A Little Service

The boys and I drove down to Cullman yesterday to help the VFW place flags on the graves of veterans for the coming Memorial Day observation. They had a lovely turn out of people from all seasons of life, and everyone was very thoughtful and respectful.

Cemeteries are a big thing here in the South. They have decoration days and walking tours. People make a point to visit them when driving to other places. It's definitely A Thing. I love the idea of it, but after two hours of reading each and every headstone in this cemetery (so that we did not miss any of the veterans, we read each one carefully), I don't know that I could do it as a past time or a hobby. The endless litany of the lost -- infant children, toddlers, mothers, fathers, siblings, soldiers... every headstone representing an entire home, sometimes an entire community, mourning and filled with sorrow... it's a crushing weight when focused.

And people get attached to their cemeteries, here. One kind lady we spoke with was telling us about the cemetery where her parents are buried, and how there are many unmarked graves from when workers would follow the saw mills for work. If someone in the family died while they were stationed here, they would, understandably, bury the person there locally. I thought it was the lack of marker identification that bothered her, but she wrapped up her story with, "And then, when the work moved on, they just up and went! And left 'em there!" As if that were the more incomprehensible option. Well, I guess to her, it was. I don't know if the boys caught that, but I had to suppress a smile.

But I do get it. The cemetery my father is buried in is behind one of the high schools I went to, and I would often wander over during my lunch hour to sit in the solitude to think and pray. There is a sense of connection in the individual. And we need to strive for a sense of connection to the whole, to every soul who shares this earth with us. But for me, the weight of loss in finding that connection at the cemetery is too much. I'll seek out connections among those who share the earth with us now, and try to make our involvement one that makes the story a person will have a better one. It won't show on a headstone, but it will show where it matters most, and that's okay.

Kiss those babies!
Dy