Hi all...

Just slipping in nonchalantly to, um, procrastinate a bit. I think I'm done messing up Emily's kitchen, now. And the laundry is done (at least at my house, I don't know about hers). The bathroom's clean. The guest room's clean. BabyGirl's room is clean. Life is lookin' better all the time!

The boys are outside. They helped until lunch, and they were so diligent and didn't whine (even when I wanted to) that I just had to turn them loose to run and play for the rest of the day. It sounds like they're having fun out there, too, but I'm... I'm... I think I'm ready to get up and do a little more.

Am I the only one who likes to come home to a clean house? To the point of making everybody else nuts in the last few days before a trip? It's worth the insanity to drag a travel-weary body into a clean and inviting home at the end of a long day. Preferably, a home that says, "Hey! I've missed you guys! Come on in. The beds are ready. The dishes are clean, and if you'll give the coffee pot a minute, he'll have a little somethin' for you."

Yeah, I'm glad we bought a house that can talk.

But now it's whispering that it's bigger than I think and I'd best get off my duff and finish or I... *gulp* won't finish. (Well, that sounded far more sinister than it did in my head. The voice isn't threatening me, just warning me that I may have to leave something unmopped or unwashed.)

Ah, yeah, I'll be going now.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

I love that man.

Tonight, amidst all the "fun" of roasting marshmallows and moths outside, I hopped back into the house for more coffee. It wasn't until I was all the way in the kitchen again that I heard a creepy scritching sound following me. It sped up when I did, stopped when I did.

I could still hear the children laughing in the yard, which meant either Zorak was behind me, or they hadn't seen the mass murderer enter the house. But *something* was wrong. I could even feel it in my back and right leg.

Step.
Scritch.
Step-step.
Scritch-scritch.

I think my body is starting to slip into paralysis! I can hardly lift my leg now!

*schloop-scritch*

Wait. Just. One. Second.

*peek*

Sure enough, I somehow managed to step on a melted marshmallow. And then on about two inches of leaf debris on my way to the porch. That would account for the scritching, the discomfort in my right leg (which was hefted up a good two inches), and the trouble lifting said leg. But what could possibly account for the fact that I didn't think to look under my foot to begin with?

*sigh* I don't know.

I scraped most of it off, then the small ones came at me with their flaming trophies and I had to hot-foot it back outside before they set fire to the floor or the curtains. And then there was bedtime, and laundry. And that death nap thing with the Elmo chair. The shoe lay, forgotten and sticky, in the kitchen.

Just now, Zorak asked if I wanted to go see the progress on the railings. Yeah, but I've got to mess with my shoe first. I stepped on something...

"I know," he said, smiling and pouring coffee. "I already cleaned it."

Oh. *sniff* I love you! I have to go blog this. *sniff*

But now I have to go because he took the coffee and left for the porch without me. He was muttering something about "addictions" and "obsessive behavior". Huh. Wonder what that meant? We'll blog about it later, right?

Dy

Top Ten Ways I Procrastinate

You know, I really shouldn't get on the boys about procrastinating. Ever. I have absolutely no right. Oh, sure, I get all noble and righteous about how I don't want them to make the same mistakes I've made. But the truth of the matter is that they are going to have to take care of me in my old age, and I have no desire to suffer hallucinations, thinking I've been left in a cave because they keep putting off giving me my medications or taking me out for an airing.

I should be cleaning.
I should be packing.
I should be digging up forms of identification.

But is that what I did tonight?
Of course not.

I played with the squash (fresh ginger and garlic - almost a big hit).

I okay'd the roasting of the marshmallows in the front yard. (Yep, that desperate not to have to do anything productive.)

And then, just to prove a point and win my medal, I fell asleep arched backwards across a foam Elmo chair in the boys' room. Perhaps that'll get me a silver. If I'd been truly dedicated to not being up and mobile, I'd have gone that extra mile and drowned in my own spit or something, considering the angle of my head and such.

Ah, well. OK. So I'll be productive tomorrow. What do you do to put off the less pleasant tasks?

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Oh, my!

We're going to have to pick up the pace in the kitchen now. Sunny (the name for our new kitchen servant *wink*) is fast. Startlingly fast. Egg whites whip up into "soft peaks" in a matter of seconds - just enough time for each of the cavebabies to oogle the process, and then *poof*, it's time for me to step in and do something... but what? I normally read the recipe over while I'm whipping... where's the recipe? where's the spoon? what's the... ohhhhh, lookit that!

*heh*

This is fun. And the banana bread looks higher and fluffier than it's ever been before.

I *heart* Sunny.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Oh, and the pancakes...

I'd mentioned last week that we had that rice and buttermilk thing congealing on the kitchen counter...

It works! It's officially been deemed by even the non-wf folks in the household to be "The Best Pancakes Ever And Can We Eat These Several Times A Week". So, having passed the Flavor Board (ha ha - little wf inside joke, there - board, cardboard, lumber... *ahem* yeah...) Here ya go!

(*edited to add: I got this from someone who got it from somebody else who'd shared it on a forum. Today I heard it's originally from a Sue Gregg cookbook. So. Due credit. The recipe is hers. The comments from the peanut gallery are mine. :-)*)

Brown Rice Pancakes

Before you go to bed, pour into a blender:
1 1/2 C. UNcooked brown rice (yeah, I know, weird)
1 1/2 C. buttermilk (or regular milk with about a Tablespoon of vinegar)
2 Tbsp. oil (veggie, flax, whatever)
1 tsp. vanilla

Blend on HIGH for 3 minutes. Go to bed and try not to fret over ingesting dairy that's been left out all night.

In the morning, add:
1 egg
Blend for 1 minute.

Add:
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp salt

Blend just enough to get it mixed in well. Then cook like you would normal pancakes. (Listen to me - "normal". OK, fine, pour by 1/4 cupfuls onto a hot griddle. Flip them when the top is covered in bubbles, and then they're done when the bottom is browned nicely. There, more specific detail.)

I haven't tried these with the coconut milk, but have to say that coconut milk and a banana thrown in would probably be delicious!

They do work okay with rice milk, as well. (If anybody tries any other substitutions, as always, please leave a comment and share the wisdom you've gained. The wheat-free label works best when y'all don't just have to rely on what we've pulled off, ya know.)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Blogging Wounded

I did something bad and painful to my right arm earlier this week, and it hurts to breathe. Typing isn't easier. So, please accept my apologies if I didn't reply to each of the wonderful comments on the bricks, and the paint. I did read them all (reading doesn't hurt much), and your insights and stories were more helpful than I can say. Thank you!

Oh, I think I now know what early man looked like when he discovered the secret to fire. My guys gave me a Sunbeam stand mixer for Mother's Day. We loaded up the bowls, turned it on, and the clan gathered 'round to stare in awe at the technology. I'd have taken pictures, because it looked hilarious, but I was one of those standing around the fire, um, the mixer. We grunted. We oooohhhhh'd. We ahhhhhh'd. The Small Ones poked at it. The Big Ones admonished the Small Ones not to put their fingers in there because it'll snap them in two. Then, when they weren't looking, we Big Ones put our fingers in there, just to see.

It's delightful, and powerful, and wonderful, and did I mention delightful? I know, I know, domestic accessories aren't everybody's cuppa for gift-giving. But this is, for me, more akin to buying ammunition for an avid shooter, or parchment for a die-hard calligrapher. This little baby has just taken an activity I enjoy and engage in regularly (namely, making all this heavy, dense, wheat-free grain into edible foodstuffs), and turned it into less of a career and more of a hobby. I haven't words to describe the joy that brings me.

But you wanna know the best parts? Zorak has fallen in love with the Mixer. We made pizza for Sunday Supper, for the Usual Crowd. Three of the five of them are wheat-free, also, so I made the wf crusts in the mixer and we stood around staring at it while it worked. Then I rinsed the bowls. (Ta-da! All done!) Then Zorak stepped in to make his Famous Pizza Crust... and he could not believe how simple it is to make dough using the stand mixer. He's been singing its praises ever since. It makes me glad to know he doesn't view it as "one of those contraptions the missus has been clamoring for". Not that he'd ever say that, but, well, yeah. Nice to know he likes it, too.

And, as usual, the boys were just delightful. They planned a treasure hunt (for the record, I'd make a lousy treasure hunter - the maps were excellent, but I'm navigationally impaired). They made the entire breakfast, from the coffee to the bacon. They served the meal, and did the most hilarious Serious Waiter impressions I've ever seen. Then they butchered a few songs for my edification, and Emily's. As a matter of fact, the singing went a little long because of her addiction-inspiring squeak-n-squeal of joy. That was fun, and after all was said and done, we got to work on the framing for the screened-in front porch.

OK, I say "we", but what I mean is "Zorak". I took a vicodin and slept on the couch for a few hours. Then I sat on the porch letting him know I wish I could *wince* help *wince*. Yeah, I'm sure that made him feel better as the got the boards cut and fitted and secured into place. He's so good to us.

Happy Belated Mother's Day. I hope your day was just as delightful as ours.

Kiss those babies (and Daddies)!
~Dy

What Shall We Do With A Dated Brick Home?

Well, the inside of our wonderful Forever Home just looks and feels (and smells) so much better now than it did when we first adopted it. We're pretty happy with the work that's been done, and the work that will be done, and we have a clear vision for all that. But now we're faced with a New Challenge (one I'd hoped to put off for a while, actually).

The Forever Home is A Brick Home.

This is a huge thing to many people. They love brick. For myriad reasons, however, we just aren't enamoured with brick. More specifically, *this* brick...

I know, heresy. Yes. There, we've said it. But honestly, this house isn't ensconced in a lovely, timeless brick that harkens back to ages past. It's covered in That 70's Brick.
Click on the picture. There, do you see the little decorative swirlies there? On every. brick. Wasn't that creative? Eventually, the brick is comin' off, and it'll be replaced by stone and stucco, and it will be *lovely*.

HOWEVER, all that's going to have to wait for the den, and the master bedroom expansion.

So.

That leaves us with brick (this brick) for at least the next 5-7 years. (Because we are SO taking a break to enjoy this place between major jobs!) But in the meantime, my house is really ugly on the outside, and we'd like to do something not hideously expensive to update the exterior. Obviously, fresh paint on the trimwork will help, but I'm wondering if any of you have ever resurfaced a brick home? I'd love to mute, or blend, or somehow update these colors. Don't get me wrong, of all the palettes from the '70's they could have chosen, I am eternally grateful it's the "Orange" palette rather than something from the "Avocado", or "Goldenrod" collection. Yes, we dodged some pretty heavy caliber bullets in the color scheme. I'd thought about paint, but from all I've read, it seems there is a special place in hell for those who've painted brick. It's said they are required to pick the paint out of the mortar with toothpicks. So, honestly, we'd rather like to avoid that.

Still... this is... well, yeah. So, if we can do something to make it a little more appealing, I'd sure like to. And then we could further highlight the new Classic Neutrality of the brick with an appropriate trim color. (I've been angling for the slate grey you can see there on some of the bricks. Zorak prefers the more orangey color in some of the bricks - not the lightest ones, but the next down from that.) Anyhow, we were doing such a splendid job of ignoring this little problem until today, when we realized we really need to pick a trim color so we can stain the frame of new screened in porch we're building this weekend.

Tips? Ideas? Humorous anecdotes that'll make me feel like it's not *that* bad? Or should we just cave into the allure of 1971? What do you think?

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

In Your Eyes

What do your children see when they look at the world around them?




I found this tonight, while sorting through photos, and had to pull it out. I hope what he sees tells him that he's loved, and cherished.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Where are the shoes?

The delightful L often posts about being able to spot the "formal" events in her area, because the children wear shoes. That always makes me smile. I grew up in Arizona and New Mexico. If you're outside, you have shoes on, because there are cacti and scorpions and goat heads. If you're inside, you have shoes on, because there are probably goat heads in the carpet. Not to mention, if it's after June 1st, your feet will blister, peel, and fall right off above the ankles if you go outside barefooted. You just wear shoes. But not here. Here, kids wear shoes for formal events, or February. Sometimes for church.

We had a bit of a logistical snafu getting out the door today, and Emily, in the chaos, got loaded up without shoes. I thought for sure we had shoes in the Suburban. After all, we have snacks, paper, books, crayons, and possibly a squirrel in there. There's got to be shoes, right? No. So I carried her sheepishly into the dentist's office, feeling just a wee bit defensive about my piss-poor parenting and the effect this shoe-less foray into "The City" will have on Emily's future prospects for therapy and possibly marriage. We enter. Nobody blinks twice. And that's when I see before me a lobby filled with... unshod children. There had to have been thirteen kids in there, and not a one of them had on shoes! Instead, there was a pile of shoes beneath the reading table. Is there some kind of unspoken ceremony, wherein a child enters the building properly shod, grabs a book, sits down, makes a few sacrifices to the Adults in Charge, then leaves the shoes at the altar and runs off to enjoy childhood as it was meant to be enjoyed?) Huh. I've never seen that before. But it does bode well for Emily's marital prospects, at least.

Really, I think it's just me, and my Ye Shall Protect The Hide Of Thy Feet upbringing. The kids don't seem to have the same hangups I do, and are slowly assimilating into the native condition. Smidge acclimated almost immediately. Our first summer here, Smidge ran about the apartment complex barefooted, and I didn't mind so much. I just tried not to think about the feel of chalky concrete on the soles of my feet. (It makes me cringe just typing that out.) But that was, mmm, okay.

Then we moved out here, and I thought for *sure* he would take to wearing shoes. But no. We bought the forever home, kicked the kids out in the yard, and I have no idea to this day where the shoes he had on have gone. His feet are the color of rich Peruvian llama wool. His little fat baby feet have grown and become lean, but now they have the "weathered" look of... of Ghandi. Blech.

Then, last summer, all three of them signed on with the Barefoot Brigade. Shoeless! Sockless! Not even sandals could placate the innate desire to... to do that. I gave them shoes. I made sure they fit. I tried various styles. I finally resorted to standing there on the porch cringing and yelling,

"The vet said the ground is infested with hookworms! Do you want to go BLIND?!?! Get your shoes on!"

They're good boys. They'd try. Well, the older two tried. We'd already lost Smidge by then. And near the end of last summer I thought for sure I'd fought the good fight and that my children would understand the Importance of proper footwear.

Now summer weather is here. The children all have crocs, which I thought for sure would make wearing shoes *so* easy, and *so* just like not wearing shoes, that I could put my twitches to rest. But, um, evidently not...


Ah! Kiss those babies!
~Dy