So, what else are you not telling me?

I have just begun to realize that you (and you know who you are... those of you with more than four...) have not been completely forthcoming with some pretty darned pertinent information! *ahem* And so I'm just going to come right out and say it, WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY WARN ME?!?!?

"But Dy," you ask, all wide-eyed and innocent, "Warn you about what?"

Oh, about a few things:

...warn me that five children gathered around a grocery cart looks like a WHOLE lot more children than just one less than that did.

...warn me that it takes the flexibility of a 21-year-old contortionist to nurse an infant, wipe a potty-training toddler, and turn off the bathroom faucet with your big toe all at the same time.

...or that I'd even have to DO something like that!

Andie, when questioned about this little oversight, mentioned something vague about a code. Well, I did it. I'm in. I'm in the club. Give. me. the. manual. And I hope it has pictures, because I think I did something wrong on the toe-faucet maneuver, and we're out of Ben-Gay.

Jess, when also questioned, decided to share a lovely anecdote about the lady who told her, "Oh, yes, five is when you lose your mobility." GAH! Like I'm not already crippled enough by my navigational impairment and general inability to get anywhere on time?

Now, mind you, I am *not* complaining. And there's no way I'm parting with this precious little bundle that's landed me in this situation. No-way, no-how. :-D I'm just, well, I like to be prepared. I like to have some idea what's coming, and how much it's going to eat, you know? So spill it, ladies. What other quirky new things do we have in store with five children? I know you've got anecdotes galore, and you've been holding out! But it's time to break the silence. It's okay, you can tell me... I won't tell anyone.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Random Thoughts

- We got the game schedules for two of the boys... and in spite of how much I've enjoyed *not* running around, I am really looking forward to making it to their games.

- Six o'clock is way too early to have to be on the road for an 8:30 appointment... but it's worth it for a good pediatrician.

- I keep getting spam in my inbox, offering me "guaranteed quantities of viagra"... Considering we've had five children in nine years, is this really a concern for us?

- You might be tempted to argue with Mom's counting... But you really can't argue with a metronome.

- I *heart* the metronome!

- There is nothing cuter than a four-year-old in his first baseball uniform... except, perhaps, pictures of a four-year-old in his first baseball uniform. But I was too busy oogling him and squeezing him and watching him beam with pride. Sorry.

- Waiting to see if your fifth child is going to be the fifth one to have colick, too, is like waiting for the other shoe to drop... when you wear anvils for shoes.

- Good friends... are really good.

- Nice weather... is always appreciated.

-

- It's a good life.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

The Balcony O' Death

*breathe in* *breathe out*

This is my new plan. I'm going to stick to it, no matter how hard it (or parts of it) may be. Remind me of this over the next month, will ya?

Today, Zorak began work on the preliminary portion of the balcony demolition, erm, rehabilitation. OK, no, demolition is the correct term. We were going to just shore it up a bit, make reinforcements here and there, and try to do this with as little expense as possible. Unfortunately, the closer we looked, the wider we realized the gap is between "possible" and... well, we pretty much had to redefine "possible" just to get started. Every. Little. Thing. Needs to be yanked and re-done. So, that's what we're going to do.

First, we banished the children to the Upper Meadow and the Back Yard. Only. Ever. Under penalty of having to live in the Scary Room until this project is completed if they so much as set a foot in the lower portion of the drive, or anywhere near the balcony. Obviously, they happily obliged.

We (the Royal We - I stayed inside and hummed loudly to myself - Zorak did all the work and the scary stuff) started with removing a limb that's been threatening to increase our insurance premiums ever since we bought the place.

The limb starts out from the tree about 20' off the ground, and extends straight up and out, extending over the balcony for a good 15'-20', ending in a gangly mass of dead weight, just waiting for a tornado, a heavy rain, or possibly just more than two migratory birds at one time to land on it. Zorak climbed up on the roof and started by removing the smaller pieces. Since the balcony is coming down, we didn't have to sweat it out any longer as to whether it would survive another limb-dive.

