I have just begun to realize that you (and you know who you are... those of you with more than four...) have not been completely forthcoming with some pretty darned pertinent information! *ahem* And so I'm just going to come right out and say it, WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY WARN ME?!?!?
"But Dy," you ask, all wide-eyed and innocent, "Warn you about what?"
Oh, about a few things:
...warn me that five children gathered around a grocery cart looks like a WHOLE lot more children than just one less than that did.
...warn me that it takes the flexibility of a 21-year-old contortionist to nurse an infant, wipe a potty-training toddler, and turn off the bathroom faucet with your big toe all at the same time.
...or that I'd even have to DO something like that!
Andie, when questioned about this little oversight, mentioned something vague about a code. Well, I did it. I'm in. I'm in the club. Give. me. the. manual. And I hope it has pictures, because I think I did something wrong on the toe-faucet maneuver, and we're out of Ben-Gay.
Jess, when also questioned, decided to share a lovely anecdote about the lady who told her, "Oh, yes, five is when you lose your mobility." GAH! Like I'm not already crippled enough by my navigational impairment and general inability to get anywhere on time?
Now, mind you, I am *not* complaining. And there's no way I'm parting with this precious little bundle that's landed me in this situation. No-way, no-how. :-D I'm just, well, I like to be prepared. I like to have some idea what's coming, and how much it's going to eat, you know? So spill it, ladies. What other quirky new things do we have in store with five children? I know you've got anecdotes galore, and you've been holding out! But it's time to break the silence. It's okay, you can tell me... I won't tell anyone.
Kiss those babies!
~Dy
20 comments:
I have had a major problem with six, so I'll warn you now! It seems that human people can count four or five objects in a single glance, but any more than that, and they have to actually stop and physically count each one. When I had five kids, I could make sure they were all there in just a single sweep of my eyes, but now that I have six, I'm forever panicking, thinking I've left one of them behind somewhere...and sometimes, I actually have! So there you go. They're hard to keep track of unless tethered. :-)
Potatoes. If you should find that you need to chop potatoes one handed, be sure to use a sharp knife and move v e r y s l o w l y.
They roll.
I'm absolutely no help. Sorry.
But I'm imaging those leashes that dog-walkers in NYC use to walk a whole pack of dogs at once. Maybe something like that would help???
What a great opportunity to teach your children about "patience" and "waiting your turn." Daily activities in your home are like little exercises in triage - "Hmmm... so many things have to happen. What needs to be taken care of first?
You won't tell anyone??! HAVE MERCY! I'll be there in about 7 weeks. Don't forget I'm moving, too. Now I'm scared!! ;-)
Oh Dy, I am so glad you wrote this because I totally thought I was losing my mind. The past four weeks I have felt that I am going in a million different directions.
Like you I am trying to nurse Sophie, potty train Lorelai, take care of myself, and keep the older ones in check. Yesterday I posted on my blog that I was shopping for hearing aids for the older ones, because it seems they know I am running and circles and like ignoring me all of a sudden. This early puberty stuff is not the time to hit our home.
Isn't great having a little bundle to hold. I am looking forward to see what advice you get.
Stephanie in FL
LOL! Well, I'm no help here, but I'll be eagerly awaiting other women's comments. :-) There is something about five that does look like a lot more clustered about a shopping cart, isn't there. I rather hope we make it to that number ourselves, but we shall see!
Oh, Dy! Sometimes you really make me laugh. The way you describe things so often captures the silly things I do. I can so relate to the nursing, butt-wiping, faucet-toe description!
I know that you are handling the mother-of-five thing with grace and beauty. You can't pull the wool over our eyes, you know.
Aren't you glad we didn't tell you?
But, whatever you do---don't think ahead to baseball season in 5 years. Really.
Well, I had 5 under 10. You've got me beat with your oldest being 9 and all.....really, Dy, you amaze me every time I come her for a visit. I'm very much in awe of all you accomplish with a new baby and the stomach flu in the house. Oh, yes, these are trying days filled with stange yoga moves as you so well described. :) Enjoy every minute and keep up the good work, my friend.
I have no way to comment on this..But I'm eager to see the answers (not for any particular reason, just curious)
mere
I have so enjoyed 5, but it was nice to actually be able to put all kids at a window for those trips where they just can't seem to leave each other alone. :-)
Now that the youngest is 4 and oldest 12, it is soooo much easier. Well....except the car thing.
Michele
Dy, you mean you're NOT a 21-year old gymnast? We all thought...
Yeah, 4 is just right I'm thinking. Although if we were to be surprised with 5, I wouldn't give one back, I just think I'm getting too old for this! Loving holding another little one myself, and reveling it it, thinking she will probably be our last.
COURTNEY! Stop! She's not ready for that level of information, yet.
Five kids means there is one piece of pie left over and if you hide it, you can eat it after they're all in bed. :-)
I have 2 older sisters. When my cousin was born, his mother died, so my mom took care of him (he was a very fussy baby). Then I was born...ages 6, 3, 2, and newborn. My mom tells the story: Cousin pulled hair, Sissy screamed, I cried...all day long!
But that was only 4 poohs under one roof.. And I only made it to 3.
So I'm not able to give "experienced" advice. But I can tell you that you need to take care of yourself--if you don't, you won't have what you need to take care of your family, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Don't be afraid to carve out a few moments for YOU. And time with hubby, too. It's a high priority, and the children will learn that priority for when they have kids.
(Now, go and ask these ladies how they do it. LOL!)
Blessings.
Jean
I've heard it told that the natural order of things gets turned upside down when you have more children than you and your husband have hands to hold them with. But I rather like the natural order of things getting turned upside down and it is the strongest argument against evolution that I can imagine. Surely we would have grown more hands by now.
Jennifer
Oh, this is why I love you guys! You are all both wise and funny! I'm both encouraged (glad I'm not the only one who has to stop and count heads. repeatedly.) And a little terrified (baseball season... in five years *gulp*!) But all in a good way. You know, if there is a good way to be terrified. LOL!
Thanks for chiming in, everybody. Y'all rock!
Dy
Ya damned well better tell, LOL. Some of us are still considering the jump to five. :D
If I told you it would kill you. Take it one day at a time Dy, one day at a time. ;-)
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