Behind The Scenes

Man, it's hard to make codeine interesting. Then, just as I was thinking there was nothing worth sharing at this point in the process, I got to pre-register over the phone. And BADABING, I hit the motherlode!

The absolute BEST piece of medical advice I have received thus far?

If you want any hope of being able to keep your panties on, make sure they are 100% cotton.

I gotta tell you, that's a heads-up worth getting, isn't it? If the gown and the fluorescent lighting isn't enough to come to terms with, just imagine getting hit with, "Oh, and we'll need you to remove your undergarments, please." Yeah, right before they knock you out. Fun!

Turns out, synthetics can cause a spark during the lithotripsy procedure, thus raising the potential for a fire in the lab. Really, I stopped listening at that point. Who needs more motivation to check the tags for that 100% cotton mark than the fear of having the fire department called in to douse your butt?

I also got the rest of the low-down on "Being Prepared". It looks *nothing* like the Boy Scout manual.

Shower and wash your hair the morning of your procedure, but don't use any hair product. No lotions, creams or salves. No makeup. No nail polish, jewelry, or accessories. I get most of the restrictions, but then it hit me - the real reason behind these guidelines.

Remember years back when there was a spate of doctors taking inappropriate advantage of patients who were under general anesthesia? Yep. This pretty much guarantees that you will look as unappealing as you. will. Ever. look. while you're under. Ain't nobody gonna wanna get near the damp, scaly, pale iguana dumped on that exam table!

And so, I'm off to divest myself of any remaining bling, and then to bed. Tomorrow we beat the tar out of "Joe". Yay!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Medical Update

Not nearly as cute as the kids, sorry. I had an impacted wisdom tooth extracted this morning. For some heinous reason, the oral surgeon gave me codeine rather than one of the lovely -cet drugs (percocet, darvocet, you know, the Good Ones). I slept through that part, or I'd have asked him why. Anyway, I've fasted for testing four times in the last two weeks, have lost five pounds, and I am ravenous.

But now that I can eat, I can't keep anything down, not even the Phenergan. I swear, when this is all over, I am going to park my rear at Barnhills Fry-For-All Buffet and refuse to leave until they run out of food.

Had the follow-up for my C/T Scan on Thursday. In the sage words of the N-doc, "It is what it is."

Yep, it's a kidney stone. A huge, honkin', wedged-in-there-tightly stone. We discussed options: live with it, monitor it, and wait until it causes infections or blockages to do something *insert furrowed brow and tilted head, here*, OR (my favorite) see a Urologist about breaking it up to get it out.

Luckily, the Urologist (who we will call the U-doc) had an opening for 1:30 that same day. Yay. I met with him, and told him that while Joe is not a source of constant pain, I would rather evict him now than allow the little squatter to wreck my pad. So to speak. The actual wording was more along the lines of, "Are there any drawbacks to performing a lithotripsy at this stage?"

He said it's borderline for the lithotripsy to work (should have been referred to him sooner), and may actually take two procedures, but that would most definitely be his recommendation. As in, post-haste. As in, can you come to the surgery center Monday morning? We talked shop a bit. Made arrangements. Got a list of foods to avoid, and picked up the magnesium citrate for Sunday.

The irony of trying to remineralize my bone density after weaning, while fasting for tests, and avoiding all the foods that will remineralize bone density is not lost on me. It'll be funny later. Right now, not so much.

On the drive home, I was just so very thankful to be able to address this now, when *my* reason and logic have more bearing on my own medical decisions than those of a central board. An oversight committee would have looked at my doctor's report (nothing wrong here) and the radiologist's report (nothing wrong here) and determined that there was nothing wrong here and I was, quite simply, a troublemaker; appeal denied.

It's not fiscally plausible to cater to every Tom, Dick, and Harry who thinks the professionals are wrong. Two or three of those on file, and you're looking at a recommend for a psych eval. Dang. But that's where we'll be in a very short time, once we have Centralized Health Care put in place.

So, yeah, we're going to be in debt for another couple of years. But I'll be in debt with two good kidneys, at least. And a team of doctors who will listen to what I have to say and work with me, rather than focusing on how I saw the images, or where I got the idea that having something in my kidney is a bad thing.

I'm going to go see if I can slip another Phenergan down without my body noticing. And then, get some rest.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

And now, the rest of the story.

(Sorry for the delay. Zorak beat me to the computer last night, and I couldn't outlast the Medal of Honor combat.) So, picking up the story...

This morning, I left the kids with LB. They were having a beautiful breakfast, planning feats of artistic creation that are best performed when I am not home.

I picked up the ultrasound films and headed to the appointment. Small mix-up with the scheduling. They told me ten. They wrote down down eleven. Then, I actually got there early (it's a new thing I'm trying - not panning out so well, to be honest), so that made for a lot of sitting and mocking of the various sales propaganda. (Hey, Baxter makes a large variety of dialysis machines, but they don't seem to know squat about diet, other than, "food and drink are the primary causes of waste". Aren't ya glad you asked? Oh, you didn't ask. OK, nevermind. Moving on, then.)

In a nutshell:

The N-Doc (Nephrologist, but N-Doc is shorter and catchier) asked me to fill him in, because he could not make any sense out of ex-Doc's notes. (His words. I swear I am not projecting.) So, I filled him in on the ongoing pain, my tendency to compartmentalize (aka: ignore) pain, the fear-of-cancer that spurred me to go in, our relief at finding it's not cancer, and our current frustration that ex-Doc refuses to listen to my concerns regarding Life, the Universe, and Everything. (Or, more specifically, the pain, the kidney, and the ultrasound.)

N-Doc looked at the radiologist report. He asked to see the films. He took one look and had no trouble finding The Thing That Isn't There. He said, without fear of reprisal, "Well, that looks nothing like nephrocalcinosis! That looks like a huge stone. Or two stones. Or, I don't know what, because it is in an odd place for stones. But it is definitely NOT nephrocalcinosis." (And yes, the report said "nephrocalcinosis", not "nephrosis", which is what ex-Doc had said it was.)

As a matter of fact, he was surprised to find that the radiologist's report bears no resemblance whatsoever to the images on the film, other than that it's about kidney. And both have my name at the top. (The film, not the kidney. Although that might not be a bad idea...)

He agrees that we need to know a few things:
A) What is that?
B) Why am I making things like that?
C) What can we do to make it stop?
D) Is there anything else in there that might indicate a pattern?

He said the fact that it's unilateral is odd, for stones, considering the sheer mass of the thing (or things - he wants to find out more on that end, too). The placement is odd, for anything. The size is "impressive", according to him, and when I said I really had no desire to pass something that size on my own, he snorted and said, "Oh, you couldn't. I can tell you that, right now."

All of the things I suggested to ex-Doc, which she poo-poo'd and blew off, and accused me of making things up? Yeah, he brought them up on his own:
A) 24-hour urine test to determine the makeup of whatever that is
B) Dietary modifications, if/as indicated by further test results
C) Um... oh yeah, further tests

I go in for a C/T scan tomorrow, so we can get a better picture of Joe (KathyJo named it for me). And then I have the following week to just enjoy the kids, the family, the friends, and the weather before my follow-up consultation. But there will be a follow-up consultation! Yay!

Just another reminder that we've got to pay attention. We've got to be willing to educate ourselves about anything we might come in contact with. And we've got to keep going until we get answers -- clear, upfront, above board answers.

THANK YOU, all for your continued thoughts and prayers. For your words of encouragement and kindness. I can't tell you how much that meant.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Hookay.

I thought I'd blogged more after this post, but before this post. Obviously, the brain is the, um, *counting in my head* third? thing to go.

The visit with my (soon to be ex-)Doc on the 12th did not go well. The Doc says:

All is well. Nothing wrong here. Nothing to see here. Don't know what the pain is, but it's not that. Oh, and that isn't anything. It's nephrosis. Which is nothing. Don't know why that kidney is bigger. Or what you're talking about with this "thing" that's in there, because there is nothing in there. NO, I haven't seen the films. Why would I? I'm not a radiologist. How did you see this thing you're saying is in there? Who let you see it? You're not qualified to see that, and of course you're frightened, but you're wrong. You're obviously nuts.

OK, that very last sentence is a paraphrase. But not by much. And the rest are direct quotes. According to her, I was making a mountain out of less than a molehill. Her plan? Wait for an obstruction -- that will probably not come -- and then just do emergency surgery. Obviously, I found that prospect unacceptable.

I also took issue with the assumption that someone has any place to "allow" me to see my own innerds. If I recall correctly, I gave *them* permission to take a peek. But I don't have to ask leave to look, and God help the first person to try to stand in the way. In this case, my impertinence may well have saved a kidney from a long, ugly demise.

So. In order to placate me (much the way she placated me by ordering the ultrasound in the first place, when I refused to accept her off-the-cuff diagnosis that the pain is gallbladder), she sent me to a Nephrologist for a second opinion. I actually tried to get out of going to see him because of the way she worded the referral. It was like she was giving a buddy a head's up that she needed a backup for her alibi. Not encouraging.

And this is where it gets weird.

I emailed a friend to ask who her DH (who is a dr.) would send her to in this situation. Never heard back from her.

I left a message for my midwife, asking for information on a doc she might recommend. Never heard back from her.

My pastor's wife talked with her doctor, who she used to work for, to see if he would see me. He's not taking new patients.

Every avenue we tried to take was blocked.

By last night, I was a bit manic. So, I prayed for calm, for strength and grace, for wisdom and fortitude, for kindness tempered with a good dose of pig-headdedness. And I accepted that, lacking any other options, I would, in fact, be seeing this guy in the morning. *poof* Total calm.

As if God were saying, "Well, yes, that is what I had planned, thanks."

This morning, I gathered my notes, my cross-references, kissed the babies and headed out to pick up my films...

I've got to get supper on, and I'll finish this after that's done.

So Busy!

Oh, my. Well, my camera has developed some form of ADHD (auto deficiency hyperactive digital... something-or-other) and 99% of the pictures we've taken are fuzzy and/or grainy. WAH.

LB has been a Godsend in so many ways. (I napped this afternoon - didn't mean to, but man, was it nice!) She made eggplant the other night. It was delicious, and of course, we ate all of it. We are nothing if not appreciative of those who cook for us. There's been singing - lots and lots of singing. And plenty of kissing those babies.

We had a lovely time at church today. The potluck was so relaxing and enjoyable. Everybody was warm and welcoming to LB. She got to wallow in babies and delightful older ladies, kids running about all over the place, more good food. I'd hoped to get some fun outdoor shots, but although the light was *perfect* for pictures, the wind was straight-out-of-the-Arctic. *brrrrrrr* We've got cold and rain for two more days, and then we should have some good Outside Weather. Hopefully, that will also mean we'll get more pictures.

Although we haven't really even started on "the fun stuff", I don't think anybody's been bored. But we're definitely sleeping well at the end of the day!

I'm off to see the "kidney specialist" in the morning. Please pray that I will be able to be calm, concise, and rational. Pray that he will be willing to listen, and able to help me. Pray that, should the need arise, Zorak will be able to get me out of the building without incident if the first two don't happen.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Domestic Miscellany

I love that phrase. It fits so much of my life. *grin*

I found the copy of John's birth certificate that we've used for baseball the last two years. It's not a "certified" copy, but they've taken it for two years, so, *shrug* it'll work. And Smidge's new one is scheduled to be delivered today. Of course. I have to be at the doc's at eleven, and I think that's about when the UPS lady comes. I'll try leaving her a note, but since it requires a signature, I don't think that'll work. However, I did email the nice-lady-who-doesn't-like-me (she's in charge of all things paperwork, so I can't blame her for not liking me a whole lot), and told her of the situation. She gave me a reprieve until the 21st to get Smidge's cert. to her. Yay! Sometime before Saturday, we can go sign our lives over for this Spring and Summer to the Community Recreation Association! Happy Boys!

Now, to put the house back together. *ack*

I'm hoping Amy will do another Weekend Warrior thing. This is just the perfect time of year for it, and I am, evidently, a child, who needs somebody to promise to put my project up on her fridge, because these projects really motivate me to get things done. Or, more accurately, to get things done in a timely manner. Good stuff.

This weekend, I want to hang art on the walls. Or, again, to be more accurate, I want to hang *things* on the walls. We don't have much art. Zorak and I haven't found anything yet that we both like, and as quiet as he is, he will speak up about putting Ugly Things on the walls. (It's a good thing - I'd hang some seriously atrocious things, just because they make me smile.) However, we do have a few nice pieces that we both agree on. And we have pictures of People We Love, which always makes me smile. So. That's this weekend's plan.

And now, we are off to see the Doc. Hopefully, this will go well. I do have feelers out for another doctor. There are a couple of Naturopaths there, but, as with much of Alabama law, their practice is limited in scope. For our protection, and all that. bah. I won't get started. I won't get started. I won't... which means, I should probably go, now.

Gotta round up the wee ones and find all the shoes! Have a splendid day!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

Documents and Care

I'm here. Actually, I've been in the basement, sorting papers, looking for birth certificates. But nobody was willing to drop food and coffee down the stairs, so I had to come back up. Found one. Have two official copies ordered. No clue where the second one may be.

I plan to look into the mail order bride thing and see if there isn't someone who would be willing to come just as a personal assistant and doesn't really require marriage. That might be handy.

I called my doc to see if I could get in to see her this week, rather than waiting until the 20th. My thought was that I'd like to be proactive about the stone the u/s found in my kidney. The conversation was a bit odd. She started off by telling me that everything looked absolutely perfect. No problems at all.

*blink* What about the kidney stone?

What stone? What tests did you have done?

We sorted that out. She called the lab, which hadn't faxed the results of the bone density or the u/s back yet. Then she called me back.
**************************
Nurse: There is no stone. You're perfectly healthy. You don't need to come in.

Me: Well, what's that large mass in my kidney?

Nurse: That's just a calcium deposit. It's nothing you need to worry about.

Me: What's the difference between a stone and a calcium deposit?

Nurse: Well, it's not a stone. Really, this is nothing to worry about, at all.

Me: So a calcium deposit of that size won't impair renal function?

Nurse: Not yet.

Me: *I am screaming in my head, but not on the phone.* Well, won't it have to come out, at some point?

Nurse: I don't know why you're upsetting yourself over this. It's nothing. I've spoken with the doctor about this, and it is absolutely nothing. You just have that. And a simple cyst.

Me: *thinking I do not want to look up "kidney" and "cyst" on Google...* A what? A cyst? On my kidney?

Nurse: Yes. It's nothing. You don't need to come in earlier than your appointment. *tsk* Honestly *deep exhalation* Where ARE you getting your information from?

Me: So what does The Doctor say might be causing my pain, since absolutely everything else looks completely healthy and clear?

Nurse: Oh, we don't know what that could be.

Me: You don't think it could be that, um, calcium deposit?

Nurse: No. Not at all.

Me: You know, that's fantastic news. But, uh, I think I'd like to talk to Dr. D about all this, anyway. You know, just to make sure we're all on the same page.
*************************

So, I go in Thursday, but the nurse isn't happy about it. And I'm trying to figure out the best way to get a copy of the u/s to take to someone else. Because if I have a long-lost twin living in my kidney, I'd like to know.

And the best I can figure, a 1cm "calcium deposit" sounds an awful lot like something more than nothing. I know I'm not a doctor, or even a radiologist. But I also know that anything that large that shows up that clearly from *inside* an organ that ought not have solid things lodged in it probably isn't "nothing".

I'm not worked up, but I am also not feeling overly confident in my current doctor, who is, to be perfectly honest, probably busy being torqued that my bone density test didn't come back with full-blown osteoporosis. Because that means her argument that I am - quite obviously - an osseous sponge (because I nurse my babies longer than six months - her words) just might not be exactly it.

And that's... about it, this week. Documents and Care. I need more time playing with the kids. They're a lot more interesting and a whole lot more fun.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy