Friday, March 26

Fashion Friday... again?

Zorak brought home a movie, but we live in the house that Playmobil built, and have to wait for everyone to be sound asleep or the sounds of Somebody Doing Something Interesting will lure the small ones from their caves. So, I have a few minutes, here, and if I'm not going to blog about politics, economics, religion, or diapers, it looks like we have "fashion".

I should just call mine "Shirttail Fashion" because I have NO original ideas in this area, and offer just the rambling things that came to mind when I read others' posts.

LIPS:

Bare Escentuals Buxom lipstick? Awesome. Tingly. Lovely color. I do love this, although, to be perfectly honest, I don't know why. I am not even convinced it has any plumping factor, at all. But then, I get the Blunt Trauma Via Baby Head treatment at least twice a week so, for all I know, my lips are actually even thinner than I think they are.

Anyway, one warning with this stuff: if you have long hair, be sure to wear this lipstick only if you are going to be inside the entire time, or if you're pulling your hair back that day. It's like having a wee tar pit on your face, and any stray lightweight thing that comes near it will stick. Mercilessly. Hair. Gnats. Paper napkins. You name it. Not only is that irritating, it's embarrassing six hours into the day, when you assume it's just another damned hair and it does, in fact, turn out to be a gnat.

The moral of the story: sometimes Carmex is just fine.

But, being quite lazy, and forgetful, when it comes to personal appearance, I much prefer to put on something and then... just trust that it'll be there, later, when that would be helpful. For that, I like Maybelline's Superstay lip color. They have plenty of fun colors, just be willing to run with it once it's on, because it will stay. Plus, you can put your Carmex over that without removing or smearing the color.

One word of warning (why do all my tips come with more warnings than a table saw? What am I doing wrong?) - Anyway, the directions say to put it on and let it sit for one minute, without blotting it. One minute is a very long time to stand with your lips apart on purpose, but if they touch, they'll stick. It's the weirdest sensation. So, put it on, and then pay. attention. But, once it's on, like I said, it's on, and you don't have to wonder if you have a gnat stuck to your face at the baseball games.

PERIPHERALS:

(That sounds better than "FEET".) I've got nothing for nail polish. I'm usually good if I can actually say that my nails are clean, and don't have jagged, dangerous edges. However, the feet. It's Sandal Season, according to those who ascribe to such things. (Down here, we just call it Spring, and we go barefoot as much as possible. The following applies to us, as well. Possibly even moreso.)

Buy yourself a PedEgg. Spend the ten bucks, and don't look back. It will do in five minutes what you cannot accomplish with a pumice stone and a fifth of whiskey. When you're done, your feet look and feel as if you've been maintaining a high level of grooming all your life.

And yes, of course there's a word of warning: do this in very, very private. Do it when everyone else is gone, or asleep, or running power tools. This isn't something you can do casually, on the side of the tub while everybody's getting ready in the morning. This isn't really even something you want to do in your own closet, if anyone else is IN the house. Nobody else will tell you this, but I will, because I love you and I want you to not traumatize the people you live with. It makes a horrible noise. The kind of noise that makes people's eyes water, that brings children running because they just *know* something gross is going on, that will, should your significant other ever hear it, bar you from foot rubs for months.

And that's it. I think EmBaby's asleep, and we can go watch a movie now!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

5 comments:

Staci said...

"pumice stone and a fifth of whiskey" SNORT!

Jenni said...

Carmex all the way here. Both of those lipsticks sound a little scary, to tell the truth. Although, if I could find just the right color, I might like the second one. I can never find just the right color. There's a Bonne Bell tinted lip gloss that's just about right and tastes yummy, too. Don't ask me what color it is; the words are rubbed off the tube, and I really need to buy a new one because it no longer closes properly.

Can you still use the fifth of whiskey *with* the PedEgg?

Amy said...

Dy, you really made me laugh today. Thank you. It is very early to be heading out to the soccer fields, and I needed that.

Enjoy your weekend!

melissa said...

BWahahahaha!!! O.K., first of all, please tell me if you ever see me with a gnat stuck on my lip. And YESSSS!! The "Ped egg"! How could I have forgotten!!! You are hysterical, and I'd say that fashion advice was VERY valid and applicable! (Oh- and BTW, the Buxom now comes in a matte stick as well. oooooooooo......)

Laney said...

ROFL! That was really funny! I loved it.:-D