Cooking and Juggling

I've been trying to pin down the schedule so that I can catch James in the kitchen on a Sunday afternoon (or any other day, I'm not picky) when we're both here, motivated, and hungry (because it's fun to make things more challenging), in the hopes of guiding him through kitchen basics.

Now, before you think, "Wait, he's how old? How does he not know how to cook?" I would like to point out that he KNEW how to cook. He did, and for several years he was a very good cook. But through either a particularly rough chemical upheaval during adolescence, or perhaps an undiagnosed brain injury, or just an increased focus on other things, he has forgotten. It's simply gone; replaced, perhaps, with philosophical inquiry, or scenes from Dumb and Dumber. I don't know. As with much of parenting, it doesn't, at this point, matter much how he forgot how to cook as it does that we remedy it. So, we've been working on that. I'm still cooking seven days a week, and I have no clue what he eats most of the time, but we've managed to get together about once a week (or once every other week, because we're both busy and disorganized) to cook together.

Last Sunday, I made beef enchiladas and he worked alongside me, making a keto version of the same thing. He did a fabulous job. They were delicious and beautiful! Then he ate them all in just a couple of sittings, and there went my plan for him to have ready made food to eat at his place. Next time, we'll double the recipe!

So, since we're often scattered to the winds during the week, we need quick foods, or foods that can be eaten on the go. Since we're all busily engaged in the work of learning, doing, and living, we need foods that are nourishing and that support our endeavors. And, since there are roughly eight billion of us, we need foods we can afford (which means not eating out, even if we find a place that meets the first two requirements!)

This has become my favorite go-to for quick meals on the go:

I found the recipe here, at FlavCity. They do a lot of Starbucks replications in low-carb versions, which is fun (and dangerous - I have an unrepentant sweet tooth)! So far, everything we've tried from this site has been delicious and easy. Kudos to their team for putting together a great resource!

I will readily admit (and those who know me would think I was lying if I didn't just come out with it) that I don't always follow the recipe. This one is very forgiving of additions and slight alterations. (So, if you don't have gruyere, you can use apple smoked cheddar, asiago, Lustenberger (which tastes very earthy and bakes up nicely), or straight up shredded cheddar from Costco. Seriously, use what you have and eat it like you meant it. Life is better that way.

John hates the taste and flavor of cheese and cheese products, so I add jalapenos and cracked black pepper to his. If all he tastes is HOT, then he's a happy camper. It's our unspoken agreement. Well, either that, or he's going to move out and never eat here again. I'm not sure. But he knows he's loved, so there is that.

In the meantime, I've also been thinking up meal options for a dear older lady so that I can cook for her. She's dairy-free, and it was at this point that I realized I cannot just make extra of what we eat and share it with her. We eat a LOT of cheese! Never have I been so thankful that none of us is lactose intolerant in my life! Wowsa! I'm drawing a lot of blanks on that one, and about thisclose to buying diary-free cheese ("cheese"?) to see if our recipes are adaptable for her.

I hope you try something new this week! And I hope it helps you juggle what you've got going on!

Be encouraged!

~ Dy

On Reaching Out

The kids and I talked a lot yesterday about rebuilding our thing, our community. The kids miss it. I miss it. One of the things that's prevented us recently is that we lost a bit of our mojo during the cancer (which, fair enough, it'll knock anyone off their stride for a bit), and then once that was over ... well, we just didn't really get back to it. Inertia is a bear.

Then we moved.

Then Z moved.

Then Nutcracker. Then Christmas. Then Winter. Argh.

And now, here we are.

I think part of our problem is that we don't have the processes down, here, yet. In our old house, we could throw together a cookout for 40 guests with as little as two hours' notice. Easy. In this house, we can't hardly cobble together dinner for the five of us, even with a full day's head start. So that's a little tricky. I suspect we simply have to flail our way through a few gatherings in order to force start the new processes. We'll include apology gifts and flowers for those who get stuck being our first few guests, or something like that. But after that, it should come more naturally.

So the plan we came up with was this: find someone to invite to Sunday dinner and invite them.

