If You Pour the Pine-Sol IN the Coffee...

Is that a sign that you need more coffee, less coffee, or just a break from cleaning?

The sad thing is, I didn't realize what I'd done until I looked and realized the coffee was the wrong color! I just thought, "Wow, the house is smelling so nice and clean!"

Today the weather is gorgeous, windows are open, doors flung wide. The coffee is brewing, dishes washing, laundry spinning, boys playing (in the laundry) and it feels so very good to be home.

I've been thinking today about marriages, particularly in today's climate, and how very fortunate I am for the friends we have in our life. When we married, we included the "third vow" in our ceremony. Marriage can be difficult enough to navigate, and it was important to us that the people in our life knew that we needed and expected their support through the ups and downs. We wanted those in our life to support our union. This is something we've kept in mind as the years have passed, and while many of the people in our life today may not have been present to take the third vow with the guests at the wedding, they're the kind of folks who would have taken it -- and meant it.

Over the years, I have learned from these friends to be a better wife; more supportive, more understanding. That's helped me to be a happier wife, and person in general, as well. What a wonderful gift! I'm still far (far, far, faaarrrrrr) from perfect, and it's an ongoing process. The process isn't always easy. Sometimes it's hard to take a deep breath and say, "Let's do what you need to do," when what Zorak needs to do isn't necessarily what I wanted to do. But I'm learning, and it's getting easier.

Sometimes we make decisions that are truly terrifying and I'm scared to pieces, but we do it together and it works out well, and I'm learning to remember that the next time a scary decision comes upon us.

Some days it's difficult to smile when Zorak walks in the door at the end of a long day (for both of us) and the first thing out of my mouth is some request (er, demand) like, "Did you get creamer?" Gee, he may have spoken with other people and done other things since that small email in the wee hours of the morning...

Yes, I am learning to remember those things. I don't always get it right, but I want to, and I strive to. And when I forget, I have beautiful friends to give me a gentle reminder that he might have had a busy day, too, out slaying dragons so that I can stay home...

with the boys...

caring for our family...

being the Mama and doing the Mama stuff...

and he brings me creamer, not because he has to...

but because he loves me.

Ask any parent who has uttered a word in traffic that they'd rather not have their children repeat -- your children are listening and watching. They will see that we aren't perfect- there's no getting around that- but will they also see that we love and strive and work together? Is that what we're showing them? It is. Moreso each day. We hope they will be able to say, when they are grown and discussing their ideas about marriage, that they've seen how well it can work when you work together, stick together, and surround yourselves with people who value your union and the strength of marriage, and that they've seen it through us.

Thank you so much, my friends, and my Zorak. What an education we're all getting!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy