Scratch That.

I wrote this on the 15th. I've pulled up my big girl panties and am not feeling quite so overwhelmed. But at the time, I felt about like this little guy --->

who couldn't find a clean thumb. I'm tellin' ya, it's the little things.

...Then I sat down to go through the mail and pay the bills. Oh, look, tax papers! Gotta round those up for Granny, who does our taxes. (Because she is brilliant and really good at it. Not to mention, she has an unflinching supply of patience, which I want one day to reward by actually getting all our stuff to her before the actual deadline to file passes). And then, because I've been working overtime to make sure I have everything lined up (Year of Joy and all that - being on time and full of integrity!), I got all braggardly about how I even have a printout from the kids' dentist of all the money we gave him in 2008.

And while I was digging it out of my wallet, out fell an appointment card for the oral surgeon. With JAN 5 written on it.

I'm guessing that didn't mean January 5, 2010.

And all of it came crashing down on me at once. The unending dental appointments. The ongoing scheduling conflicts. The crud that will not die. The mystery pain that probably isn't cancer unless it's accompanied by back pain and fatigue. (Of course, it is.) The vehicle that craps out at the worst possible moment, every time. Missing Gram's service. Missing Gram. The sheer volume of food we go through. The fact that I'm *always* at the dentist and yet, I'm nowhere near done. Nor will I be done before, say, I die.

Whew! That was a big ol' vat o' whine, wasn't it?

It's nothing, in the grand scheme of things. Many people are facing much more, and probably with a great deal more grace than I can muster on the best of days. Let alone during one of those moments. But there you have it, I am an unorganized, overwhelmed mess sometimes. And a stray appointment card is, evidently, my Achilles' heel.

And so, nothing much has changed, really. But I did put my head on straight, and am less whiny. I did see the doctors today about the mystery pain. It looks like the cause is a big ol' honkin' kidney stone. A kidney stone that looks like a dental crown. Although if I took a Rohrschact test right now, I'd bet most of the things would look like some kind of dental appliances to me. *shrug* But, a kidney stone is *great* news. We can handle that, easy as pie (pie that someone else has made, even). Yay.

And Zorak still thinks I'm sexy. Or, as he put it, "As long as you don't look at the ultrasound, you're pretty hot." I will, um, just choose to take that as a romantic gesture and move on from there.

So. Right now, the kids are outside enjoying this absolutely spectacular day. I am inside, taking a quick break from cleaning my spectacular home. Zorak is in town, running errands and being, in general, a spectacular husband. The Suburban is still cranky. I still miss Gram. There is still no end in sight on the medical and dental stuff. But that's not what needed changing. We needed to get a better grip on it all, and now we have.

(But I did forget to pick up the other tax printouts this morning, Granny. Sorry. I promise I will get those soon!)

Kiss those babies!
~Dy