What's Wrong With This Picture?

Lovely fall morning, bright meadow... what could possibly be wrong with this picture?



Um, we don't have chickens.

They can't hold our dog responsible if he snaps under this kind of temptation, can they?

Anyhow, we're home. Safe and sound. It's a beautiful Autumn Day here in the South, and we're enjoying it to the fullest!

Kiss those babies!
Dy

An Outing

What an amazing few days we've had, here. I took the kids to the NM Farm & Ranch Heritage Museum on Tuesday, thinking it might help Aunt B to have a day of peace and solitude. The day was so chaotic for us that I realized I'd have liked to stay for the peace and solitude, too.

The two older ones seemed to have been infected by some kind of brain-eating worm that heads straight for the I Know Better Cortex. The two small ones, I sincerely suspected, had been slipped a small dose of crack. As it turns out, however, the dust and pollen counts were horribly high, the winds were horrific, and I think they all had a terrific case of allergies. Benadryl to the rescue! (trumpet sounds the charge in the distance) Since then, everyone seems to be drug and brain-eating-worm free. Yay!

The milking demonstration was interesting, from beginning to end. Poor Bessie, however, is currently suffering from mastitis. She was very patient right up until the hands put the iodine on her teats. Then her head shot straight up, and her poor eyes bulged right to the verge of falling out of her head. I was right there with her, man. I don't care if you're human or bovine - mastitis is miserable, period. The boys were disappointed to learn they couldn't try, or purchase, the raw milk from the milking. One of them mused that mastitis milk probably isn't very good. (I kept my mouth shut today, but that's certainly some leverage, or therapy, in a few years, don't you think?)

We stopped by Sissa's place to see how her son's project is coming along (Homecoming float for his fraternity- she's the ultimate College Mom, and has allowed the kids to completely take over the back yard), let the kids play with her dogs (while she and I both giggled over the fact that she, who has always had Irish Wolf Hounds, is now running a home for wayward small dogs), and enjoyed some coffee and a chat. EmBaby got my coffee and wouldn't give it back until she'd drained most of it. The cup was bigger than her head, and she was so funny as she'd sidle away from me, saying, "mmmm! Coppee! Num! Coppee." You'd think by child number four, I wouldn't be incapacitated by the utter cuteness of such antics. But I am.

Wednesday and Thursday, we spent a lot of time with Gram. The kids watched more Cartoon Network than I should've allowed, but it was a nice treat for them. We'll be back to rabbit ears in a while, and they're in heaven right now. Gram's been feeling fairly well, and so she's been up for story telling, filling me in on the stories of her childhood and her time raising the children. She's such a gentle, funny lady. I want to age gracefully and mellow like that.

Yesterday was a raw day for a couple of us. I cried a lot. I'm very tired, and a little out of sorts. As nice as this visit has been, and as much as we've all learned, it'll be nice to be home again. Be nice to get back to our routine (and address that gnawing sensation in the back of my head that the children are going to forget everything they've ever learned about math before we can get to it again - y'all know that feeling).

Zorak's mother came down last night, and we had a good visit. She stayed here, so we'll get to see her this morning before we board the plane and head back to the South. Our Wonderful Neighbor Claudia said a few dirty words when she filled me in on the humidity we've got there right now, so I'm going to go wallow in the arid, crisp air this morning and gulp down a few deep, dry breaths to brace me against the change.

Learning From the Masters

We came out to be of help. We weren't sure what would be needed, but came prepared to offer anything; time, manual labor, office duties, maid services. So far, we've been... well, pretty useless. The Aunts (Aunt JoAnn, Aunt Sally, Aunt Linda, and even Aunt B, in the midst of all of this) have got it covered. These women are masters of the craft, and I'm... well, I'm following them around trying to learn.

They anticipate every need with mind boggling speed. Before you know you're thirsty, there's a glass of water set before you. And, oh, it's very good. Before you can get to the washing machine to help with the laundry, two loads are hung, one's drying, and another is going in. Where'd they find all this stuff to wash? Just when you're thinking perhaps you might be able to make a grocery run, one of them slides into the living room to see if anybody else needs anything because she's heading out to Sam's. Um...

Even guests receive the red carpet treatment without so much as a hiccough in the running and maintenance of the household. I can't do that under the best of circumstances, but these ladies are masters. True masters. They carry in them the wisdom and habituation of those who've never disdained the call to serve. They have internalized every nuance of every aspect of life, and now, they wear the mantles of comforter, helper, nurse, cheif cook and bottle washer (and many more, some of which I only see the results of, but have no idea what to call them) with such grace and efficiency that although you're right there, in the middle of it, you still don't see how it all comes together.

So. Yes, I'm pretty useless, in spite of my desire to help. But I'm learning, watching, (probably pestering, as well). I've got to figure this out, because these ladies are just the women you want to arrive on your doorstep when you most need help and cannot articulate exactly what you need. They'll know. They'll get on it. You'll take a deep breath and realize, hey, everything's going to be alright. I want to be these ladies. (If you have a crisis at my house right now, about all you're likely to get is hot coffee and place to collapse. I can't even promise you quiet or comfort.) Here, at Aunt B's, though, there is company and comfort abounding, and everything that can be taken care of, is. Pretty amazing stuff. Pretty amazing women.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Hi from NM!

We made it. The celebration of Uncle Fred's life was beautiful, touching, and filled with the laughter and wisdom that Uncle Fred shared with everyone in his life.

The boys are holding up well, considering we've now been on the road for nearly a week and a half with a quick do-the-wash-clean-the-fridge break in there midway through. EmBaby needs to do a little more traveling. Sheesh, all this Need For Routine is going to be the death of her! But, in all, she's handling things like a trooper, eating food from whomever will feed her, and sleeping wherever she passes out. I think in time she'll be quite the well-seasoned traveler.

The weather is fantastic. Mid-80's, which seems awful for October, but really, when the humidity is under 30%, it's absolutely gorgeous. We all sat on the driveway last night, snacking and chatting and thoroughly enjoying the company in the beautiful desert evening air. We couldn't ask for a more comforting environment, from the company to the weather.

Thank you, all, for your kind thoughts, and well wishes. I will pass them on to Aunt B. and the rest of the family. They are much appreciated.

And now, I'm off to round up the babies and head back to the coral (hotel).

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Uncle Fred

This is a hard post to write. I'd hoped to have a better grasp of the words to do it with, but here we sit, and the words won't come.

If you've been reading here for long, you know all about Aunt B and Uncle Fred. They are who we want to be when we grow up. They are a huge part of keeping Family real, and making it meaningful. Uncle Fred's part in that process has meant so much to us through the years. He was a big influence on Charles' foray into engineering. He welcomed me into the family in his quiet, steadfast way. He's been a calming influence, a source of wit and dry humor; a delightful devil's advocate in late night discussions, and a person for whom the word "integrity" means the world.

This is one of my favorite photos of him, taken at the City of Rocks this past May. He'd been out and about all day, enjoying the company, the kids, the weather. I just love this picture.

I love that smile. That's the smile of someone who found something to enjoy in life, and enjoyed it.

This Saturday, we lost Uncle Fred. He and Aunt B were with the rest of us in North Carolina for the wedding. We all enjoyed a beautiful day at the lake house on Friday, and that evening, at the hotel, Uncle Fred and Cousin David watched a ball game together and argued about distances between bases. It was a full day, and a lovely day. It was the kind of day you'd want to have if you knew it would be your last. But we didn't know that, then. We just knew it was a wonderful day. Yet by Saturday afternoon, Uncle Fred was gone.

Charles says that without the Uncle Freds of the world, everything would come to a grinding halt, that he was one of the individuals that everyone else seeks out when the path forward is no longer evident. Uncle Fred loved knowledge -- for it's practical applications, for its own sake, for the potential it held. Not many people value knowledge on a level like that. He would teach you if you wanted to learn (and were willing to do your part), and would learn from anyone who had knowledge to share. If you had a plan, and you talked with Uncle Fred about it, if he said it would probably work, well, it would probably work. If he said it wouldn't work, you could pretty well bet it wouldn't work. He might tell you why it wouldn't work, but he probably wouldn't tell you what would work. He wanted you to know the enjoyment of figuring things out for yourself, of finding the answer and knowing it was right. For him, that was the good stuff. There was no obstacle that was impassible, to his mind; only more or less challenging to overcome. His enthusiasm was at once overwhelming and contagious.

Taryn and Patrick wanted to postpone the wedding, but Aunt B quoted Uncle Fred's philosophy as part of her argument that they should proceed as planned:

Can you do anything to fix the situation? Then what are you fussing about?

That's such a familiar phrase, and so very like the way Uncle Fred approached any situation. If you can fix it, fix it and move on. If you can't fix it, don't waste your energy fretting, just move on with it. The invocation of those words last Saturday brought a smile and a nod of understanding to everyone who heard. It brought comfort, as well. Ward said the best way to honor a person you admire is to emulate the philosophy and traits you most admired in that person. And so, we did our best.

What can be said to make it seem less impossible? To make it feel less painful? Nothing, I suppose. We loved Uncle Fred. Aunt B loved Uncle Fred. His family, from his children and his grandchildren, down to his extended and adopted family, in-laws, and even ex-wives, loved Uncle Fred. That says a lot about a man, to have so many people who feel his passing. And although the events of the coming week hold much grief, and much pain for many people, not one of us would trade that sorrow for not having known Uncle Fred.

Instead, we'll gather to honor his place in this world, his place in our lives. We'll acknowledge that there is a vacancy now, supported by memories and love and admiration for the man who once stood there.

Kiss those babies.
~Dy

The Wedding Cake

When several significant events happen in one fell swoop, I have a difficult time deciding how to blog them. Together? Separately? If so, then which one first? This was a busy, chaotic weekend, and there are several things to share. I've wrangled with how best to share them, and finally decided to begin with the frivolous and move on from there. This will, hopefully, allow me the opportunity to find the words to do the more serious subjects justice. I hope you'll understand.

And so, we have to begin the story with The Wedding Gremlin. This little critter is the reason they're so darned cute when they're little...

For two days, we commandeered Taryn's kitchen. We mixed and sloshed. We kneaded and plied. We made a fondant for the cake, and made dozens of rolled fondant flowers. We made gardenias, calla lilies, and stephanotis-ish-thingies. (The technical term, I believe, is "fantasy flowers".) We rolled, pressed, trimmed, shaped, and hogged the window unit to coax them to dry. By Friday night, the fridge was packed with flower bits and random stamen parts. It almost looked like we knew what we were doing. We went to bed that night, content in the knowledge that we had created lovely, edible flowers for the cake without wire, tape, or any pesky toxic inedible bits. Ahhh. Life was good, indeed.

Four o'clock Saturday morning, I awoke to the unsettling sensation that there was *plenty* of room in the bed. Ahhhh... where's EmBaby? I slipped from the bed to look for her. She hadn't fallen off (or at least she wasn't unconscious on the floor.) She wasn't in the bathroom. Oh, no! The bedroom door's open! I bolted into the kitchen and there, on the floor, beneath the table, sat the cutest little thing with her Little Cindy Lou Who Jammies and her big bright eyes, a rolling pin in one hand and the remnants of a lily in the other. She beamed up at me, her fuzzy hair radiating about her head in a very poor imitation of a halo, and said, "Mmm, YUM!"

Oh, it was a massacre. There were dead flowers all over the place. And worst of all, the groom's cake, a crawdad, had been maimed. She ate one of his eyes, twisted his little feelers, and poked holes in his head! Poor, gimpy crawdad.

I cleaned up the mess, salvaged the flowers that hadn't made it onto the floor yet, and brought the little Wedding Gremlin back to bed. I wish I'd taken a picture. If I hadn't been fighting a massive eye twitch, I might have thought to do that. Zorak did get a picture of the little Wedding Gremlin's next escapade, though. So, here you go. If you're having a wedding, and you see one of these things, BEWARE! They will eat everything decorative and/or sugary that they can get their hands on!

Of course, the week of the wedding was warm and humid. While that made for lovely swimming weather, it wasn't so great for the icing plans. The fondant gave me fits. Due to extenuating circumstances, we'd lost about four hours of work time Saturday, which left us having to send John (the ring bearer) ahead with the family, while we stayed behind to finish the cake. Final decision -- buttercream the 12" layer, because this fondant is NOT going to happen on that layer. Oh, folks, I wanted to cry. Wait. I did cry. Not for long, though, since we didn't have time to waste.

We finished the cake. We got it to the reception hall at the Very Last Minute. It wasn't exactly what we were shooting for, but all things considered, everyone was pleased. Er, at least kind. Heh. (Have I mentioned how Very Much I love our family?) And here you have it:


The happy couple did the requisite duties and cut the cake. (He spared her lovely gown, though, which, I think, made every woman in the room breathe a sigh of relief.)

We may never be asked to make another cake for a family event. But we're still up for childwatching duties, so that's good.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Home Again, Home Again

Ahhh... If I'd known how much of a motivator it would be to see the house through "new eyes" after not seeing it at all for a while, we'd have been taking week-long trips each month for the past, oh, six months. I am SO glad we cleaned the house before we left. We even took the ladder down from the window we've been working on. *grin* When we pulled up tonight, both of us were taken aback by how pretty the front of the house looks with all the new paint, and the porch.

After talking, singing, screaming, and talking for ten hours straight, all four children were sound asleep just before we pulled into town. (I'll admit I thought about faking it, just to see if perhaps Zorak would carry me in, too. But he busted me before I could play oppossum.) They'll be so glad to find themselves home in the morning.

SO much happened. I'll upload pictures and fill you all in over the weekend. Just wanted to pop in, though, and say howdy. Boy, does it feel good to be home. (And I've got to say, it's always a relief to come home and find the house hasn't been vandalized. I never realize just how puckered up I am about that until the headlights hit the house and there's no broken glass. *whew*)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Going Underground

Nah, not a revolution. Not yet, anyway. We're just getting ready to get started on the wedding cake. So, I'll be out of touch for a couple of days. Will resurface when I can. (But it's okay - Zorak knows where I am. *grin*)

Have an absolutely fantastic week, everybody. Love on those little guys, and enjoy all the lovin's they have to give back!

Kiss those babies,
Dy

Come. Find. Me.

The case of Tom and Tanya Rider has weighed so heavily on my mind this past week. I do understand the situation of the law enforcement, but let's face it, my heart goes out to a man who knew *something was wrong* and couldn't get anybody to help him. He must have felt a lot like Cassandra before things went south in Troy. And my heart also goes out to Tanya. I cannot fathom what she has experienced, and lived through. God willing, I never will.

We can't predict the future, it's true. But we can do our utmost to bolster against the unexpected. So, I wanted to put it in writing right now. Right here. I want to go on record:

If I cannot be contacted, nor my whereabouts verified, even as little as a mere two hours after I am expected to arrive somewhere, something has happened. Come. Find. Me.

I am not running off to live in Upstate New York with some moron off the internet. I am not hightailing it to Fiji with Zorak's VA monies. I have not left my beautiful children, or my fantastic husband. Not of my own volition. Not under my own motive power. This. Will. Not. Happen.

And listen, be quick about it, because I've gotta tell ya, folks, I'm a bleeder. Not to mention, my cell phone isn't going to last longer than eight hours on a good day with no calls. I doubt it would handle a full-out auto wreck very well at all. While I'm thinking of it, I hereby authorize Verizon Wireless to release my phone records on Zorak's request. Give up the goods, guys. I swear I will not hold you liable for that.

Eight days? I get woozy going twelve hours without coffee. Can you imagine the rampaging psychosis that would ensue after a full week with no caffeine? (Let alone water, food, somewhere to relieve myself other than the seat of my pants.) No. No, there is no "right to privacy" that would justify that, for me. I have no shame. Spill the beans - my phone records, tax records, really bad driving record, bra size. Whatever it will take, but Come And Get Me.

Worse (in my mind, but I may be weird like that), what if I'm abducted? Oh, hell, folks, I haven't the fortitude to make a haul like that. Don't bother looking at Zorak. Or, if your cynicism has influenced policy to the point that you must, get it overwith within 24 hours and then Come. Find. Me. Seriously, there is *nowhere* I'd rather be than home, tending to my family, in the arms of my husband. Ever. Believe me. Don't waste time on supposition that I may not want to be found. I'm telling you right here, right now, I do not ever want to be lost.

So, I know it's not notarized. But it's published and available to the public for date verification and all manner of good things. And, on the off chance that something should happen, please remind Zorak he can find this post under "Come Find Me", print it out, and take it to the authorities.

Now, off to brace myself against accidental death and dismemberment... Hmmm...

Kiss those babies!
Dy