Hungover?

3:00AM -
Smidge climbs in bed with us. I scoot over, thinking he wants to snuggle (awwww). Turns out he needs somewhere else to puke, as he'd already defiled his bed. (Ohhhhh.)

At least by now we're efficient, if nothing else. I take shower/jammy duty while Zorak strips the bed, time and again, (and again, and yet again) until, after the fourth round, I realize we are out of sheets, blankets, and old lady mattress protectors. Daylight approaches. Efficiency only goes so far once you've run out of both time and materials.

4:30AM-
I take Smidge to the living room, so he can puke on the couch (we don't really like the couch all that much, anyway). He's settling in, and Emily awakes. I hunker down, thinking if we lay very still she won't know we're awake. Perhaps she's just checking.

4:45AM-
No, she means it. I tell Smidge that I've got to get Miss Emily and I'll be right back. He whimpers a bit, but scootches over enough for me to extricate myself from beneath the cushions. I take her to our room, change her and put her back down.

5:00AM -
I think I must have fallen asleep, as the next thing I know, Smidge has found us and pukes again. On my head. We are completely out of any and all fabric-related barrier products. I briefly contemplate velcroing diapers together to form an absorbent mattress topper, but that requires too much coordination to get all the ends lined up properly. Where's Escher when you need him? Miss Emily is asleep, and fortunately, my head blocked the trajectory so she's also still clean. Smidge and I head back to the couch.

Imagine my joy to find he hadn't puked on the couch! Imagine the total "ew" factor when I realize he'd puked on the floor. And while I'm here, why are socks so absorbent? Nobody sweats THAT much.

5:15AM -
Thankfully, the training potty puts a child at just the right height to sit on one while leaning over the standard toilet. It's the small things that mean so much.

6:30AM -
Smidge is out. Miss Emily is awake again. The washer won't spin the clothes.

7:00AM -
I don't know who's still up, but I'm not.

Zorak stayed home with us until it began to look as though Smidge won't have to be taken in, and probably isn't going to dehydrate by noon. By ten this morning, whatever it is that wants out has moved far enough down the digestive tract to head out the other end. At least we have enough underwear to tide us over while I wash the sheets. And I can start trying to feed him crackers and sprite without fear of too much organic retribution.

He has no fever, no pain (other than what can be expected from gestating a graboid in your gut, I suppose), isn't chipper or talkative...

Hmmm, I didn't think he could reach the rum...

Kiss those babies!
~Dy