It mostly did. The hole on the left is from the first limb-dive, oh, a little over a year or so ago. The hole on the right is from the impact of the branch you see lying there. The balcony, itself, however, although now significantly more reminiscent of a foundering-ship-at-sea, did not collapse. So, armed with fresh determination, and an unyielding belief that I'd remember to call 9-1-1 if something horrible happened, Zorak took off a huge portion of the remaining limb. This is what it looks like, now. (Standing at the far, far end of the balcony, looking up.)

And this, is where the limb landed. I should have had Zorak go stand by it, to give you some perspective. Hmmm, perhaps I can use the debris to help? The camera is a good fifteen feet up, and 12 feet back. Those are five gal. buckets, there to the left of it. Cinder blocks comprise the two grey squares between the limb and the balcony. I'd guess the limb is a good 8" diameter where it broke off.

And so, the first of the many puckering phases of this project is complete. The rest of the limb looks solid, and should clear the balcony easily. It will come down this week. And then, so will the balcony. And then, the New Balcony, the one that will not shimmy, shake, or make anybody seasick, will rise from the rubble like a... like a non-flaming, not terribly magical Phoenix. Yup. That pretty much sums it up.

Tomorrow, more pictures, and I'll highlight some of the Hideous Contracting Decisions that make this deck oh, so special. But for now, BabyJ is up and so is my blogging time.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

The View From Here...

... is a nice one.



Kiss those babies!

~Dy

About that hat!

Emily asked where we found the beautiful little hat Jason's wearing in the pictures. I'm so glad you asked, because I want to just gush and gush about this little hat! It's actually a set: hat and booties. They were a gift. Now, I know the rule is not to knit things for non-knitters, because they seldom appreciate what goes into knitting a garment. I promise you I am the exception to the rule: I am a non-knitter because I've tried. I know *exactly* what goes into it, and also that I am supremely incapable of knitting anything other than what essentially amounts to a yarn-based "anxiety read out". (Oh, here she was stressed, and here's where she got sleepy, and oh, boy, something made her mad, here - it's nearly waterproof for four inches!)

So, this beautiful gift was given to BabyJ from the incredibly talented Miss KathyJo, who can put up with goats, raise chickens, pop out exquisitely beautiful children (and photographs of said children), write up Latin answer books, make me laugh no matter how crappy my day has been, and, as you can see here... knit cool baby stuff!


The hat is so sweet, and so soft, but what really makes me act like I've got some kind of fetish is these booties. Oh. My. Word. Are they not the cutest, sweetest, most beautiful little things in the world? Only baby feet would be worthy of such beautiful little coverings, don't you think?
Oh, they just make me smile, smile, smile. My plan is to find her weakness and bribe her with it for the Next Size Up, in perpetuity. Basically until one of my kids figures out how to knit, or KathyJo gives up and tells me to take a hike.

I got a pair of socks, too, but have yet to either remove them from my feet longer than it takes to wash them and get them back on, or at least prop my feet up somewhere with good lighting so I can take a picture. They're fantastic. They're way too nice to put on my big ol' land yachts. Pearls before swine, I tell you, but I'm not giving them up.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Good, Old-Fashioned Fun

Man, we had a great time today! Ben and Claudia came over with their crew - we had a picnic in the newly fenced-in back yard. (Roast pork, roast chicken, Claudia's Super-Secret-To-Kill-For-Potato-Thing, and Zorak's-Super-Rice. Yes, the children may develop scurvy, but sometimes nothing beats a beautiful afternoon with friends and a pile of comfort food.)

The guys played ball. The littles wandered here and there. Claudia held BabyJ and I got to eat Peeps and Marshmallow Eggs with no heartburn and nobody in my lap.

Then, before it got too dark to see properly and risk losing not only eggs, but the smaller children, we hid the eggs in the meadow and had another Tractor-Themed Easter Egg Hunt. (The first tractor that lived in our meadow for a year or so is gone, now, and in it's place is a working one we borrowed from a friend. Someday, we're going to have to break down and actually buy one - working or not. It's just not Easter without a tractor.)

The kids had a blast. The guys got to visit. Claudia and I got to eat the candy that didn't make it into the eggs.

Just look at that precious little doll! Does she not just radiate cuteness from every pore on her being? Gah. She's only a couple months younger than EmBaby, and they are so. stinkin'. adorable together. Zorak and I turn into gooey morons who'll do anything for one of those wee little smiles. *gush*

I managed to take a couple of great pictures, a few kinda creepy ones (still working on action shots - my action setting seems to be impaired), and some really sweet ones. Then, as the children began to show signs of weakening, we brought them in and let them OD on sugar and chocolate while they vegged over Season 1 of Jonny Quest. YAY NETFLIX!

In all, you really can't ask for a nicer belated holiday get-together.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Riding the Vomit Comet

I know. Ew.

Monday night, Zorak took the kids for the pilgrimage to the ball fields. After Smidge and John's practices ended and James' began, he brought the three littlest home and returned to watch James and his magic cleats do their thing. (All three of the kids have magic cleats - evidently they do really amazing things, like make you dance and spin and leap up on your toes, when you're standing on the baseline in the dirt. We don't know if it's just our kids, or if there are other magic cleats out there - feel free to chime in.)

John got sick and couldn't finish supper. He went to bed.

I'd just tucked him in and settled down with BabyJ when Smidge came running down the hall, yelling, "Alert! Alert! Ernh-ernh-ernh! Alert! Emily puked!" (Not sure why he thought the sirens and such were needed, but he was pretty alarmed.) I got up, got her cleaned up, cleared the mess, rolled up the table cloth, and went back to bed.

Ten minutes later, Smidge was sick from both ends. He actually made it to the bathroom. He immdediately became Officially My Favorite Child.

Once more from EmBaby. She gets the Official Second Favorite Child slot for knowing to step back out of the way after she throws up. Good instincts on that one.

Then Zorak got home. I filled him in, told him I was clocking off vomit patrol and headed back to bed.

He got the two Littles down and snuggled in, when only ten minutes later, EmBaby called from her room, "Oh, Dad! Mess! BIG mess! Mess, Dad!" Sure 'nuff, the poor thing was just covered from head to toe. Into the bath, into the laundry, fresh linens and jammies and back to bed.

Today (Tuesday) wasn't much better. The two big boys alternated curling up in bed and skipping meals, although thankfully neither of them threw up today. The two little ones took turns being sick. We've gone through a lot of laundry soap and toilet paper today, folks. Wowsa.

BabyJ and I plan to remain in hiding until the plague passes. It should pass quickly. There's no fever, no aches, no lethargy. We can't figure out what only the kids have eaten that could cause it (Zorak suspected the Easter candy, but I had to admit that, um, I've been nibbling out of the stash pretty regularly, and I'm fine, *grin*) I guess it could be viral, in which case, it's got to be fairly mild. No problems keeping everyone hydrated, at least.

But still... ew, you know? Just. Ew.

And so, back to bed before somebody senses that I'm up and decides to be sick! G'night!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

About Saturday's Game(s)

Well, y'all remember Saturday's game/practice schedule... Boy, did that turn out differently than we'd expected! The boys all managed to get up, dressed, geared-up, and out the door on time.

(I took a few pictures, but couldn't get any that really worked in the lighting. It was bright enough, but just not clicking... and it wasn't until just now that I realized what the problem was with the lighting -- it's back there, on the other side, the *morning side*, of the house. We're never up and outside to take pictures with the sun over there!

The boys, however, didn't care at all. They were stoked! They were even willing to mug for me and play it up a bit. This is their "cool" pose:

(Yeah, I have no idea. I was never a little boy.) Anyway, these photos were taken Saturday morning, around eight. And that was the last I saw of two of them... until SIX O'CLOCK THAT NIGHT! James had not one game, but two. Zorak dropped a very worn-out Smidge and EmBaby Duo around 12:30, after James' games ended. Then he and James went on to watch John play, thinking they'd be back shortly.

Well, John had not one game, not two games, but FOUR games. Back-to-back-to-back-to-back. GAH! Turns out, it was an official tournament, tied over from the games the night before (yet nobody thought to mention this, at any point). If you win, you keep playing. All. Day. Long. I didn't send him with food! I had breakfast burritos planned for when he got back! Thankfully, he'd had a high-protein breakfast, and some blessed soul bought team burgers and drinks after game two.

The poor kid played until a quarter to six that night. That's nine hours of playing ball, folks. He's *tough*. And in the end, his team came in second. He's so proud. That medal was enough to keep him awake for the drive home, and if I'd thought to take a picture that night, it would have looked much like the ones posted above, except perhaps his smile's a little bigger. Zorak and James were slightly burnt from nine hours in the sun, and Zorak was just about dead on his feet.

I was right - I so got the better deal on that one! The littles and I stayed on the couch, watching Johnny Quest, episode 1 (over and over - toddler OCD kicks in at the strangest times), singing spider songs, playing with the dog, and calling Daddy to make sure nobody had been taken to the hospital, abducted to Guatemala, or struck by lightning (in other words, to find out why they were gone so long!)

Yeah, it is a good thing they're cute. ;-)
Kiss those babies!
~Dy

The Easter Baby

Welcome, Jason Thomas!! (Far better than Heinrich, I know. *grin*)

Just a short two hours after I posted this morning, our sweet Easter Baby joined the family. After such a long lead-in, he made a quick and easy (relatively speaking, of course) arrival. Zorak and I weren't remotely ready, thinking we still had several hours of labor ahead of us. He was making sausage and biscuits, and I was wondering if he'd put an egg on mine. But you will never, ever hear us complain!)

So here's the pertinent stuff:
* 21" long (which explains how one can bury his head and still have a foot stuffed up Mom's spleen)
* 7lbs. 4 oz. (we took bets on the weight, and we were all off, except Zorak - James swore he couldn't weigh more than three, maybe four pounds - they do look SO tiny!)
* APGARs, 9, 10 (the water was a little cool, so he got docked a point for his color at the start - you'll notice in the pool shots that he is a little blue - but he was not "purple", which is what James told Granny on the phone - I'm hoping Zorak corrected that and didn't leave her thinking we'd nearly lost the little guy.)
* And, of course, his name: Jason Thomas. Not Heinrich. (Sorry, Melora - I thought you knew we were joking!) The boys immediately took a poll, though, just in case, and were all quite relieved to hear the official verdict.He's alert, turns to the sounds of his siblings' voices, nurses like a champ, squeaks like a mouse, cries like a kitten, and does all the wonderful, endearing things newborns do. (Like sleep... he slept beautifully this afternoon, and let me crash like a flaming jumbo jet, as well.)Me-Wa and Me-Tae came down to help with the little ones and be here for the big arrival. Actually, just as Me-Wa walked in, I yelled to the boys, "He's here!" I could hear James ask John, "How did she know?" Well, *I* meant your brother! :-) They were so gracious and so sweet. Their presence really made the whole rest of the day much nicer and easier, both freeing up Zorak to take such good care of me, and letting the kids wallow in being loved. *happy sigh*

I'm sorry to have taken so long to get these posted. I couldn't leave the room without being swarmed (does four count as a "swarm"? Well, it feels like a swarm after the morning we had.) So I stayed holed up in bed, where they could swarm without knocking me over. It was really nice. And I slept. And Zorak made me sauteed shrimp with garlic, roasted turkey, baked potatoes and mixed veggies. You just can't get that anywhere but home. We didn't get a chance to make the chile rellenos, so we'll make those sometime this week, and on the upside, since I won't be, erm, otherwise engaged, I'll be able to take pictures and post the recipe.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy