People want life to be easy. I want life to be easy. I'd willingly tackle a Staples employee for one of those stupid buttons. Due to certain legal restraints, however (and the fact that some of those guys can really run), I still have no button and it's still not easy. Thankfully, this life we've chosen, and the lifestyle we pursue have taught me much. I've learned, for example, the value of repetition in memorization. In the two days that have passed the week thus far, I have repeated certain phrases to the point that I can recite them in my sleep (and possibly do, but since he hasn't mentioned it, I'm certainly not going to). Some favorites:
The task at hand, sweetheart, the task at hand... (68 times - it's the best I can do to try to keep the children focused on, surprisingly enough, the task at hand, when they'd much rather ping off one another like large, obnoxious pin balls)
Is it your problem? No? OK, then... (12 times - This is my attempt to curtail the amount of tattling the elder children feel required to engage in. Smidge gets away with a lot that I would normally not allow, simply because they just HAD to tattle. I'm not entirely convinced of the wisdom in this approach, but it is kinda fun to see the looks of incredulity on the older two when it happens.)
Inside voice (I lost count on this one, but we went to the library, which is very exciting, and the small one squeaks when he gets excited.)
Well, if you won't listen to me, then you'll just have to deal with the consequences. (4 times - this one actually is decreasing in frequency, as they slowly catch on to the whole, "If you get hurt doing something I've told you not to do, you get no sympathy" concept. WooHoo!)
I think it helps to have a partner with a wonderful sense of humor. To have a partner who will let you know when you need to tag him in and let him handle the wee ones. To have a partner who won't roll his eyes if you mention that a certain someone sure missed Daddy today, but rather seeks out said someone and makes a point of filling that little emotional tank... well, that's just worth more than anything I could name. It also contributes to the less sanity-draining favorites:
Who wants dessert? (Something I rarely get to utter, and it's SO MUCH FUN when I do!)
You boys were wonderfully helpful - thank you. (55 times - They are helpful, and we do let them know.)
WOW, who emptied the dishwasher? (4 times - They're either going to think we are completely enamoured with their skills, or that we need medication since we just can't figure out who would empty the dishwasher every. single. day. Either way, it makes them giggle.)
OK, one more story. Maybe two. Or three. (2 times, a wonderful bedtime diversion.)
I love you. (Too many times to count.)
I love you, too. (Also too many times to count.)
Zorak has spoken wisely about parenting, in that "it's not a case where you simply tell the child once and the topic is done. You must show them, and tell them, over and over and over again. Eventually, they will get it, as long as you don't expect to say it once and then drop it." It includes modeling, as well as telling. That's hard, sometimes. Doing it with marathon-like commitment is even harder.
But until the guy at Staples sprains an ankle, it looks like this is how it's going to have to be. And I'm really glad, when all is said and done.
Kiss those babies!
~Dy
8 comments:
A difficult life is so character building isn't it?
Lately, my oldest daughter has been just quietly hanging around when I'm in the kitchen. Drawing, reading...not talking to me or anything, while I clean or cook and sing along to the radio. "I like just being quietly with you," she said. It makes me smile just to think of it. Even though the rest of the day might be filled with chaos, there is, at least, a little bit of peace.
Great to know that I'm not the only broken record in Mommyville! I haven't counted how many times I say "Stay on task" every lesson, but it is Way too many. What I want to know is, can you actually bring yourself to follow through with the "Well, if you won't listen to me...," because I say that one and then can't! My personal favorite is "Let's have ice cream."
Jennie, I love the quiet time together. The older two, in turn, seem to seek that out. Whether it's sitting and reading while I cook, or working a puzzle while I read aloud. Just being together is nice, and although it caught me off guard when they began doing it, I now look forward to it very much.
Melora, oh yea, I am SO not a softie in that area. If I've taken the time and effort to explain to them WHY something is dangerous, and that I do NOT want them doing it, and they MUST do it, well, "Yeah, that looks like it hurts," is about all the sympathy they get from me. I've had some people stare aghast at me for it, and a few people have actually said something to me (along the lines of, "But, but, I think he hit pretty hard when he landed," followed by the inferenced "so WHY are you not dropping everything and cuddling him!?!?") Obviously, if there is a serious injury, I'm going to attend to it, but I'm not passing off the baby and dropping my books to go pick up a child who has been told repeatedly not to run down the wheelchair ramp at church, or not to swing the stick so hard because he's going to hit himself in the head, kwim? ;-) Just don't have the energy, really. But it does work. They'll think twice about doing things when there's no sympathy in view.
Dy
Oohh, I love it when you post things like this, because even though my children (and husband) are older than yours, I still need these gentle reminders. It becomes a bit easier when I can think in the back of my head that I am not alone- that there are other mamas out there working as hard as I am to create self-sufficient, loving caring adults someday.
Know what? I love you too.
LB
Wow,just...wow! That was a great post.
Thanks so much for sharing it.:o)
Dy, you rock. :)
I say FOCUS over and over to 5yos. The last time my 9yos complained about how long math was taking him, I reminded him that it would probably go quicker if he'd stop staring out the window. He doesn't do that anymore. :)
I'm the same way about broken rules that result in minor injuries. I'm really glad to hear that I'm not the only mother like this. :D
Focus: When my oldest daughter was two, we had her start helping out by setting forks and spoons out on the table for meals. Two year olds tend to get distracted easily, though, and I'd frequently say, "Brenna! Forks and spoons! Focus!" After a while, she got the notion that "focus" was some kind of short-hand for "forks and spoons". "I'll get the focus," was heard frequently for another year!
You can buy an Easy button at Staples, I don't know how much it helps, but it makes me feel better just to push it every once in a while.
Bridget
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