What criteria you use doesn't matter. It can be someone you already know and like. It can be someone you'd like to get to know better. It can be someone who has done you a kindness that you'd like to reciprocate. It can be someone who just looks like they'd appreciate being looped in and connected. It can be someone you don't know at all, but you still feel compelled to invite them. It can be someone from work, school, church, a club or class, wherever. There are very few actual limitations on who it can be. Really. Your motivations are your own, and I trust you enough to be good with whatever the Spirit uses to move you. Run with it.

So, we'll see how that goes. It's going to require me to have my shizzle together quite a bit more of a Saturday afternoon, but that's probably something I should keep together as a general rule, anyway, right?

I'd LOVE to hear from you. What motivates you to reach out to someone? And then, how do you do it? Also, how do you keep your shizzle together?

Be encouraged!

~ Dy

And in other news ...

I want to share cute selfies, but they don't exist in my world. My lazy eyelid is getting lazier by the minute (I swear it tried to sneak a bon bon and watch soap operas the other day), and if this keeps up, I'm going to be a walking Picasso piece in about five years. However, ignore that, and I love the picture for several reasons, and those are worth sharing. One, that shirt. I love that shirt.

When the whole cancer thing came up, I had the best cadre of friends to lend support. Some of them were gentle and sincere and somber. These are the people who remind you not to say s**** it and go out in a blaze of tequila-infused glory, but to stay the steady course. God, in His infinite wisdom, gave me several of those. Good call, Lord. I am so thankful for them. Some of them listened. Some of them helped. Some of them sent me inappropriate memes and jokes (both because laughter is the best medicine, and because my tribe is mainly comprised of those who survive through macabre humor), and got me a theme song and a t-shirt! If you need a theme song and don't have one (and you aren't too concerned about having an appropriate theme song, or are, perhaps, just a sucker for Hugh Laurie doing accents), may I suggest this one, by the incomparable Fry and Laurie. Make someone a shirt. It's unique and wonderful and totally worth taking the time to do. The shirt says on the front, "I'm singin' the song, Orrin!" and on the back, it says, "Kickin' Ass". Pick the sayings or phrases that mean something to the person you're supporting. They'll appreciate it for ages. I can't wear this shirt and not smile. Or feel like a big, goofy badass. Truly. It's too big for me now (hallelujah!) but I'm keeping it.

Two, hair. My hair is growing back, and even though my diffuser suffered a mysterious and violent heat-related death a couple weeks ago (so I'm so frizzy most days) (also, it's not that mysterious - I suspect children), I am still thankful to have hair again. I loved having it short -- it gave me a sense of my own strength and reminded me that we're not our outward decorations -- both good lessons. But the regrowing process is also healing and cathartic.

Three, that is a body that is still cancer free. I'm on the books as two years clear, now (which I don't totally get, because it wasn't until my Spring '16 scan that everything was gone-gone, but whatever, I'll take it). The only labs that aren't gorgeous are the ones the Rituxan knocked askew, and Dr. M says those take YEARS (yes, you can hear him speak in all caps when he says it) to recover.

I've still got a monster kidney stone (unrelated, but it goes on the to do list), and I've still got to get the port removed. Probably ought to get on that last bit before I decide to just do it, myself. (I kid. Z, if you're reading this, I'm kidding! Honest!)

And so, that's a load off. There's always increasing static in your head as you near a scan date. It just ramps up, and up, until you think of running to Mexico, or Portugal, or India to see if you can get away from it. But you can't, and so you don't. The only way through the noise is through the process. But good heck, that waiting time is so tense. I'm glad it's over for a while, and anxious to put all that mental wiggle room back to wandering around in circles trying to remember what I was doing.

Be encouraged!

~ Dy

Self Care Through the Ages

I kind of miss childhood, when you could go for a week accumulating the dirt and grime of childhood adventures and still go out in public. (This might be why I enjoy backpacking so much.) Believing with all the faith in the world that playing in the creek totally counted as having bathed, and since your friends were just upstream, catching crawdads, they didn't mind. Or notice.

Mmm. Gross. But yeah.

Still, there you have it. Childhood. Adults were tasked with pointing out when it was time for a bath, and that was fine. That was plenty. You ate what someone else prepared. You didn't really have to think about self care much, if at all.

There are other seasons in life that are reflected in various self-care routines:
Adolescence - the first time your body just up and starts doing weird things on its own, and the frantic scramble to get a grip on that before everything mutates beyond recognition.

Young Adulthood - general awareness that nutrition ought to be a thing, but there's booze. And resilience. So a lot of self care at this point goes into recovery, looking good, and sucking it up.

Marriage - sometimes this is a good stage - there's not only bathing, but some thought goes into meals and routines. It's like having a clue. I know I didn't have a strong clue, and I wasn't good at most of it, but at least there was an attempt.

New Motherhood, Mother-of-Toddlers - these last two being very distinct stages identified mainly by the type of food that's stuck to your shirt and speed with which loud sounds will snap you out of a dead sleep. That was a crazy time. A friend is watching a little one this week and she posted from the bathroom, where she was trying pee in peace. It was hilarious and precious, but I got tired just remembering those days. I let my kids stay up late and eat candy as a thank you for not still being two years old. Because dang. It's a miracle everyone got through that without too many scars or staph or who knows what.

Then there's your 30's. Possibly the first time many of us can take a breath and really think about how we care for ourselves since we last got a grip on the acne and hormones of adolescence ... also the first time we're horrified to realize acne is still a thing past adolescence ... But at this point, you're aware that you need to nourish your body, your soul, your mind. There's a lot to do to really take care of one's self. But it's doable. It's pretty cool.

You'd think by the 40's and 50's, we'd have a routine down pat and not have anything left to figure out. But, no. The body, she is a'changing, and will continue to just up and do weird things on its own. So our care often needs to change with it. But how much do we really think about it?

If you're like me, perhaps you think about it, make a kick butt list of Things You Can Do to Improve Your Situation, and then make another cup of coffee and go back to work doing Something Else, entirely. I've got a great list for 2018 (and no coffee this morning, because PET scan). But if you need some encouragement and practical suggestions, go read Melissa's latest post on When Life Gets Off Track. She gets it. And she knows what she's doing.

Be encouraged!

~ Dy

Scheduling Mishap

I'd hoped to send a care package yesterday to the boys at camp. (I'm not GOOD at it, like a friend of mine is - hers are themed and full of awesomeness. Mine are invariably thrown together at the last minute, and vaguely reflective of the fact that their mother can't quite get it together. Still, I like to think they don't mind so much... I do pull up shy of sending socks and underwear, at least. Although I did include waterproof bandages for James' broken thumb.)

However, with the whomping total six hours of sleep the Littles obtained from Thursday through Sunday, we were bound to have a halt on the assembly line at some point. Jase went down Sunday around five, slept til ten, got up for a bite and went back down until eleven Monday morning. Jacob and Em seemed fine. Weird, but I'd thought that was it, and began congratulating myself on producing superhuman robot children. Ah, no. (Which is good, because that whole concept is a little scary. But I was looking for a silver lining and, well, that's all I had.) EmBaby hung in there long enough to get in a day at the water park before coming unraveled on a cellular level. And when she went, she went quietly and deeply. Snuggled in Monday night at 8, and slept straight through until well after noon yesterday.

So we stayed home and did laundry. And checked on her occasionally. But even for us, there's only so much laundry to be done. By about eleven, we were just having fun with it. Here's how you can use a mirror to see if someone is breathing. Listen to her back. You can hear her heartbeat. Cool, huh? Want another cupcake? If we gave her weird dreams, she never mentioned it. She did pop out of bed a little before one, fully rejuvenated and ready to take on the world again!

We got the box put together, then missed the post office by about four minutes. But it's ready! It's together! (I'll take it up there and leave it in the office so they'll get it with regular mail call. It's just not the same if your Mother hands it to you at camp.)

Do you send care packages? What do you like to put in them? I'm always looking for ideas! Not that I'll get on them ahead of time, but every little bit helps. I've got three more coming up the line!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

On The Mend

How does time speed up as you get older, without affecting your ability to interact with people for whom time is still just crawling along? How do we not just implode upon impact, like grains in a mill?

Our pretty days feel like they flew by us. Granted, if you factor Minnesota into the weather scale, we're still in swimmin' weather, here; if you factor in Florida's weather, somebody's on the verge of calling child protective services because the kids are outside today in hoodies. It's all relative. Still, we made the most of the lovely days, chasing squirrels, watching birds, stacking wood. We got the land cleared a bit, and spent a lot of time spent on the tire swing in the meadow, and walking curbs in town. It wasn't wasted. Still, I'm a little shocked to find it's time for a fire (yeah, I know, it's November - I'm just as shocked to find it's November, believe me!)

On the health front, The Nothing seems to be passing us over. James and John are fine, now. They're off at a Scout campout, as a matter of fact. (Shyeah, it'll be below freezing tonight. What can I say - they are young, resilient, and don't have a lot of foresight.) Jake, Em, and Jase? Only mildly gritchy and just a little slower than usual. Even Zorak, who was out of commission for the bulk of this week, is up and functional and doing things. Me? I look like I've hired out as a testing module for new strains of biological warfare. I don't know what it is, but I give it two thumbs up. This stuff could take out the Ostragoths* in three months, flat. But since everyone who is well either got sick before I did, or got to sleep it off and thus healed more quickly, I have reason to hope the swelling and sore throat will go away, eventually.

In the meantime, I'm off to bleach all the things. Again.

Kiss those babies!
~Dy

*or whoever those crazy kids are fighting, these days

Fit and Funny

We try to be supportive of the kids' interests. This was really easy when they were two, and their interests included snacks, The Wiggles, and nap time. Who couldn't get behind that, right? Now, they're branching out a bit, which is good - a fixation on The Wiggles at the age of 12 would be downright disturbing. It helps, too, that they're interesting and funny kids, and even though each child is so wildly different from the others, they're all pursuing things we can get behind and encourage wholeheartedly. So far, nobody has declared a burning desire to take up nose hair collections, or to become famous for taking compromising pictures of celebrities. So far, it's all good.

James left this for me one morning. I love finding these little comics here and there - I love that he makes me laugh. He's learning how to work CADD (one D? Two? I don't know. I obviously can't run it, if I can't even spell it. But he can. He'll fill me in tomorrow, if I got it wrong.) And he's learning how to make and edit movies. I don't get the fascination, there, but I'm sure he feels the same way about my love of organizing the bookshelves or moving furniture around the room.

And that's one great thing - the kids are really supportive of our various endeavors, too. They've taken beautifully to the chicken tending, and don't mock me for refusing to touch the chickens (I'll help you corner it, but *you* have to pull it out of the tree!) They don't complain much when Zorak calls them out to stand around the car on a sweltering August afternoon, to show them how an a/c clutch works. Nor do they dawdle nearly as much as I would when they make a beverage run.

So last fall, when I realized my bone density wasn't going to magically improve itself via caffeine intake and wishful thinking, and I started working out and reducing my coffee consumption, the kids got behind me. For a while, they stayed well behind me - just out of arm's reach and earshot. But we found a plateau on the caffeine withdrawals and things improved mightily. I'll be honest, the workout program has waxed and waned. But no matter where we were in the cycle, the kids have been right there, along with me. I mentioned once that I thought it was great how enthusiastic they are about working out. James said, "Oh, we don't really like doing it. We just like to encourage you." Heh. Fair enough. And for a while, that was fine.

But now, I'm looking to find ways to make it less something they do for Mom, or less something I have to set aside a time/place/bribe money for (the bribes are for me - I still don't like it, either) -- and more of a thing we just *do*. Together. And hopefully because we want to, and not because we all feel compelled to. To that end, for the next month, we'll be working together through mastering the five essential movements, as outlined in The Primal Blueprint Fitness. Today, we watched the videos, did our initial assessments, and logged our first entries in our logbooks. We'll see how it goes.

Tomorrow (thank God) is a day to "rest, move slowly, or play". I am ALL about that! We have some ideas to flesh out for making our movements more intentional (waiting for the temps to drop back under 100 or so was one of them...) and more enjoyable (that temperature thing came up under this category, too!). Thankfully, it's supposed to dip down to 89 sometime this week! I'll put ideas and plans up here, as we go. Maybe the kids will make some videos, or cartoons, to help with the presentation!

Kiss those babies!
~Dy