How many of you really love your home? I don't mean this in the terms of having the dream house with the picket fence and all the architectual style and amenities that you've always dreamed of having at your disposal. I mean, quite simply, do you love your home? Is it a place your children enjoy being and your husband loves to return to after a long day at work? Is it a space that makes you smile when you look up from a book, or stand in the doorway and look around? If so, what makes it that way? If not, why not? What's stopping you?
It is so easy, in this day of mail order everything and high-impact marketing, to convince ourselves that "if only the bathroom had more space, or the kitchen had more cabinets, or the living room had a better layout", our homes would be the places we want them to be. And so, we grouse about, waiting for that magical time to come...
You do know it doesn't work that way, right? The happiness and health of a home isn't directly dependent upon the architectural design or number of Pampered Chef products you can cram into the few cabinets you do have. Feng Shui be darned! It's not about the "stuff", it's about the people in the home and what they actually do with the stuff they have.
Zorak and I believe in form taking a backseat to function. Admittedly, sometimes form gets kicked right out of the family car because we're too busy enjoying the things we do and need a little more leg room to stretch out. Our things work for us, we don't work for them. If the two - form and function - happen to emerge from the same process, well WOOHOO! Major bonus. But we made the conscious decision not to be slaves to our home. I do very little dusting because of this: not that my home is dusty and gross, but there is very little to dust. It's not a high-return on my investment of time.
Three things converged on me mid-laundry load today which brought this to mind.
1) I've heard a lot of "how do you do it" questions this week. While I appreciate the compliment, it starts to feel a bit creepy after a while. I can't answer that question honestly. I am not sure what I do that people don't get, or that they want to emulate, but cannot. I'm not a paragon of patience or creativity (oy, certainly not any combination of the two!) My home isn't scary-messy, but it's not museum quality spotless, either. It's Home. We love it, and you're welcome to visit. Zorak usually gives me a heads up phone call if anyone is coming over, but if he doesn't, I don't panic.
2) Then Mrs. M-Mv reponded on the WTM forums to the oft-heard how do you find the time query. Her response was articulate, as usual. She highlighted many things that just don't seem like they need to be expressed, but I suppose they do. Otherwise, they wouldn't be the points that so many people miss.
3) I'm washing linens now (eradicating what I hope and pray will be the last of the Sneaking Snot germs). I'm really happy about this - and laundry is not usually my forte. However, I have only two sets of sheets for our bed; one for summer, one for winter, and I love them both. They make me feel good when I climb into bed. The room looks inviting with the bed made up, even when the linens are mostly covered with books, as is usually the case. The comforter cover and pillow shams we picked up at IKEA last month for $19.99. I can wash them here at home- just strip 'em off and throw 'em in. Then I can go back to reading or writing or blogging. They don't require much of me, but I derive a great deal of pleasure from them (don't look now, but could that be form peeking from the bedroom door?)
The boys require more attention, tender care and interest than any of our household items. That's how it ought to be. Our home isn't picture perfect, but it's where we want to be when all is said and done. It's an extension of all we value, and who we are. I guess that's how we do it all. Maybe. I'm still not sure what the actual question is...
Anyhow, the boys are home! Time to gather library books and see what we can return. Have a truly fantastic Saturday, and Kiss those babies!
~Dy
5 comments:
Great post! We LOOOOOOVVVVE our home. Every inch of it. I, too, don't understand the "how do you do it all?" question. I don't do it all. I choose what we value the most and do that. The rest is left undone. We don't have scrapbooks, I have a closet full of unfinished projects just waiting till there are no more books to read for me to finish them, and my family is one of the least fashionably dressed crowds I know. As great as those things may be, there are other things that we think are greater. So, you see, we really don't do it all!
Our home makes us smile because it has "us" all over it. After 11 years of marriage, we have figured out that we don't like owning things that are only for looking at, we like to have a comfy place to snuggle in most every room, and we like for our things to have a home. (They are not always, or even often, in their place, but even so it makes a huge difference.) Basically, we've molded our home's form around our functions. And here's the funny thing - now that we've moved into this smaller house (1500sf less than the previous two homes we've lived in) that totally fits us our home has become hospitality central. We don't have the fancy formal rooms we used to, but somehow people feel more welcome here! It just makes me happy all over.
Enjoy your weekend Dy!
(Well, since I used to be a "how to you do it all" kinda gal, I can relate to the question. But the answer is a nice, simple "You pick your priorities and then you do them.")
We all *love* our house. It's our first home, and after a decade of rental-beige, we love it for its form and function. We've painted the living room bright, sunflower yellow-orange and bought a crazy red and blue and green swirly couch that's perfect for cudddling up on together. We've got an indigo bedroom, a pale green dining room. We've got candle holders that are bold, funky, and delightful, and lighting candles makes me slow down an inhabit a room.
We bought and decorated our house knowing we have kids. Nothing is sacred. Everything has at least one dent or scratch. But our home is the place we all want to be. It's got colour. It's got comfy places to sit. It's got us.
Sarah
Dy, didn't you know that dust is really a protective covering for your furniture? I thank God for homeschooling, because since I've been doing it, my concern for having the "perfect house" has decreased. I love my home, too. Not because it should be featured in Martha Stewart (it couldn't be!) but because it's warm, comfortable, full of love and books and family. We have worship, music, laughter, learning. What more does a home need?
Dy~ When I first made the transition from career woman to staying at home full-time, I often felt as though the walls were closing in on me. I knew it wasn't the right attitude, so I prayed that the Lord would change my heart and help me to love staying at home. Weird prayer, but He answered it anyway. :-) I now LOVE being a homebody, so much so that if I'm out too much during a particular week I get a bit cranky.
Dy,
I felt like you were expressing my very thoughts with this: "I've heard a lot of "how do you do it" questions this week. While I appreciate the compliment, it starts to feel a bit creepy after a while. I can't answer that question honestly. I am not sure what I do that people don't get, or that they want to emulate, but cannot. "
It starts to get on my nerves when I get this question over and over again. I think the reason is because it is hard to answer. I just do it and it comes naturally to me in many ways I guess. I'm no supermom and we all have our faults but I think sometimes people only look at part of us and do not realize that we have madeother choices they may not have.
In the end it comes down to figuring out what is important to you and your family and truly living by that and organizing your life and priorites around that just as you organize your home around the way you use it and live in it.
We LOVE our home here too. We moved just about a year ago and it is such a perfect home for us. From our home library, to our school/playroom, to our comfortable couches and our wonderful backyard we have spaces that we love and love to use.
For us we found out that starting from what you do in each room helped us - we have to be able to read in every room of the house because we are readers and it is clearly what our home is built around. There are books in baskets and bookshelves and tables in every room of the house and there are warm and soft homemade blankets near every couch or space we cuddle up and read together. We have a computer on each floor - plus laptops for mobility. We are computer and book people and it shows.
I too, never dust, cobwebs grow a little too much as well in our home. I learned I need to stay on top of laundry and the bathroom and dishes or I get grouchy. My life has changed so much over the past few years that not too long ago I may have been the person asking in awe "How do you do it?" now I have trouble answering that question because it feels like it is just something I do.
Our home is a peaceful and welcoming place for every member of our family and for our friends and guests that come. We try to keep an open door policy to our lives and I do my best to live by our families priorities and to enjoy our time at home.
A few weeks ago Serona and I went out to a concert and stopped at a bar. The two of us laughed when we realized we both wanted to be at home in our library enjoying a drink rather than in a noisy, crowded, smoky bar. Home is our favorite place to be.
Peace,
Tenn
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