Huh.

Let's file this under the "Thank heaven these things aren't really this size" category, shall we? (The big bush in front of it is probably three, or three-and-a-half feet tall. Yikes.)

I had a bunch to say. Then John came down sick. At first, it was "cranky, headachy" sick. (Which can often be confused with "don't wanna unload the dishwasher" sick, so I didn't worry too much.) But come bedtime, he had that Kill Me Now look on his face, and he didn't laugh at any of the funny parts of the story. (Which could also be my reading skills, so again, not much worry.) Till I reached over to kiss him goodnight, and he was hot to the touch. Gah.

For future reference, the thermometers are in the shallow drawer beneath the bathroom sink. I say this now, because I will not remember the next time we need to find them. (There are several in there - you'd think I'd strew them about the place, to increase the odds that we'll find one when we need it, huh? Nope. Everybody needs a good panicky sensation once in a while.)

He's tucked in and sound asleep, with a cup of ginger ale and a box of tissues by his bedside. I hated to dose him up, but his fever was high enough that we felt it'd be best to let him get some rest, so he's been dosed and snuggled, and instructed to beat on something if he has trouble breathing. (I'm sure that was a comforting thing to hear, huh? Oh, well, he's asleep now.)

And with that, I'm just going to go sit watch. Because sometimes, that's what you do.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Friday!

Some people will be posting Fine Art Friday. Not me. I don't think we even have a working Etch-A-Sketch anymore. But that's okay. It's still Friday. WOOHOO!

The boys last night wanted to know when we were going to decorate for Halloween. Huh? Decorate for Halloween? What do you mean? Didn't ya see the cobwebs over the porch door frame? The spiders in the windows? If that isn't Authentic Halloween Decor, I don't know what is! John got all misty-eyed, and said, "I miss Maryland." (OH! Yeah. Miss Erin, our wonderful neighbor there, has this hideous ability to do crafty things for holidays. And I could take advantage of going down there to drink her coffee and let my kids do crafty things on her back porch rather than on our white carpet. It seemed so easy at the time. I forgot. I'll have to have a talk with her about setting the bar way too high on this issue.)

Honestly, I can't believe they don't know by now that I'm Really Bad At That Stuff. I don't decorate for anything but Christmas, and that has to be done surrepetitiously because Zorak doesn't decorate for Christmas without wifely bribes and a blood oath that I'll keep the radio off the Christmas Music Station. So, truthfully, I think they knew what they were doing in suggesting this activity. Great, holiday mafia. Perhaps they'll work for Hallmark one day.

So. Because I am a softie, I'm hoping I can just break out the window markers and craft paper and let them design their own window decorations. We don't have white carpet in this house, so I don't care what they do on the floors! (Yes, decorator choices via lifestyle weaknesses. It's all the rage among, well, parents.)

At least they'll have costumes. Mostly. Maybe. EmBaby will be a lion. (The same lion Smidge was our first Halloween here in AL. I cannot believe she's that big, already.) Smidge, who, for the past *year*, has wanted to be a pirate, saw the snake costume last night and decided on the spot that there's nothing more he'd like to be than a 'nake. *sniff* That was John's costume. Er, when he was two... I'm not sure it'll fit, but we'll give it a shot. John's costume seemed so easy, particularly since we have Zorak's graduation robe to alter into a Hogwart's robe. But I'm having trouble locating it, now. And the glasses? The wand? A tie? How can something so popular be so difficult to shop for? I don't get it. And then there is James. Superman "for the third year running" - it's more of an internal competition for him, I think. Seemed easy enough. However, there is not, it seems, a Superman costume in size 10, anywhere in Madison county. We'll try Morgan county today. I asked James what his backup plan was, and he said, "Oh. Well, my backup plan is to ask you to make one." Heh. Yeah. Not when we've been gone this much, and we're 24 hours out from the party. No. Keep brainstorming, kiddo. Perhaps you can go as The Neglected Child.

I don't really need a housekeeper, or a laundress. Not even a cook. What I really, desperately need is a Holiday Nanny. Somebody to come swooping in about three weeks before each major holiday and whip us into shape. Then go. Leave. I'm not equipped to handle that much extra laundry and clean-up duty year-round.

But since we don't have that, we'll make do. And it'll be okay. (But Erin, if you get a box with air holes in it, open immediately. It'll have holiday-deprived children in it!)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Dental Update

Zorak just called. He didn't give details, but a basic report:

No New Cavities on any of the boys!

WOOHOO!

OK, no matter what else might be a mess right now, all is right with my world, for a few, brief moments.

James does have some "deep fissures" on his back molars that they'd like to seal in the next few months, and that's a-okay with me. It's worth the money for the added protection. (You know, when we talked about the characteristics and traits we hoped each child would inherit, my teeth were nowhere on the list. *sigh* Poor kids.)

