Today, From Jacob's Perspective

My day started out so nicely! I awoke in Mommy and Daddy's bed, all snuggly and warm under the flannel and down. The sun lit the room just enough for me to look around, but not so bright I wanted to get up.

I hear John running down the hall. Oh, I love John! *FWOMPF* John landed on me. Wow. He's heavy. That hurt. I smack him, but he doesn't move. So I smack him again. And again. He yells at me, and that makes me cry. Mommy rolls over on both of us and gives us raspberries. I don't mind raspberries, but does she have to sit on me to do it? She sweeps us up and carries us downstairs. Daddy made coffee. Mommy smiles.

We have sweet cheese bread and fresh fruit for breakfast. YUM! James comes downstairs. He giggles and jumps around a lot in the mornings. I want to be like that when I'm big. I also want to jump on John's head while he's sleeping. I try it today on the couch, but learn that he really needs to be sleeping or it doesn't turn out well. Not for me, anyway.

The timer on the black box in the kitchen beeps and everyone sits down. Creepy. James reads a book while I climb on his head. He likes that. Then I notice Mommy has a book and is heading for the couch with John! That is bad, very bad. I cannot let her read aloud. I cannot let her read quietly. So I scream. I climb on the couch and try to jump on Mommy's head, too, but she's pretty quick for being so large. This happens every day. They call it "Reading Lessons". Well, I haven't learned how to stop the reading yet, but I will. Oh yes, I will...

I'm sleepy. I doze off on the couch, snuggled against Mommy, half-heartedly shoving at the book hovering over my head...

Daddy comes home. He smiles at me and picks me up. He laughs and hugs all of us. Then he feeds me bits of his lunch. He loves us.

As I am basking in the glow of happiness, Mommy sneaks up behind me and shoves my head into a dark, scary tunnel! Out of nowhere, such an assault! I have no chance for escape, and I start to scream for help. Suddenly I come out the other side. Oh. It's that shirt thing again. Well, alright, since it's already around my neck... Then come the shoes. Shoes, I can handle. They don't make my head disappear, and it's such fun to watch Mommy try to catch my feet with the shoes.

Daddy loads me into the car. I help with the buckles. We are off on a trip! Wee!

It doesn't turn out to be much fun. The first place we stop had the most beautiful sparkly things in a corner! I try to tell them about this amazing thing. I'm grunting and squealing for all I'm worth! At one point, I get so wobbly that I literally tip over. Nothing. Well, the boys seem to get it, but the adults just ignore it. Like they see this all the time? I'm over a year old and I don't remember ever seeing anything this exciting! There are shining dangly things, too. I'm in heaven! Mommy keeps saying, "Look with your eyes, not with your hands," and "No-no, Baby."

Oh for Pete's sake, Woman! Just how do you learn anything about your world when you put almost none of it in your mouth? I persist. So does she. The whole ordeal is quite the exercize in frustration. I am glad when we leave.

Our next stop is this wonderful place with cups of bubbly drinks and cartons of rubbery, plastic-like things that smell so good. The best part is that they let me put them in my mouth! We eat. Well, they eat, I explore, making up for the lack of exploration at the first place. (I am still pretty peeved about that.)

Just when I think we will go home for some quality screaming at Mommy while she tries to read a book to the boys time and then a nap, things take a turn for the worse. (You know, the boys are far too quiet when Mommy messes with those books. I think they've forgotten how much fun it is to do that.) Instead of heading home, we pull into the book place. Well, rats.

We walk in, and what do you know, but here are more lovely corners just filled with sparklies and danglies and crinklies. And still no touching. No eating. No licking. No throwing. I don't know where they get these ideas, but I suspect they're wrong. These things are just made for eating and licking and throwing. Why else would so many of them be round if not for rolling along the floor?

Mommy and the boys wander the rows, picking out more infernal books. I try to wander the rows, too, but Mommy (I'm starting to doubt her benevolence) keeps retrieving me. Fine, I think, I'll climb. Again with the "no-no" (as if it's one word? Does she not know she's repeating herself?) and the "come here" and the "shh shh shh, it's ok".

It is NOT OKAY! The boys have plenty of opportunity to bolt while I have her distracted. I don't know why they don't. They could have stripped the green thing in the corner twice over. If they weren't going to take advantage of the chance, the least they could have done is distract her for me. I did manage to cut the trip short, but not short enough.

That place is infinitely interesting if they would just leave me alone and let me explore! I found cords sticking out of boxes! I found another pile of sparklies. I found these great flat, rectangular plastic boxes that just sail across the floor with very little effort. Yup, you guessed it: no-no, don't touch, come here. Oh, I give up. Let's go home.

We pick up Daddy and come home. I like it here, and to show my appreciation, I quit crying. We run and play. Mommy sings. I scream some more. She stops. The boys play at the computer while Mommy makes the kitchen smell yummy. I throw legos into the kitchen. Mommy likes that. She shoves them back my way so I can throw them again.

We hurray the moose and eat. I love to bury my face in a warm, buttery pile of mashed potatoes. It feels so good. You have to try it some time. Everyone uses their happy voices at dinner. Everyone talks. It's noisy, but it's good noise. There are warm smells and soft smiles. James says it's a magical place, where we eat. I think he's right.

We play a bit after supper. I help the boys tidy our bedroom, and then we play in the tub. I pee in it, but don't tell them. They get weird about that. Pfft. Like they've never peed in the tub before. Right.

Then we wrestle and jump. We put on warm jammies fresh from the dryer and curl up in big, soft blankets.

The day ends in Mommy's arms, her voice calling out from behind one of those ~~~~ books. But it feels so good to be here, like this. I'm warm and fed and happy. I don't want to move, so I snuggle in a little deeper and listen to the sounds of my home.

Goodnight!
~Jacob