I've been pretty quiet about our Cub Scouting experience thus far. I blogged about it once, but since have tried to focus on the positive. Instead, we've made a few adjustments to How We Do Things.
For instance, we have a standing agreement that when Zorak's out of town, I don't have to take the kids, mostly because it's just too much wrangling in that particular environment, but also because Zorak knows I'd end up with a police record after going berserk on the parents and leaders for the ridiculous behavior they allow. When he takes the boys to an outing, the entire drive there is spent prepping the boys to be aware of danger, look out for one another, and think-think-think before deciding somebody's suggestion is, in any way, a Good Idea. The list is a long one, but that pretty well sums up the overall gist of it.
This last campout was... horrific? Appalling? Still looking for words. Some of you have been gracious enough to listen to my tirade over the phone. From the poor communication, the coma-inducing menu, and the flipped tents, to the vandalized cabins and data test sites, bad attitudes (don't glare at me like I'm stupid when I tell you to do something your Den Leader has just asked you three or four times to do), rock fights, sugar napalm traps, and beyond, you've listened to me rail against the Stupidity. I thank you. My children thank you. And, since you've been kind enough to listen and empathize, you've been my pressure release valve, permitting me to think up *constructive* suggestions to pass on to the Leadership.
As fortune would have it, the new Pack Leader (who is also John's Den leader) emailed after the campout and asked for honest input. He's seeing too many families leave and not come back. He knows there's a problem, but he's new in this position and doesn't quite know how to pinpoint it. Or fix it. I was going to fill him in, anyway, on why it would be a Cold Day In Hell before we camped with them again, so I'm glad he asked! (Unfortunately, James' Den leader emailed that same day to say it was "the best campout yet", so I'm thinking he does not use the same dictionary we do.)
We've been busy this week. We've tried to identify where we can pitch in effectively. (All of us parents - or, at least the ones who recognize there's a problem - have been trying to pitch in from the beginning, since we "get" that these kinds of organizations are dependent upon parent volunteers, but it's tricky to get certain leaders to relinquish any role whatsoever. Even if it's one they never get around to doing. When you offer to take on that part, they tell you it's covered. This is an endemic problem, and not the biggest one.)
We've tried to encourage the new Pack Leader this week (you could. not. pay. me. to try to do what he's doing). And we've tried not to let our cynicism overtake our desire to do what we believe is right. It is SO easy to want to decide to just leave the little Fly Lords to their island and find ourselves another, less aggravating island. Maybe one with cannibals, or vampires, or perhaps necrotizing fasciitis.
Gah. The things we do for our children, huh?
Kiss those babies!
~Dy
9 comments:
Oh, I hate to hear that. I can tell you that I would appreiciate any input and help from parents. "Never turn down a volunteer" is my general motto. I also had to spend a little time reminding some parents that this is "Only about the boys" and to put any personal issues on the back burner.
We're about to start back up with our activites since we took July off for my personal sanity.
Every pack and Troop has its own personality. And as parents cycle out, that personality changes little by little. If the greatest offenders are a WII's and a few WI's, then time will take care of it. (Just make not of what troops these buggers are joining and pick a different one.) If they are younger kids, then it may be time to visit other packs.
I've been very fortunate to have great parents without exception. Any trouble is nipped by them before I can even get involved. It sure makes my job easier.
Sheila, I would love some tips I can pass on to our Pack leader about how to nip trouble in the bud. He really desires to do a great job w/ the kids, and we want to support him in any way we can.
We're researching Troops this year, with an eye as to which Troop the WII Leader plans to join, so we can avoid it. He's just too dynamic to work around, if that makes sense.
One thing I do frequently is quote one of the 12 points of the Scout Law. If a cub isn't following directions, I will say, "A Scout is Obedient." If there is teasing, "A Scout is kind."
We go over the 12 points of Scouting often and I try to include at least one point in my Cub master minute at each pack meeting. (And we say "A Scout is reverent" before every prayer.
We place a lot of emphasis on the cubs working their way into Boy Scouts so the Scout Law is discussed quite a bit.
Another thing is that I stop activites when there is misbehavior and then we all discuss why the behavior is not acceptable. This is done as a group discussion with the boys and then I ask them to roll play (like a skit) what is the better thing to do. I never call out one boy. I just stop the activity and decribe what I saw happen. I also make sure that before we start any activity that the boys all know how to participate and what behavior is allowed and not allowed. We'll stop and go over these if needed.
Little boys need specific directions.
I know all the Cub's names and their parents. That helps make them feel closer to me. I join in the activities even though it can be embarassing sometimes. (I make the parents join in and play too. Tell your Cubmaster to just tell them to. I've never had anyone brave enough to say no when I say "Come on parentt, you're playing too.) I also like to take a cub to be my helper for the evening. Even if he is just holding papers, he's holding papers in front of everyoneas the chosen one.
Oh, and we have no down time. I'll allow free play as long as they are playing well and together. As soon as there is mischief, I have some planned activity to get them back involved. The Cubmaster should always have some game, song, or story reading.
Sheila, thank you a thousand-and-one times! I'll forward this to our Pack Leader. I think it'll help.
We'd identified five things that we felt would help improve the situation, and passed that to him, along with examples of each (without naming names or pointing fingers).
Raised Level of Expectation - expect more from the boys, and let them know what is expected.
Consistency - model consistency in expectation and behavior - otherwise, they can't know when you're serious.
Discipline - don't let dangerous or destructive behavior go, don't expect other Scouts or other parents to have to address it.
Communication - we have phones, email, a website, and regular meetings - it should not be as difficult to get information, volunteer to help, or give feedback as it is w/ this group. Disseminate information, delegate tasks, and let parents in.
Organization - The WII's are not expected to be more involved, more responsible, or more engaged than the newest Tiger. The Pack seems to have no goal, no gameplan, and no focus, even though the handbook provides an excellent structure upon which to build those things.
OK. Venting, now. Sorry. But again, THANK YOU. It will help for him to hear this from a "seasoned vet", as it were. ANYthing else you can share would be greatly appreciated.
I'll post some stuff on my blog (and not spam your comments section.) that I have used with our pack. I know I learn things from every CM I meet. I just collect it all and use what works for us.
LOL, I've never heard s'mores referred to that way. Sorry you had such a bad experience.
I really liked this part of Sheila's comment:
"Oh, and we have no down time. I'll allow free play as long as they are playing well and together. As soon as there is mischief, I have some planned activity to get them back involved. The Cubmaster should always have some game, song, or story reading."
That was my first thought. Kids (especially large, undisciplined groups of boys) will find all sorts of ways to get into trouble if they get bored. They need to have meaningful and fun activities. Making a popsicle picture frame is rarely meaningful or fun.
Some of the best things to engage kids in while camping is, duh, learning and practicing camping skills. Make it a race to see which group can set up their tent the fastest (and correctly). Have the kids taking turns (in groups or buddy system) doing different camp chores like searching for firewood, building a fire, cooking, cleanup, preparing for the next activity. Only a few kids we worked with ever balked at doing these things, and those were the kids that had predetermined anything we were going to do would be stupid. (Even most of those came along eventually.) Most of the kids seemed to enjoy the responsibility. We emphasized survival skills, too, and the kids enjoyed the confidence that came with learning these things. They felt very grown up, and wouldn't you know, the responsibility for basic things transferred over to other areas as well.
Cub Scouting is parent/volunteer led. Boy Scouting is supposed to be boy led with ever decreasing supervision and oversight. Yet, Cub Scout and Boy Scout leaders often do not prepare the boys to take on responsibilities for the most basic things. If their camping skills are lacking, their communication, decision making, and leadership skills are worse.
It may be difficult to allow kids to take more and more of the responsibility or teach them to plan things, but it's worth it in the long run. It's much easier for me to just plan and do everything, but that is not the purpose of Scouting. (Hey, I know about this. I am a control freak.) If the kids are taking an active part in planning for and preparing for a trip and if they are actively engaged in carrying out everything to make things go according to their plans at the campsite, they will feel more invested in the trip, take the responsibility seriously, and have a better experience all around.
You are definitely on the right track with all of the points you presented.
Oh, Jenni, I wish it was s'mores. The WII Leader - self-proclaimed Grub Master - wouldn't put out the graham crackers and chocolate with the marshmallows. He wouldn't put up *any* of the additional food the rest of us brought - so people had to trek around the dark campsite to get to where the rest of the stuff was stashed.
I was in the tent, putting EmBaby down. Z had gone to get more water for Smidge (WII leader couldn't have a water station in the camp kitchen, you know.) He came back just in time to see one of the boys w/ flaming marshmallows (6 of them) on his stick, flinging it around the campsite.
WITH HIS FATHER RIGHT THE HELL THERE, SAYING NOTHING!
Z couldn't get there in time, and Jase got one on his hands.
I just... wow. Thankfully, nobody had a shovel, or they might have dug Burmese Tiger Traps.
About this
"Jase got one on his hands."
I would have totally lost it then...probably would have packed up on the spot. You and Zorak are much kinder than I am.
You're a better woman than me. I'd have been outta there ages ago. Some things just aren't worth the danger. I understand wanting to help turn things around, but this is pretty bad.
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