I'm off to make biscuits, gravy, and eggs for a late brunch. Happy Day.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Late Night Recap

Zorak brought me a small creamer to tide me over until tomorrow's grocery run. Is that love, or what?

The boys get to go to the dentist tomorrow. Seriously, they're psyched about it. Smidge and John both want to make sure they get up early enough to spike their hair (it finally came out that this desire to have 'pikey hair, as Smidge calls it, comes from Dr. B, who does, in fact, have very 'pikey hair). Smidge also informed me while we flossed that he's considering dentistry, rather than engineering. What the older two will do with their plans for a wholly sibling-run engineering firm, I don't know. Perhaps they can contract with him for employee dental care?

Truthfully, I don't get it, but I am not. saying. a word. Know what I mean? If a dentist can inspire this kind of confidence and admiration in children who've been under his drill, then there's got to be something to it, I think. Plus, all the work he's done has actually stayed done. I have no problem coughing up the money for the cool surf-board-style chairs when the work is done well. AND (as if we need more reasons?), his office staff is stellar about scheduling as many children as possible all in one block. That can't be easy for them, to have us loitering there for hours on end, but it's a significant help to me not to make the 45 min. drive more often than absolutely necessary, or have to stay in town for several hours between appointments. So, off we go in the morning, and hopefully their teeth haven't gotten worse since the last check up. *fingers crossed*

In honor of the chilly weather, and the fact that the children spent the day wearing their blankets like sarapes, we brought up the winter clothes tonight. Looks like Smidge and Em are set. Still not sure on John. He's at such a strange point with his growth. Anything from a 6 to a 10 might fit, but you'll just have to try it to know for sure. And James is going to have to come shopping with me tomorrow afternoon. There's just no two ways about it. Thankfully, he has shoes, so I won't be faced with the same emotional trauma Mere experienced the other day. I can happily plug my ears and sing to myself and not look at the size tags. (I'm thinking a similar approach may come in handy when he shows an interest in girls, too. Sort of a self-preservation Tourette's. Every time he mentions a girl-who-is-just-a-friend, I can shriek loudly and start humming to myself. I'll let ya'll know how that pans out.)

The Week of the One Vehicle Family may soon be at an end. Let us all pause while I sigh in relief. It's not that we go anywhere, really, or that we've gone without at all (Zorak calls on his way home everyday to see if we need something). It's just that I've spent the week with one heck of an eye twitch, regularly threatening the children with bodily harm if they so much as come close to needing a trip to the ER while Zorak's at work. Yes, I see the irony in that. Thankfully, only the older two get it. The smaller ones, who are most likely to need a trip to the ER (also ironic), are completely convinced that it's a legitimate argument. The two who get it know I'm joking. Mostly. But they've been Very Careful this week, and I appreciate it.

And that's about it. I'd better get some sleep, or I fear I'll curl up on a dentist's chair and crash while the boys are getting their checkups!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Still No Card

Well, the SSA office called back. Actually, it seems I'd spoken with the supervisor, who tracked it down and made the pleasant lady I'd originally dealt with call me back. (He had asked if we'd provided a vaccination card as proof of ID, and when I mentioned how extremely unprofessional the woman at the desk had been, he said, "Oh, okay, based just on that, I know who you dealt with. OK, I can find it now." Lovely. I got his problem child. We're paying this woman to drop the ball and foist her attitude and personal philosophies on citizens. Makes ya feel all warm and fuzzy, doesn't it? Your tax dollars at work.

When she called back, she began the conversation with, "I have all the original paperwork here, and I've *just* re-faxed the copy of your birth certificate to Montgomery."

What?

"Well, sometimes faxes don't go through, and we have no way of knowing."

What?!? (I'm sorry, but the last time I worked in the corporate world, it was for Xerox, and I am very well aware that fax confirmation is a standard feature on business machines. And that was ten years ago. You know when it went through.) So what she meant to say was, "Maybe it did, maybe it didn't. I never checked."

I asked if she has, oh, a phone number in Montgomery, so that she could call down there to confirm whether they received it. She said it's their policy to wait. Then she started in on how difficult it is to get a number for a child if you don't do it immediately upon birth, and that's why hospitals handle it, and really, if we hadn't waited so long...

(Sooooo, if we hadn't waited so long, you'd have checked to see if the fax went through? Or if we hadn't had a homebirth, you wouldn't have your hackles up? What, exactly, is the problem, here? Because from where I'm standing, it looks like Federal Gov't inefficiency, to me.)

I cut her off and let her know that I expect to hear from her regularly on this, and I will be calling weekly until I have a number. (What other options do I have? If there's a way to be more proactive on this, or circumvent the woman, please fill me in.)

And yes, yes I do look at situations like this and absolutely wonder at how anybody thinks nationalizing any industry is a good idea. It's a terrifying concept.

argh.
Dy

Oh, yeah, let's make it BIGGER

So, remember my little visit to the Social Security Administration, back at the beginning of September? Here's a recap, taken from an update in the comments section:

Well, the doctor's office put together a "packet", which they hoped would suffice. It included a vaccination card (which is empty, but it's filled in w/ the required information, and a note on the bottom that we have opted to delay vaccines). The SS lady held it up, *scoffed at me* and said, "And just where, exactly, did you get THIS from?" I got it, exactly, from the child's pediatric office, and it was one item which *your* office expressly cited as "acceptable". She furrowed her brows at me, "It's empty."

Well, hey, she doesn't have to be vaccinated in order to get a ss#. (That'll come later, under Universal Health Care.) I'm providing this as one of YOUR acceptable forms of ID. *big smile*

She wouldn't accept it. I guess it looked fake.

Fortunately, the rest of the packet, although each individual piece of evidence was dismissed, did, when taken as a whole, provide enough information that they couldn't show us the door without more effort than it was worth.

Now she'll send the copy of the original birth certificate (the copy she made, herself, from the original, there in the office) to Montgomery, where they will verify that it is "an exact copy of the original", and then they will mail us the card.

Honestly, if the use and abuse of a social security number were better monitored (and abuses prosecuted) -- if there was any validation for all of this "security", I wouldn't mind so much. But as it stands, they are holding our money (tax refund) hostage until we jump through the mystery hoops. It's ridiculous.

So, we're well past the three week mark. Or the six week mark. We're sneaking up on the eight week mark, and we thought FOR CERTAIN there'd be a social security number waiting for us at the post office. Nope. Not even a hint of a number, or a note, or a Dear John letter. Nothing.

I'd called in the past to check on the status, and every time, I have to hang up after five or six minutes on hold because, well, children get hungry. Or poop. Or mutiny. Today, I hung in there. Thirty three minutes on hold, but I got a human.

A human who has no record of our application, my existence, or EmBaby's birth. Mmmmm, yeah. OK, so this is working well, no? Sure! What else can we put the Federal Gov't in charge of, while we're at it? Gah.

Kiss those babies ~ legal, or not. ;-)
Dy

Well, this is just weird

Zorak came into the room this morning to kiss me good-bye and exclaimed, "Why, you're holding a coffee cup!" I looked over, and yes, yes I was holding a coffee cup. In bed. While I slept. I didn't know what was going on, but it was clear that either my addiction has now gone way beyond humorous anecdotal self-degradation, or something else happened...

It took me a minute to clear the fog, but a foot to the kidney quickly brought it all into focus: Embaby was in our bed. Ahhh, okay. I think I remember something. It was dark, she was crying, I brought her to bed with us. After that, it all goes black. I went back to sleep. Zorak slept. However, from piecing together the evidence, it seems she didn't go back to sleep (like ALL the other children did in similar situations - I thought it was safe!) I've been up a little over an hour, now, and I'm finding evidence at every turn that she went foraging, exploring, one might say rampaging, finally collapsing back in our bed after a night of toddler partying that would have made John Belushi cringe.

Pistachio shells, sucked clean, lay along the couch. Garlic, lemon-lime, green chile, and red chile. It's all there.

An old-fashioned candy stick (the kind you get at Cracker Barrel) was stuck to the floor in the hallway, half-gnawed and still in the wrapper. We haven't been to Cracker Barrel in a while...

There were several naked dolls and various hard, poky things piled atop my pillow. Gifts, or threats? It's hard to tell, really.

There's a damp washrag on the floor behind my chair. I'm not even going to ask.

She keeps this up, though, and I'm getting ear plugs for me and a lid for her crib. I just hope this isn't indicative of how the rest of the day will go.

Kiss those strange little babies!
~Dy

Don't tell the kids, but we're such softies...

"Don't get too near it, kids! It's wild!"

You've *named* it?

*sigh* OK.

So if I say it's a barn cat, will that make it a barn cat?

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Sweet Relief

I awoke this morning to find it felt about twenty degrees warmer than when I went to bed last night. And, no sun. Ohhh, I know what this means:

Compliments of The Weather Channel. See that patch of dark green? We're in that! WOOHOO! A reprieve from the drought!

Well, that's certainly a good reason to procrastinate erm, wait on the painting.

We'll probably go play in it for a bit, too, if it's one of those warm, fall rains. (If it's not, then the kids will probably go play in it while I sit on the porch and wonder "what's wrong with kids these days". Heh. Yep.)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy