What to Blog?

It was Saturday. We're all still functioning around 60% capacity, so it's not like we pulled out all the stops today and had a high-blog-content day. Those days happen.

Slept til nine- all of us.
Panicked when we realized it was Saturday.
Got haircuts.
Had lunch.
Drove around to look for homes.
Didn't find any we could afford without selling a couple of kidneys.
Came home.
Didn't make the trash run.
Played in the living room.
Played in the dining room.
Played upstairs in the hallway.
WEEE! That was fun!

Tomorrow is church and we hope to hear from our realtor, who was going to look at two homes today and if either one lists and is in our range, he'll take us to see them tomorrow.

Hope you are all having a perfectly splendid weekend!!
Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Third Vow

Well, I tried to Google the term to find y'all something substantial, but the previous entry on it was pretty much the most I could find. So I'll just explain it here, but for an official stance on it, you can talk with your pastor and he will most likely be familiar with it.

The third vow in a marriage ceremony, as we understood it and incorporated it, is a vow taken by those attending the wedding, where they recognized that they witnessed the couple's vows to love, honor and cherish and that they, as witnesses, vowed to uphold that union, vowed to support it and not counsel unwisely or foolishly, vowed to do all in their power to not only just "not get in the way" (phrased much more eloquently in the actual ceremony), but to actively encourage good will and be a source of strength for the marriage and the family formed by that union.

Good stuff. Hope this helps.
~Dy

Continuing Education

A thread on the WTM forums asked us what we'd like to do or accomplish? The lists were great. Then Steph carried the theme over to her blog. And I, being the sheep I am, just had to jump on this one.

But first, a little backup is in order. Zorak is a math-man. I've mentioned before that he reveres certain mathematical figures the way MFS reveres our dear Mr. Shakespeare. Not only does he love it, but he's good at it.

His natural aptitude and inborn fortitude leave me feeling somewhat incompetent, to say the least, when it comes to all things Math. And I just don't like that feeling. Granted, it's been great fun to learn along with the boys (God bless Math-U-See, which has, I admit, cleared up a few confusing tidbits here and there), but I feel I ought to be more than just a step or two ahead of them on a regular basis.

Zorak is eager to teach them higher math, and he most likely will take over the bulk of the work at some point in this realm. However, just as I want the boys to feel comfortable coming to either of us with questions about history, science, literature, and life, I want them to feel comfortable coming to either of us about, yes, math.

So, I had two choices: keep whining about not knowing math very well, or quit whining and remedy the situation. In response, I began studying from Zorak's pre-calculus text this weekend. (Nothing like taking one's own advice to set an example, right?)

So far, so good. Of course, so far it's all review and I'm not about to show James that it's stuff he could be doing. Let's think of the first few chapters as the, erm, Confidence Boosting period before we get down to brass tax, shall we?

Zorak, meanwhile, is literally salivating at the thought of enlightening me in The Wonderful World of Math! Heaven help me, what have I started??

So, allow me to modify the original question: what would you like to will you learn or accomplish this year?

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

I may have pictures for you!

I didn't get a chance to tell you all, with all the hullabaloo that's happened since we've been back, but we did have the opportunity to sneak in a quick visit with a surprise guest (and one of her beautiful children) while we were on vacation! I've emailed her for permission to post pictures, and will hold off on the whole tale until I hear back.

Stay tuned!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

What Shall We Do Now, Mother?

While I was fixing supper and the boys were doing projects in the dining room, our four year old, John, came to me and said, "Mom, Jacob has a mea culpa." This translates roughly to, "Jacob dumped something in the dining room and the mess is definitely his fault, not ours." Not bad for a first attempt at using a foreign language in daily discourse.

Today we did double duty on the house, hoping to recover from the mess that *other* family left in our foyer. For the first time in over a week, I am not twitchy over the condition of the house. The boys came first, and I'm not sorry for putting the house second in this case, but I am so Very Happy to have a tidy home once again.

The boys played and played. The weather was gorgeous (still is! This is sleeping-on-the-porch weather!) They rode bikes with the Wonderful Neighbors. They had ever so much fun. John is getting more comfortable getting on and off his bike. James may never get off training wheels, as he now rides at a slight angle, always leaning on one wheel. The image brings to mind the old Benny Hill sketches. Smidge was so happy to run and frolic like the little puppy he is at heart! Other Wonderful Neighbor came by with her little 9month old. Neighborly visiting, kids laughing, fresh coffee and nice weather. Today was downright Rockwellian.

The Suburban has been returned to us with a nifty, tight tranny. The Aamco guy solved the Mystery of the Vanishing Water for us. The water pump is on its way out. Naturally, the Aamco guy told Zorak he'd hook us up and "cut you a deal". Yeah, don't take it. $300 to replace the water pump, which may be the going rate, I don't know. What got us was his sales pitch: "That includes both the upper and lower radiator hoses. Yours need replacing." Do they, now? Funny, since one is less than a month old and the other one is less than a week old. It has a shiny, clean shield on it. It has sparkly new clamps. Yeah, we'll replace the water pump ourselves, thanks! The gall of some people is just stunning sometimes.

So, that's what Zorak did this afternoon, and now he's out zipping around town, "test driving". (He's actually getting Chinese food from Jerry's, but we can call it a test drive, right?)

This weekend we'll cruise town, trying to pick up chicks er, house listings. We've got a favorites list going, but haven't been able to reach the realtor to find out how long they've had contracts on them. That's our theme. Here is the typical conversation:
ooohhh, a house we can afford that's larger than 10 square feet!
Quick, call the realtor!
...K, thanks, anyway.
Contract?
Yup.
Crap.
Yeah.
Wish us luck and send us some happy house hunting vibes, if you don't mind! We could sure use them.

Oh, and Zorak is back from his hunting trip. He caught some sweet and sour chicken for me (it's rare to find sweet and sour chicken in-season like this, you know). I'm going to go enjoy a quiet evening with my Love.

Have a wonderful Friday, enjoy those wonderful children, and as always, Kiss those babies!
~Dy

If You Pour the Pine-Sol IN the Coffee...

Is that a sign that you need more coffee, less coffee, or just a break from cleaning?

The sad thing is, I didn't realize what I'd done until I looked and realized the coffee was the wrong color! I just thought, "Wow, the house is smelling so nice and clean!"

Today the weather is gorgeous, windows are open, doors flung wide. The coffee is brewing, dishes washing, laundry spinning, boys playing (in the laundry) and it feels so very good to be home.

I've been thinking today about marriages, particularly in today's climate, and how very fortunate I am for the friends we have in our life. When we married, we included the "third vow" in our ceremony. Marriage can be difficult enough to navigate, and it was important to us that the people in our life knew that we needed and expected their support through the ups and downs. We wanted those in our life to support our union. This is something we've kept in mind as the years have passed, and while many of the people in our life today may not have been present to take the third vow with the guests at the wedding, they're the kind of folks who would have taken it -- and meant it.

Over the years, I have learned from these friends to be a better wife; more supportive, more understanding. That's helped me to be a happier wife, and person in general, as well. What a wonderful gift! I'm still far (far, far, faaarrrrrr) from perfect, and it's an ongoing process. The process isn't always easy. Sometimes it's hard to take a deep breath and say, "Let's do what you need to do," when what Zorak needs to do isn't necessarily what I wanted to do. But I'm learning, and it's getting easier.

Sometimes we make decisions that are truly terrifying and I'm scared to pieces, but we do it together and it works out well, and I'm learning to remember that the next time a scary decision comes upon us.

Some days it's difficult to smile when Zorak walks in the door at the end of a long day (for both of us) and the first thing out of my mouth is some request (er, demand) like, "Did you get creamer?" Gee, he may have spoken with other people and done other things since that small email in the wee hours of the morning...

Yes, I am learning to remember those things. I don't always get it right, but I want to, and I strive to. And when I forget, I have beautiful friends to give me a gentle reminder that he might have had a busy day, too, out slaying dragons so that I can stay home...

with the boys...

caring for our family...

being the Mama and doing the Mama stuff...

and he brings me creamer, not because he has to...

but because he loves me.

Ask any parent who has uttered a word in traffic that they'd rather not have their children repeat -- your children are listening and watching. They will see that we aren't perfect- there's no getting around that- but will they also see that we love and strive and work together? Is that what we're showing them? It is. Moreso each day. We hope they will be able to say, when they are grown and discussing their ideas about marriage, that they've seen how well it can work when you work together, stick together, and surround yourselves with people who value your union and the strength of marriage, and that they've seen it through us.

Thank you so much, my friends, and my Zorak. What an education we're all getting!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Get Comfy- I have creamer!

Yes, I'm back to my 1200 calorie per day addiction. I'm good with it and Zorak doesn't seem to care. I suppose it's better than bon bons, right?

*****
First things first:
I've noticed some new faces here on the front porch, and wanted to give you all a proper welcome! I'm glad you've come to visit. The coffee's always hot (and a kettle is always on for tea), and you're welcome to come and visit. I look forward to getting to know y'all more. As you've probably noticed, we're terribly informal here: kick your shoes off, grab a cup, and curl up on the porch swing. Share your favorite stories and join right in!

*****
Friends:
Our Wonderful Neighbor offered a lift to the market tonight if we needed to pick up anything. After thinking it over (hmmm, cleaned out the fridge completely before leaving for vacation, made one run to the market for eggs and milk when we pulled in, yup we're out of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g...), I took her up on the offer.

We had so much fun, just she, the Smidge and I! It's been a long time since grocery shopping wasn't an orchestrated event, timed for optimal blood sugar levels and nominal sleep deprivation in the wee ones. We laughed and joked. We perused! Man, I haven't perused in the market in years! I got out of there with twelve bags of groceries for $40, and it didn't feel like it took very long at all!

The boys will be thrilled to have fresh fruit with breakfast tomorrow, too.

*****
Hobbies:
Zorak has rediscovered an old hobby this week: he's carving. Earlier in the week, he carved a ball inside a hanging cage. He saw a picture once and figured it out from there. (I'm tellin' ya, I am RCA puppy! I have no clue how he can do that!) Tonight he's making a camel. It's beautiful.

He can also weld a truly beautiful bead and decorate the most delicate, ornate wedding cakes. He swears the two skills are connected and are linked directly to manual dexterity.

Whatever it is, I don't have it- I'm pretty much stuck with the blunt force hobbies such as cooking (ok, cooking the way *I* do it, but then I'm not known for my cooking), basic use of power tools, and the occasional (poorly played) round of racquetball.

*****
School:
Tomorrow is our Friday, as we use a four-day school week. It's been a great first week back, and we're having a lot of fun. We have a little tweaking to do. I need to encourage more activity in our routine. Not that I mind having children who sit still for lessons, but to be honest, I think they are just humoring me for some of it and I'd like to draw them into the lessons a bit. There's nothing etched in stone that says we can't compromise and find a blend that truly works well for all of us. Quite the opposite, actually. We're doing this our way so we can, well, do it our way! I just love that.

*****
That's about all for now. The guys at Aamco (which I cannot spell without saying the commercial in my head) have the tranny apart, but they don't know what they're going to do with it. I am praying we have it back by Friday, as we have an appointment with a lender on Friday. We'd kinda like to make that... I hope they figure it out soon!

I'm going to tidy up a bit and prepare for tomorrow. It's supposed to be a gorgeous day and around here, we nab 'em when they come! So we're schooling in the yard and taking some nature walks! Maybe we'll spend some time sketching, too, if the weather holds.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

The Daily Stuff

The Suburban is at the mechanics' now. They checked it out and sure enough, second gear is g-o-n-e. It's in pretty bad shape, and we were only a few days out from having a "drive in reverse only" vehicle. Again. So, fourth transmission coming up! I am SO thankful this one is under warranty! That $450 on the extended warranty was money well spent. Talk about opportunity cost!

This does, however, leave us with only The Mistress for getting around. Technically, only the Big People are now even remotely mobile. Zorak is the only driver in the house, since The Mistress and I haven't gotten to know one another yet. The boys aren't big enough that either of us would dare to plunk them on the back and trust that they'd hold on. *cringe* *shudder* Just the mere thought of what could happen makes me queasy.

I need creamer, and since it's cold out, I'm guessin' tonight's not the night.

Therefore, I'm drinking the coffee black, and while it does keep the headaches at bay, it does nothing for the mindset or the muse.

We had a great supper tonight. The boys helped make the split pea soup, then watched a video on the Humbolt Squid while the soup simmered. Something triggered The Giggles when we prayed, and from there it just built up and flowed right over. We joked and were just plain silly. Zorak made up his usual word-play riddles. The boys made up some of their own. They absolutely butchered their Latin and that made them explode in another fit of hysterical giggles.

Zorak and I couldn't have kept straight faces if we'd tried. The boys were laughing so hard. I thought John would asphyxiate and James had tears streaming down his face.

By bedtime, we were all exhausted. The boys passed right out during story time. Zorak took the Smidge upstairs over an hour ago and hasn't resurfaced, so I'm guessing he's out cold, too.

That leaves me, humming "So long, farewell..." to myself here in the living room. Eh, the children are tucked in, safe and warm. The house is recovering bit by bit. My muse is ignoring me. I believe I'll turn in, too.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

The Feel of Success

Today during Latin, the boys practiced their derivatives, sang Adeste Fidelis, and recited their prayers (The Sanctus and The Doxology). James usually hangs up on the fifth line of the Sanctus, and needs the quiet prodding of me whispering, "Benedictus" to get him going again.

Not today. Today he recited the whole thing without a stumble, without a hitch. It was beautifully done. I was so proud of him for sticking it out over the months, not giving up, not letting his attiude go sour. He did so well, and I thought I would burst.

But I didn't have the chance to congratulate him immediately. No sooner did he say the last "excelsis" than he leapt from his chair and spun around and around, leaping, jumping, mouth wide open, eyes sparkly but hidden behind high, happy cheeks.

"I did it! I did it and I didn't need any help! I did it all by myself!"

Way to go, Kiddo!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Slipping in just one quick blog!

Well, the rest of the day turned out so nicely. The boys opted to recreate the story of Theseus and the Minotaur before we moved on to the re-civilization of Greece. Smidge thought it was hilarious. I narrowly escaped being made to play the Minotaur. It was good stuff.

The evening brought a chill to the air, so clam chowder and homemade wheat-free hush puppies were the order of the day for supper. That hit the spot all around.

While Zorak and I fixed supper, the boys played upstairs. At one point, Zorak went up to check on them (playing happily, engrossed in pirate ships and gears). He asked John if his pirates are the ones that don't do anything. John said, "No, these are the pirates that do anything."

From around the corner, James piped up, "You mean they just go around randomly doing things?"

Zorak just about fell over laughing.

Life is good, isn't it?

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

The Weather Makes a Great Motivator!

For me, anyway. After a week of nothing but cold, cold, cold, today is simply, gloriously beautiful!

So, it's one o'clock in the afternoon and we're done. Considering we did not wake up until after nine (that was James and he was first -- we've all been battling some crud since leaving Prescott), we've cruised through school this morning and are now heading outside to ride bikes and clean the Suburban. I tried to talk the boys into letting me ride one of their bikes, but that was a no-go. Ah, well, had to try.

What does our Spring term look like, you ask? (Or not, but I'm telling you anyway.)

John-
Math: Math-U-See Primer, starting with Lesson 12. He's shooting for mastery, although I'm not. Primer is designed for introduction and familiarity. He's loving it, though, so who am I to say, "No, you're doing too well. We must speed up!"
Reading: Writing Road to Reading, reviewed all the first phonograms, introduced the first four two-letter phonograms. Then he read the first three lessons in McGuffay's Primer. Major Gummy Bears for that one!

James-Math: Math-U-See Gamma, starting with reviewing Lesson 5. We've pretty much wandered about and created our own problems, focusing on word problem solving. He's not intimidated by them one bit, and that's what I've been hoping for!
Reading: Two chapters of Burgess' Old Granny Fox, four-letter phoneme review, spelling

Both-Latin: Review, review, review. We're somewhere near Lesson 7-ish. (They're young, we're informal, it's all good.) James does the workbook pages from Prima Latina. John does what he's up for, which is surprisingly quite a bit.
Bible: "I am fearfully and wonderfully made!"
History: We'll do history this afternoon, during snack. This week we're picking up with Chapter 22: The Greeks Get Civilized Again. I am hoping to make Eklek this week!

I've requested a catalog for education from the National Gallery, and am so thrilled about doing more experiential, hands-on Art learning!

OK, well, the natives are restless! I'm out of here. Just wanted to touch base today, as I plan to go to bed at a Decent Hour, and a Decent Hour falls long before the truly good Blogging Hour.

Kiss those babies! And don't forget, if you like what you see here, vote (link in the Best of Blog icon at the top). You can vote daily (which I didn't know until last night.)

~Dy

Back to School Days

I reminded the boys that lessons begin again tomorrow. John said, "Can we do math?" James said, "Oh, good!" Jacob slipped off silently, presumably to start hiding potential read-alouds.

The boys are excited about going back, discovering new things, and having new field trips. I am, too. The Fall was a good term for all of us. It was the first term we've schooled both boys and had a baby around. We had to find new footing, and although we've lost quite a bit of our normal reading to the screaming Babyzilla attacks, we've discovered new ways of integrating lessons into our everyday lives. I asked the boys what they, specifically, looked forward to. Some of their thoughts:

They missed doing Latin games.
They are excited about doing memory work again. (??? Well, ok...)
They've both missed doing math.
Oh, and they've really missed gummy worms and M&M's. (Which are an invaluable part of our daily lessons, of course.)

Those sales in August always sneak up on me, which is a strange sensation. As a child, I had an internal clock that told me they were coming. Or perhaps it was just that my shoes began getting tight and I knew we'd be buying "school clothes" right about then. January back-to-school always came with little fanfare, other than from parents. The children were stripped bare of their mental faculties by too much sugar and no actual structure. Going back to school wasn't quite the "fresh new experience" it had seemed in August.

Either way, the boys' "back to school" experiences are different, both by the nature of being spaced so many years after mine, as well as by the nature of homeschooling. I am glad for that. Yet some things are the same, and as I sat tonight, gathering materials and finishing the odds and ends of the Spring Term plans, I realized I am quite glad for that, too.

Our big project for this term will be art appreciation, to culminate with a fun-filled adventure to the Museum of Art in DC! I must get either a new ink cartridge or a new printer before I can pull this off properly!

Kiss those babies and share with us what your plans are for the Spring. What are you looking forward to?

~Dy

Mama's 2004 Reading List

This is what my year looked like, although I've left out the titles I began and didn't finish. I think of those as a headstart on this year's list. *grin* They're sorted into semi-categories, but Dee and I came up with them at some unholy hour of the night and so they aren't what you'd call up to Dewey standards by any means... And I know there are a couple I read, but didn't blog about, and so those are just destined to remain a mystery until I stumble upon them later. Sorry 'bout that.

Historical/Biographical
* The Dead Sea Scrolls
* Anastasia, the Lost Princess
* The Man Who Would be King: The First American in Afghanistan
* Reformation and Society in Eighteenth Century Europe
* Treason


Fiction
* Catcher in the Rye
* Middlemarch
* The Screwtape Letters
* Cat’s Cradle
* The Hobbit (also as a read-aloud w/ the boys)
* Lord of the Rings (trilogy)
* Waterloo Station
* The Dark Tower Series
-The Gunslinger
-The Drawing of the Three
-The Wastelands
-Wizard and Glass
-Wolves of the Calla
-Song of Susannah
-The Dark Tower
* Diary of a Mad Bride
* The Great Fire
* Redwall
* Cryptonomicon
* A Painted House
* several patricia cornwell books- they all start to blend together after a while
* Aubrey-Maturin Novels
-Master and Commander
-Post Captain
-H.M.S. Surprise
-The Mauritius Command
-Desolation Island
-The Fortune of War


Practical (AKA- clueless as to where to put these)
* Building Your Dream House
* Electrician’s Exam Preparation Guide
* The Owner-Builder Book
* Foundations & Concrete Work
* Builder’s Guide to Foundations and Floor Framing
* Cooperative Sports & Game Book
* Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
* I, John, Take Thee, Mary
* Who Killed Homer?
* On Writing
* Simple Food for Good Life
* Gluten-Free Cookbook
* Dependent on D.C.
* More Guns, Less Crime: Understanding Crime and Gun Control Laws

Hamlet, Darnit, She Was In Hamlet!

Zorak loves me unconditionally and wholeheartedly. I know this, and that is why I am not insecure when he gives me pitying, head-shaking looks while we discuss mathematics. Or, more accurately, while he postulates, expounds and monologues about mathematics.

I just sit there like the RCA puppy; attentive, but clueless.

The tables turn, however, when we discuss, say, Shakespeare. Tonight I was trying to explain to him who Helena Bonham Carter is, and all I could say was, "Ophelia! You know, she was Ophelia in Mel Gibson's Hamlet! You know..."

No. He didn't know. Not that he didn't know who Helena Bonham Carter is (he did remember her from Fight Club). He doesn't know who Ophelia is.

This is where we switch roles. I don the didactic robes and he dons the puppy spots. He starts sniffing about the couch, roams into the kitchen looking for food and eventually wanders off completely, leaving me to mumble to myself, "I really do like Kenneth Branagh, but I just felt the way Gibson set Rosencrantz' arrival at the castle fit what I saw when I read it..."

So there you have it, hidden beneath the weirdness of discussions in our home, two very clear academic goals we have for the boys. Zorak wants them to know mathematics on a deep and personal level. OK, I wouldn't put it that flowery. From his perspective, he wants them to own it, make it their slave, use it hard and fling it around like a used tissue, baby! (Mmm, yeah, been a while since I had to talk like a guy, so let's just consider that a wholeheartedly paraphrased sentiment there. Hopefully, however, you get the idea.)

I want them to read and explore the world around them, to grasp words and understand what it means to truly savor stories, books, histories. I want them to understand my food-related book review guide on a nearly cellular level: taste what you are reading, feel the texture. If you are steeped in language and your taste buds are primed, then when you hit on a masterpiece, you'll never forget that full sensation for the rest of your life. I want them to get obscure references - they're like extra smiles you wouldn't get otherwise. Who would voluntarily pass up on extra smiles?

We do have to accept the fact that out of three children, odds are good that one (or more) may never really revere Fourier the way Zorak does. And one (or more... *sniff, sniff*) may not feel a from-the-belly laugh at Shakespeare's comedies.

It could happen.

But at least, if we do our jobs well and expose them to things like this, show them what's been laid out before them, they'll at least be able to roll their eyes at me and groan when I make silly references. They'll see another Laplace diatribe coming on from Zorak and head for the kitchen in search of food.

And they will know who Ophelia is!!!!!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Goals Again- Setting them, Keeping them

I had planned to sit down with the boys and get a vague overview of what they might like to learn this year. Of course, when you're six and four, you want to learn all sorts of things and there doesn't need to be any cohesion to it. That's where parenting comes in, and somehow we can pull it all together, put in what they'd like to learn more about, and wrap it in the things they need to learn, as well.

Hee hee. I feel like I'm roaming about the hospital ward in a doctor's coat with a clipboard, hoping nobody realizes I'm not the doctor!

However, since a good leader won't ask of his troops what he isn't willing or capable of doing himself, well, there ya have it- I need to figure out what I'd like to do this year before asking the boys what they might like to accomplish.

I've been setting goals the past few years; broad and defined, long and short term. It's been amazing to see the difference that's come about in response to these goals. Not only is my mindset a little more focused (yeah, completely subjective terms on that one!) but in going over our goals from the past year, I've been pleasantly surprised to find that we accomplished nearly all of them! The only goal we did not accomplish was buying a house, and that simply was not within our means, but not due to anything we dropped the ball on, or failed to do.

My favorite, just-for-me goal is an ongoing goal. This is year three, I think. I realized one day that while I was quite well-read for a five year old, I was sorely lacking for a 30-something woman. Ahem. Yes. So began my quest to increase the quality of my reading, as well as the quantity in general of my reading. I had an inkling it was working when Zorak commented one quiet afternoon, "You read much more interesting stuff than you did when we were dating." I figure this goal pays off in more ways than I can list off the top of my head, but here are a few quickies that come to mind:

* It keeps the world unfolding before me, for my exploration.
* It sets an example for the boys that I wouldn't mind them following.
* It makes me more interesting, specifically to Zorak and the boys, but probably in general (or not, again, subjectivity is a beautiful thing).
* It affords us the luxury of enjoying worlds, places, people we might not otherwise enjoy.
* It keeps me focused (as I said, we're sticking with the subjective, just smile and move on, please).
* It gives me a jump start on great reading lists for the boys in future years!
* It's just FUN!
* It makes me question new things, old things, other things.
* You have no idea (or maybe you do) how much fun standing in line can be when someone else comments on the book poking out of your bag!
* Books are far more enjoyable when you catch references to and quotes from other books because you've actually read them.

There are more, I know there are. But it's time to go play with the boys. The gears have been put away, and it looks like we're going to build a train yard in the living room. Mmm, I do love this life.

Kiss those babies and have a wonderful afternoon!
~Dy

Best of Blog Awards

Well, this all kicked in while we were on vacation, but blogmechanics is running it's "Best of Blog" awards right now. I sure miss cable modem because there are some great new blogs in the different categories that I hadn't seen before! What a great place to find more ways to spend quality internet time. *grin*

Anyhow, I first learned about it when I received a congratulatory note for being nominated. So I checked it out. How sweet. Thank you to whoever nominated Classic Adventures.

When we returned from vacation, I received another note that Classic Adventures made it to the list of finalists. Wow, what a surprise. I feel pretty honored to be in such good company, and it's a little strange to think of having come that far. Again, thank you, all.

If you haven't voted (or didn't know about it, like yours truly!) and would like to, go check out the finalists. You can find them here for the Best of Education/Homeschooling category, but browse around and vote for your favorites all around. I'm not posting this in the hopes of garnering votes, but rather just because I think this is a neat opportunity to learn more about the great bloggers out there- seriously, go check it out.

And on that note, since it's finally not raining we are having a cookout with friends- burgers on the grill, toasted marshmallows, and wonderful company. The boys are so excited they can't sit still... and that's making it a bit difficult to blog. I'll be back when they're in bed. :-)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Accountability and Perspective

Have you ever noticed that some people hold children accountable to an unattainable standard? I'm not talking about expecting them to learn to tell the truth or to look both ways before crossing the street. Those are things they need to be taught and held accountable for. The question isn't whether the child gets it right every time, but where is his heart? What does he or she want to do?

What I'm talking about specifically is holding something against a child that the child did not understand was wrong, or was simply too young to even remember doing. Would you tell a child who is ten that he cannot be trusted to ride a bicycle because he knocked one over when he was four? How about refusing to let a 14 year-old child babysit because once, when she was seven, she pushed her baby brother down the stairs?

The Original Case in Point: It has been lorded over me most of my life that I am a dangerous, evil person because I "intentionally and maliciously" threw a knife at my brother-in-law. I still don't remember doing it, but boy have I apologized time and again for it. When I was in my early twenties, I learned from outlying adults, that the occasion took place when I was two. It was a butter knife and was, evidently the only thing near my high chair. He was trying to force something into my mouth and wouldn't take "no" for an answer. Hence, my two-year old brain thought, "Grab something and chunk it at him. Maybe he'll go away!" Hmmm.

So it is ok to throw butter knives at adults? (Well, or children, for that matter.) No. Did my mother explain it to me, reprimand me for throwing a fit? I'm sure she did, she was good about that stuff. Did I ever lob cutlery at him (or anyone) ever again? Nope. To most people, that was a simple learning experience set upon by many children in many scenarios over the eons. Kids figure this stuff out bit by bit. Don't throw hard things at people. Don't bite people or pets. There's so much to learn! Yet to this day, that's a black mark on my record, according to some people.

I hadn't thought about this until we were in Prescott, visiting with a friend of Zorak's. This guy is a good guy. He's one of Zorak's dearest friends. He and I don't usually see eye-to-eye, but our run-ins are mostly of the perspective kind, and I'm guessing this was just another one of those things. He does not have children, nor is he around them much at all, and he's rather set in his ways, which is perfectly normal. Meanwhile, we have three, and haven't had our own way much of the time for the past six years. Rather, we've changed "our way" to accomodate having a family. Again, perfectly normal.

We were sitting at a restaurant, waiting for our meal, making chit-chat and praying the boys didn't bop passers-by with their ballons. Everything was going well. The boys were being good. Jacob was only mildly neurotic (two new teeth coming in that day). Zorak was happy to see his dear friend, and I was thankful we didn't have to go to their house to visit. All good!

Out of nowhere, he asks me, "So, has James gotten over his mean streak?" *pause* HUH? What mean streak, I ask. "Oh, come on, he had a mean streak." Um, he was two the last time you were really around him at all... I just said that no, he was fine, and moved on to give Jacob some unwanted attention to prevent me from pushing the point further.

Later, I discussed it with Zorak and the only incident we could think of was once James threw rocks at one of their many dogs. Friend's Wife just about had a stroke (those are their babies, which I can appreciate), and I took James aside to talk with him. My discussion with the two-year old went like this:

Me: Honey, what are you doing?
J: Playing catch.
Me: Oh. Um, well, with dogs it's "fetch".
J: Playing fetch.
Me: Yeah, well, with dogs, you use balls, not rocks. And you throw it away from the dog, not to the dog.
J: Oh. OK.
Me: *glancing up at our hosts who have retreated to their kitchen window to seethe between the blinds* Got it?
J: Got it.

He never hit the dog with rocks again.

How sad to be held accountable for something that happened so relatively long ago, when he was so very little and just learning. I would hate to be labled as to who I am now based on something I did when I was ten (which is the same ratio). Can you imagine?

James is now six. He's a neat kid, a little uncomfortable under scrutiny and can be rather flighty, but he is pure joy for us. His laugh comes from the depths of his toes and spreads to his eyebrows. Sometimes his eyes actually disappear when he laughs. He's funny and sweet, cries if I squish a lady bug in the door, is hypersensitive and gets frustrated quite easily. He will share his candy with his brothers without being asked to do so. He attends to tasks with a good attitude, and when he forgets what he's doing, he's cheerful in getting back on track. He treats his baby brother like a special gift from God, and he treats his other brother like, well, another brother. He opens doors for ladies and says, "Yes, please," and "No, thank you." He makes up excellent riddles!

And someone is missing out on all that neat stuff because of an innocent child's mistake from long ago.

Sadly, that's not all that uncommon. As my friend put it, some people "think kids walk out of the womb with a complete understanding of culture". How true! We accept that they don't pop out speaking an intelligable language, knowing how to dress themselves or tie their shoes, but somehow it's pretty common for folks to expect little ones to fully grasp the intricacies of human interaction and the norms and taboos of their culture.

Wow, that's just creepy. I know full-fledged adults who don't grasp 80% of it.

So, just for the sake of a child's heart, and our own, let's be sure to check ourselves before making comments about a child we haven't seen in a while. Or stop and ask whether perspective may have played a role in how we felt toward something. The feelings you save could be your own, your friend's, or a child's.

Kiss those babies!

Will Wonders Never Cease

Wow. I checked our answering machine today and among the other miscellaneous calls about Sunday School and KinderChoir and Holiday wishes, there were two strange messages. Both from the same lady, wanting to talk to me. (Or some version of me- she couldn't pronounce my name to save her life- but bless her, she sure tried.) I had a strange feeling that she was calling about my diaper bag (remember, it was stolen the day after Thanksgiving), so I talked with Zorak about it, then called her back.

Well, I had to leave a message and wait for her to return my returned phone call, all the while wondering what in the world she would have to say...

She called just a little bit ago. She has my bag. Says she found it in the bushes in the Wal-Mart parking lot on Christmas Eve and tried to call then. It's all in there except the camera.

Wow.

How great!

Of course, I am a tad bit cynical and not entirely sure she's innocent. Zorak just picked it up and phoned to say it's spotless and hasn't weathered so much as a day in the out of doors. He also said all the stuff is in the one pocket of the bag I never use.

I don't know what it was, and will probably never know the full story. But I'm really thankful that she called. I have been the one to call and return items I've found, so I know how awkward it is to phone someone up and say, "Hey, I, um, have your things here," all the while praying the recipient of the call doesn't lunge at your throat. So I treated her the way I would want to be treated- whatever happened before doesn't matter. She called and returned our things. I'm glad to have the things back that I could not replace- the pictures, the sentiment behind that particular sling, and even the bag itself (a reminder of the four years we spent slogging our way through while Zorak was in college).

I'm sure surprised and thankful for those wonders you just don't see coming.

Oh, hey, speaking of unexpected wonders, anybody want to come help me with this laundry?

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Great Gifts

This year the boys received some truly fabulous gifts- not only thoughtfully picked out, but gifts that they will enjoy year-round for many years to come. (That's part of the reason I'm blogging again today- they're entirely engulfed in play!)

The Magnetix (from Wal-Mart) were a huge hit. Both boys have built and played and conspired almost non-stop with these things. The only thing I would change is to have purchased more than the one 70-piece box.

The pirate ship, oh, I wish there was some way to convey the response! We have a standing rule that no hard toys can be bedtime toys, but occasionally, for very special things, that rule can be bent. John slept with two pirates and tucked one into our bed, too. Granny made the comment one day to John, "Wow, you must be part squirrel." He said, "No. I'm part Indian, part pirate, and part good guy." It's good to know who you are, isn't it?

If you've wondered about the Gears, Gears, Gears toys- they're a riot! Particularly if there's a motor in the set. This box came out at nearly every stop we made, and we've still got all 120 pieces. The boys are nuts for building things they can make go.

Uncle Lyndel, who has no children, but he will- oh yes, he will, and we will be there with batteries and toys with many small pieces- brought a K'nex set for the boys. That one is a "during Jacob's nap time only" toy, but I think they'll have a blast with it once we get things stashed and find a safe spot for it to live.

And, as always, books, wonderful books! Three different I Spy books for the boys, some precious board books for Jacob, and Merlin and the Dragons for John. (He's checked it out from the library repeatedly over the last year- it's a love affair that seems to be sticking. The illustrations are fun, and the story is neat. Can't beat the combination!)

And what did I get? I got a big batch of my mother-in-law's phenomenal caramel pecan logs! They are delicious, and a lot of work, so I'm thoroughly appreciating them. She and Zorak keep insisting that you aren't supposed to eat them like a candy bar, but I say, if the shape fits... Hey, I'm willing to forego new jeans just to enjoy these decadent things the way I want! (Although Zorak hid them deep in the back of the Suburban, which is the only reason there are any left for me to be eating now...) Merry Christmas!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

2300 miles in two and a half days!

WOW, that's a lotta driving! However, we are home, and boy does it feel good!

The return trip started around four o'clock Sunday afternoon. We left from Las Cruces and drove straight through to Nashville, where we slept hard for 10 hours Monday night, then hit the road again Tuesday. We pulled into town early this morning.

The transmission started giving us trouble just outside Knoxville, so that last leg of the journey took a while as we nursed the little thing home with a cranky 2nd to 3rd transition and no passing gear. (This week's science lesson, boys and girls, How Chevy Should Never Have Made Their Electronic Transmission. Thankfully, we bought the extended warranty nine months ago when we had this transmission put in. And just so you don't believe everything you read, this Suburban isn't from the Carter administration. Our last Suburban was from the early, early Reagan era, but that one died a relatively peaceful death a couple years ago. This one is just a wee pup, a three-legged pup, evidently, but still not even ten yet. It does have heat, though, oh yes, it has wonderful, working heat!

Let's see, only two boys threw up on the return trip, so that's not a bad average.

The amount of laundry waiting for me is beyond intimidating, particularly since we didn't have the energy to take it farther than the foyer when we unloaded last night. The dining room looks like a convention for chronic runaways, with all the plastic bags filled with mismatched clothing and dirty socks.

It's now eleven thirty, Jacob and John are painfully perky and awake up in our room, James may be forced out of bed by hunger at some point, but that's not likely to be this morning. I'm going to feed the Wee Ones and get some wash going. Will be back later today to play around and bore you with our lesson ideas for the Spring '05 school term. Then off to read blog buddies and check the overflowing email. (I had no idea how frustrating it would be to be without internet access for days on end! Hah! Who needs cable when you have an ISP? Hee hee!)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy