All clear! Fire the canons!

We watched Mary Poppins this week (part of a rather shame-faced endeavor on my part to get the Littles spooled up on the musicals they don't know yet - oops! Talk about gaps in one's education!)

Then Friday I had labs (still cancer-free - doc pushed for just one thin scan in January. But no, that wasn't the deal. Thanks, tho-)

And it's awkward to know whether to shout it from the roof tops or to take the British WWII approach, straighten my jacket and carry on about my business. I land awkwardly somewhere in the middle. Straight jacket (as opposed to a strait jacket, LOL), carry on, with occasional loudish bouts of, "Oh, thank heavens!"

But this time, I kind of laughed to myself a bit because I realized I probably come off more as the crazy retired Navy Admiral from Mary Poppins. Heh. Could be worse, I suppose.

Be encouraged!

~ Dy

Not Quite A Countdown

It's ...

1 day until we enjoy the 4th of July festivities with our wonderful peeps.

10 days until John takes the NREMT. (Please pray he passes on the first try - it's not whether he knows the material, but facing testing, for that one.)

17 days until I get my dancing boy back with all of his stories, laughter, commentary, and debris.

15 days until I get to do one last road trip with one of my best friends here. And Circe. Woohoo!

18 days until I see my honey again. And my boy. (Z will be here to retrieve him from Nashville. But he can do his own countdown.)

21 days until the REAL packing begins and we start eating off paper plates.

37 days until the end of Summer Semester, when I'll have an official Sophomore in college and a second semester Freshman! Wow. Where'd that time go?

About 40 days until I'm a New Mexican again! (We don't have specifics, there, so that's just sort of a vaguely shaded in section of the calendar.) I'm definitely leaving a big part of my heart here in Alabama, but I would be lying if I said I'm not looking forward to green chiles and cool nights, to dry air and dusty trails. Mostly, at this point, I'm looking forward to having Zorak back. Miss that man something fierce!

That would be one decorative, complex paper chain, wouldn't it?

Today we've mowed, packed the linen closet, done some laundry and some school.

The kids learned the word "prosaic" this week, which is a very cool word. It's also delightfully ornate considering it's meaning. That just tickled Jase.

We're nearly done with Dandelion Fire and Lurker at the Threshold. We've caught up with Father Geoff on the Book of Judges. (I'm looking at this reading list and thinking we need to throw in some lighthearted reading ... that's all a bit dark for warm summer afternoons.)

I've got to get more packing done, and shift a box of goodies to Jacob while I'm out today running errands. Don't really want to, but the post office isn't open at two in the morning, when it's cooler out.

What are you looking forward to?

Be encouraged!
~ Dy

Shifting the View

After I spent a wonderful day with a friend, she gently reminded me to be sure to make time for my people. She's right. I know she's right. I completely spaced that Wednesday was Wednesday, so I missed book club. When I saw the text asking if I was coming, the Littles had bread in the oven, I had fat bomb shrapnel all over the counter, and I'd just sent the kids out to bike to the park while I cleaned up. To me, it was just that Wednesday had gotten away from me. It's happened to all of us in book club. It's no big deal. To them, though, it was part of a countdown in the few remaining Wednesdays  we have together.

I've sensed a tension, or a dissonance, lately that I haven't been able to articulate, but I felt that at its core was that I'm not handling something well. So tonight, I sat down with some other Very Insightful Women and asked for help hashing out the disconnect. What am I not coping well with? (Other than calendars. Those are always hard.) Where am I not meeting the people I love in a way that is meaningful for them? And how can I do it without giving up the things I actually, legitimately NEED to be doing right now? Where is this stress coming from?

Of course, the first response is generally, "Why are you still trying to do school?" And that's actually a highly pertinent question. Homeschoolers are notorious for strangling themselves to the point of turning blue as they try to maintain a normal school routine through the most riotous of life's upheavals. "The school crate can just go into the moving van right before it pulls away. Bobby, you make sure to grab the microscope. I'll have hand sanitizer in the car for everyone, so go ahead and finish your dissection while I do the walkthrough and turn in the keys." Yeah, that's a thing.

In this case, however, our schooling is just the Littles right now. And they're getting some much-needed time and attention while the oldest two are no longer my monkeys in this circus, and the third is away for a while. It's also been a total sanity saver for me to have the gentle rhythm of the days. Chasing down two children for history is downright pleasant after the pace of the last few years! Plus, it's a very Charlotte Mason inspired schedule, which is relaxing and legit nourishing. We don't school for long, but we do get that time together. It's been Good. If I have to stop that right now, I might cry. But I did promise that I will ditch school after Circe and before the move. That was a good reality check.

So we talked about that, about life, about expectations and reality. We talked about the importance of accepting help and the importance of people. All good stuff, but no real epiphanies. And then, it hit me. It's the shifting of the lens, and right now it's like we're all wearing glasses that were cobbled together with two different prescription lenses.

Right now, all of the co-ops and field trips and audition planning is happening. NOW is the time to sign up for the fall. This is when the plans are laid. We'll be in NM come the fall, so my planning time is spent in the NM groups right now. Because we're going to be there in September when they do the farm field trip, not here.We need to find resources there, and sign up for events there, and dive into preparing for life there. This is just the nature of the season.

So I'm at the point where there are things I'm looking forward to about the move. (This is lens 1.) I'm looking forward to the family retreat in October, to the horseback riding lessons I've signed the kids up for, to the co-op that I found and willingly joined (I'll tell you more about that later - it's pretty exciting). I'm looking forward to the silhouette shoots with my husband, and hunting in the Gila again, and taking the kids to see the luminarias in Old Town at Christmas. I'm looking forward to signing Em up for snowboarding lessons and Jacob up for ballet. This is my job. I round up the resources and get excited about the plans. It's what I've done for 16 years. At this point, it's almost Pavlovian the way it works. This is just the first time in 13 years that those plans are waiting for us someplace else, but everything else about it feels very familiar.

And for our beautiful, amazing friends, they're not excited about these things. They are still trying to make eye contact with the idea of us leaving. They're mourning. They want to savor the time we have left, and to enjoy these last few weeks of outings and other Lasts with us. It's not that I don't also feel that loss, but that it's weighing more heavily on them right now. (And this is lens 2.) They aren't ready to get excited about whatever New Mexico has to offer us because it's all just reminders that we're leaving.

We are so very fortunate. Our friends here really do comprise that kind of Once In A Lifetime group -- vastly different women from different backgrounds and personalities and perspectives, but all incredibly supportive of one another and loving toward one another. Each one of them is the kind of person you'd consider yourself blessed to have just one of in your life, and we've all managed to find each other! And the kids! Oh, this group of kids! Without fail, every one of them is loved and cherished not only by each other, but by each of the moms in the group. That's a pretty incredible cadre to have in your life. And here we are, breaking up the band. And that's sad. It really is.

So it felt good to get a handle on where the dissonance was stemming from. I'm not looking forward to leaving them, even though there is much that I am looking forward to in the coming months. And they have many things they are looking forward to, but our leaving isn't among them. How to thread that needle is a little tricky, but I feel like I have a better grasp on how to do it now. So that was a relief.

And now, hopefully, I can merge the two lenses so that I don't feel like I'm going to be so dizzy I topple over. And hopefully, too, I can help my precious friends feel supported and loved on in the way the need to be.

Be encouraged!
~ Dy

The Loveliest Day

We had just the sweetest day today. It got off to an uncontrolled and awkward start (why is Lily's chocolate so hard to find? I feel like that should be sold in every corner market from here to Bangladesh.) My shower has developed some weird stigmata in the wall, and the hall bath wall appears to be trying to escape toward the commons areas (going to alert the housing office about that in the morning). And this kitchen, tho-- Oh, my word, it's a one-butt kitchen and we're an All Butts On Deck kind of cooking family, so there's a lot of bouncing off one another as we try to work in there.

But we didn't give up. We punted. We made do. We ran with what we had.

And in the end, we still got to spend the day watching an anime marathon and eating snacks with friends. There was a crazy hard thunderstorm that swept over us, so the light was dim and cozy and the storm beat back some of the hot'n'sticky in the air.

We put this on the calendar several weeks ago. I could have (should have? nah) done a dozen things to prepare for moving. But what we really needed was time to just curl up with friends and laugh. That accomplished so much more than any checklist could have, truly.

Be encouraged!
~ Dy

What Else Has Been Going On?

Once again, we have jettisoned a car with much cheering and applause.

John's Buick started blowing the upper radiator hose. Just out of nowhere it started doing it as if it had picked up a fun new hobby. He took to carrying a full took kit, complete with a magnetic tool retriever (not that it did any good - we lost four screws down there and never were able to retrieve a single one - they just fall down and disappear into another dimension), and a couple gallons of water. It had been having issues for a while, but this is the issue that ended the struggle.

I even got a little frustrated at one point and went down to put the damn hose clamp on, myself. (The Buick Rendezvous is a terrible design. Just a heads up. It's a neat car. Cool idea. Yet clearly designed by someone who hates himself, hates the world, and reserves special hatred for people who work on their own cars. I have never in my life seen such a poorly designed space.) Anyway, although John is really great at spooling up on how to fix known issues, and even though he knows how to put on a hose clamp, it just didn't make sense. I figured the lousy design was just making it harder than it had to be (which it was). But I thought at least I know that I know how to use a hose clamp and how to get a hose on properly. We could put this issue to rest, certainly.

He texted the next time he left the house. It had done it again.

At that point, we agreed it was time to give AAA towing a try. He figured it out, got the thing towed to a mechanic. The mechanic took a look at it, put the hose on, good to go.

Until he left the house again. (Always on his way to something with a defined start time. Always. Blessedly, he's been driving crappy, unreliable cars since he first got his license, so he's really good about leaving "mechanic time" in his schedule.)

This time, there was smoke. 😲

Back to the mechanic. Turned out there was a problem in the engine. Something leaking. Too much pressure. That's why it was blowing the hose. But at this point, it had gotten just warm enough just often enough that the heads had warped. Or whatever. At any rate, it needed a new engine.

Mechanic didn't want to fix it.

I didn't want to pay him to fix it. (Not what it was going to cost to replace the engine on top of the other unrelated things it also needed, like tie rods and so forth.)

James and John are cool with carpooling over the summer.

I'm even cooler with not paying insurance on another car.

So, we junked it, and hopefully the sound body and intact interior will provide some blessed surprise and joy to some other poor soul spending his time working on his Buick Rendezvous. We hope it makes someone's month when they find it there.

We're holding off on replacing it until we get moved. No point in paying registration twice, hauling it across country. Plus, he may not even need a car right off the bat. So although juggling two cars around five schedules isn't ideal, it's a nice set up. We can all ride in either of the cars if something goes awry with the other one, and nobody is getting stuck on the side of the road in the Southern Summer Weather. Win-win-win.

Be encouraged!
~ Dy

Tech Stuff

So, right after I poked fun at James for his tech rescue proclivities, I have to fess up to what we did ...

John needs a laptop for school. Em and Jase need some kind of dedicated devices for their writing classes and other projects, and I'd kind of like them to be portable because we are entering a season of travel and wandering off, so laptops sounded good. I kind of need a new laptop because this one's had a hard few years of use, abuse, and dropping from high places.

Enter GovDeals auctions, where you can bid on things "they were just going to throw away" (only they weren't, really - they were going to sell them - but they might sell them to someone else, which is kind of the same as throwing them away, right?)

Since a wiped laptop with no OS would about as useful for me as a book that's glued shut, I haven't really pursued it. I have looked at the auctions, and there's always fun stuff: 30 office desks (who couldn't use that?), 15 dressers (come on, how much fun would that be?), 3 arc welders (this doesn't excite me, but Z gets a twinkle in his eye when he sees these listings ... James totally comes by it honestly, and he gets it from both of us).  You can find all sorts of things on there.

"Ohhh, we could clean these up and sell them!"

"I'll bet we could find someone to split the lot with us! Yeah?"

"Listen, I can find a use for all 30 of those desks, so stop looking at me like that."

And so the conversations go. But we never bid on anything.

Until I asked James to check the auctions out and if he saw something among the laptops that would work, and something that he thought he could fix up, would he please let me know. We'd bid on them, and if we got them, cool. If not, no harm, no foul, and at least it would be an interesting experience.

Well, he found some listings. And he bid on two of them - one for us, one for him. (Actually, we had to enlist Z to do the bidding because James was in class when the auctions closed and I don't have enough room on my plate right now to set my fork down and take a drink. He was awesome about that.) So we got 10 laptops! They had to be picked up in North Carolina, but fortunately, we were going that way on our way to Arlington! What's a five hour detour when you're already driving 12 hours? (Well, it's a 17-hour drive, that's what. But I didn't think about what that actually meant in time.)

So we picked them up and brought them home. They live on my breakfast bar. James has been installing Linux on them as he has time and handing them out to those that need it. He's happy - it's like having someone support you in your rescue attempts. I'm happy - it's nice not to be paying full retail for a gazillion people to get upgraded tech. Z is happy - just because he's generally happy to see his people doing what they do.

And now, to figure out how to get my hands on some dressers and welders ... Right?

Be encouraged~

~ Dy

Arlington

Me-Tae's father passed away some time ago. It took until recently to get his interment arranged, but it finally happened this month. He was laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery, afforded full honors. It was, hands down, the most beautiful ceremony I've witnessed, and a fitting way to say goodbye and thank you.

James and John couldn't make it because they both had classes during the time we'd be gone. That's a major downside of summer term - you can't afford to miss a class early on in the term because then if you get the plague in July you have to just mask up and slog through. But four of us were there in person, and all seven of us were there in thought. I hope that they felt loved.

The three younger kids and I drove out there for the service. We splurged and stayed two nights -- not only so that we could spend time with Me-Wa and Me-Tae, but because I am OLD and there was no way I was going to be able to drive 12 hours, spend one night, go to the funeral in the morning and then drive 12 hours home. Oh, heck no.

Arlington is pretty impressive, and I just don't have the words (or the photography skills) to capture the enormity of what it represents, or how powerfully it pours over you when you set foot on the property. We were all so quiet as it soaked in what we were looking at, awed and grateful.

We appreciated, too, the chance to say goodbye to John, who was a generous and loving man. We will forever be grateful to have had him in our lives, and forever be sorry that it wasn't for a longer time. We should all strive to leave a legacy like his.

Be encouraged!
~ Dy

Missing One

Jacob is off at his summer intensive, and the house is shockingly quiet. (On a tangentially related note, do you know of any robust earbuds that can survive a 14yo boy? I'm resigned at this point to replacing them every six months, but I hate the waste.)

In some ways, not much is different. We still chat about news over coffee in the mornings (yay for technology!) and he still sends me photos of cool things he finds while he's out and about. I love that part.

But he's gone. I miss seeing him spinning in the kitchen. I miss hearing his laughter when he reads something funny. I miss hanging out in the kitchen with him while we cook. I miss hearing him talk about the book he's reading or the upcoming Falcon Heavy launch. I know that's part and parcel of raising children to be autonomous, productive adults. But I sure do miss him when he's off being active.

This is the second week. It's both flying by and inching along. Time is so weird. I'll be gone when he wraps it up, and Z will get to see the performance at the end of the session. He'll enjoy that, since he missed the school sketches in May.

I do hope, though, that Jacob's up for a marathon of something ridiculous with snacks and root beer floats and hanging out in the kitchen in July.

Be encouraged!
~ Dy

Testing

We decided to have the younger three run a lap of ITBS this year. It's not a required element of our homeschooling, and we generally don't do any standardized testing until they take the CLT and the ACT. I thought, though, that this was a good time to get a general overhead snapshot of about where we are, how we're doing, and what I may have completely spaced covering so far. Plus, I've had a sinking feeling that they may have all lost five or six years of learning during the cancer years, and I needed a sanity check.

The Littles were not thrilled. But they didn't die, so they're fine.

The results were about what I expected. They know a lot about the things we discuss in general. They aren't as strong in the things they actively avoid. We have surprisingly few non-mechanical pencils in the house. We also discovered that we are really not good at remembering to pack lunches.

Overall, the testing didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know or suspect, so that was good. (I always worry that I'm oversimplifying the process, or being a bit overly optimistic about our progress. Nobody wants to graduate a homeschooler only to discover after the fact that it was not, in fact, a great education. That hasn't happened yet, but still, we worry. Or I do.) All is well.

A funny thing from the test results was that all three of them maxed out the science scores. "But Mom, we don't hardly ever DO science!" And yet, we do. We talk about scientific topics all. the. time. Space, botany, biology, chemistry, inquiry, data, research, physics, propulsion, systems, dynamics, you name it, it's getting air time in the house. With all the things they've built, soaked, set on fire, and lobbed, I'm actually surprised the housing office doesn't send us hate mail. Do we spend a lot of time specifically studying one particular text, reading the sidebars, and going over the vocabulary? No. But we spend a lot of time steeped in various scientific disciplines, and it showed up on their scores. I thought that was rather interesting and encouraging.

And now, we don't have to do it again for a while. That was their favorite part.

Be encouraged!
~ Dy

Summer!

It's Summertime! It's warm! It's sunny! It's been three months since I've written!

We closed on the Forever Home in April and it's now got just the family it needed. I am eight months into living 11 minutes from absolutely everything and still absolutely loving it! Like, you would not believe how wonderful it is for me. Oh, gosh. Yes!

James ended up staying at the house most nights near the end of the spring semester. Not having internet at the RV made getting school work done a little challenging, and as much as he loved the study hall in the honors building, it didn't have food late at night. So he'd come schlepping in around dinner time, eat, study, eat, play video games, eat, talk a bit, then crash on the couch. The boys took to referring to him as "The Hobo", although I'm fairly certain it was a lovingly bestowed nickname. There was a lot of laughter and chattering among them in the kitchen. Bonding over memes and such, I think. I don't know. I just sat here and enjoyed the happy noises.

The end of the semester came and he moved back in for the summer. Him and his stuff. You know how some people are into rescue animals and they are forever bringing home abandoned puppies, kittens, and armadillos? Well, James is into rescuing hardware. "But they were just going to throw them away! I couldn't just leave them there!" It's tech-based dumpster diving. And now my living room is filled with computers, computer parts, and cables. So many cables. I have no idea how he's going to fit back in the RV come fall.

We got John graduated from high school and he's in college full time over the summer, now. He'll have to transfer to a school in New Mexico to finish it, but both schools are accredited and bonafide, so the transition should be fairly smooth. Or not. We're still learning to roll with unexpected changes.

It's very, very weird having college students. I don't feel that old. They vacillate between seeming plenty old and really not possibly old enough. It's just a weird stage, but so far it's fascinating and fun, if confusing and exhausting. Kind of like life, in general, right?

Be encouraged!
~Dy

Getting Stronger

I've been meaning to get back to the gym for, oh, two years, now. Oops. First, I had to get my brain back. (That took about a year.) Then I had to get the kids back on track. (Yeah, that was another year.) And now, it's time. I'm so excited!

I stopped by the gym and filled out a health history form, talked with one of the trainers, and made a plan. Then the schedule won't work for this coming week. Heh. As long as it doesn't take me an entire year to get it going, then we're good, and at least now there is a plan ready to implement. I'm hoping to lift twice a week and do something else a couple times a week. Once the weather gets nicer (for that brief, glorious window before the hot 'n sticky descends!) I can get out and move with the kids without too much muttering under my breath. Plus, the Littles are big enough now to get me actually moving. That's gonna be weird!

James and his roommate have been trying to play racquetball about once a week. They'd like to play more often, but chemistry is trying to kill them both, so it's mostly just a stolen hour over the weekend. I love that they're trying to pay attention to the holistic aspects of their health. It's hard, and it's weird, but they're doing it! Perhaps over the summer they'll be able to make more use of the gym. For now, though, I'm pretty impressed. Now, to get them to eat more ...

Cooking and Juggling

I've been trying to pin down the schedule so that I can catch James in the kitchen on a Sunday afternoon (or any other day, I'm not picky) when we're both here, motivated, and hungry (because it's fun to make things more challenging), in the hopes of guiding him through kitchen basics.

Now, before you think, "Wait, he's how old? How does he not know how to cook?" I would like to point out that he KNEW how to cook. He did, and for several years he was a very good cook. But through either a particularly rough chemical upheaval during adolescence, or perhaps an undiagnosed brain injury, or just an increased focus on other things, he has forgotten. It's simply gone; replaced, perhaps, with philosophical inquiry, or scenes from Dumb and Dumber. I don't know. As with much of parenting, it doesn't, at this point, matter much how he forgot how to cook as it does that we remedy it. So, we've been working on that. I'm still cooking seven days a week, and I have no clue what he eats most of the time, but we've managed to get together about once a week (or once every other week, because we're both busy and disorganized) to cook together.

Last Sunday, I made beef enchiladas and he worked alongside me, making a keto version of the same thing. He did a fabulous job. They were delicious and beautiful! Then he ate them all in just a couple of sittings, and there went my plan for him to have ready made food to eat at his place. Next time, we'll double the recipe!

So, since we're often scattered to the winds during the week, we need quick foods, or foods that can be eaten on the go. Since we're all busily engaged in the work of learning, doing, and living, we need foods that are nourishing and that support our endeavors. And, since there are roughly eight billion of us, we need foods we can afford (which means not eating out, even if we find a place that meets the first two requirements!)

This has become my favorite go-to for quick meals on the go:

I found the recipe here, at FlavCity. They do a lot of Starbucks replications in low-carb versions, which is fun (and dangerous - I have an unrepentant sweet tooth)! So far, everything we've tried from this site has been delicious and easy. Kudos to their team for putting together a great resource!

I will readily admit (and those who know me would think I was lying if I didn't just come out with it) that I don't always follow the recipe. This one is very forgiving of additions and slight alterations. (So, if you don't have gruyere, you can use apple smoked cheddar, asiago, Lustenberger (which tastes very earthy and bakes up nicely), or straight up shredded cheddar from Costco. Seriously, use what you have and eat it like you meant it. Life is better that way.

John hates the taste and flavor of cheese and cheese products, so I add jalapenos and cracked black pepper to his. If all he tastes is HOT, then he's a happy camper. It's our unspoken agreement. Well, either that, or he's going to move out and never eat here again. I'm not sure. But he knows he's loved, so there is that.

In the meantime, I've also been thinking up meal options for a dear older lady so that I can cook for her. She's dairy-free, and it was at this point that I realized I cannot just make extra of what we eat and share it with her. We eat a LOT of cheese! Never have I been so thankful that none of us is lactose intolerant in my life! Wowsa! I'm drawing a lot of blanks on that one, and about thisclose to buying diary-free cheese ("cheese"?) to see if our recipes are adaptable for her.

I hope you try something new this week! And I hope it helps you juggle what you've got going on!

Be encouraged!

~ Dy

The Last of the Projects

When Z came out, he picked up our trailer and took it to the Forever Home to load up a few last things. (There were a lot of things ...) It was a good thing he was here, because we discovered the water line had broken where it crossed the creek! Oy!

Fortunately, we'd turned the water off at the main since we weren't down there to turn faucets on and off when the temps dipped low. (Low for here. I know there's a curve - but when your water line is above grade, it doesn't take much!)

So he got that fixed and reinforced. He'd have done it regardless of who was buying the house, but knowing the family he was fixing it for made a difference in his overall cheerfulness level while he stood in the creek and flushed the line.

Then the kitchen drain backed up, so he stayed a couple of extra days to get that flushed and make certain it was good and clean. (We do use a lot of grease in our cooking ...)

I dismantled the fridge and got it clean. Wiped out the oven. Stood looking around. The ceiling fans are clean. The windows are sparkly. I'll go back sometime before we close and sweep/mop the floors. And that'll be it. The last of the projects. The end of an era.

We stood together in the lower drive, hands on hips, looking at the redbuds peeking purple through the grey of winter wood, the daffodils blooming as if it's not going to freeze one more time around the first week of April (which it totally is, but you can't tell the daffodils anything - they've just gotta bloom), and we were struck by the finality of leaving. It was bittersweet. Deeply bittersweet.

I'm glad we'll have the memories and the friendships to take with us. That's what makes it all bearable.

Be encouraged.

~ Dy

Let's Dance!

So, summer intensive auditions are over. Hallelujah! And *whew*.

Jacob auditioned his little heart out this season. He learned a lot. He was both encouraged and discouraged by the whole process. In the end, though, it's such good experience. There is growth in the striving. (This is something we manage to remember about 70% of the time. Sometimes we just weeny out and complain about it being haaaaarrrrrddd. But we're getting better.) He gave it his best, he learned from each audition. And how he grew. Wow!

At the end of auditions, he was accepted at the Washington Ballet and at Nashville Ballet. So, that was exciting!

And expensive. Gosh. I hadn't budgeted past February yet, so those conversations with Z were fun. (He's so patient with me. But it's funny how his boundless optimism craps out right when I dig deep enough to find mine. LOL. We're a good team, as we don't both give up at the same time.) Also, I need to be budgeting now for next year. It's like merchandising and fashion - gotta be planning for next year's line now. And here I was, all excited to be a month ahead on the car insurance. Ah, well. We'll get there.

Anyway, I'm still mentally trying to figure out how to make both DC and Nashville happen (because I want to be Dance Santa! And Santa Mom! And make all the good things happen!), but Jacob decided that it would probably be better to attend just one, and to attend for the longest session he can, rather than to do two much shorter sessions in different places. He figured that would be a way to really push himself, get the most out of the program, work more closely with the instructors, and come out the other end a significantly better dancer than he went in. For a 14 year-old boy, that's pretty insightful. It gives me hope.

So, this Summer, Jacob will be spending five weeks in Nashville, studying under some fabulous teachers, stretching his little ligaments and pushing his work ethic to its limit, and he couldn't be happier! (Well, he could, but we'd have to win the lottery, and we don't play the lottery, so this is about the upper edge of happy for this summer. It's still a pretty high happy!)

In the meantime, they're working on Cinderella, getting ready for Panoply in the Park, and looking forward to Spring break! I get tired just putting his schedule in my planner. It's a good thing he loves it.

Be encouraged!

~ Dy

That's one way to get through Lent...

I blinked. And now it's March. But SO much has been happening!

Also, not remotely related, but sort of indicative of my response to things lately, I sat down to write and my foot hit something under the table. I poked it, and it rolled around. "Oh, there's a ball under the table." Then I realized it didn't feel like any ball we have. What was that? Of course, I tried to figure it out with my foot instead of just looking. Couldn't figure it out. It rolled, but not like a normal ball. It was hard, too, not squishy. Finally, I looked. It was an avocado. I have an avocado under my table. Why? How does this even happen? Well, whatever. The upside is that I now have an avocado!

Anyway, life is beginning to resolve a bit. I can see one of the finish lines of the marathon through my unfocused eyes and flailing arms. The cheering from the support crew, though, is fabulous! There is no way I could have kept my sanity if it weren't for the grace of God in giving us such a team.

Z came out for a visit. He brought the car Aunt B had given to us, and we sold the Volvo (we all sang joyously, except Z, who mourned a bit and then took a photo of the Volvo and The Guy Who Bought It - he's glad it's going to a good home). James now has safe, reliable transportation, and he is very thankful. I am very thankful. John, who usually has to help mechanic, is very thankful. There's just general joy and celebration all around.

The C Family has a contract on their house! That means we have a contract on OUR house! The Forever Home is going to go to a beautiful family that will love it. It will have children who will wander in the woods, play in the creek, have campfires in the upper meadow. Also, the lady of the family is a much better home decorator than I am, so the Forever Home will likely be lovelier than it's ever been!

The boys are surviving school. I guess the chemistry class is brutal. And the keeping track of things. And remembering to eat. It's hard to watch the young struggle with finding their groove. I don't remember it being as hard as it looks, but thinking back on some of my mother's comments, I'm guessing it was probably worse for her. At least my kids have sense and direction. My poor mother.

So, yeah, halfway through Lent. It hasn't been a somber Lenten season for us, but it has been a mindful one.

Be encouraged!

~ Dy

Happy Valentine's Day!

Or Ash Wednesday (although it feels wrong to wish someone a "happy" Ash Wednesday). So, just know you're loved.

Em was particularly torn. She has theater! It's Valentine's day! But ... somber. Oy, what to wear? (How is she even my child? God is good. Amusing, but good.)

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. Nothing new added to the mix, but as I told a friend last week, I'm a sprinter, not a marathoner, and I've just hit the half-mile mark. I needed to take a few days to simply vacuum the carpet and stare forlornly at the stains that seem to multiply like Adipose. (Parenthetically, carpet in the dining space of a rental just shouldn't ever be a thing.) Needed to prod the children forward a bit. Needed to not check the calendar to see where to be next. Financially, it hurt, but mentally, it was necessary.

In less stressful news, our sweet church hosted its first-ever Shrove Tuesday Pancake Supper last night. It was a wonderful opportunity to just hang out with everyone. Just visit. No point, no purpose, other than fellowship. I'm glad we did it, and appreciate that we have the kind of congregation that's learning to really live together. Good stuff.

Today's gonna be a little nuts. I've got work this afternoon, so I'm having to skip out on book club (it was that, or I'd have to take my children with me to work, which seemed a bit much). John agreed to haul the children to Ash Wednesday services, and Jacob's gonna have to find his own ride home after rehearsals. Nuts, but good. Everyone is capable of doing what they need to do. Again, I appreciate that. (Whether they will may be another story, but I'm choosing to appreciate what's possible at the moment and just embrace that.)

We hoped to have a visit from Z by now, but so far, no love on travel plans. Thankfully, technology makes distance so much easier to navigate. Jacob was telling me this morning that without Dad here to just talk science and math with, he's losing his mind. "That's why I send him so many links." Aww! Turns out, he's been emailing Z links to news and articles that he finds interesting and wants to talk to someone about. (Although to be fair, he still talks to the rest of us about all manner of stuff. I had no idea he was doing this, but I love it! The rest of us just can't hang with the theoretical math and science.) He texts and calls, as well. This is really no worse than a standard TDY, thanks to technology! I love it!

And now, it's time to prod again.

Be encouraged!

~ Dy

On Reaching Out

The kids and I talked a lot yesterday about rebuilding our thing, our community. The kids miss it. I miss it. One of the things that's prevented us recently is that we lost a bit of our mojo during the cancer (which, fair enough, it'll knock anyone off their stride for a bit), and then once that was over ... well, we just didn't really get back to it. Inertia is a bear.

Then we moved.

Then Z moved.

Then Nutcracker. Then Christmas. Then Winter. Argh.

And now, here we are.

I think part of our problem is that we don't have the processes down, here, yet. In our old house, we could throw together a cookout for 40 guests with as little as two hours' notice. Easy. In this house, we can't hardly cobble together dinner for the five of us, even with a full day's head start. So that's a little tricky. I suspect we simply have to flail our way through a few gatherings in order to force start the new processes. We'll include apology gifts and flowers for those who get stuck being our first few guests, or something like that. But after that, it should come more naturally.

So the plan we came up with was this: find someone to invite to Sunday dinner and invite them.

What criteria you use doesn't matter. It can be someone you already know and like. It can be someone you'd like to get to know better. It can be someone who has done you a kindness that you'd like to reciprocate. It can be someone who just looks like they'd appreciate being looped in and connected. It can be someone you don't know at all, but you still feel compelled to invite them. It can be someone from work, school, church, a club or class, wherever. There are very few actual limitations on who it can be. Really. Your motivations are your own, and I trust you enough to be good with whatever the Spirit uses to move you. Run with it.

So, we'll see how that goes. It's going to require me to have my shizzle together quite a bit more of a Saturday afternoon, but that's probably something I should keep together as a general rule, anyway, right?

I'd LOVE to hear from you. What motivates you to reach out to someone? And then, how do you do it? Also, how do you keep your shizzle together?

Be encouraged!

~ Dy

Building Community Takes Work

But it's worth it. I think we forget that. Yet, when we look back at the things we've loved the most about our lives, it's been about our community. Sitting around a fire (be it a small fire ring or a blazing bonfire), sharing food, sharing stories, building community in a very real sense. Biking to the courthouse to meet friends at the festival, pulling chairs and benches into a circle to share conversation, pitching in in the kitchen to get a meal ready, taking someone's children for a day or to an event that the person can't make, are all simple examples of building community in ways that are rock solid and that will make a difference. 

We've missed that. I'll be honest. We've fallen prey to the god of busyness. Too busy to have people over. Too busy to accept an invitation. Never setting a date on the spot because we "have to check the calendar".

But if I stop and think about it, how much extra effort, really, does it take to ask someone to share a meal you're already going to prepare, already going to eat? How much planning does it require to drag another chair out of the garage and set at the table? How hard is it to say, "It won't be fancy, but we would love to have you over for dinner"? What myopia allows us to think that's a legitimate thing? But we do it. We all do it. 

At Bible study on Tuesday, Father Geoff admonished us to be cautious about several things, one of which is not acting in a spirit of unity. (Or, rather, the author of Hebrews cautioned us -- Father Geoff just pointed out that there's nothing new under the sun, and we're not immune.) 

The verse that struck me hardest (and most beautifully) is Hebrews 10: 24-25:

 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

I thought about our amazing book club, and what a struggle it is for many of us to make time for it. We love it, and we cherish the people in it, but either we feel it's a frivolous way to spend an afternoon, or it's too much (time, gas, juggling, whatever) to get there, or that we "ought" to be doing something more (important? responsible? what?) We love it, but we struggle to make it a priority.

Geoff mentioned that a church family ought to do more than socialize between worship and Sunday School. They ought to hang out together, help each other with their children, their illnesses, their worries, their joys. They ought to be a family. We punt around the word, "family" as if it doesn't have any tangible meaning. It does. It definitely ought to. It's up to us to give it meaning.

And this goes beyond the church walls. Z told me last night about taking an unused fryer base that his brother had lying around, rigging it up to hold a plow disc, and setting up on the back patio to make dinner. They had the fryer going, Pandora playing on someone's phone, dragged chairs out, and just hung out for the evening. It was a great end to the day, and they all really enjoyed it. What Z told his brother is that there's some nourishment that's non-tangibly-nutritive in eating together, in spending time together. It feeds more than just your body. He's right.

After study on Tuesday, a friend said, "We keep saying we want to get together, but if we don't put a date on it, I'm afraid it's not going to happen. Would Saturday work for you guys?"

She's a genius!

Last night, we went to their house and enjoyed an evening with them. They made dinner. We brought dessert. We played a game after dinner. Simple. Easy. We thoroughly enjoyed getting to know them more intimately. The kids really enjoyed spending time with them. I'd been on the go, go, go since early in the morning, so I hit the wall and had to be a party pooper long before anyone else was ready to go, but I'm so glad we went. I'm so glad she put a date on it and made it happen.

And it reminded me that the very thing we've been missing lately is the very thing that WE have failed to do lately: just ask people to come. Feed them. Talk with them. Pull up a chair. It's easy. We love it. We miss it. But we also have the power to get it back. That's something that's been put on us to do: do not neglect to meet together.

So, that's a good tip for making it a priority to build your community. Put a date on it. Just do it. Don't worry about having time to make something special. Don't worry about having time to make it an all day affair. That's not where family lives. Family lives on the back patio at the end of the day, snatching chicken off the plow disc. Family lives around the coffee table, figuring out the rules of a new game. Family, community, lives together, not alone. That's all it takes.

Be encouraged!

~ Dy

It's All In How You Look At It

The caliper for the brakes came in Tuesday. Our dear friend, Larry, arranged to meet James here yesterday to help him put it in. It's been a long week, juggling rides and tweaking schedules, but everyone pitched in and it worked. And what fortune, to have good friends!

We pulled in and noticed that his face looked distinctly like he had bad news ... We got out to greet him, and ...

What's that smell? Is that gasoline? Where's it ... Ohhh.

Oh, my.

So, the downside is that the pressurized fuel line is leaking. But it's not the tank - the tank is fine. That's good.

The downside is that while we can learn to repair it, there's more cost, plus a heck of a learning curve, especially in February, with no garage to work in. The upside is that Z's not here, so we don't have to spend the next week squatting in the road, in the cold and the wet, handing him tools. (He can fix anything, and if he can, then he feels he ought. The rest of us are pretty supportive, but we'll cry, "Uncle!" long before he will.)

And the new tire is flat. But hey, at least we don't need to use it!

The downside is that the Volvo is worth significantly less now that it's not functional. The upside is that perhaps there's someone who really needs parts to make their own Volvo safe, and now those parts will be available.

The upside is that James is not alone in a hostile environment, and he has support and help to get where he needs to be.

He doesn't have to walk ten miles each way to get to school or work.

He has a wonderful roommate who is supportive and kind, and offered to carpool whenever their schedules allow.

We didn't discover both the brake failure and the gas leak out on the road ... At the same time! (That makes me queasy just thinking about it.)

He has a bike -- one he can fix, tweak, and fiddle with. He knows how to repair it, maintain it, and generally keep himself mobile with it. He has a helmet. And a bike lock.

He is safe.

I am thankful.

And while I am a little overwhelmed at how on the very edge of disaster we seem to be living these days, I can't help but be a little relieved because the edge is not the crevice. It's not free fall. It's not the end. It's just a very cautious walk with a pretty spectacular view, and although I cannot wait to be firmly back away from the edge, I can't help but be thankful for everything that's going right. God really is in the details -- in the relationships and encouragement, in the kindnesses and the caring gestures. That's it, right there.

It really is all in how you look at it.

Be encouraged!

~ Dy

Go For It

Jacob wants to attend a summer program for dance. If you're serious about your dance, this appears to be someone non-negotiable. Okay. We can do that.

Turns out, audition season starts right-the-immediate-hell-after-New-Years. Or, more importantly, hot on the heels of Nutcracker season. So that's like surviving a typhoon only to head straight into tornado country. It's probably not that bad once you already know the rhythm, but if you're new, it's exhausting, confusing, a little stressful, and rather expensive.

Learning about this process is like trying to get a straight answer out of Lindsay Bluth. I don't know how they know these things, or where they learned about them. Other people do seem to know where they want to go; we only know that there are places to go. We've researched and read, we've checked FAQs and found ballet blogs and websites. It's all still clear as mud.

"Where does Jacob want to go?"

"Somewhere that'll take him ... You know, I'm glad you asked. Which programs are good?"

"It depends on the child."

"Uh ... It's Jacob. You've met him. Where would you recommend?"

"It depends on what he wants."

"Okay, he would love to find X,Y,Z."

"It really depends on the program."

"Okay, we'd like A, B, C."

"It'll really depend on the instructor."

Huh? I've put in nearly 100 hours researching this, and I am no closer to having a clue what I'm doing now than I was in December.

Also, I realize it's terribly gauche to talk about money, but I'll be honest, if I had a spare $4K-$9K lying around, we'd be doing something Very Different at the moment than working every spare minute, driving on bald tires. So, in my world, that's a thing. And it's a thing that really must be discussed before commitments can be made. (We found several places that will allow students to apply for scholarships after they've auditioned, been accepted, committed to attending the program, and paid a $500 non-refundable deposit. Clearly, those are not schools that would be a good fit for us. So, I guess I have learned at least something so far.)

He's only been dancing for a year, so he's not highly competitive. We get that. However, you don't get any better if you don't push yourself and try. At least, that seems to be his approach. Bless him. So, there were two auditions this weekend in Atlanta. But I worked all day Saturday, Z is in New Mexico, and the Volvo is still on lockdown because it can't be trusted not to kill people. That leaves one vehicle, which really needed to be with John, at home, in case the Littles blew something up or jumped off the roof, or ... I don't know. I mean, they're actually the least likely to ever do anything dangerous, but I'd rather they have guidance and a ride to the ER on hand and never need it than for them to need it and not have it. So. There we were. A willing and eager student and no way to get to Atlanta.

I ran through the moms-of-boys at the school, and nobody I had contact information for was going. (Which, really, ought to have been a clue that this was going to be a gnarly couple of auditions, but have I mentioned we're new here?) So I started poking the few moms-of-girls I have contact info for. A dear, sweet friend offered him a place to stay in Atlanta and a ride to auditions (or we could have even Ubered), so he only needed to get TO Atlanta. Again, nobody was going.

Then I found one. She and her daughter were leaving that day, right after lunch. Could he make it in time?

Yes, yes he could. (NOW we're in familiar territory! If I know how to make something happen, I can make it happen in record time. That's one of my gifts. Thank you, Lord!) We made a mad dash around town to get his photos printed, snag fresh t-shirts, and switch out a pair of tights. (I'd bought him a replacement pair last week, thinking I was so on the ball -- but no, Body Wrappers tights are sized VERY differently than Capezio. So differently. That was awkward.) Pointe Dancewear, in Madison, however, is the most magnificent place to get dance gear. I am very thankful for them.

Home to pack, and they were off.

He did it. I don't know how he did. I plied him with questions (like I do) and he refused to talk about it until he's eaten and slept (like he does). All he was willing to say was, "Turns out those are the two hardest programs out there." Oh. Oops. I'll probably hear more this week.

Regardless of what the schools thought of him, though, he now has two auditions under his belt. He's not completely new at this. He knows a little better what to expect. He knows what he can do. He knows what they want. He has some better ideas, now, and that's so good.

So now we know a little more than we did before. See? We're learning!

Be encouraged!

~ Dy