IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME.This is Zorak's Spicoli-like response to most of the less-than-solid decisions he made in the mid-to-late 80's, and I have to admit I'm terrified it's a genetic pre-disposition the boys may have inherited.
The boys finished all their work today with very little oversight on my part. John had a mild panic-attack when he didn't recognize his review from last week, but once he recognized it, he sucked it up and was good to go. James, slow and steady, is getting the hang of "housekeeping" in math. WOOHOO! Aside from a quick re-introduction, and the occasional reminder to stay on task, though, they worked independently today. And that worked out well, as Smidge for some reason decided today would be a Very Good Day to dump every bin from the toy shelf (six large bins and eight little ones, to be precise - plus two dorm boxes from beneath the beds, and the play clothes chest) into one large pile in the bedroom. MegaBlocks Fire & Ice Dragon set, and all. Oh. My. Word.
Me: Uh.. what happened here?
Smidge: *smiling charmingly* I did it!
Me: Yes, *breathe* *breathe* I figured this was your work. *breathe*...*breathe* *breathe* This... this... *breathe* this was your idea?
Smidge: *smile kinda starting to droop a bit* It's not a good idea?
Me: *exhale* *breathe* No, this was not a good idea.
Smidge: Huh. *looking around a bit* It seemed like a good idea--
And this is proof that I'm getting better at this parenting gig - I did not yell. I wanted to. Oh, yes, I wanted to kick toys and throw bins and use up all the bad words I hear on the playground. But by the grace of God, I didn't. And I'm so glad. Partly because Nocturnal Parenting Regret really stinks, to be honest. You already feel bad, so you slink into their room only to find that the demons who'd inhabited your children that afternoon have left and those wee beds now cradle angelic beings. Sometimes they even seem to have a faint glow. (Though that could just be the nightlight beside the bed, so don't quote me. But still, the overall effect is pretty powerful.) And the guilt, the often well-deserved guilt, over what a total jackass you were earlier that day, just gnaws its way right through your liver. Yeah, that stinks. And tonight, I don't have any. Yay!
But I did breathe deeply enough to come close to passing out. And when I muttered quietly, in a Tired and Resigned Voice, "Oh, Honey, you even pulled all the labels off the bins," Smidge helpfully picked up one bin that still had a label, and said, "Not all, Mommy." And he smiled a hopeful smile. And even then, ankle deep in sharp plastic rectangles and small model cars, I was glad I hadn't yelled. You don't ever regret the times you didn't lose it, you know that?
So we started with that bin. And we managed to put the whole room back together. And we ended up having, if not a good time, at least a not-bad time. Smidge got to help sort. Always a plus for the OCD-stage. I got to declutter without detection. Always a plus for, well, for me. At any stage.
The boys popped in when they'd finished with one task, took a quick look at the work going on, and disappeared with lightning speed to start on the next task. I think they were terrified I'd beg for help. Come to think of it, I may owe Smidge a Thank You tomorrow, if that was the cause of their self-directed learning for the day! (Well, probably not. He doesn't ever need to know. Not until he has children of his own, and he's tempted to yell. Yeah, I'll tuck this one away for later.)
And partly because Zorak, in spite of his years of adventures that seemed like a good idea at the time, turned out okay. More than okay. His good ideas now, really are good ideas. Maybe that'll be a genetic pre-disposition, as well? Wouldn't that be nice!
Kiss those babies!
~Dy
7 comments:
Awwwwwww you're such a good mom.
And Smidge is just too cute, even when making a mess.
Blake has 2 sets of shelves in his room with 3 shelves on each one. Each shelf holds 4 bins with toys, you know the annoying sharp toys that you know you are going to step on in the middle of the night. For some reason when he has a friend over they want to dump those bins in the middle of floor. I have never understood that.
Well, you're a better mama than I. But they DO have an angelic glow. I walk around every night before bed, praying over them and kissing the ones still awake. I love that time.
Great post. My thought for the day: "You don't ever regret the times you didn't lose it." SO true.
Awwww! See now, when Your kids are naughty, it's Cute. Mine, on the other hand, are regularly completely maddening! I try to remember that such times are opportunities to improve my character through practicing self-control, as well as to set a good example, etc., etc. Apparently, God recognized that my character needed a Great Deal of improvement in this area, so he gave me children who provide frequent opportunities to practice controlling my temper. I should remember to thank them!
You are so right about never regretting the times you Don't loose it! I have enough sleep issues without middle of the night bad parent guilt.
Great post - and you are so right, you never regret those tempers that weren't lost. I have definitely done that breathe, breathe, breathe, oh, better breathe some more, ok, now I'll force out a couple of strangled words, ok, breathe breathe... :-)
Thankfully those moments are reasonably few and far between. I'll never forget the time that Emma (at about three) sprinkled cornmeal all over the kitchen floor and family room with a spoon. I did not manage well on that one, at least at first... but once I started cleaning it up I did start to see the humor of it all and I did even start to see how it was probably a really fun experiment. Everytime I am tempted to really lose it over some mess or another I think back to that moment and it helps me gain some perspective.
I keep thinking about this: "You don't ever regret the times you didn't lose it..." Well said!
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