shiny and easy to clean, too. It's the little things.

Next week's lesson plans are done. Now to put everything together. I panicked when I realized how many hands-on projects I'd penciled in. What was I thinking? It's going to be a long week, but if we can pull it off, just think how interactive and delightful it will be for the children! I can always brew the coffee double strength and jack up the creamer level.

The second closet in the nursery has shelves. They look nice, so clean and level. By tomorrow, hopefully, they'll be buried beneath all the cr-- er, supplies, we have in the school room.

And, judging by the look on James' face when I mentioned today that soon this house will look like a normal house, like his friends' homes do, it is clear to me that he still does not believe us, but has chosen silence as his particular mode of survival. Well, the voice may be quiet, but those eyebrows can say a lot! It'll be so nice when we can give that child a normal life. He really deserves it. He's been a trooper.

Promotion Sunday went well - John loves being in the 1st & 2nd grade class. He's feeling pretty big, now. James is happily snugged in among his favorite girls in the 3rd & 4th grade class, and they're assigning daily reading and study for the kids, which has him tickled three shades of pink.

Smidge didn't change classes for the fall. He'll remain as one of the "older kids", and that suited him just fine. He took off into his class without a second glance at us. It's his class now, and his room, and his teacher. And I'm glad. It was worth it to wait until they each were ready to go. We aren't big on saying, "This is how you raise children." There's a huge swath of acceptable options, and it's nobody's job to raise your children but you (or our children, us). But I have no trouble saying, without hesitation, "This is something we're glad we've done." There were no tears, no "adjustment periods". We feel that little guys shouldn't have to "adjust" to us not being there if they just honestly don't have to, and things like Sunday School or nursery are among the non-necessities. They aren't Have To's. The little ones will go when they're ready, and if they know we're there, it's easier for them to get ready.

I'm glad we've not buckled under the pressures, subtle and not-so-much-so, to let the children cry it out in the nursery. It wouldn't have been worth it, and it wouldn't have brought any of them closer to this point any more quickly. The path would have been strewn with tears, instead of warm memories. So, one more round of the, "yes I know you have a nursery, but I'll keep her with me" litany, and then we're done.

The day will come, all too soon, when Miss Emily bolts for the classroom door and flings her arms around Mrs. B in a joyful, gee-I've-missed-you embrace. It will be wonderful, when the time comes. But I'm in no hurry, for then my arms and my lap will be empty. There will be no more little heads to nestle my nose into while I listen to the study. There will be no spontaneous hugs, or quiet, conspiratorial nose rubs. No secreted and shared mints, no wild toddler doodles on my study notes at the end of my Sunday mornings. It will be quiet, and still. Very still. Which is good, in its own way, but why rush it? It will come soon enough, no?

Kiss those babies. They just don't stay babies for long.
~Dy

Sunday, September 3

Overheard and Remodel Stuff

"Look, Mom," James calls to me from beside Emily, who was perched on a pillow, "A plate of laughter with a side of smiles!"

Smidge, after story time tonight: "I want to be three."

John, explaining how he knew we were having pizza for supper: "I figured it out because I'm smart... and *giggle* I peeked."

**********************************************************************

We've kicked ourselves back into gear on the house. We have simply got to get this finished. So, today we:

* Laid out the shelving plan for the second closet in the nursery.
* Hung a door in the guest room. (See, if you come stay with us for one month, you get walls. If you stay for two, you get a door! Poor Ward.)
* Painted the bathroom door.
* Laid out the plans to frame out the new bath and storage closet in the basement.
* Cleaned, cleaned, cleaned.

We're in full live-in sprawl mode right now, and that's made it difficult to keep making progress on the actual work. Things get set in unpainted windowsills, and when I have time to paint, I find that I don't have the time to move, clean, paint, and then find a home for all the other stuff before somebody needs to be fed, cleaned, or loved on. So. Not much gets done.

Same thing with this last room. There simply isn't anywhere to put the stuff that has landed in here. I suppose we could stack it all on the dining table and eat around it... or, stuff it under the beds and then buy duplicates when we forget where we've put it all... or set in on fire. Yeah, I'm at that point.

Back away from the clicky torchy thing, Dy... just back away. It'll be alright.

The general game plan now is that we'll finish building stuff this weekend (shelving for the closet, toy shelf, printer stand). Then, while Zorak's gone next week, the kids and I will clear out the school room and further organize things. Next weekend is Smidge's birthday, so we'll focus on that, but the following week will be my trim assault mission (hopefully, I will not be staring at a partially trimmed ceiling in five years - this is my hope), culminating in a weekend (what is that, the 15th?) where we will do the wiring and walls in the school room.

And then (THEN!) we can make the final selection on flooring! WOOHOO! I told the boys I'm buying each of them a Swiffer when we get flooring laid. :-) They're almost as excited as I am. With Zorak's traveling, and our sprawl, it's going to be rough just to meet that three-week timeline, but I think we can do it. The weather's cool and breezy. The air feels relatively dry, and eventually I will get to bed before two AM. What a glorious day that will be, no?

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Thursday, August 31

Sargent, The Troops Are Mobile!

It looks like Miss Emily needs some good camo to go with her Army crawl. She's whizzing from place to place, completing mission objectives with alarming speed. It also seems she will be the one child of ours who'll eat anything. Tonight, she ate two patches off Smidge's Pioneer Club baldrick.

Zorak's workplace had its once-a-year mandatory-fun-day today. This is the one time of year family members are allowed on base without having to give bodily fluid samples and extensive background information. They had good food, mediocre music, and the most frightfully rude clown I've ever seen in my life. At least, in a child-oriented clown. There was that awkward incident in the hospitality room with the Shriners one year, but as far as an on-the-job kids' clown goes, this guy took the cake. We nearly walked off when he tried to convince James that it's okay to tell your mother, "Chill, Woman," when she corrects you for breaking a pretty common rule. James didn't know how to take the man, and he stood quietly while I stood my ground. When the man told me that kids don't have to ask permission to touch other people's things, the kid stepped back a bit, and the look on his face was a cross between, "I don't want to be near you when the lightning strikes," and "Is this how rabies manifests itself in humans?" The man went on to brag about how he taught his four year old grandson to throw up his hand and say, "Speak to the hand" when the child's mother asked him to come here. I've never seen someone act so gleefully spiteful like that, but he certainly didn't make a positive impression on any of the kids in line with us. Or their mothers. What a jackass. Once we escaped the sociopath clown, however, we had a lovely time.

James did a great impression of a 65-year old Catholic lady on Bingo night. I had to stay at the Bingo Tent while Zorak took Smidge and John fishing because James simply was not going to move. Well, no, that's not accurate. If we'd told him it was time to go, he'd have gone, and he would not have complained. He is very good about that. We just couldn't bring ourselves to do that to him, though. He was in the ZONE, and having an absolute blast. It's not often he finds activities that grab his attention like that - activities that are just for fun, no mathematical work, no cerebral challenge, just fun. Be a kid. Talk with your neighbors. Giggle. Chat. Eat ice cream. That's it, kid, have fun. How could we say no? So, we didn't. And I'm so glad.

John got to fish a while, and on the way out, he fielded a foul ball back to a softball game. The guys were so sweet to him, and you'd have thought he'd been allowed to join in pre-season play for the pros. Man, that was cute. Then he walked right into the wagon as we left because he couldn't peel his eyes off the game. Um, yeah, outfield may not be the position for him...

And that wonderful weather? It held. It was delightful! The air, it moved. The sun, it shone gently. The temperature, it stayed put. Oh, man, this was nice!

Oh, and while I'm at it: THREE CHEERS FOR JIM AND LISA, the MATH-U-SEE reps in Georgia!! I placed my order Tuesday, smack at the height of Panic-Stricken Curriculum Ordering Season, and this afternoon we had a box waiting for us on the porch. Wow, great service, guys!! The boys opened the box, gathered up their new books, and paraded them around with glee. We also got an incredibly clear sentence from Smidge, who pointed to the stack and said, "I want a book like THAT!" Math-U-See: not just for math skills anymore! Yay. :-)

The day ended on a delightful note. There are very few regrets in looking back over the day. Plenty of smiles. A lot of hugs and hand-holding. Tons of giggles, and a lot of working together. It was a good day. A day to savor, and remember.

Off to kiss my babies!
~Dy